2013.12.16 13:00 - ------

Eliza hosted and posted no session at this time, so offers a bit of writing instead. :)


Acts that I caught myself in, this last week, included:  

- Chattering to fill the air at a too-small small bridal shower, which reminded me of being cutsie at a job many years before and accidentally dropping a heavy metal shelf on someone who then was rushed to the ER... considered how often I've seen it play out (for myself or some other) that, full of self, there is some carelessness... how much greater the measure of carefulness and kindness in the world must be in operation generally, that so much goes so well. 

(My grandfather shared with me the story of the most poignant night of his life, in which, aggravated and wrestling intensely with a pair of pliers while out on his fishing boat far away from shore, he lost his footing. The boat drifted away. Sunset passed quickly, leaving him wading in the dark ocean waves of the Atlantic for several hours until he knew, hope was lost. Then... a small light, a small boat... a rescue.)


- Going through the motions of putting together furniture by myself, but secretly waiting for/expectng a rescue. It is still half made, but with the request for help, now exposed. Acknowledging things I take for granted and in doing so extending forgiveness for ways in which I have felt my roles taken for granted as well. Once, while in meditation a sentence floated up: "You take nothing for granted." I pondered it like a koan for years because, there were several possible layers. Was it a compliment? From me to myself? Or was it that, like the Beatles lyric "Nothing's gonna change my world...", I was meant to appreciate 'nothing' more... or the empty, luminous, impermanance of everything...

Just reaching out. :)