2009.08.15 07:00 - The Loneliness of The Loveliness

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    The Guardian for this meeting was sophia Placebo. The comments are by sophia Placebo.

    Morning ,the rebirth of the day at each day .New sun ,new earth and new You .

    Me,Eliza,Maxine and Yakuzza joined this small morning circle . As the birds song at each morning breakdown ,so was this conversation.


               The Greetings

    sophia Placebo: Hello Eliza
    Eliza Madrigal: Hi Sophia! :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Curious about your tag "Open this END?"
    sophia Placebo: it is an art group , announcemnt about art exhibits and such
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah, nice :)
    Maxine Walden: hi, Eliza and Sophia
    sophia Placebo: Hello Maxine
    Eliza Madrigal: Hi Maxine :)
    Maxine Walden: sorry to be very late
    Eliza Madrigal: Oh, me too... just arrived

    90 seconds experiance -thought travelling-

    sophia Placebo: not at al
    Eliza Madrigal: That pause seemed long :)
    sophia Placebo: :)
    Maxine Walden: it did!
    Maxine Walden: always interesting for me to see where I 'am' at the ends of the 90 sec pause, and sometimes seems quite far from where I was at the beginning of the pause...how about others?
    sophia Placebo: intersting max
    Eliza Madrigal: Yes I agree, Maxine
    sophia Placebo: never noticed that befor
    Eliza Madrigal: I do seem to take note
    sophia Placebo: i'll give it a try next pause
    Eliza Madrigal: There are times when I feel compelled to write something, and after the pause am so relieved to let it go
    Maxine Walden: know that feeling
    sophia Placebo: yes
    Maxine Walden: sometimes my impulse to write is a king of impulse to possess, to hold on via the written word
    Maxine Walden: kind
    Maxine Walden: (but interesting slip, maybe an impulse which wants to be king
    sophia Placebo: :)
    Eliza Madrigal smiles nods vigourously at writing sometimes being a drive to possess or 'make something happen's
    Eliza Madrigal: *happen'
    sophia Placebo: to possess what ?
    Maxine Walden: right
    Maxine Walden: for me, sophia, to possess whatever the feeling or experience I was having, so as not to let it go, or even to be able to savor it long after the event
    Eliza Madrigal: and at times to get ahold of a thought... try to 'make' oneself or another understand?
    Maxine Walden: yes, yes, Eliza, exactly!
    sophia Placebo: as in Eurika
    Maxine Walden: and it is the forcing ...the wish to be in charge or make it happen...
    Eliza Madrigal: yes like a contriving. This works in reverse too I think... editing down too much for fear of looking/sounding silly or what have you
    Eliza Madrigal: Eurika, Sophia?
    Maxine Walden: yes, contrivance as in 'how will I look'
    Eliza Madrigal nods
    sophia Placebo: yes to hold on a thought as if it was a discovery that should be presented to the world
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah, yes!!
    Maxine Walden: oh, yes!
    Eliza Madrigal: Funny that sometimes maybe it is... but one can't control or get ahold of that anyway!
    sophia Placebo: agree re contrivance

    Maxine's lovely morning inspiration :the loneliness of the loveliness

    Maxine Walden: having an interesting experience this morning (I live in SL timezone); looking forward to a meditative weekend, alone amidst some woods/cabin that I love; but feeling a little lonely this morning, perhaps a bit afraid to go into the loneliness of the loveliness and so looking forrward to being with my friends here
    Eliza Madrigal: How interesting Maxine... makes me think of the topography you've mentioned re the unconscious?
    sophia Placebo: :)
    Maxine Walden: ah, Eliza?
    Eliza Madrigal: And it IS nice to see you this morning :)
    Eliza Madrigal: 'the lonliness of the loveliness'... (swoons) yes some things SHOULD be written : )
    sophia Placebo: silance in the presence of beauty is a beauty
    Maxine Walden: oh, thank you! I always feel warmed by our PaB conversations...oh, Eliza, thank you and yes, sophia
    sophia Placebo: i couldnt let it go :) and i was laughing during the pause cause i watched my temptation to post that line or to watch my thoughts change and travel:)
    Eliza Madrigal giggles
    Maxine Walden: oh, sophia, lovely observation
    Maxine Walden: self consciousness trips us up sometimes!
    sophia Placebo: yes
    Maxine Walden: but laughing at the tendency is a lovely awareness of self
    Eliza Madrigal: yes true... really seeing what one's tendencies are.... makes one softer toward others too
    sophia Placebo: still thinking why you feel afriad to be alone with loveliness?
    Maxine Walden: my too a bit, sophia, about the anxiety...
    Maxine Walden: it may seem strange to feel a little anxious on the verge of beauty, as if the awe makes me feel small, maybe not up to the task of the appreciation it deserves?
    sophia Placebo: i understand
    Maxine Walden: may not be quite right...but something close to feeling small in the face of...
    Eliza Madrigal: Ahh, awe. Yes, that makes perfect sense
    Yakuzza Lethecus: hi everyone
    Maxine Walden: hi, Yaku
    Eliza Madrigal: It expands our capacities I think... that fear/awe
    sophia Placebo: Hello Yakuzza
    Eliza Madrigal: Hi yakuzza! :)
    Maxine Walden: agree, Eliza
    Maxine Walden: we are speaking about feeling anxious in the presence, perhaps amidst the awe, of beauty,
    Maxine Walden: and the pleasure of being with friends on the verge of the loneliness/loveliness of meditation...but also other things

    link to prayer

    Eliza Madrigal: Gosh, which also was what the discussion of prayer brought me to think about a lot afterward... that 'fear' or awe in Presence ... Hmmmm
    Maxine Walden: :)
    sophia Placebo: what brought you to think about that Eliza?
    Eliza Madrigal: it can be unstabling... and facing that, wow
    Eliza Madrigal: One of the things you spoke about Sophia, that night, was 'fear' and I thought of all the ways I've seen/heard that word...
    Eliza Madrigal: So when I picture Maxine in the midst of beauty, looking out to taking more in/appreciating... seeing....
    Eliza Madrigal: and that lonliness...
    Eliza Madrigal: MM, makes me think of how one might approach God
    sophia Placebo nods , similar in many ways
    Maxine Walden: maybe opening ourselves up to beauty or prayer of God feels similar -- open, vulnerable and not sure what we will discover...and the uncertainty brings a bit of anxiety

    cover uncover

    Eliza Madrigal: Vulnerability, yes... a sense of setting out to 'uncover' and take in the beauty, in a sense?
    Maxine Walden: yes, Eliza, my thought as well
    Maxine Walden: the uncovering may leave me feeling anxious
    Eliza Madrigal nods, understanable
    sophia Placebo: what do we cover with ?
    Eliza Madrigal: I've used the term 'taking in' twice and notice that that implies a kind of keeping... which of course is impossible
    Eliza Madrigal: Oh, yes what a question Sophia
    Maxine Walden: yes, sophia, great question
    sophia Placebo: i've been thinking about it these days alot
    Maxine Walden: what thoughts, sophia?
    sophia Placebo: well , it is a mix of many thoughts ,
    sophia Placebo: some were provoked due to sl discussions , some due to my meditation in quran
    sophia Placebo: to make it short , in islam we have the word belivers and whom cover for non belivers
    sophia Placebo: as for belivers we could be too in that category if we dont appreciate Allah creations
    sophia Placebo: which are everything
    sophia Placebo: so i was thinking what we cover with , how and why ,and why the word cover
    Eliza Madrigal: Hmmm how interesting.. so that willingness toward appreciation/uncovering "is" belief?
    sophia Placebo: yes
    Maxine Walden: very interesting, sophia!
    Eliza Madrigal: so it might also be one who faces the awe...
    Eliza Madrigal: What we cover with seems very individual in some ways, and very universal in others... like the self-consciousness we began talking about? even in writing, etc
    Maxine Walden: enjoy following your integrative thoughts, Eliza
    sophia Placebo nods
    Eliza Madrigal: :) Thank... we seem to have a very nice collaboration today... and such a picture you gave us Maxine :)
    Eliza Madrigal is very inspired and wants to find a wooded cabin now
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    sophia Placebo: hehe
    Maxine Walden: hmm, we converse richly and enrich each other...
    Maxine Walden: yes, a cabin amidst beauty...maybe it can be in each of us as well...I seem to take my weekend cabin experiences into the first part of the week...
    Maxine Walden: and for me this conversation also provides a haven of warmth, and beauty
    Eliza Madrigal smiles. so true
    sophia Placebo: :)
    Maxine Walden: thank you all for this lovely conversation; it fortifies me with a kind of friendship-beauty which I will take into the rest of the weekend experience
    sophia Placebo: thank you maxine for your beautifull presence !
    Eliza Madrigal: appreciating awe with and of each other :) Thank you so much, Maxine... a really lovely way to begin the weekend
    Maxine Walden: and perhaps I had better go, which is difficult because it is so warm and friendly here...
    Maxine Walden: lovely for all of us. Hope the rest of the weekend is enriching for us all...and maybe in some way we can share what transpired for us during the rest of the weekend
    Maxine Walden: share it sometime
    Maxine Walden: bye for now
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, will be nice :) Bye for now, Maxine :)
    sophia Placebo: bye max have a nice weekend

    Ramadhan Journey

    Eliza Madrigal: Sophia, you will be gone for a while after today? Or?
    sophia Placebo: yes eliza
    sophia Placebo: Ramadhan would be 6 days from now
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah! Somehow I thought that was later in the year... am terrible with calendars
    sophia Placebo: plus the week of Eid - breaking fast -
    Eliza Madrigal: That seems like a time one might look toward with a kind of awe.. a time of bonding and setting aside the 'norm'
    sophia Placebo: moon years are shorter than sun years by 11 days
    sophia Placebo: so it changed each year
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah, perhaps that's why I didn't automatically connect that.. wondered if you were travelling or if school was getting more demanding :)
    sophia Placebo: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Is Eid a very celebratory time?
    sophia Placebo: the work would be more demanding though it would be shorter , but pab sessions would always be in the peak time of everything
    Eliza Madrigal nods
    Eliza Madrigal: like an extended time of resetting...
    Eliza Madrigal: Fasting is an interesting topic also... the various reasons for fasting in traditions
    sophia Placebo: Eid is like thanksgiving day , special prayer in the morning in mosque ,,visiting the family the close as well as near , visiting the deads in graves
    Eliza Madrigal: Ooh... reflection then?
    sophia Placebo: close and the not close i meant *
    Eliza Madrigal: yes
    sophia Placebo: just being with each other showing that we can forget each other mistakes
    Yakuzza Lethecus: 24 Shaaban 1430 :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :) Nothing more important than that
    sophia Placebo: haha yes yak thats the date of today
    sophia Placebo: the second day is for going trips and such
    sophia Placebo: and third day too . those are not isalmic eid rather traditional to celebrate
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah, 'add on's?
    sophia Placebo: lol yes
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: I grew up without a lot of structure, so quite fascinating to think of so many 'in sync'
    sophia Placebo: hehe
    Eliza Madrigal: we do that here... with the pauses :)
    sophia Placebo: you got the weekends

    weekends,mothers and children , Maria Shiver

    Eliza Madrigal: Well am glad I got to see you beforehand, Sophia :) I'll try to check in on your timeslot here, though weekends are unpredictable :)
    sophia Placebo: :) thanks
    sophia Placebo: yes weekends can go crazy sometimes
    sophia Placebo: or too way boring on others
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, especially once school begins here. My kids are in all kinds of activities... and rarely give me planning time. hah
    Eliza Madrigal: They wake up and "Oh, and this is going on and that...and this..."
    sophia Placebo: hehe
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Then Sunday night "Oh, and I needed ___ book by tomorrow"
    sophia Placebo: lol yes that happens all the time
    Eliza Madrigal: and to print ____, __. "What do you mean no printer ink?"
    Eliza Madrigal: haha, yes. You have a largish family so you know
    sophia Placebo: :) )
    Eliza Madrigal: Oh... something nice to share http://www.boston.com/news/local/bre...shivers_e.html
    sophia Placebo: checking
    Eliza Madrigal: Very inspiring... Maria Shriver's speech at her mother Eunice's eulogy... a very inspiring figure, began "The Special Olympics"
    Eliza Madrigal: "She let all the different parts of her go out, and that's what made her unique. She didn't allow herself to be tamed, or contained. She achieved herself, her true authentic self."
    Eliza Madrigal: "She showed up in her life as herself, and that takes courage."
    Eliza Madrigal: It is long, but so worth reading
    sophia Placebo: sounds to be intersting
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    sophia Placebo: i dont know maria shiver but the daughetr speech is very intresting
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, even on just that level, just a daughter talking about her 'mummy', it is moving
    Eliza Madrigal: and that she appreciates, in the end, her mother's commitment to authenticity and working for a more compassionate world
    Eliza Madrigal: just as a person
    Eliza Madrigal: Sigh. I should get going :)
    sophia Placebo: i liked this at the end
    sophia Placebo: Thank you Mummy, for giving me the breath of life.
    sophia Placebo: simple but very meaningfull if really meant
    Eliza Madrigal: / me smiles, yes...
    Eliza Madrigal: a very gentle sentiment
    sophia Placebo: see you later Eliza ! have great weekend!
    sophia Placebo: i should be off too
    Eliza Madrigal: Thanks so much Sophia :) Have a beautiful Rahmadan
    sophia Placebo: see you later yak
    sophia Placebo: thanks :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Bye yakuzza :)
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