2014.01.24 01:00 - Families and the Heart Song

Wol Euler was guardian for this session.

Lila Darkmatter: Hi Wol... don't stay on my account
Wol Euler: good morning, lila
Wol Euler: heheheh
Wol Euler: no, I was just changing
Wol Euler: had enough of the cow
Lila Darkmatter: :)
Wol Euler: you#re up early
Lila Darkmatter: sorry... the start up disk issue is giving me a new mesage and stopping me... so if I poof, that's why
Wol Euler: okay
Wol Euler: what is it saying now?
Lila Darkmatter: it is asking me to close applications
Wol Euler: that sounds critical
Wol Euler: critically low diskspace, I mean
Lila Darkmatter: yes... so I'm closing everything but firestorm right now
Lila Darkmatter: I have a habit of having lots of windows open, on two browsers
Wol Euler nods
Wol Euler: I do that too, and I suspect that is the core of the problem
Lila Darkmatter: I know too little about how this works... for instance I would think that dropbox wouldn't take up much space, but it probably does
Wol Euler: it *should* take up none at all, unless you have set it to make copies on your disk
Lila Darkmatter: ah... I don't even know
Lila Darkmatter: see :)
Lila Darkmatter: Anyway... how are you doing?
Wol Euler: well, the default is "none" so it's probably not dropbox's fault
Lila Darkmatter: I removed a lot of photos
Wol Euler: I'm groggy and grumpy today, stupid brain woke me up early on my half-day off :/
Lila Darkmatter: aw
Lila Darkmatter: can you nap later?
Lila Darkmatter doesn't have to get up for another hour but here I am.... ::grumbles and blames Wol's brain::: hehhhe
Wol Euler giggles.
Wol Euler: I can try to sleep for an hour after this, yes
Lila Darkmatter: might have nice dreams that way
Wol Euler smiles.
Wol Euler: looking for the silver lining :)
Lila Darkmatter: dream yoga instructions are to get up for a little window, be a little productive, and then go back to sleep for a bit
Lila Darkmatter: :)
Lila Darkmatter: so the lining is just there
Wol Euler: ah :)
Lila Darkmatter: but I'm happy to be part of your core of insomniacs today
Wol Euler: hi-5!
Lila Darkmatter laughs
Wol Euler: it feels a bit odd to claim this as insomnia when many people have been up at work for hours already
Wol Euler: but I will
Wol Euler grins.
Lila Darkmatter: :) we each have a unique relationship with time
Wol Euler nods.
Lila Darkmatter: but I was quoting you from the guardians session...
Wol Euler: oh, yes. heheheh. I forfot
Lila Darkmatter: :)
Wol Euler: *forgot even
Wol Euler: forfot is probably the past tense of forfeit
Wol Euler: or it should be
Lila Darkmatter: "to put on the table as if an offering" ;-)
Lila Darkmatter: so not quite forgotten but half way
Wol Euler: nice :)
Lila Darkmatter: any other news to report, aside from brain shenanigans?
Wol Euler: I'm feeling generally cheerful, without particular reason
Wol Euler: but also feeling ravenously hungry all the time
Lila Darkmatter: >perfect<
Wol Euler: and I've learned that those two together indicate a bout of depression coming on
Lila Darkmatter: Ohhhh....
Wol Euler: so I am arming myself for a sad month or so
Lila Darkmatter: perhaps the cheer drains energy in a way

--BELL--

Wol Euler: I think it's "just" biorhythms
Wol Euler: because the pattern is quite consistent on a very long time-scale
Wol Euler: knowing that helps me deal with it
Lila Darkmatter: I see... yes, me too
Lila Darkmatter: if you do become depressed, do you forget the pattern?
Wol Euler: heheh, yes, one of the effects of depression is that one doesn't think as clearly :)
Lila Darkmatter nods....
Wol Euler: so like the man in "Memento" tattooing himself, I leave notes where I can find them
Lila Darkmatter: sounds funny but I am wondering if making yourself a "depression kit" would be helpful... a page of foods and things that help... to remind yourself even when you don't 'feel' like remembering...
Lila Darkmatter: Oh, haha
Wol Euler: absolutely :)
Lila Darkmatter: same wavelength
Wol Euler: I suspect also that there is a food component, yes
Wol Euler: but I can't figure that out
Lila Darkmatter: you've figured out as far as to see that you become hungry beforehand
Wol Euler nods.
Wol Euler: but I think there are certain food triggers, or amplifiers
Lila Darkmatter: yes I wonder
Lila Darkmatter: maybe you're sort of overdue for letting yourself feel some sadness...
Wol Euler: the time-scale is so vast that it is really hard to track them
Wol Euler: ha, that may be true
Lila Darkmatter: but how to create safeties so that you come out okay is the thing
Wol Euler: god knows I've been keeping that down
Lila Darkmatter nods
Lila Darkmatter: lots has happened this past year for you and your family
Wol Euler nods.
Wol Euler: Mom is in Victoria now, so doesn't see Dad, which means that I don't get reports on him. In a way I miss those
Wol Euler: even though they were often saddening
Lila Darkmatter: and of course you want to hear reports, because that's your lifeline to him...the connecting thread
Wol Euler nods.
Lila Darkmatter: Oh... and she doesn't care to chat when she's feeling badly?
Wol Euler: that's my inference
Wol Euler: well she has always "protected us" from bad news, keeping secrets is another word for it
Lila Darkmatter: yes...
Lila Darkmatter: I'm divided about that
Lila Darkmatter: I understand it, and don't disagree with the strategy all the time... but, you are all grown now
Lila Darkmatter: maybe it gives her some kind of energy/strength to protect you
Wol Euler smiles.
Lila Darkmatter: her role
Wol Euler: I hope that is true, and it's not an extra burden
Lila Darkmatter: probably both :)
Wol Euler nods.
Lila Darkmatter: you're so blessed as a family... I know I always say that, when things are so hard...
Lila Darkmatter: but your closeness is touching to me
Wol Euler: we are, I know.
Wol Euler: I hadn't realized that as a kid, I thought we were "average"
Lila Darkmatter: :)
Wol Euler: Toronto in the 60s and early 70s was a blessed place
Lila Darkmatter: a pocket of goodness
Wol Euler: there wasn't a single parent in my circle of acquaintances (except the mother of my friend Jim, whose father was a cop killed on duty)
Lila Darkmatter: wow
Wol Euler: if there was alcoholism ... actually there was, and I knew it, our neighbour on the right was a drunk
Wol Euler: but he was the only one, and he never beat his wife or son
Wol Euler: I had no idea what some poeple grow up with, until I came on the internet and started talking to people here
Lila Darkmatter: it is good to hear stories like yours, for me too
Lila Darkmatter: on monday when I was late to session, or um, E was...
Lila Darkmatter: I was with a family like that, too...
Wol Euler nods.
Lila Darkmatter: the three of them - mom and two grown kids - are all in SL together

--BELL--

Lila Darkmatter: and soooo loving
Lila Darkmatter: they compliment one another, thank one another...
Lila Darkmatter: I felt overwhelmed in a good way and completely bereft in another
Lila Darkmatter: :)
Lila Darkmatter: Ack... just realized my being here is keeping you up - and sleep is muy importante'..so I'll wish you some
Wol Euler: not at all :) talk is also very important
Lila Darkmatter: and I'll try to sing your heat song back to you if you need to remember that that in days to come
Wol Euler: I've missed talking to you
Lila Darkmatter: :) Thanks... me too
Wol Euler smiles.
Lila Darkmatter: life is so busy these days
Wol Euler: yeah
Lila Darkmatter: heart* lol - just reading what I typed
Lila Darkmatter: wonder what a heat song is... giggle
Wol Euler: hehehe, I'd read right across that
Wol Euler: as one does
Wol Euler: *as most do
Lila Darkmatter: but I really should go... and you should sleep a little. I'll try to have insomnia again soon
Wol Euler: awwwww <3
Lila Darkmatter: :)
Wol Euler: thank you, lila
Wol Euler: lovely to see you again
Wol Euler: take care
Lila Darkmatter: have a wonderful day and be nice to you
Lila Darkmatter: bfn, take care
Wol Euler: bye!