2013.09.08 07:00 - holding the intention of kindness

The Guardian for this meeting was Bleu Oleander. The comments are by Bleu Oleander.

DR42 Resident: 's current display-name is "Marjorie Chardin".
DR42 Resident: ηαмαѕтє
Bleu Oleander: 's current display-name is "Bleu".
Bleu Oleander: hiya Maude
Bleu Oleander: how r u?
DR42 Resident: Doing well. You?
Bleu Oleander: pretty good thanks :)
Bleu Oleander: have there been many conversations on this weeks topic?
DR42 Resident: Not really, mostly just chat.
Bleu Oleander: do you think people like having the topics?
DR42 Resident: Yes, but I am at a loss for what would be an engaging topic.
Bleu Oleander: well today at the guardian mtg we will come up with 2 more :)
--BELL--

Catrinamonblue Resident: 's current display-name is "Catrinamonblue".
DR42 Resident: Hi Cat
Bleu Oleander: hi Cat :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: hi guys :)
Bleu Oleander: how's your weekend going?
Catrinamonblue Resident: been busy :) have a friend coming by this afternoon for a visit :)
Bleu Oleander: nice :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bleu Oleander: have you thought much about this week's topic?
Catrinamonblue Resident: intention of kindness, have though of it as a reverse of holding anger
Bleu Oleander: ah interesting
Catrinamonblue Resident: when you let go the negative only the positive remains and softens your view of those around you
Bleu Oleander: softens ... interesting word
Catrinamonblue Resident: anger is a hard edge you keep between yourself and the world in order to not be hurt
Bleu Oleander: is anger ever justified?
Catrinamonblue Resident: not that I have seen
Catrinamonblue Resident: it seems to get in the way of understanding
Bleu Oleander: I find sometimes I do get angry by injustice and it may jumpstart me to some action which then might lead to understanding
Bleu Oleander: understanding is not always the first response, although one hopes it would be
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
Bleu Oleander: a subject could be what leads to understanding?
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
Bleu Oleander: different pathways
Bleu Oleander: is understanding a first response?
Catrinamonblue Resident: maybe sustained anger is a block where initial anger is more a compassion response?
Bleu Oleander: yes I think so
--BELL--

Catrinamonblue Resident: understanding comes I think when anger moves to compassion
Bleu Oleander: hi Kori :)
Korel Laloix: Bozho
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Kori :)
Korel Laloix: Bleu you are not looking nearly as Blue as Marjorie today... smiles
Bleu Oleander: lol
Korel Laloix: That was not meant to be unkind.... grins
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bleu Oleander: ur right I should be more blue haha
DR42 Resident: Yes, I am blue... :)
Korel Laloix: I know the feeling...frowns
Korel Laloix: SL is being very strange to me today.
Korel Laloix: Marjorie looks like you are pulsing
Korel Laloix: Cat is all angular... strange.
Bleu Oleander: hey Steve
stevenaia Michinaga: morning
Bleu Oleander: looking gorgeous today as always
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Steve beautiful dress :)
Korel Laloix: And a lot of things red eventhough I don't have Hightlight Transparent on.
Korel Laloix: heya
Bleu Oleander: perhaps need to relog Kori?
stevenaia Michinaga: thank you, my personal shopper strikes again
Korel Laloix: Think I might redownload Pheonix.. it is being just odd.
Korel Laloix: Was doing this earlier today when I was on as well.
Bleu Oleander: that not good!
Bleu Oleander: who is your personal shopper?
Korel Laloix: Just going to look for the current best version.
Korel Laloix: Personall shoppper?.. that takes all the fun out of it.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: not if you dislike shopping
Korel Laloix: One of the best things about SL is the shopping cheap.
Korel Laloix: reinstalling.. brb
Bleu Oleander: kk
stevenaia Michinaga: well for some the act of shopping for certain things (like clothes) seems like a distraction
Bleu Oleander: can be fun to design your own though
stevenaia Michinaga: and in my case a frustration
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, you excel at that bleu
Bleu Oleander: it's mostly self defense ... don't like shopping either :)
stevenaia Michinaga: nice
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: building is much more satisfying
Bleu Oleander: fun also
DR42 Resident: Stevenaia, what does your tag mean?
stevenaia Michinaga: ...looks up, I am wearing my IChing tag
stevenaia Michinaga: seems to match my komono
DR42 Resident: TY
stevenaia Michinaga: not exactly sure what it mean specifically
Lovertje Blinker: 's current display-name is "Lotus".
stevenaia Michinaga: although chinese characters usually tell as story in addition to being "words"
Catrinamonblue Resident: wb Korel :)
Korel Laloix: heya
Bleu Oleander: better Kori?
stevenaia Michinaga: wb Korel
Bleu Oleander: hi Lotus
Bleu Oleander: come join us
Korel Laloix: Yes... still have the red issue though.. probably a setting thing.
Lovertje Blinker: 's current display-name is "Lotus".
Bleu Oleander: have u been here before?
Lovertje Blinker: i was figure out how i get this landmark
Lovertje Blinker: maybe sunshine give me
--BELL--

Bleu Oleander: ah yes our Sunji :)
Bleu Oleander: just to let you know Lotus, we record sessions here and place them on our public wiki... is it okay to include your name and comments?
Bleu Oleander: earlier we were talking about kindness and understanding
Bleu Oleander: our theme this week was intention of kindness
Lovertje Blinker: ok :)
Bleu Oleander: thank you :)
Korel Laloix: SL is not being kind to me at the moment... is that intentional?
Bleu Oleander: haha
stevenaia Michinaga: was thinking after our conversation at the 7:00 session is... what do you do when kindness is misunderstood and not taken as delivered?
Bleu Oleander: unintentional unkindness lol
Bleu Oleander: good question Steve
Lovertje Blinker: sometime it can be small and little without words "just a smile "
Korel Laloix: It is hard to accept constructive criticism as kindness.
Bleu Oleander: one person's idea of kindness can be different than anothers?
Catrinamonblue Resident: there is nothing you can do, the others reaction is their own and nothing can change that but them really, only thing I could see would be to leave alone
Bleu Oleander: is there a universal "kindness"?
Catrinamonblue Resident: sometimes leaving alone is a kindness
Korel Laloix: Sometimes slapping someone back to the senses is kindness as well.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Korel Laloix: THere are some very strange lines that we draw I think.
Bleu Oleander: or taking a different tack maybe
Lovertje Blinker: Help whenever you can, and be sure to expect nothing in return.
Bleu Oleander: nice :)
Korel Laloix: Intentions has a lot ot do with it I think.
Catrinamonblue Resident: I wonder if that's part of it, expectations, that we place on our intentions
Bleu Oleander: not always apparent the best way to help
Lovertje Blinker: lucky we are human and can make faults and later do what feels good in our hearts and soul
Korel Laloix: I think we are more apt to take constructive input if we are aware that it will not benifit the suggestor.
Korel Laloix: And we do express kindness in different ways to different sorts of people.
Korel Laloix: Young vs old
Korel Laloix: Family vs not
Korel Laloix: etc
Bleu Oleander: resiprocity?
Bleu Oleander: what about mutual kindness?
Korel Laloix looks up word
Bleu Oleander: hehe
stevenaia Michinaga: my sense of best intentions of my kindness may not be how you see those directed intentions, the "intention" delemma
Bleu Oleander: kindness leading to more kindness
Lovertje Blinker: love
Bleu Oleander: exactly
Lovertje Blinker: for us self and then later for others too
Bleu Oleander: kindness is contagious
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, so is love
Bleu Oleander: yes
Korel Laloix: so is unkindness unfortunatly
Bleu Oleander: right so intention is important then
Bleu Oleander: a good start anyway
Lovertje Blinker: but maby the just can not help it because they never learn ore feel it
Lovertje Blinker: and in that we can help that feel it and give our best intentions to help
Bleu Oleander: feel it ourselves and teach by our example?
Lovertje Blinker: we can only be ourself and do what is good for us
Lovertje Blinker: and maybe we help another with it
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Lovertje Blinker: we show they feel and make a chooise of there own
Korel Laloix: But sometimes we are kind to others at the expense of ourselves.. and that is perfectly OK.
stevenaia Michinaga: so before intentions there needs to be some degree of trust of the person delivering the kindness so you can believe it is true
--BELL--

Korel Laloix: On at least non-suspision...I hear a lot of alarm bells when a guy offers some form of kindness and I don't know him sometimes.
Korel Laloix: But I have been conditioned to think that way.
Bleu Oleander: ah so know your "kindness giver" :)
Bleu Oleander: your trust may have been hurt?
Lovertje Blinker: hello Breezer
Bleu Oleander: hello Breezer
stevenaia Michinaga: hello Breezer
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Breezer :)
Breezer Tomsen: hello :-)
Bleu Oleander: have you been here before?
stevenaia Michinaga: wb Korel
Breezer Tomsen: yes serveral times
Bleu Oleander: ok welcome back :)
Breezer Tomsen: thnks
Bleu Oleander: we are talking about kindness
Bleu Oleander: and holding an intention of kindness
Breezer Tomsen: ah ok that is a very beautiful subject
Bleu Oleander: indeed

Bleu Oleander: so perhaps we can all leave this session holding an intention of kindness?
Bleu Oleander: see how long we can hold it?

Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Lovertje Blinker: i go be kind for meself now and sleep an hour :)
Lovertje Blinker: nice to meet you all maybe till next time
Bleu Oleander: :) Lotus
Bleu Oleander: nice to meet you
Bleu Oleander: take care and sleep well
Catrinamonblue Resident: have a good sleep Lotus :)
Lovertje Blinker: same :)
Lovertje Blinker: bye <3
Breezer Tomsen: bye lotus

Bleu Oleander: perhaps too we can watch what interrupts our intention for kindness?

Bleu Oleander: and then what brings it back?
Breezer Tomsen: impatience for me I guess
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
Bleu Oleander: quick judgement perhaps?
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, I see it on the road many times
Bleu Oleander: preconceived ideas, biases
stevenaia Michinaga: yes so much is gained by slowing down, in patience, judgement
Bleu Oleander: unconscious biases even

Bleu Oleander: interesting research here: https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/
Bleu Oleander: revealing to take the tests
Bleu Oleander: perhaps some of these hidden biases get in the way of kindness?

stevenaia Michinaga: adds that to todays activities, thanks bleu
Bleu Oleander: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: ty Bleu :) looks interesting
Bleu Oleander: its very interesting
Catrinamonblue Resident: going to mossy over for the meeting now :)
Bleu Oleander: ok thanks all for coming
Bleu Oleander: take care
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Breezer Tomsen: thank you bye bye
Bleu Oleander: bye bye
stevenaia Michinaga: nice seeing you Breezer
Breezer Tomsen: thnks stevenaia bit short but maybe longer next time
Breezer Tomsen: have a nice day
Breezer Tomsen: bye bye