The Guardian for this meeting was Santoshima Resident. The comments are by Santoshima Resident.

Santoshima Resident: 's current display-name is "San".
Catrinamonblue Resident: 's current display-name is "Catrinamonblue".
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi San :)

— BELL —

Santoshima Resident: hi Cast

Santoshima Resident: this veiwer locks up a lot for me
Santoshima Resident: so if i delay in reply, that is why
Catrinamonblue Resident: oh dear :(
Catrinamonblue Resident: that's ok
Santoshima Resident: how're you?
Catrinamonblue Resident: tired but doing well
Catrinamonblue Resident: u?
Santoshima Resident: hmm, not tired and doing ok

Santoshima Resident: let's see what's on the old discussion slate for today, shall we?
Santoshima Resident: brb, though, making tea
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Santoshima Resident: ok, done

Santoshima Resident: so, the prescription is .... Equanimity ... but we can skirt that topic,
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Santoshima Resident: really, anything we discuss will be linked to that
Santoshima Resident: in some degree

Santoshima Resident: what's new?
Santoshima Resident: for you?
Catrinamonblue Resident: just shelled out 130 for my daughters university application :)
Santoshima Resident: why are you tired?
Santoshima Resident: 130 what?
Catrinamonblue Resident: $
Santoshima Resident: oh, bucks
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: tired is because I seem to be tired all the time now a days
Santoshima Resident: oh, are you getting enough rest?
Catrinamonblue Resident: my not so nice friend insomnia which I suffer with from time to time
Santoshima Resident: so you don't get to sleep?
Catrinamonblue Resident: I can usually fall asleep but wake up a few hours later and can't get back to sleep for some time then sleep again for only a few hours, not restful sleep
Santoshima Resident: oh,
Catrinamonblue Resident: comes from having a busy mind that doesn't like to drop things :)
Santoshima Resident: i see
Santoshima Resident: hmm,
Santoshima Resident: maybe other factors
Catrinamonblue Resident: well yes there always are other things

Catrinamonblue Resident: I like this week's topic because I have been trying hard the last few weeks to find a balance
Catrinamonblue Resident: between the pain and finding some happiness
Santoshima Resident: balanced mind
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
Santoshima Resident: happiness is not so much the issue
Santoshima Resident: imho
Catrinamonblue Resident: well finding moments of peace shall we say
Catrinamonblue Resident: trying to let the pain go

Santoshima Resident: *** trying to not be dizzy from stuck camera ....
Santoshima Resident: helpp!

Santoshima Resident: phew
Catrinamonblue Resident: lol :)

Santoshima Resident: peace comes from an equanimous mind?
Santoshima Resident: or an equanimous mind is the result of being peace?
Santoshima Resident: or the same thing
Santoshima Resident: peaceful mind is an equanimous mind
Santoshima Resident: interrupt me, please, someone
Catrinamonblue Resident: lol :)

Aphrodite Macbain: hello
Santoshima Resident: hello Aphrodite

— BELL —

Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi aPH
Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
Catrinamonblue Resident: silly caps lock :)
Aphrodite Macbain: I am not sure whether an equanamous mind is necssarily a peaceful mind
Catrinamonblue Resident: letting go of pain is hard, as is finding those moments of peace
Santoshima Resident: well, what are you sure of
Aphrodite Macbain: not much
Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
Santoshima Resident: maybe neither is hard, Cat
Santoshima Resident: was asking you, Aph
Aphrodite Macbain: ?
Santoshima Resident: ok
Santoshima Resident: hang on
Santoshima Resident: viewer is very slow
Santoshima Resident: just a sec
Aphrodite Macbain: equanamous is to be balanced
Santoshima Resident: [13:16] Aphrodite Macbain: I am not sure whether an equanamous mind is necssarily a peaceful mind
Aphrodite Macbain: but sometimes the fulcrum is not peace
Santoshima Resident: so what are you sure of?
Catrinamonblue Resident: happiness is not possible right now
Aphrodite Macbain: I answered: not much
Catrinamonblue Resident: but maybe moments of peace are
Catrinamonblue Resident: at least for me
Aphrodite Macbain: yes
Aphrodite Macbain: letting things go can lead to peace
Catrinamonblue Resident: letting the univese take it's own direction
Catrinamonblue Resident: and not force it
Aphrodite Macbain: both clinging and aversion
Aphrodite Macbain: letting go of both
Aphrodite Macbain: wish I could

Santoshima Resident: ok, so you suggested this topic as i recall, Aph
Santoshima Resident: what was your reason
Catrinamonblue Resident: wish we all could
Santoshima Resident: just to put it into a non-hypothetical realm
Santoshima Resident: generally
Aphrodite Macbain: I didn't suggest it recently - I did about 6 months ago
Aphrodite Macbain: yes
Santoshima Resident: really?
Santoshima Resident: i was at the recent mtg ...
Aphrodite Macbain: I was thinking about clinging and aversion
Santoshima Resident: ... thought it was you,
Santoshima Resident: wanting to delve into the topic again
Santoshima Resident: ok
Santoshima Resident: i see
Aphrodite Macbain: back then, and how it is hard for me to be neutral about things.
Aphrodite Macbain: How I always seem to have a position on things
Santoshima Resident: oh, i see
Santoshima Resident: like what?

Aphrodite Macbain: how hard it is for me to be detached
Santoshima Resident: good bad?
Santoshima Resident: happy sad?
Aphrodite Macbain: those are moods
Santoshima Resident: detatched in what way?
Aphrodite Macbain: that result from not being equanamous
Santoshima Resident: well i'm coaxing for your words
Santoshima Resident: i see
Catrinamonblue Resident: it's hard not to cling when our world in in turmoil

Santoshima Resident: so
Aphrodite Macbain: I have an especially hard time not clinging to certain things
Santoshima Resident: how does one encourage an equanimous mind?
Santoshima Resident: develop?
Santoshima Resident: embrace?
Aphrodite Macbain: good question
Santoshima Resident: however you'd like to verb that question ...

Aphrodite Macbain: I think, maybe, it helps to take a wider view of things
Catrinamonblue Resident: talking to other people, getting another view point, therapy can help with dealing with feeling clingy
Aphrodite Macbain: yes Cat
Santoshima Resident: i see
Catrinamonblue Resident: that is what I'm trying to do now
Catrinamonblue Resident: sometimes you just have to let go and trust the universe

Aphrodite Macbain: when I stop focussing on myself and start to see the bigger picture- without me in the centre, it sometimes helps
Catrinamonblue Resident: lag :) my sentences came in reverse order

Santoshima Resident: ah, are we each ever not in the centre of our own picture?
Santoshima Resident: np, cat
Aphrodite Macbain: I dont know San
Aphrodite Macbain: we can try to look outwards rather than inwards
Aphrodite Macbain: focusing on others and their needs
Santoshima Resident: hmmm
Aphrodite Macbain: not taking things personally
Santoshima Resident: focussing in what way?
Aphrodite Macbain: listening to them
Aphrodite Macbain: paying attention
Catrinamonblue Resident: sometimes when we look only at ourselves we hurt others without realizing it
Santoshima Resident: true
Aphrodite Macbain: trying to empathise and be compassionate
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
Catrinamonblue Resident: I am trying
Catrinamonblue Resident: giving time
Aphrodite Macbain: me too :-)
Santoshima Resident: listening empathically, i see
Catrinamonblue Resident: and space to those who need
Aphrodite Macbain: yes!

Aphrodite Macbain: What do you think San?
Catrinamonblue Resident: even though it still hurts
Santoshima Resident: about what specifically, Aph?
Aphrodite Macbain: answers to your questions-
Aphrodite Macbain: are we each ever not in the centre of our own picture?
Santoshima Resident: we are each a universe

— BELL —

Santoshima Resident: and we can never really know the experiences of the others' lives
Santoshima Resident: we are here (embodied) for each other
Santoshima Resident: imo
Aphrodite Macbain: I agree, but we can try
Santoshima Resident: not finished
Santoshima Resident: you asked
Aphrodite Macbain: listens
Santoshima Resident: there is a kind of rushedness at pab
Santoshima Resident: a kind of drive to speak
Santoshima Resident: and that is not something that i am very strong at
Aphrodite Macbain: You have been asking a lot of good questions
Catrinamonblue Resident: we are ever in a hurry to be heard, I'm guilty of that :)
Santoshima Resident: "i remember I'm only here for you" —Ferron
Santoshima Resident: true cat
Santoshima Resident: but we can encourage and support each other
Santoshima Resident: in trying to bring each our best selves forward
Santoshima Resident: can we do that?
Santoshima Resident: so that we can encourage peace and equanimity in ourselves and for each other
Santoshima Resident: that's what i think
Santoshima Resident: ty
Catrinamonblue Resident: so very true San ty

Aphrodite Macbain: how?
Santoshima Resident: whatever way that might take
Santoshima Resident: that requires skill, care, love, generosity
Aphrodite Macbain: and perhaps compassion
Santoshima Resident: ability to listen, as you mentioned, aph
Santoshima Resident: to remember that we're only here for a short time of our life
Santoshima Resident: that everyone suffers in some way
Catrinamonblue Resident: San you are beautiful and wise ty
Santoshima Resident: and very grumpy and nasty at times
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Santoshima Resident: i'm gald to be here with yo both
Santoshima Resident: it's gald = glad
Santoshima Resident: yo = you :)
Aphrodite Macbain: lol
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Aphrodite Macbain: I understood :-)
Santoshima Resident: :)

Aphrodite Macbain: How can we make this pavilion a safe place to speak and share?
Aphrodite Macbain: What techniques? what approaches
Catrinamonblue Resident: acceptance and love
Santoshima Resident: from my perspective: by being consistent, by listening, and speaking respectfully
Santoshima Resident: i've seen how skillful some people are here (present company included)
Santoshima Resident: and that is such a great teaching; i learn a lot here from how people respond to each other
Aphrodite Macbain: can you tell me about consistency? I'm not sure what you mean
Santoshima Resident: and how i respond to that.
Santoshima Resident: show up
Santoshima Resident: show respect and kindness to each person
Santoshima Resident: no matter how difficult the exchange
Catrinamonblue Resident: Compassion
Aphrodite Macbain: That is easier to do when one is equanamous!
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes I know but I'm learning
Santoshima Resident: i believe that would define equanimity
Aphrodite Macbain: yes
Santoshima Resident: not a static situation
Santoshima Resident: but a situation of flux and flow
Aphrodite Macbain: no, ever balancing
Santoshima Resident: yes
Aphrodite Macbain: emotional intelligence fits here somewhere
Santoshima Resident: like standing on one's own head
Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
Santoshima Resident: how to maintain balance when your world is upside down
Aphrodite Macbain: nice metaphor

Catrinamonblue Resident: tiredness has finally got the better of me, I'm going to lay down a bit before dinner. bye guys
Aphrodite Macbain: Bye Cat. Take care of yourself
Santoshima Resident: rest well, Cat ~ so good to talk with you
Catrinamonblue Resident: ty :)

Aphrodite Macbain: pretty dress
Santoshima Resident: :)

Santoshima Resident: how are you after your epic day of theatre, Aph?
Aphrodite Macbain: I get happy when we have a beautiful day like today
Santoshima Resident: yes!!
Santoshima Resident: it's lovely

— BELL —

Aphrodite Macbain: I am feeling good right now. My mood shifts very easily, sometimes for no apparent reason. But I notice when I see sun I get happier, I have more energy. I have been cleaning house all morning and working in the garden- which always makes me content..
Aphrodite Macbain: How's your garden?
Santoshima Resident: bamboo is my garden
Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
Santoshima Resident: doing well
Santoshima Resident: :)
Eliza Madrigal: 's current display-name is "Eliza".
Aphrodite Macbain: bambooooo
Santoshima Resident: also find that working in the garden cheers
Aphrodite Macbain: love that word

Santoshima Resident: hi Eliza :)
Aphrodite Macbain: Hello Eliza
Eliza Madrigal: Hello ladies :)
Aphrodite Macbain: we are talking about our moods and what makes them better
Eliza Madrigal: sorry to be so late, will listen
Aphrodite Macbain: like sunshine and gardening
Eliza Madrigal: nice topic

Aphrodite Macbain: what makes us equanamous?
Santoshima Resident: nothing

Santoshima Resident: we choose
Aphrodite Macbain: so we make us equanamous
Aphrodite Macbain: or try to
Santoshima Resident: we can nurture that kind of mind, as much as we can nurture a fruitful garden
Santoshima Resident: same
Aphrodite Macbain: San- I know in theory we choose to feel or react in a certain way - but it is hard. The feelings come instantaneously
Santoshima Resident: good to notice!
Aphrodite Macbain: like a button is pushed
Aphrodite Macbain: then I have a choice on acting on that feeling. But the feeling still remains.
Santoshima Resident: i see
Santoshima Resident: and then what?
Aphrodite Macbain: It courses thru my veins
Santoshima Resident: oh
Aphrodite Macbain: my heart beats fast
Santoshima Resident: an intense feeling
Aphrodite Macbain: I feel angry or sad or happy
Aphrodite Macbain: yes
Aphrodite Macbain: but eventually it passes
Santoshima Resident: hmm, the range is what it is, and it eventually passes
Santoshima Resident: also good to recognize
Aphrodite Macbain: yes

Aphrodite Macbain: I have no problems recognizing it. It's making it go away (in some cases) that I cant do
Santoshima Resident: go away?
Santoshima Resident: how to work with strong emotions? is that your question?
Aphrodite Macbain: Eliza? What do you do when you are hit by a strong emotion. Yes San
Eliza Madrigal: I used to think in terms of feeding or starving them, but realized that was a bit brutal
Eliza Madrigal: I suppose there is a bit of a toolbox....

Eliza Madrigal: like "it is then that like a log you should remain"

Aphrodite Macbain: ?
Santoshima Resident: yes, we'll call it skillful means
Eliza Madrigal: Pema Chodron has these teachings on Santideva and gives that image
Aphrodite Macbain: right
Eliza Madrigal: yes
Santoshima Resident: maybe one dances, runs, breathes, sits quietly

Eliza Madrigal: but I think of skillful means as arising spontaneously
Aphrodite Macbain: brb phone
Eliza Madrigal: like paramitas

Eliza Madrigal: I do busy work, I guess ... mundane tasks I find therapeutic
Santoshima Resident: cleaning house works well for me
Eliza Madrigal nods ... feels to make a tangible difference
Santoshima Resident: yes
Eliza Madrigal: my great grandmother was a wonderful gardener but I don't seem to have that gift
Eliza Madrigal: she said that putting her hands in the earth made everything better
Santoshima Resident: oh, right!

— BELL —

Eliza Madrigal: it occurs to me that my sense is of laying like a log being a kind of humility ... grounding ... then skillful means arising spontaneously from that surrender ... but can be difficult to wrestle to remain still

Santoshima Resident: thanks for this conversation ~ needing to get back to tasks ~ bye for now
Santoshima Resident: oh, yes, sorry Eliza,
Eliza Madrigal: okay thanks San
Eliza Madrigal: enjoy
Santoshima Resident: i like what you say! peaceful day to you both
Aphrodite Macbain: bye
Eliza Madrigal: wb Aph... in time to say bye :)
Aphrodite Macbain: byee
Aphrodite Macbain: on phone
Aphrodite Macbain: hug
Eliza Madrigal waves warmly
Aphrodite Macbain: x 2
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Aphrodite Macbain: byy

— 30 —