2013.09.14 01:00 - Beating ourselves up

Wol Euler was guardian for this wide-ranging session.

Wol Euler: good morning, carl
carlicann Resident: Hiya Wol!
carlicann Resident: Been talking to Cosmic Mixmaster on IM...
Wol Euler: ah .)
Wol Euler: well, carry on. I just got out of bed, haven't even made coffee or been to the bathroom yet :)
Wol Euler: brb
carlicann Resident: gave Cosmic the option of joining us
carlicann Resident: he's coming... and doing RL too
carlicann Resident: he's on the sim.... not on radar yet
Wol Euler: okay :)
carlicann Resident: Hiya Cosmic... welcome
Cosmic Mixmaster: hi, thank you
carlicann Resident: this group meets 1a 7a 1p and 7pm SLT every day
Wol Euler: hello cosmic
Wol Euler: let me give you a notecard about us :)
Cosmic Mixmaster: hello there
carlicann Resident: the goal as I understand it is "Presencing" .... being in the moment.. and understanding who we really are... once we arrive in the now
Wol Euler smiles.
Wol Euler: well, there are many goals, some official and some personal
Wol Euler: and sometimes we just meet here to chat :) Friday 1pm is traditionally a silly session
Wol Euler: the 7pm sessions are usually more serious and thoughtful

--BELL--

carlicann Resident: I've not been a regular lately... partly because I don't just want to spend time chatting... and not growing
carlicann Resident: spiritually and intellectually
Wol Euler nods.
carlicann Resident: 90 secs is a longgggg time lol
Wol Euler: cosmic, we record these sessions (even the silly ones) and post them on our website http://wiki.playasbeing.org/ so that absent members can read what was said
Wol Euler: may we have your permission to incude your SL name and your comments in the published log?
carlicann Resident: he's busy in RL... he plans to be passive listener today
Wol Euler: hmmmm, we do need his permission if he actually says anything, it's in the Terms of Service ...
Wol Euler: perhaps I'll just rename him for the log
carlicann Resident: kk
carlicann Resident: I met Cosmic over on Nirvana region... in the meditation place... he's a fabulous musician... gave me and a friend a terrific concert
Wol Euler smiles.
carlicann Resident: Well the question I had in mind was... why is it human nature to beat ourselves up? to hold lower opinions of ourselves that most of our peers in RL
Cosmic Mixmaster: yes its fine
Wol Euler: thank you!
Cosmic Mixmaster: sorry its dinner time here
Wol Euler: no worries :) many people do come just to listen, that is fine
carlicann Resident: course family helps to reinforce our low self esteem
Wol Euler: we aren't a philosophy group, there is no requirement to Have Big Thoughts And Share Them
Wol Euler: great t-shirt, by the way :)
Wol Euler: (coffee is ready, I'll grab a cup and be with you)
carlicann Resident: this is a good example of ppls "not" being present lol
Cosmic Mixmaster: fully present in ultimate reality please waiter
Wol Euler: :-P
Wol Euler: so, yes, Carl's question. It's a big one.
Wol Euler: I think it's probably true of most of us, that we judge ourselves unfairly. We are far harder on ourselves tahn on others
carlicann Resident: maybe it's part of normal psychology.... keeps us in check.... not taking too many risks... or at least in my case that's the role it plays
Wol Euler: I certainly am :) I say things to myself that I would never dream of thinking of somebody else
Wol Euler: some of these are internalized voices from our past experience. The voice that tells me "you'll never understand this" when I get frustrated at something new, is the voice of my 4th grade math teacher
Wol Euler: literally
carlicann Resident: It makes me angry at myself... when I say such things... how could I treat myself so shabily... it's horrid and abusive
Wol Euler: I realized this in my mid-twenties :)
Wol Euler nods.
Wol Euler: perhaps there is a positive spin on it? forcing ourselves to do better than others
Wol Euler: either for ego gratification (not so positive) or to keep us growing
carlicann Resident: makes me wonder... is there another way... to have inner discipline without being inwardly abusive?
carlicann Resident: well I don't like it
Cosmic Mixmaster: what do you 's think of conscious hypnosis
Wol Euler: you shouldn't, carl :) that is right

--BELL--

carlicann Resident: it's a bad model for the world... if we subconciously exercise self-control... with psychological self abuse...
carlicann Resident: then we tend to think that's how everything should be controlled
carlicann Resident: conscious hypnosis.... a meditative state
Cosmic Mixmaster: i think all of life is a meditation
carlicann Resident: indeed ideally life is meditation
Cosmic Mixmaster: question is do you have to think the word that does not compute * like a white light warrior to sustain a highly evolved level of consciousness
carlicann Resident: a mantra
carlicann Resident: a mantra is a tool... I have no problems with tools
Wol Euler: ideally one would live in meditation, rather than doing meditation
Cosmic Mixmaster: ive heard two main circut travellors talk about saying that does not compute when presented with lower self talking
Wol Euler: but that is a pretty high-level ideal :)
carlicann Resident: well I think it's achievable at some level...
Wol Euler: sure :)
Cosmic Mixmaster: for the lower self and the mask it wears is both self consciousness and uncoscious
Wol Euler: meditation is a moment or twenty of mindfulness
Wol Euler: anything done mindfully can be meditation
carlicann Resident: do the mala .. saying your mantra... then that has a momentum... an inertia... that keeps going for many hours
Wol Euler nods.
Cosmic Mixmaster: conscious hypnosis would mean no more complaining
carlicann Resident: interesting.... also ur prior comment about the cirtuit travelers... things worth trying and investigating
Cosmic Mixmaster: yes one the teachers came from the sedona method
Cosmic Mixmaster: and the other is neale walsche author of the book conversations with god
carlicann Resident: I've tried prayer meditation... and also designing my own mantras... ie. "assertions" ... everything works... fundamentally... but does that buy happiness?
Cosmic Mixmaster: i believe my father also incorperated it into his course the art of caring
Wol Euler: can you say more about that, cosmic? it's new to me
Wol Euler: ((carl, we'll come back to your question))
Cosmic Mixmaster: well it seems to be that the computer brain always says yes
Cosmic Mixmaster: and that unless we correct misperception we are fated to experience them over and over again until we choose again
carlicann Resident: right.. it's a good philosophy... we don't have to accept self-criticism... "it does not compute"
Cosmic Mixmaster: yes
Wol Euler nods.
Cosmic Mixmaster: and you can take charge of your own thinking
Wol Euler: *must* actually :)
Cosmic Mixmaster: smiles
Cosmic Mixmaster: its like the gate way awareness to awaken in reality
carlicann Resident: that's what we do here at PaB
Cosmic Mixmaster: the eternal life drug is here now
Wol Euler nods.
Cosmic Mixmaster: yet why string it out
carlicann Resident: I was kidding Cosmic earlier... talking with him is like reading a Dr. Bronner's label LOL
carlicann Resident: Sorry.... you do reveal some amazing ideas... thank you for being my friend
Wol Euler smiles.
Cosmic Mixmaster: likewise my friend
Cosmic Mixmaster: i have a big dilema on my mind
Cosmic Mixmaster: and i take drugs to fix that
Wol Euler listens.
Cosmic Mixmaster: government v's civillian on infinite upgrades

--BELL--

carlicann Resident: I've been studying mental health awareness recently... mental illness's causes are physical... not psychological... nobody would choose to suffer so deeply.... then if so... physical cures are the answer... i.e. drugs... or healing foods... massage... dance... singing...
carlicann Resident: laughing
Wol Euler nods.
carlicann Resident: What does this mean Cosmic? "government v's civillian on infinite upgrades"
Cosmic Mixmaster: it means i can fly
Cosmic Mixmaster: amongst other talents
carlicann Resident: yogic flying?
Cosmic Mixmaster: and the government does not like it
carlicann Resident: I usually fly Southwest btw heh
carlicann Resident: Federal Aviation Admin would have a problem with that ... of course... u flying about
Cosmic Mixmaster: i dont fully understand what it means but i can not talk about it much longer because its hurts alot
carlicann Resident: okay....
carlicann Resident: out of body experience.... I'm conjecturing... all things are possible... the energy is all around us... flowing through us
Cosmic Mixmaster: but apparantly i am suppose to hold a huge cermonial dance and prayer service for all of the flies who died today
Wol Euler: "huge" is relative, huge for flies might be the size of a dinner plate to us
carlicann Resident: unification with the Earth and it's inhabitants.... on a spiritual journey...
carlicann Resident: I am thinking of the book Siddhartha
carlicann Resident: a fictional life of Bhudda.... he went through many many phases... on his journey
carlicann Resident: to enlightenment
Wol Euler nods.
carlicann Resident: I've always been intriqued and enamored of Hermann Hesse's vision (the author)... that life is a series of awakenings... we are in a dream... of dreams of dreams... and waking up
Wol Euler: it is a lovely book
Wol Euler: when I was a teenager the hippies were all raving about it, so I refused to read it :) which was a waste, because I could have come to some good ideas many years earlier
carlicann Resident: if you hold a used copy by the spine... you can find the steamy hawt passages of Siddhartha more easily lol
carlicann Resident: kidding
Wol Euler: I was just wondering which translation you read :)
carlicann Resident: G*d is Laughing... the king's fool as spiritual person... kind of more my perspective on life... when times are good
Wol Euler: "God writes a lot of comedy, but he's stuck with such bad actors"
carlicann Resident: I could not track that down Wol... long time ago... lost my copy
carlicann Resident: LOL
Wol Euler: no, joking, thinking the translator had introduced sex scenes :)
Cosmic Mixmaster: i got to fix my rent box ill speak to you soon carl about karaoke
carlicann Resident: kk cya Cosmic
Wol Euler: bye cosmic, nice meeting you
Cosmic Mixmaster: later creator
carlicann Resident: we are nearing the hour anyways..
Wol Euler nods.
carlicann Resident: great discussion today Wol... thank you for convening us
Wol Euler: my pleasure
carlicann Resident: not just chit chat lol
Wol Euler: thanks for taking part
carlicann Resident: 7pm is the serious gig? kk I'll keep that in mind
carlicann Resident: have a great weekend Wol... we are off to a great start!
Wol Euler: you too, carl
carlicann Resident: Peace! Love! Harmony!
carlicann Resident: bye for now
Wol Euler: and a hardboiled egg