2008.08.09 19:00 - Interruptions

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    Stim was the guardian that night, and Doug took over him, but did not yet realize that guardians usually capture the chat log. Adelene then sent in a part that she captured, and Pema posted that part. If others have captured more, please send that to Pema and/or append the rest here.

    Adelene Dawner: ‘lo
    doug Sosa: hi. stim was sick so i am sitting in for him.
    Adelene Dawner: ah
    doug Sosa: you ok?
    Adelene Dawner chuckles, and wonders why you ask.
    doug Sosa: just polite and alwasy concerned for people.
    Adelene Dawner: I am, in fact, in a rather grumpy mood, and also trying to figure out a rather complex problem.
    Adelene Dawner: ‘lo Tahuti.
    doug Sosa: Ah, sounds like me much of the time. Hi tahuti.
    doug Sosa: I know that when i don’t understand soemthing i get grumpy.
    Tahuti Thor: hello everyone
    Tahuti Thor: hi doug
    Tahuti Thor: hi adelene
    doug Sosa: evening, at least where i am the light is fading just as in SL.
    Adelene Dawner: They’re actually unrelated, in this case - there’s a complex problem related to the grumpiness, but it’s not really mine to solve.
    doug Sosa: should I ask about the grumpy and the 9 sec?
    Adelene Dawner: And the other complex problem is not an immediate enough concern to cause grumpiness.
    Adelene Dawner sighs.
    doug Sosa: yes.
    doug Sosa: I am under the influence of the Olympic opening last night. Beautiful, and so huge and well done.
    Adelene Dawner: The cause of the grumpiness is an issue with my boyfriend. One of the quirks of my neurology is that I don’t tolerate interruptions well - I lose my train of thought alarmingly easily in those conditions, and generally can’t get it back. I’ve explained this to him, and he agreed to check before interrupting me, but he hasn’t been - at least, not to the degree that I’d consider acceptable, because it’s still causing problems on a regular basis - and we just fought about that.
    doug Sosa: does he get it and then forget?
    Adelene Dawner: That’s what he says is going on, yes.
    doug Sosa: Does he experience you protectiveness as
    a rejection?
    Adelene Dawner: I asked him “what will it take for this to be important enough to you that you remember it” and he gave me a runaround instead of an answer, and then didn’t want to let me leave the conversation because it ‘wasn’t finished’.
    Adelene Dawner is not sure what you mean by ‘protectiveness’.
    doug Sosa: Perhaps he hurts too and you need to give him something before your concentration so he can feel ok. That could help you both.
    Adelene Dawner: … … … That… has elements of making sense, but isn’t clear. Could you re-word it?
    doug Sosa: He hurts when you treat him as a disrupter. If you had a way of telling him “ok, for the next half hour, no interruptions, and, by the way, I love you and here is a kiss, and when i am done i will really rejoin you…”
    Adelene Dawner: Even taking the time to do half that is too much of an interruption for me. Even diverting my attention enough to tell him that it’s a bad time is hard.
    doug Sosa: It must be hard for him too. That is where you might make some changes.
    Adelene Dawner sighs.
    Adelene Dawner sighs again, and goes to talk to BF.
    doug Sosa: Who is BF, if I may ask?
    doug Sosa: I will need to leave at 7:30, dinner in the oven.

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