2008.08.17 01:00 - Supernova

Moon was GoC for this session however he couldn’t be on time to record it due to technical problems. Gaya is posting this log. Please add comments if willing.

Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
Wol Euler: hi

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Wol Euler: good morning, Fael
Wol Euler: I see you found the button.
Fael Illyar: Good morning Wol, Hi again Gaya :)
Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
Fael Illyar: It seems I had to make a choice first.
Gaya Ethaniel: ?
Wol Euler smiles
Fael Illyar: Well, a good lesson for not slacking with choices :P
Gaya Ethaniel: Hm... still not following sorry Fael
Wol Euler: [1:13] Fael Illyar: I was going to come but for some reason didn't manage to make my finger click on the teleport button.
Wol Euler: :-)
Gaya Ethaniel: ah
Gaya Ethaniel: So why did you come?
Fael Illyar: because I wanted to and could after making the choice I was slacking with :)
Gaya Ethaniel: ah
Wol Euler: indeed
Faenik loves wells!
Gaya Ethaniel: I didn't feel like coming... completely forgot it was Moon's GoC slot even. Must be partly because he is not online.
Gaya Ethaniel: Didn't know he is not online until I talked to Wol here. Strange

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Gaya Ethaniel: LOL here he comes
Fael Illyar: Ah, speak of the devil :)
Gaya Ethaniel laughs
Fael Illyar: Hi Moon :)
Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
Moon Fargis: uhh hello everyone, sorry im late we had a massice powerout this morning
Gaya Ethaniel: Yes guessed as much
Fael Illyar: That can't be helped then :)
Wol Euler: morning moon
Wol Euler: (back from the balcony. It really is a lovely day this is too good to miss. See you all at 7am?)
Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
Gaya Ethaniel: Enjoy your day Wol
Fael Illyar: Yes, enjoy our day, Wol :)
Moon Fargis: see you later wol
Wol Euler: bye for now

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Moon Fargis: so, what was the topic before i arrived?
Gaya Ethaniel: Hm... no topic
Moon Fargis: oh
Fael Illyar was commenting on how she didn't manage to come before she made a choice she'd been slacking with.
Gaya Ethaniel: How conscious was the choice Fael?
Fael Illyar: Very
Gaya Ethaniel: So you were aware of 'slacking' before you made that choice? How long for?
Fael Illyar: let's see
Fael Illyar: oh, just 28 minutes
Gaya Ethaniel: ah
Gaya Ethaniel: How did you feel during that time?
Fael Illyar: everything was blank on what to do. Couldn't seem to do more than just Be.
Gaya Ethaniel: Just see that you were 'slacking' but couldn't feel anything else?
Fael Illyar: well, there were thoughts about the choice every once in a while. Hence the slacking feeling :)
Gaya Ethaniel: ah
Gaya Ethaniel: When thoughts of choice came, any bodily sensations? Any changes in your body?
Fael Illyar: None that I remember.
Gaya Ethaniel: ok
Fael Illyar: just felt strange, that I suddenly I need to choose :)
Faenik: なるほど^^
Gaya Ethaniel: felt strange? Could you expand on that in details?
Fael Illyar: I get a vague idea of what each choice will do.
Gaya Ethaniel: Perhaps scenario for not coming / coming to this session may help?
Gaya Ethaniel: What made coming here overrided not coming?
Fael Illyar: too vague to put to words :)
Gaya Ethaniel: No recollection of bodily sensations that accompanied that vague feelings yet?
Fael Illyar: very slight uneasiness with both choices.
Gaya Ethaniel: ah
Gaya Ethaniel: Would you be able to go back in that moment now?
Fael Illyar: which one? making the choice moment?
Gaya Ethaniel: When there was vague feelings/uneasiness
Gaya Ethaniel: Would it be possible to re-create and be in that moment?
Fael Illyar: no, not quite but enough to be able to talk about it.
Gaya Ethaniel: ok
Gaya Ethaniel: Sounds positive somehow
Fael Illyar: this choice?
Gaya Ethaniel: No... just that more aware
Fael Illyar: It is, although it does make things more complex :)
Gaya Ethaniel: How so?
Fael Illyar: for the past week I've been mostly following what I feel like I should do.
Gaya Ethaniel nods
Fael Illyar: hmm... should again. I like that word too much :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Yes... I was getting here...
Gaya Ethaniel: Seems to me, 'making choice' could be that 'thinking process' is being built into it again...
Gaya Ethaniel: As no recollection of bodily sensations
Gaya Ethaniel: I could be wrong
Gaya Ethaniel: Because it could be that simply you are learning to see
Faenik: ah :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Only you know
Fael Illyar: Yes, and it's my task to know what it is :)
Fael Illyar: or not :)

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Moon Fargis: orange juice?
Gaya Ethaniel: Yes it's difficult for me too
Fael Illyar: Yes, orange juice :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Pls thanks Moon
Gaya Ethaniel: I'm trying to differentiate fears
Gaya Ethaniel: Those that are useful - survival instinct
Gaya Ethaniel: And those that are not...
Gaya Ethaniel: Haven't seen enough of diff bodily sensations to differentiate yet
Gaya Ethaniel: Wow... this juice is massive
Fael Illyar: no need for such differentiation, just see them and accept them.
Gaya Ethaniel: Thanks Moon
Fael Illyar: Yes, thank you :)
Moon Fargis: ;)
Gaya Ethaniel: True... Fael
Gaya Ethaniel: I was 'thinking' again
Gaya Ethaniel edits her diary
Fael Illyar: when you see them and accept them, you can decide what to do without them controlling you.
Fael Illyar: allows you to see more clearly :)
Gaya Ethaniel nods

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Gaya Ethaniel: Last night, I thought it was someone who was making feel uneasy
Gaya Ethaniel: I knew though it was the Moon eclipse
Gaya Ethaniel: But thinking that it was something else made me almost threw up
Moon Fargis: ahhyes there was a moon eclipse..
Gaya Ethaniel nods
Fael Illyar: Yes :)
Gaya Ethaniel: I didn't know until Fael told me...
Gaya Ethaniel: But I had to go to bed in the middle of the afternoon for no apparent reasons
Fael Illyar: me too :)
Gaya Ethaniel: I went to be at the end and I didn't feel too sick
Gaya Ethaniel: You too?
Fael Illyar: Yes, I spent some time in my bed quite early for me :)
Gaya Ethaniel: I never sleep during day... unless I'm ill
Fael Illyar: but I didn't sleep
Gaya Ethaniel: right...
Gaya Ethaniel: I slept
Faenik: indeed?
Gaya Ethaniel: But something startled me from sleep and I woke up
Gaya Ethaniel: Came to PaB and found someone that I have needed to talk to for a long time
Gaya Ethaniel: Sounds all so strange to me these days... what I feel
Gaya Ethaniel: Too many coincidences to feel ok about
Faenik is a hairy black ball with eyes and ears.

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Fael Illyar: I felt a kind of pressure and went to bed and just was with it for a while until ...
Fael Illyar: I got this feeling of "enough of this, I need to do other things", felt a small "explosion" of sorts in my mind and went to make some food, wash the dishes and eat :)
Fael Illyar: the pressure returned but much less pressing
Fael Illyar: I feel it now too actually
Gaya Ethaniel: Me too...
Gaya Ethaniel: My physical heart just went blank... can't hear it at all now
Gaya Ethaniel: I got it returned... phew
Fael Illyar: Don't worry about it, it'll pass :)
Gaya Ethaniel: ok I won't force it next time
Fael Illyar: just let it be :)
Faenik: indeed?
Fael Illyar: well, not quite but ... that's the closest I can explain it :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Well letting it be is making me feel uneasy now
Moon Fargis came to the insight that we should found a psychical help center somewhere
Gaya Ethaniel laughs
Fael Illyar: Don't worry, this only happens every few years ;)
Gaya Ethaniel: In case of what Moon? Heart failure?
Gaya Ethaniel: but we had recently solar eclipse too... <sigh>
Moon Fargis: well .. maybe.. also people who feel pressure and explosion ... atleast we need a explosion room then which is easier to clean
Gaya Ethaniel laughs real loud
Fael Illyar laughs out loud as well.
Gaya Ethaniel: Yes let me know when you make one. I will sponsor it Moon
Fael Illyar: luckily, not that sort of explosion :)
Gaya Ethaniel laughs
Faenik is a hairy black ball with eyes and ears.
Gaya Ethaniel: Oh but then I've got my own pool now
Gaya Ethaniel: I can go there and explode
Fael Illyar: :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Or contain potential explosion
Gaya Ethaniel smiles
Moon Fargis: hmm exploding pools....
Gaya Ethaniel laughs
Gaya Ethaniel imagines Adams' house getting drenched by the explosion
Moon Fargis: eeeeww
Fael Illyar loves the image.
Gaya Ethaniel smiles
Gaya Ethaniel: Refreshing hey
Faenik loves wells!
Gaya Ethaniel: Sudden image - supernova...
Moon Fargis: well i think i wont support a supernova room... too much mess to clean up
Fael Illyar: :D
Gaya Ethaniel laughs
Gaya Ethaniel: Moon I'm almost falling off chair here
Moon Fargis: :) ah fael, can you handle the log posting for this pab?
Gaya Ethaniel nods
Moon Fargis: ^^
Fael Illyar: Ok :)
Gaya Ethaniel: Offloading your responsibilities Moon
Fael Illyar: Well, I offed mine to someone else yesterday :P
Gaya Ethaniel smiles
Fael Illyar: ... without asking :P
Gaya Ethaniel: Good day Moon
Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
Moon Fargis: thanks. see you soon
Fael Illyar: Ok, see you later Moon :)