2012.03.08 19:00 - Seeing and Feeling Clearly

The Guardian for this meeting was Paradise Tennant.  Participants included Korel, Zinnia and Ewan.

Paradise Tennant: hello Zinnia ..have you been to pab before ?
Paradise Tennant: smiles there is a discussion session starting ..
Paradise Tennant: normally we do 4 a day
Paradise Tennant: hiya korel :)
Korel Laloix: Heya
Paradise Tennant: what shall we talk of tonight :) been thinking of themes :)
Korel Laloix: As in the theme would be themes?
Paradise Tennant: smiles yes
Korel Laloix: OK.... like SL topic themes or like the themes of movies or lives?
Korel Laloix: I am not sure I have a complete understanding of the word.
Zinnia Gossamer: I do not really understand what this is, I just thought I would come give it a shot again.
Paradise Tennant: what ever pleases you
Paradise Tennant: whatever idea .. thought .. situation you would like to explore
Korel Laloix: Very broad topic then.
Paradise Tennant: lol
Paradise Tennant: yes
Korel Laloix: I do find when there is a theme for these discussions, they tend to go further.
Korel Laloix: But my sample size is not the great.
Paradise Tennant: yes they work better if you start with some kind of loose structure ..going to suggest maybe we could start with how shifty our perceptions are .. ..
Zinnia Gossamer: I was truthfully hoping to just listen a little again.
Korel Laloix: No worries.
Korel Laloix: I just listen a lot as well.
Paradise Tennant: smiles zinnia listening is all good :)
--BELL--
Paradise Tennant: by way of example on how quickly our perceptions can change ..
Korel Laloix: Our perceptions do change, but that is not bad I don't think.
Paradise Tennant: ever find you inter-react with someone briefly and come to a quick conclusion only to find you were missing key facts which would have spun it around completely
Korel Laloix: You always get new information, so your perspective must change.
Paradise Tennant: yes
Korel Laloix: Yes.
Korel Laloix: I tend to hold back on judgements a bit more than most... which is not really a good thing sometimes.
Paradise Tennant: yes always a good idea – holding back judgement. I often find our  perceptions judgements are kind of wispy sometimes .. you know when you try to pull them apart to understand them .. they are not based .. on as much as we think
Korel Laloix: Part of it is just a feeling.
Korel Laloix: Some people just naturally put you at ease.
Korel Laloix: Others make your skin crawl.
Paradise Tennant: yes agree  but  ultimately we know so little
Korel Laloix: But making an initial decision on how you will relate to a person is natural.
Paradise Tennant: about other people often
Korel Laloix: Like politicians.... some are very charismatic... and some people find that very agreeable.
Korel Laloix: I find great charisma to be creepy.
Zinnia Gossamer: lol
Korel Laloix: Like a used car salesman.
Paradise Tennant: it sweeps you away somehow
Korel Laloix: But that is a personal bias... my mom is very charismatic... so I naturally distrust that sort of personality.
Paradise Tennant: often think we are like little bags of chemicals some grouping don't work so well just like some combinations of chemicals lead to explosions
Korel Laloix: And once I figured out that bias... and looked at it... it actually confirmed my thoughts...
Paradise Tennant: do you think it is something she can help being ?
Korel Laloix: She likes having her way, and she is very good at manipulating people.
Korel Laloix: But I have a very strong negative feeling towards her, so my opinion is probabl not the most level.
Paradise Tennant: hmm negative feelings .. are an interesting perception ..
Paradise Tennant: when you try to stand back from them ..
Paradise Tennant: not sure how you discern between perception and the reactive emotion wrapped up in it
Korel Laloix: Yes, but a lot of the time, I find my negative impressions are more accurate than my positive ones.
Paradise Tennant: I wish I could have lent you my dad for a bit ..he would have convinced you of the opposite
Korel Laloix: I think perceptions are something like a normal distribution around the trueth.
Paradise Tennant: that if you have faith .. in people the strength of your belief in them can bring their "bestness" to the fore
Korel Laloix: Sometimes we are too positive sometimes too negative.
Korel Laloix: But there are just some naturally negative people or positive people that my skew one direction or the other a bit.
Korel Laloix: We do affect those around us for sure...
Korel Laloix: For good or bad.
Paradise Tennant: what is the down side of each .. do you think .. being too positive versus too negative
Paradise Tennant: I find negative is just hard to bare ..it is a heavy feeling ..
Paradise Tennant: wears me out
Paradise Tennant: eventually I have to let go just cannot hold on to it .
Korel Laloix: I think being too positive is being naive... but that is not necessarily a bad thing.
Paradise Tennant: same thing with anger ..cannot stay mad for long
Korel Laloix: Being too  negative is just draining.
Paradise Tennant: I think you can view people positively even in light of all their shortcomings :) we all have them
Korel Laloix: Letting go or forgiving is a very hard thing to do sometimes.. easy words to say though.
Korel Laloix: Everyone has their good points and bad.
Paradise Tennant: yes being negative is very draining.
--BELL--
Korel Laloix: But sometimes it is healthy.
Paradise Tennant: I think you can be consistently positive .. without losing sight of the grittiness .. of our imperfection :) everything we don't like about others we have in some measure ourselves .. kind of the rub .. really
Korel Laloix: In some ways yes, but being negative can be being cautious.
Korel Laloix: Not sure that language is right.
Paradise Tennant: well can be positively cautious >> and then feel better to boot :)
Paradise Tennant: I often worry that thoughts have power
Korel Laloix: The trick is knowing how to balance and not to prejudge.
Korel Laloix: Why worry about that?
Paradise Tennant: and if I think ill of someone there is some kind of effect to it
Paradise Tennant: well there is empirical evidence that prayer is effective
Paradise Tennant: people who are prayed for heal better even if they don't know about being prayed for
Korel Laloix: Well, people can become self fulfilling prophecies.
Paradise Tennant: so if the positve side works .. logically the negative side would too
Korel Laloix: I have read that before.
Korel Laloix: Not necessarily, but probably.
Korel Laloix: I do think that negative people bring groups down and the opposite.
Paradise Tennant: so I have for quite a few years now tried to discipline my thoughts .. in that sense ..
Paradise Tennant: and I find it has made me a lot happier
Korel Laloix: I tend to be happy, but some days.. I let things get to me for sure.
Paradise Tennant: If something .. bad happens I don't forget about it completely but I don't dwell on it .. we are always evolving ..
Korel Laloix: I am getting good at letting most things pass... but some things I still cling to.
Korel Laloix: Some motivate me.
Korel Laloix: Like proving my mom wrong about me..... I use that negative emotion to drive me in my school work.
Korel Laloix: So you can use negative emotions for positive gain.
Paradise Tennant: yes motivation is important
Korel Laloix: Maybe the key is the emotional energy, not the direction.
Paradise Tennant: smiles a big smile I think you are right
Korel Laloix: When you are outraged at something, you get motivated to change it.
Paradise Tennant: but the next step will not be to care what others really think ..and do what pleases you most :)
Paradise Tennant: though with family members that is so hard
Paradise Tennant: they know all your buttons
Paradise Tennant: there is such an intensity of connection
Korel Laloix: I would say no, not what pleases me most... but what does the most good for everyone around.
Korel Laloix: Intensity is a good word.
Korel Laloix: brb
Paradise Tennant: smiles it has to please you .. too . doing what is best for everyone around
Zinnia Gossamer: well Paradise, just you and me for a few then.
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Paradise Tennant: have you enjoyed the sessions you have been at ?
Zinnia Gossamer: yes.
Paradise Tennant: there can be some very good conversation here
Paradise Tennant: lots of interesting people in this group :) think you will enjoy getting to know everyone
Zinnia Gossamer: do you have any idea what I should do when i try to open a DAT file, and it just goes to Media player and then stops>
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Paradise Tennant: hmm
Paradise Tennant: not sure
Zinnia Gossamer: oh yes, I think everyone has nice conversations here. I just do not understand it all too much yet
Korel Laloix: Going to be a while... phone.... take care.
Zinnia Gossamer: delighted, Korel
Paradise Tennant: namaste korel be well
Zinnia Gossamer: anything about DLL files?
--BELL--
Paradise Tennant: smiles sorry not much of techie
Zinnia Gossamer: ok me neither
Paradise Tennant: hiya san how are you :)
Zinnia Gossamer: well it appears our timing will coincide, cuz I only have ten percent battery left now and we only have few minutes left
Paradise Tennant: smiles :)
Santoshima Resident: hi Paradise :) and zinnia, hello ~
Zinnia Gossamer: hello
Paradise Tennant: hiya ewan
Ewan Bonham: Hi Folks..:)
Paradise Tennant: would love to hear about your trip to india san do you feel like talking about it :)
Santoshima Resident: hello Ewan :)
Santoshima Resident: hmm ... what would you like to know?
Paradise Tennant: smiles the things you remember most .. the moments that made the biggest impression ;)
Santoshima Resident: I'm not really a traveller ... stayed in one place, studying
Santoshima Resident: domesticated farm animals
Santoshima Resident: making their lives in the rubble of a very urban place

Zinnia Gossamer: detroit chickens, huh?
Santoshima Resident: pigs, goats
Santoshima Resident: what are "detroit chickens"?
Santoshima Resident: salut
Paradise Tennant: namaste :)
Ewan Bonham: ooops..it seems we were 'bad company'..lol
Ewan Bonham: Just kidding..
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Ewan Bonham: Thanks for accepting the friendship..
Paradise Tennant: how are you ewan .. my pleasure :)
Ewan Bonham: I am well..
Ewan Bonham: Was a bit late tonight...sigh..
Ewan Bonham: And how are you, Para
Paradise Tennant: we have been talking of .. hmm all sorts of things the intensity of family relations .. negative and positive perceptions and the shifty nature of how we see reality :)
Paradise Tennant: smiles I am well :)
Ewan Bonham: Wow...sounds like a full hour..'
Paradise Tennant: it was :)
Ewan Bonham: Will have to make sure I am on time in the future..
Paradise Tennant: no worries -.in a way this is kind of like a village pub or cafe
--BELL--
Ewan Bonham: Smile...kind of you...but I think I will say good night and be more timely in the future...:)
Paradise Tennant: you go to regularly on your way home .. usually the same people but not always :) and it just flows with how your day has been going :)
Paradise Tennant: smiles nite nite ewan :)
Ewan Bonham: Hmmm..smile...night Para..:)