2013.01.19 07:00 - struggling with issues

The Guardian for this meeting was Xirana Oximoxi. The comments are by Xirana Oximoxi.

Catrinamonblue Resident: 's current display-name is "Catrinamonblue".
Korel Laloix: Osiyo
Catrinamonblue Resident: HI Korel
Korel Laloix: What you up to today?
Catrinamonblue Resident: not much u?
Korel Laloix: Just setteling in for some school work.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Korel Laloix: Need to get into some thing this weekend.
Catrinamonblue Resident: ?
Korel Laloix: Want to get most of the way throuhg the homework for my classes.
Catrinamonblue Resident: ah
--BELL--
Korel Laloix: I try to get that done early in the semester so I can concentrate on actually learning and writingin.
Catrinamonblue Resident: good idea
Xirana Oximoxi: 's current display-name is "Xirana".
Korel Laloix: It works for me... I am not that start, so I have to keep well ahead to really take things in.
Xirana Oximoxi: hello Korel, Cat! :-)
Catrinamonblue Resident: HI Xirana
Korel Laloix: Heya
Xirana Oximoxi: how are you?
Korel Laloix: Just using SL to procrastinate my homework... smiles
Catrinamonblue Resident: struggling with issues
Xirana Oximoxi: hehe :)
Korel Laloix: Care to share?
Catrinamonblue Resident: opening the Pandora box of my past
Xirana Oximoxi: and do you think it can do you good?....maybe opening it liberates you from past feelings...
Korel Laloix: I know that bit of akwardness... sorry you are having to do that.
Catrinamonblue Resident: have to do it no choice
Catrinamonblue Resident: the traumas of the past are ruining my present and future
Korel Laloix: I hope you have someone to work through this with.
Xirana Oximoxi: well... I am sure there's a way to avoid ruining your future
Catrinamonblue Resident: a therapist yes
Korel Laloix: Can be far better that way.
Korel Laloix: Good.
Korel Laloix: I have a really good shrink at the moment.
Xirana Oximoxi: the future is still to write
Catrinamonblue Resident: but I keep pushing people away, hurting them, in order so they do not see the bad in me
Korel Laloix: So glad you have that care.
Catrinamonblue Resident: Just wish that it wasn't so painful...sigh..... and that I would stop doing stupid things
Korel Laloix: Strange how we tend to give back the bad we received in life... but often not to the people that gave it to us in the first place.
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
Xirana Oximoxi: I guess that you beeing aware of it is a good step to change it....
Catrinamonblue Resident: being aware and changing are two different steps.. with huge lag between
Xirana Oximoxi: yes, sure
Korel Laloix: That is sooooo true.
Korel Laloix: But at least you are moving in the right direction..
Korel Laloix: Changes are slow but important as you know.
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes but will my friends stay with me through it all, event hough I keep pushing them away, this I do not know.
Xirana Oximoxi: it makes me remember the article Bleu sent to us...moment, I give the link
Xirana Oximoxi: http://nymag.com/health/self-help/20...lf-searching/#
Catrinamonblue Resident: looking
Xirana Oximoxi: how difficult is to change ourselves...and how, even if we are aware of things that we want to change, it's not easy at all to take decisions
--BELL--
Korel Laloix: I think we all need to do some self inventory from time to time.. even the parts we are comfortable with.
Xirana Oximoxi: it's very long article
Catrinamonblue Resident: got to page 2 will read the rest later
Catrinamonblue Resident: Was reading some of the old chat logs, one of the theme sessions deals with struggle.
Catrinamonblue Resident: haven't read all the way through yet but some interesting stuff there too
Xirana Oximoxi: could you say an idea or a thought you found interesting...just an exemple?
Catrinamonblue Resident: SophiaSharon Larnia: some definitions may be helpful, on what 'struggle' means Eliza Madrigal nods... great topic SophiaSharon Larnia: i can think of many right now, have to clarify what i mean by it (runs to get a pen and paper) :) Johny Weissberg: suffering ? SophiaSharon Larnia: yes that definately part of it sophia Placebo: intented suffering ? Johny Weissberg: suffering ur way out of suffering..lol
Catrinamonblue Resident: struggle is suffering your way through suffering
Catrinamonblue Resident: http://wiki.playasbeing.org/Chat_Logs/2009/10/2009.10.30_13%3a00_-_A_bit_about_culture.
Catrinamonblue Resident: here is the chat log
Xirana Oximoxi: oh! thanks :) I had a different idea about the meaning of struggle
Xirana Oximoxi: not related to suffering
Catrinamonblue Resident: there are many meaning to the word struggle
Xirana Oximoxi: but it may be also my English
Catrinamonblue Resident: this is just one interpretation
Xirana Oximoxi: yes....meaning is the subject of the week :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Xirana Oximoxi: to make an effort to change personal things may have a kind of suffering in it
Xirana Oximoxi: hello Raffi! :)
Korel Laloix: Heya
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Raffi
Raffila Millgrove: hi ladies.. all my favorites!
Raffila Millgrove: ooopsie we are being recorded. ok some of my favorites... hehe
Catrinamonblue Resident: there is pain in reliving the trauma in order to change the old automatic responses it created
Xirana Oximoxi: we are talking about how to struggle and change ourselves when we feel some feelings or memories we have are not good
Raffila Millgrove: oh. interesting idea.
Raffila Millgrove: missed you at voice yesterday Xirana. Yak's gf came! sorry to interrupt.
Xirana Oximoxi: no problem Raffi! we are just wandering through this topic :)
Raffila Millgrove: where are you? sufering trauma to get to other side?
Xirana Oximoxi: I was not there Raffi:)
Raffila Millgrove: yes we missed you!
Xirana Oximoxi: ahh ok..ty:)
Catrinamonblue Resident: I am opening my pandoras box in order to change automatic reactions created by childhood trauma, was just talking about how hard that is
Catrinamonblue Resident: I have a therapist and will be doing whats called EMDR therapy
Korel Laloix: My most noticiable thing like that is I still have a phobia of being hugged.. sends me into panic attacks.
Catrinamonblue Resident: I have panic attack too
Xirana Oximoxi: oh Korel...I remember last Saturday you have been quite hugged here :))
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Korel Laloix: In RL I would punched people.. it is that bad for me.
Korel Laloix: But getting better.
--BELL--
Korel Laloix: Something I have to deal with...
Catrinamonblue Resident: good for you korel
Korel Laloix: Well.. something to work on... so I know how you feel.
Korel Laloix: Not a pleasant or short trip.
Catrinamonblue Resident: no
Zen Arado: 's current display-name is "Zen".
Catrinamonblue Resident: not pleasant at all
Zen Arado: Hi all
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Zen
Xirana Oximoxi: I'm reading about EMDR therapy...it seems a good way to deal with this problem
Xirana Oximoxi: hello Zen
Catrinamonblue Resident: I hope so but I'm scared
Zen Arado: EMDR?
Catrinamonblue Resident: to have to relive the memory
Catrinamonblue Resident: [07:27] Catrinamonblue: I am opening my pandoras box in order to change automatic reactions created by childhood trauma, was just talking about how hard that is [07:27] Catrinamonblue: I have a therapist and will be doing whats called EMDR therapy
Xirana Oximoxi: welll, if you are with some professional teraphist no need to be scared
Catrinamonblue Resident: it's reliving the memories that I don't wish
Xirana Oximoxi: they know how to help
Xirana Oximoxi: they are prepared to help
Zen Arado: I never heard of that one
Catrinamonblue Resident: I know and you are right Xirana
Zen Arado: so many therapies
Raffila Millgrove: i just looked up EMDR.. didn't know it either. quite intersting.
Xirana Oximoxi: I give you the link I've found http://www.emdrnetwork.org/description.html
Raffila Millgrove: and seems quite safe compared to other ways to go.. no meds in it.
Zen Arado: yeh I looked it up too
Raffila Millgrove: seems like with a good trained therapist.. they are trying to be sure you have a safe place...
Raffila Millgrove: that you won't be harmed in the process of the experience. no big suffering.
Catrinamonblue Resident: the first part is reading and becoming aware that the trauma caused harm that is still affecting today
Zen Arado: http://www.scientificamerican.com/ar...-a-closer-look
Raffila Millgrove: they didn't report any bad new// bad side effects. seems an empahsis on safety.
Raffila Millgrove: that's always reassuring ...
Zen Arado: I tend to think (just my opinion) that the bottom line is facing the trauma.. and techniques can make it easier to do that by doing it gradually or by having a therapist to help
Catrinamonblue Resident: it's looking at the memories that I'm scared most of, I have buried those deep in my mind
Raffila Millgrove: yes zen.. that seems to be the core of all early childhood or ptsd treament.. to face it.. and begin recovering.. not have it control and manage you and scare you
Catrinamonblue Resident: almost forgoten
Korel Laloix: FOr me, digging up some of the worst memories was not therapeutic.... walling them off was.
Korel Laloix: But that might just be a short term solution.
Raffila Millgrove: yes. well they do it very careful.. in this treatment you will take.. so you don't get overwhelmed. i liked that part.. about your safety photo etc.. and how you are not supposed to get terrible frightened etc.. that they guide you safely.
Zen Arado: that happens in meditation merely by removing some of our usual distractions
Raffila Millgrove: yes. same idea Zen.. focus.. and stay steady.
Zen Arado: allows things to surface
Raffila Millgrove: remove the fear factor.. literally.
Catrinamonblue Resident: maybe that's why I have such a hard time with meditation, hadn't made that connection before
Zen Arado: most fears evaporate when exposed to the light
Zen Arado: they are thoughts
--BELL--
Korel Laloix: Some fears get much worse though.... proceed with caution.
Zen Arado: fear of fear
Zen Arado: nothing to fear but fear itself' as a US president remarked

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlif...otl/156/194/33

Xirana Oximoxi: this is an exhibit about 'Trauma'... maybe the artist found a way to feel better painting...
Raffila Millgrove: oh nice xiri. thank you.
Raffila Millgrove: it's ongoing?
Xirana Oximoxi: yes...I think it is still there
Xirana Oximoxi: if you click the poster you can get the lm
Catrinamonblue Resident: will look at this thank you
Xirana Oximoxi: have you ever tried to write or paint Cat, ..Korel...I've read your poem
Xirana Oximoxi: for me painting can be a kind of teraphy too
Catrinamonblue Resident: photography :)
Xirana Oximoxi: wonderful:)
Catrinamonblue Resident: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ladyjohanna456/
Catrinamonblue Resident: some of my pictures
Xirana Oximoxi: wow! very nice!!!
Catrinamonblue Resident: ty
Xirana Oximoxi: thanks for sharing the link:)
Zen Arado: nice pics
Catrinamonblue Resident: ty Zen :)
Raffila Millgrove: wow. beautiful!!!
Zen Arado: I did a painting of a butterfly like that one time
Raffila Millgrove: really... amazing.. your choices of subjects. angles etc.
Raffila Millgrove: very .. intriguing to look at. not "pretty pictures"
Xirana Oximoxi: you catch small details with your eye.... and the light is perfect to show it
Catrinamonblue Resident: I love nature but can't take pictures of people at all
Xirana Oximoxi: usually people don't like to be photographed
Raffila Millgrove: hehe. try taking photos of people with their dogs. i used to do this for my column.. and i'd say to person.. here's how it would go.. you want me to print the photo were the dog looks good or where you look good.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Raffila Millgrove: you must cannot seem to get both person and dog looking good togehter. it's so hard.
Raffila Millgrove: easier now with digital.. that helps a lot.
Xirana Oximoxi: hehe Raffi! :-)
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
Raffila Millgrove: still photoing dogs is not my idea of a fun day.
Zen Arado: yeh so hards to get photos of dogs
Raffila Millgrove: i did a lot cause i love dogs and i was always interviewing people with dogs.
Zen Arado: there are tricks for photographing dogs
Raffila Millgrove: i even went to a dog birthday party and printed a great recipe for making your dog a safe nice birhtday cake for him and his friends.
Zen Arado: shout then when they look take photo
Xirana Oximoxi: lol...I have never been to a dog's birthday party:)) ..not really normal here
Raffila Millgrove: everyone loved the dog bithday party. it was actually given by my son. i wonder if i mentioned that. probably not.
Catrinamonblue Resident: lovely Raffia
Raffila Millgrove: he used to say that he wanted everyone to bring their dogs to his wedding. we probably like dogs better than people.
Zen Arado: dog loving nations
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Zen Arado: yet some countries they roam in packs on the streets
Zen Arado: some countries they even eat them I think
Xirana Oximoxi: my dog is absolutly 'territorial...if another dog comes here there will be a fight for sure
Zen Arado: my dog didn't let anyone near me :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: I grew up with dogs but we don't have one right now, just cats :)
Xirana Oximoxi: it can be a problem...but it is in their nature
--BELL--
Xirana Oximoxi: lol Zen.. you were well protected:)
Raffila Millgrove: oh ty for hosting us.. whoever our host was...
Raffila Millgrove smiles.
Zen Arado: byee Raffi
Catrinamonblue Resident: bye Raffi
Xirana Oximoxi: bye bye Raffi!
Raffila Millgrove: ah xiri.. thank you. see you all soon. tc.
Korel Laloix: ciao
Xirana Oximoxi: I will go too...see you soon! and have a nice day!! :-)
Zen Arado: kk me too
Catrinamonblue Resident: bye Xira, Zen
Zen Arado: byee everyone
Catrinamonblue Resident: ty so much
Xirana Oximoxi: bye bye tc
Xirana Oximoxi: yw, thanks for coming and sharing... I always learn here :)
Xirana Oximoxi: see you soon!
Korel Laloix: ciao
Catrinamonblue Resident: Bye Korel, thank you too for sharing
Korel Laloix: I have used and abused PaB for free therapy quite a lot.... smiles.. a good group of people to learn from.
Korel Laloix: Ciao