2008.06.15 13:00- Father's Day Gifts Given and Received

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    Maxine was the guardian that afternoon. She sent me the following log, with her comments. The title of this session is hers too.

    When I got to the teahouse, Riddle Sideways and Adams Rubble were already outside where I soon joined them.

    Riddle Sideways: we are only ones here?
    Maxine Walden: hi, Riddle, think so right now
    Adams Rubble: So far. I am having wierd problems
    Adams Rubble: Hi Maxine
    Riddle Sideways: want to talk about it? :))
    Maxine Walden: you outside?
    Riddle Sideways: yes
    Adams Rubble: Oh you inside?
    Adams Rubble: I just got thrown across the creek
    Maxine Walden: yes, I’m inside, but could easily come out
    Riddle Sideways: we could come in
    Maxine Walden: why don’t I do that, I will come out
    Adams Rubble: I might not be able to get in :)

    We all took a few moments to ask and to share about our experiences on this Father’s Day Sunday

    Riddle Sideways: was there are guardian meeting this morning?
    Adams Rubble: Yes….about the logo
    Riddle Sideways: sorry I missed it
    Neela Blaisdale: Nice to meet you
    Adams Rubble: There is a copy on the group page
    Riddle Sideways: yes, Neela
    Maxine Walden: hi, Adams
    Adams Rubble: Hi Neela
    Adams Rubble: Hi Maxine
    Maxine Walden: hi, Neelo
    Neela Blaisdale: Hi Adams
    Neela Blaisdale: Hi Maxine
    Riddle Sideways: I have none of the opinoins others seem to
    Riddle Sideways: and I needed sleep
    Adams Rubble: No I didn;t either
    Maxine Walden: what do you mean, Riddle and Adams, not the same opinions as others, if Maxine Walden feel free to mention?
    Riddle Sideways: being fathers day, I was waiting for breakfast in bed
    Riddle Sideways: that never came
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Maxine Walden: oh, how dissappointing!
    Adams Rubble: I didn;t have as STRONG an opinion as the others
    Maxine Walden: oh, sorry, did not get the inflection
    Adams Rubble: I have lots of lag thought
    Adams Rubble: Hoping it goes away
    Adams Rubble: Happy Gather’s Day Riddle
    Adams Rubble: Father’s
    Riddle Sideways: TY
    Maxine Walden: yes, happy Father’s Day

    Riddle spoke of what turned out to be a lovely Father’s Day gift, a meaningful discussion with his son

    Riddle Sideways: Actually had a very good talk with my 21yr old son
    Riddle Sideways: yesterday
    Riddle Sideways: on the way to the airport
    Maxine Walden: oh?
    Riddle Sideways: he is doing summer internship in DC
    Riddle Sideways: and switching from engineering to Pol.Sci
    Maxine Walden: ah, such a conversation can be a great gift…and quite a shift for him it seems
    Adams Rubble: DC sounds like a good place for that
    Adams Rubble: Yes it is good to talk with our sons and daughters
    Maxine Walden: yes, DC should be a great place for those interests
    Riddle Sideways: he wanted to know all about my politics
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Riddle Sideways: and why and how I got there
    Riddle Sideways: it was a great conversation
    Maxine Walden: oh, wow!
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Maxine Walden: it is gratifying when our children seem really interested in what we as their parents, what our journey has been
    Riddle Sideways: sorry, don’t mean to monopolize chat
    Adams Rubble: np
    Maxine Walden: not a monopoly at all, especialy on this Father’s Day
    Adams Rubble: :)

    And Riddle then mentions a gift he may be giving to his son as well

    Riddle Sideways: we went a long time on a trait I have that impresses and imbrasses him
    Riddle Sideways: at the same time
    Maxine Walden: oh?
    Riddle Sideways: I talk to strangers
    Riddle Sideways: everywhere
    Riddle Sideways: I get bored in lines
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Riddle Sideways: so I start conversations with strangers
    Riddle Sideways: I crack stupid jokes as ice breakers
    Maxine Walden: which could be very interesting…
    Adams Rubble: Some of us wish we could do that
    Riddle Sideways: I meet the most amazing people
    Adams Rubble: so it pays off
    Riddle Sideways: they have been to places I only dream of
    Maxine Walden: I can imagine that you do meet some interesting people
    Riddle Sideways: yes, it has paid and paid off
    Maxine Walden: wonderful
    Riddle Sideways: but it embrasses a teenager with me
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: He’ll remember that and reasure that
    Adams Rubble: treasure
    Adams Rubble: if he is going into politics he’ll need to learn it :)
    Maxine Walden: a shy teen who might wish to hide a bit ?
    Riddle Sideways: that’s what we talked about
    Maxine Walden: sounds like a very fruitful conversation
    Riddle Sideways: I was shy or at least not out-going at his age
    Riddle Sideways: I started getting rewards from strangers around 19+
    Maxine Walden: strangers helped a shy teen out…
    Riddle Sideways: picking up hitchhikers was a great treasure

    Riddle continues about the gift of openness which has enriched him as well as others

    Riddle Sideways: it kept me awake and
    Riddle Sideways: I met stories
    Maxine Walden: ah…
    Maxine Walden: many stories, likely
    Riddle Sideways: yes
    Riddle Sideways: there is a boredom of standing in a line at Disney
    Riddle Sideways: that can be beaten
    Riddle Sideways: by meeting the person behind you
    Riddle Sideways: then you see them 2 hours later
    Riddle Sideways: and have a friend
    Riddle Sideways: once they open
    Maxine Walden: yes
    Maxine Walden: sorry, I may have interrupted your thought
    Riddle Sideways: they will tell me things they wouldn’t tell their wife
    Riddle Sideways: but it is mostly the stories
    Adams Rubble: that’s a good trick
    Maxine Walden: that is so interesting…sort of like passengers on the airplane
    Riddle Sideways: exactly
    Riddle Sideways: spent 5 hours with your fellow passenger

    We wondered about the phenomenon of speaking more freely with ’strangers’ or ‘new friends’ than with intimates, shortly followed by parents’ bittersweet thoughts about their children as well as the pride in their growth.

    Maxine Walden: perhaps new freinds without baggage so to speak, emotional baggage from one’s point of view
    Riddle Sideways: embrass my teenager
    Maxine Walden: he not so trusting of the openness?
    Riddle Sideways: in between now
    Maxine Walden: ah
    Riddle Sideways: he sees the point now
    Riddle Sideways: especially now
    Riddle Sideways: he is going off to a place where he knows nobody
    Riddle Sideways: and wants to make a good impression
    Maxine Walden: really? rather brave, knows nobody in DC
    Riddle Sideways: yet, not boast
    Riddle Sideways: and not shy
    Maxine Walden: and has your example to follow
    Riddle Sideways: and bad examples too
    Maxine Walden: hehe
    Adams Rubble: Is this his first time away?
    Riddle Sideways: he prolbably will not just start laughing at somebodies tie
    Riddle Sideways: well, no he has been off many times
    Riddle Sideways: at college for 2 years
    Adams Rubble: It is bittersweet when they go off
    Riddle Sideways: Israel for .5 year

    And the comings and goings in terms of ties and emotions

    Maxine Walden: imagine you will be thinking a lot about him this summer
    Riddle Sideways: cel phones and IM make him close
    Adams Rubble: Yes communications are much easier
    Maxine Walden: oh, yes, ways to stay in close touch
    Maxine Walden: and emotionally as well in close touch
    Riddle Sideways: yes, but sure am glad he is not living in our house this summer
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Riddle Sideways: Love him, but can’t live around him
    Riddle Sideways: my daughter is a different story
    Maxine Walden: so yes, can better love with a little distance
    Riddle Sideways: I don’t want her to leave all summer
    Maxine Walden:You would like her to stay for the summer?
    Riddle Sideways: I like being with her
    Maxine Walden: interesting the differences…isn’t it?
    Riddle Sideways: they are very different children
    Riddle Sideways: from the same parents
    Maxine Walden: oh, yes
    Riddle Sideways: how does thatwork?
    Adams Rubble: Yes, individuals each

    The individuality of each child, the questions parents face, closenesses and distances…

    Maxine Walden: interesting question, such different individuals from the same parents
    Adams Rubble: Who knows how that happens
    Adams Rubble: makes life interesting
    Adams Rubble: feel bad for the shy ones
    Riddle Sideways: do either of you have kids?
    Adams Rubble: We have 2 sons and 3 daughters
    Adams Rubble: 2 daughters
    Adams Rubble: 4
    Riddle Sideways: wow, full house
    Adams Rubble: 2 away, 2 home
    Riddle Sideways: far away?
    Adams Rubble: One married in California, one in Milwaukee for summer
    Adams Rubble: We’re on east coast
    Riddle Sideways: we are in california and all of our family/relations are east
    Riddle Sideways: I know the distance
    Adams Rubble: yes, crazy country

    And then, for some reason, feeling self-conscience in terms of ‘discussions re PaB’ I briefly alter the direction of the natural commentary

    Maxine Walden: I find myself, as PaB greeter, wondering if we might also share our experiences, how things are going? Does that interrupt Father’s day thoughts?
    Adams Rubble: np
    Riddle Sideways: np
    Maxine Walden: (Uh oh, stopped the conversation)
    Adams Rubble: Of course I am laid out on my blog :)
    Riddle Sideways: :)
    Riddle Sideways: trying to think of proper wording
    Adams Rubble: :)

    And then Riddle appropriately links the conversation thus far with often internal meanderings of PaB

    Riddle Sideways: I think all that I have been babbling on about fits
    Maxine Walden: ah…
    Riddle Sideways: a little to retrospective
    Riddle Sideways: but playing as different beings
    Riddle Sideways: imagining how we shape children
    Adams Rubble: ouch
    Adams Rubble: big question
    Maxine Walden: oh, yes, that is interesting…how we shape, or not perhaps…ourselves as well as our children perhaps?

    And we recall our generation as young adults with an enthusiasm now also mostly in reminscence

    Riddle Sideways: I am part of that generation that was going to change the world
    Maxine Walden: me too
    Adams Rubble: Yes, we didnt do all that well on that
    Maxine Walden: right!!
    Adams Rubble: became katerialistic instead
    Adams Rubble: materialistic
    Maxine Walden: humbling
    Adams Rubble: yes
    Adams Rubble: but the next generation is very promising
    Adams Rubble: engaged with politics
    Adams Rubble: engaged with social issues
    Maxine Walden: perhaps our hopes go into our children, but in many ways the next generation, as you say does seem so engaged
    Riddle Sideways: ah, so were we
    Adams Rubble: we sort of gave up after 1968
    Adams Rubble: never recovered
    Riddle Sideways: I kept trying
    Adams Rubble: but as a generation
    Riddle Sideways: we went downhill
    Adams Rubble: big cars, big houses
    Adams Rubble: we knew better
    Riddle Sideways: yep
    Maxine Walden: do you think we gave in to despair?
    Adams Rubble: interesting question
    Adams Rubble: became disengaged
    Adams Rubble: unmindful of our social responsibilities
    Adams Rubble: but put much effort into our children (as a generation)
    Adams Rubble: it seems
    Riddle Sideways: yes, very interesting
    Maxine Walden: more self centered perhaps, and then gave our hopes/zeal to our kids
    Riddle Sideways: I don’t think gave in nor despair
    Adams Rubble: apathy maybe
    Maxine Walden: ah, after 1968?
    Adams Rubble: maybe our generation was less active than it seemed. maybe it was a small group who were
    Riddle Sideways: tired maybe
    Adams Rubble: tired yes
    Adams Rubble: no leaders anymore
    Adams Rubble: to inspire
    Riddle Sideways: most started working locally, which never ttranslated to globally
    Adams Rubble: yes
    Adams Rubble: I agree

    And then we possibly came around full circle, thinking about the earlier comments on gifts to and from our children including our hopes for their continued growth and prosperity

    Maxine Walden: and yet you are being an inspiration to your son, perhaps
    Riddle Sideways: yes, that is what we talked about
    Maxine Walden: and who knows maybe he will go global
    Riddle Sideways: how we moved to small village and act locally
    Riddle Sideways: maybe gave up on global government, change and results
    Maxine Walden: remaining more on the personal scale, local, perhaps?
    Riddle Sideways: at this point he has been doing global things
    Riddle Sideways: as I did at his age
    Maxine Walden: (just need to say that I need to go in about 3 min and will take the chatlog with me)
    Riddle Sideways: Thanks
    Riddle Sideways: I need to go too
    Maxine Walden: you must be very proud of his doing global things
    Riddle Sideways: meant not to stay so long
    Riddle Sideways: a long honey-do list today
    Maxine Walden: these conversations do seem to lose track of time, at least that is often my experience
    Adams Rubble: yes too short

    And we end our conversation with the gift of a father’s deserved pride in his son and his interests and involvements

    Riddle Sideways: btw he is studentsfordarfur.org and 400,000 faces on facebook
    Riddle Sideways: very proud
    Adams Rubble: yes you should be
    Maxine Walden: ok, I will go, very nice to talk and to share this Father’s Day with you; oh, yes, much to be proud of Riddle in your son, thank yo u so for sharing about him
    Maxine Walden: bye for now
    Riddle Sideways: bye now

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