2009.07.06 07:00 - Being as a Resource

Morning coffee with my good friend Adams .... Kallie

Adams Rubble: Good morning Kallie :)
Kallie Kira: hey Adams :)
Kallie Kira: having some browser problems today for some reason
Kallie Kira: downloaded a new version
Adams Rubble: Ohhh. Glad you were able to make it
Adams Rubble: ouch
Kallie Kira: what's new? long time no see :)
Adams Rubble: yes, it has been
Adams Rubble: I am chugging along :)))
Adams Rubble: How about you?
Kallie Kira: good :) glad to hear it :)
Kallie Kira: me too .... trying to stay in the slow lane during summer

Adams Rubble: I haven;t been down very well with the slow lane part this summer
Adams Rubble: It is much busier than last summer for me
Adams Rubble: but it has been good
Adams Rubble: except for all the construction everywhere in RL :)
Kallie Kira: ah, near your work?
Adams Rubble: thank goodness for PaB :)
Kallie Kira: :)
Adams Rubble: In my work, at my home and in between and in the park nearby
Kallie Kira: oh gosh, yuk
Adams Rubble: can't escape it
Kallie Kira: quit resisting :)
Kallie Kira: embrace it
Adams Rubble: except by coming here. hehe
Kallie Kira: be one with the construction :)
Adams Rubble: I get all dirty
Kallie Kira: he he
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: everything is dirty

Kallie Kira: mad dash for coffee - it took so long to get browser I need a refill
Adams Rubble: cleaned up in the cellar where they brought in the new gas line and have an overflow pipe through the wall because the new pipeline is too powerful for our system
Adams Rubble: but none of that is important :)
Kallie Kira: I think that stuff is important in that things are conscious and in good working order .... makes space for good things to happen
Kallie Kira: and... in the big picture., yeah not so important
Adams Rubble: well I have found it a bit of a distraction to slowing things down in the summer
Kallie Kira: lol, I hear ya
Adams Rubble: and also for the good things that are happening. hehe
Adams Rubble: but I am remarkaby calm about it :)
Kallie Kira: that's good!
Adams Rubble: I only went looking for the foreman to yell at one morning and I couldn;t find him (giggles)
Kallie Kira: lucky for both of you
Kallie Kira: :)
Adams Rubble: turns out it was good I didn't because what wasn't done was because they found a way not to do it :)
Kallie Kira: worked out well then
Adams Rubble: yes

Kallie Kira: are you taking part in the land rush? :)
Adams Rubble: No. are you?
Kallie Kira: no ... I might look around and see if there's something super nice ... not a big fan of the mainland
Adams Rubble: I don;t have the enhanced membership
Adams Rubble: or whatever it is :)
Kallie Kira: easy to get though
Kallie Kira: premium membership
Kallie Kira: it can add up if you want a decent amount of prims
Adams Rubble nods

Kallie Kira: have you been in the 9sec lately?
Adams Rubble: well, I am trying to be regular today
Adams Rubble: I am in a new place
Kallie Kira: how do you mean?
Adams Rubble: I have been partly on a quest these past 13 months or so
Adams Rubble: to get back in touch with the spiritual side that I lost so many years ago
Kallie Kira: yes, I remember that
Kallie Kira: and your conclusion?
Adams Rubble: It is much different from what you are doing I think
Kallie Kira: lol, yes, probably so
Adams Rubble: well, yesterday morning we had a great session where some things came together for me
Kallie Kira: oh good!!

Adams Rubble: Pema often has mentioned using Being as a resource
Adams Rubble: I could never imagine what that could mean
Adams Rubble: I once used God as a resource
Adams Rubble: but that would not work now
Adams Rubble: I finally asked Pema what the difference would be
Kallie Kira: maybe no difference
Adams Rubble: and he asked me to describe what i thought that using God as a resource would feel like
Adams Rubble: yes a big difference
Adams Rubble: As a Christian it is getting beyond a feeling of weakness, a feeling of unworthiness
Adams Rubble: but in telling about it, I immediately began to see that was an identity
Kallie Kira: hmmm
Adams Rubble: so we need to see that our identities can limit us
Adams Rubble: that we can be more than what are identities think we are
Adams Rubble: Pema summed it up "we are more than we think we are"
Adams Rubble: In any case, for me....
Adams Rubble: I feel that I have touched a part of me that seemed to be irrovacably lost
Kallie Kira: so if that part is "found" does it dissolve your questions/quest in a way? do you put that down?
Adams Rubble: we'll see :)
Kallie Kira: or maybe merely acknowledge it
Adams Rubble: these things never seem to work the way I think they will work :)
Kallie Kira: lol, not much does
Kallie Kira: :)

Adams Rubble: I just have a feeling I am on new ground
Kallie Kira: sounds like a good thing
Adams Rubble: It feels it :)
Kallie Kira: we come from very different places re religion so I am a little reluctant to try and speak with you about that since 1) I may use vocabulary that is not shared and therefore be misinterpreted 2) may not be able to communicate clearly what I am trying to express using this truncated texting medium ....
Kallie Kira: nonetheless, I get what you are telling me :)
Adams Rubble: :)
Kallie Kira: I know that religion was at one time a very important guidepost for you and you have been looking at that
Adams Rubble: yes, in my case I had something that I lost
Adams Rubble: could not take the childhood faith into adulthood
Kallie Kira: maybe not a good fit any longer
Adams Rubble: Not the way it was
Adams Rubble: I think I am a bit of a mystic
Adams Rubble: or may be
Kallie Kira: lol, I'm mostly mystified :)
Adams Rubble: hehe

Kallie Kira: even with no training at youth I found my way to the river, swim in it from time to time.... it's not a person or a place ....
Adams Rubble: yes, and as you say it may be largely a matter of vocabulary
Adams Rubble: and a different route too
Kallie Kira: for sure .... amazing that there are so many ways to arrive :)
Adams Rubble nods
Adams Rubble: recently I learned that emptiness can mean a blank slate and thus offer possibilties
Adams Rubble: had seemed a negative term to me before
Kallie Kira: yeah for sure .... that's what I tell kids when they say they're bored :)
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: wonderful thing for them to hear
Adams Rubble: It is up to us to relieve our own boredom :)
Kallie Kira: to relieve our own (fill in the blank) ... :)
Adams Rubble: :)

Kallie Kira: I sat by the sea for a week recently .... could feel myself wash out to the middle from time to time ..... I would close my eyes while bobbing in the waves, listening (do this with your mouth closed)
Adams Rubble: :)
Kallie Kira: listening, bobbing, gently rocking with the earth
Kallie Kira: marvelous
Adams Rubble: :)
Kallie Kira: I would like to be a kelp
Kallie Kira: ha ha
Adams Rubble: :)

Adams Rubble: I was in a hammock over the weekend and can feel what you describe :)
Kallie Kira: the water was a perfect turquoise, the temperature a perfect bobbing temperature
Kallie Kira: ahhh, the hammock
Kallie Kira: love the hammock!!!
Adams Rubble: It seemed I was rocking to some other rhythm
Adams Rubble: just giving into it
Kallie Kira: yes, giving over, .... joining the rhythm
Kallie Kira: a different rhythm than my appt book
Adams Rubble nods
Kallie Kira: I would like to putter for 6 months or so
Kallie Kira: no direction known
Adams Rubble: wouldn't that be nice :)
Kallie Kira: let my mind rest
Adams Rubble nods

Adams Rubble: I am beginning to understand what you were getting at about the construction
Adams Rubble: not sure I can do that though :)
Kallie Kira: maybe do it part-time :)
Adams Rubble: I can play music loudly to drown out the hammering in the room above :)
Kallie Kira: I think that's much of the value I get from 9sec .... not the great big burning bush epiphany thing but more I can let my mind rest for a little time
Kallie Kira: 1 word .... headphones!!
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: I find the nine seconds help me focus
Adams Rubble: It sounds as if you have been doing it regularly
Kallie Kira: spurts and spits .... while at the sea it was my state of mind... the week after it was a weird daze of wanting to be there and being online, now I'm online again and feel my appt book sucking me in little by little ... ugh
Adams Rubble: ouch
Kallie Kira: wha wha
Kallie Kira: call a wha-mbulance
Adams Rubble: :)
Kallie Kira: just the slacker in me talking :)
Kallie Kira: I let it vent a little and then go kick some butt :)
Adams Rubble: hehe
Kallie Kira: get really productive

Kallie Kira: I think it's interesting that 9sec is useful for very different things for the two of us ... for you to focus, for me it's more like getting unfocused :)
Adams Rubble: My experience is it's is good for many things for me depending on what i need and how I am looking at things
Kallie Kira: for sure, makes sense
Adams Rubble: but stopping to observe what we are doing and then going from there :)
Adams Rubble: somedays it may be we need to focus...what you just described as being productive
Adams Rubble: to see whatever it is that is telling us we can't do it
Adams Rubble: then as to the beach, whether maybe we should go there, or maybe it is important to focus :)
Kallie Kira: hmmmm
Kallie Kira: I hadn't thought of it like that .... a good approach for sure
Adams Rubble: I've been learning to stop thinking of things as a chore :)
Kallie Kira: yeah, it's just stuff you do
Adams Rubble: yeah, either something worth doing or something worth not doing . hehe

Kallie Kira: I think the chance to stop and then drop is to me only that .... I don't look for focus or anything, during those times I truly do drop my stuff, it's like an access point, a portal to that river ... I don't find focus, I find .... open space .... maybe that's a focus of a sort
Adams Rubble: yes
Adams Rubble: it is after that one might see what one had been doing in a different light
Kallie Kira: sure, clearly a possibility
Adams Rubble: I often think of Stim's comment about positive and negative energy
Adams Rubble: in any moment we can choose to take postive or negative energy into the next moment
Kallie Kira: yes
Adams Rubble: it appears you may take your open space into the next moment
Adams Rubble: that is positive energy
Kallie Kira: perhaps so, something to consider
Adams Rubble: I try to use the stops to identitfy when I am carrying negative energy
Adams Rubble: not always successful with that though

Kallie Kira: so if I may ask, are you actively considering these things during 9sec or is that something you do afterwards?
Adams Rubble: I may do it both ways. I am not sure it matters
Adams Rubble: Lots of time I stop and nothing happens
Kallie Kira: yeah for sure
Adams Rubble: when I am blogging my nine seconds I guess I am more likely to be actively looking
Kallie Kira: easy to stop, harder to drop :)
Adams Rubble: yes!

Kallie Kira: hey maybe the construction is an opportunity to begin telecommuting :) ... tell your boss hey, this is just too much, this is how I can be more productive 2 days a week ... :)
Adams Rubble: hehe. I already have permission to do that but I have a bunch of students working this summer and need to be here for them :)
Kallie Kira: ah ok
Adams Rubble: but last couple of weeks it was noisier at home too
Kallie Kira: lol
Kallie Kira: embrace the noise!!!
Adams Rubble: Worse seems to be over there except they have to fix the street
Adams Rubble: or hide from the noicse :)
Kallie Kira: lol, all options

Adams Rubble: I must run. It has been good chatting :)
Adams Rubble: have a great day!
Kallie Kira: me too, and yes, ... great to see you!!
Kallie Kira: you too :)
Adams Rubble: bye :)