2008.09.07 13:00 - Beyond 'who am I'?

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    The guardian for this meeting was Maxine Walden.  The comments are hers.

    After a few minutes in the Pavilion Starseed joins me.  He and I are the only members of this conversation

      Starseed Xue: hi
      Maxine Walden: hi, Starseed
      Maxine Walden: how are you?
      Starseed Xue: im good
      Starseed Xue: you?
      Maxine Walden: fine thanks

    As Starseed remained standing I offered an invitation


     Maxine Walden: care to join me or are you meandering
     Maxine Walden: I believe I have seen you at these meetings before, is that right?
     Starseed Xue: i've been to a few
     Maxine Walden: how are you finding them?
     Starseed Xue: theyre ok 

    I thought I would ask outfight about the Play as being practice and was interested in his response:


     Maxine Walden: are you into the play as being practice?
     Starseed Xue: you mean 9sec every 15 minutes?
     Maxine Walden: yes, the 9 sec practice/
     Starseed Xue: i only practice it when im here
     Starseed Xue: i go to zen retreat daily though
     Maxine Walden: ah...
     Maxine Walden: so when you come like to this meeting, you might expect to do the 9 sec during this time?
     Starseed Xue: yes

    At the time it seemed clear, but as I look back I may have been too concrete in assuming that indeed Starseed might be interested in our doing the 9 sec practice during this meeting

     Starseed Xue: yes
     Maxine Walden: maybe we each could do it and share our experience
     Starseed Xue: oK

      Starseed Xue: i usually try to keep a clear head
      Maxine Walden: good, I will try it now as well

    We had a perhaps 30 second or so quiet period during which I went into a 9 second practice, anticipating Starseed did as well.  We then share our experiences

    Maxine Walden: Care to share your experience just now?
     Starseed Xue: sure
     Starseed Xue: i thought about dinner lol
     Maxine Walden: lol, as well. I was aware of the sounds, and my pulse and they seemed to go together
     Starseed Xue: intresting
     Maxine Walden: it is interesting the different levels of focus possible with each practice, each attempt
     Maxine Walden: at least in my experience. If I were hungry then I probably would be thinking of dinner as well
     Maxine Walden: The SL sounds often capture my attention, the birds and the music and water
     Starseed Xue: yes'
     Starseed Xue: very pleasant
     Starseed Xue: pleasant
     Maxine Walden: yes very nice, soothing often

     I felt a bit of an inquirer,perhaps a guide of sorts, but also felt this to be quite appropriate in terms of our conversation:

    Maxine Walden: Have you had a variety of experiences in the 9 sec practice?
      Starseed Xue: yes
      Maxine Walden: I'd be interested in hearing some of them if you would wish to share
      Maxine Walden: or is that putting you on the spot? 

    And Starseed's responses suggested that he has had several noteworthy experiences and perhaps meditations about life and origins

    Starseed Xue: often times i am in awe of life itself
      Maxine Walden: hmm, yes
      Starseed Xue: i wonder what it is and who created it
      Maxine Walden: the origins of it all?
      Starseed Xue: how did it begin
      Starseed Xue: yes
      Maxine Walden: it is almost too much to envision for me at times
      Starseed Xue: yea
      Maxine Walden: can't get my mind around it...
      Starseed Xue: its beyond human understanding

    We also spoke of the limitations of human understanding and the attendant awe, and explorations toward enhanced levels of consciousness

    Maxine Walden: probably is beyond human understanding, so much is beyond understanding...really makes me  humble
     Starseed Xue: at least, in our current state
     Starseed Xue: by that i mean
     Starseed Xue: if we were to evolve to a higher level, maybe then we could understand
     Maxine Walden: what might consitutite a higher level in this thought?
     Starseed Xue: a new level of consciousness
     Starseed Xue: a better understanding of mind
     starseed Xue: and what its capable of
     Maxine Walden: yes, that may be what we are searching for exploring about in these practices
     Starseed Xue: yes

    We then turned to time, and how changed Starseed has felt with certain discoveries

     Maxine Walden: have you been exploring in this area, toward higher consciousness for awhile?
     Starseed Xue: not that long
     Maxine Walden: weeks, months, years?
     Starseed Xue: a couple years
     Maxine Walden: it is interesting for me, how time seems to lose its meaning in these explorations. A couple of years may seem very short or very very long. Interesting for me that fluid percpetion of time
     Maxine Walden: you probably have had some significant experiences in a couple of years
     Starseed Xue: hmm
     Starseed Xue: well
     Starseed Xue: my attitude
     Starseed Xue: and my outlook
     Starseed Xue: and my mood
     Starseed Xue: have chaged signifigantly
     Starseed Xue: changed
     Maxine Walden: In what ways, Starseed? Sounds like a lot has happened for you
     Maxine Walden: happened
     Starseed Xue: well
     Starseed Xue: i discovered
     Starseed Xue: true happiness comes from caring for others

    A seemingly simple but profound thing, beyond the self, Starseed mentions an exploration of Being


     Maxine Walden: that can be a huge discovery!
      Starseed Xue: life changing
      Maxine Walden: indeed, life changing. Seems like a lot has happened for you in this regard
      Starseed Xue: for a while i couldnt uderstand who i was
      Maxine Walden: yeah?
      Starseed Xue: you hear the phrase "keep it real" alot these days
      Maxine Walden: yes...
      Starseed Xue: "be yourself"
      Starseeed Xue: that can be challenging
      Maxine Walden: yes...
      Starseed Xue: so i often would ask in meditation
      Starseed Xue: who am I? what is real for me?
      Starseed Xue: then i realized
      Starseed Xue: just be good
      Starseed Xue: its so easy


    Starseed expresses an exploration in being.  As I look at the chatlog I realize I may have been more opaque than Starseed, as I continue to inquire.

       Maxine Walden: But what does that mean, just be good?
      Maxine Walden: mean for you?
      Starseed Xue: there are many ways to be good
      Maxine Walden: right....
      Starseed Xue: to start with
      Starseed Xue: random acts of kindness
      Starseed Xue: little things
      Starseed Xue: and maybe some day those little things will become big ones
      Maxine Walden: and maybe the little things, yes taken care of, and the big things may take care of themselves
      Starseed Xue: i often felt my being was defined by what i said
      Starseed Xue: by the words that came out of my mouth
      Starseed Xue: but i realized thats only partially true
      Maxine Walden: ah, and now you feel differently?
      Maxine Walden: yes,
      Starseed Xue: and actions truly do speak louder than words
      Maxine Walden: they do don't they, as if actions speak from the inside of us
      Maxine Walden: from our being perhaps
      Maxine Walden: Sometimes from intense places and sometimes from quiet places

    It felt like we had in this brief exchange had a lovely example of explorations in being, in Being. I was saddened that I soon needed to go, and of course needed to mention my leaving in order not to be abrupt

    Maxine Walden: Starseed, I need to mention that I will have to go in a few minutes and did not want that to seem abrupt or sudden.
    Starseed Xue: =D
    Starseed Xue: k
    Maxine Walden: I have enjoyed our conversation; it is always interesting to see how others are in this journey, these exploration
    Starseed Xue: yes indeed
    Maxine Walden: We all are probably travleing similar paths, but of course each of us is unique


    And tidying up the housekeeping duties I take my leave.

      Maxine Walden: oh, I need to ask, are you OK with my taking this log of our chat to put in the Play as Being log? Have you been asked that before?
      Starseed Xue: its fine with me
      Maxine Walden: great. Just needing to make sure. Are you aware of the Play as Being website?
      Starseed Xue: yes
      Maxine Walden: great. OK, I had better go. Look forward to seeing you again
      Starseed Xue: nice chatting with you
      Starseed Xue: have a good one

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