2009.04.16 07:00 - Balance

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    Hi Everyone, it's CalKal, here's the log ... - KK


    Kallie Kira: hi Susi :)
    Susi Alcott: hi Kallie
    Susi Alcott: how are you ?
    Kallie Kira: good :) and you?
    Susi Alcott: fine thanx
    Susi Alcott: Hi Sophia
    SophiaSharon Larnia: Good morning :))
    Susi Alcott: how are you this morning ?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: Hi Kallie ;)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: very good thx u?????
    Kallie Kira: hi Sophia :)
    Kallie Kira: I'm good
    SophiaSharon Larnia: it rained here for 3? days and now sunny :)
    Kallie Kira: getting situated
    SophiaSharon Larnia: me too
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Kallie Kira: ok, think I'm good


    Kallie Kira: what's new with you guys?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: its amazing what a night of sleep will do
    Kallie Kira: :)
    Kallie Kira: yes for sure
    Kallie Kira: have you been sleepless?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yup
    Kallie Kira: finally got the logger to work
    Kallie Kira: spaz attack
    Kallie Kira: why were you sleepless?
    Kallie Kira: maybe too much to do :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: well, it is my baseline exaserbated by the change in season, but I have been doing to much thinking about seeing being, being seeing...merry go round
    SophiaSharon Larnia: a bit of a fun house eh
    Kallie Kira: mmm
    Kallie Kira: thinking about seeing being?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: that was my original goal, as I am so new here at pab... everyone here is so much further along this line of thought than myself, and then Pema introduced being seeing and well, then I was off
    SophiaSharon Larnia: its all good :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: 2 eyes looking at each other
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yikes
    Kallie Kira: I'm not sure anyone is farther along :) maybe some have been talking about it here longer but if you see being that's the deal right there :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes we all come from different places
    SophiaSharon Larnia: when we wanlk up to the pavilion


    SophiaSharon Larnia: no i wouldnt say i see, but to let the idea that I CAN percolate in the mind
    Kallie Kira: I have been slowly reading Pema's morning email
    SophiaSharon Larnia: and that I am seen, also........ I haven't read them in a while
    SophiaSharon Larnia: it is all something i knew, have to remember
    Kallie Kira: the email is interesting in that it takes some vocabulary we have been working with, the vocabulary and the concepts, and re-posits them
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes
    Kallie Kira: what do you mean "something I knew, have to remember"?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i think it is all a part of us, being, what we all were a part of, we are pieces of the light working under a veil for some purpose,
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i dont know why i have ideas that come and go
    Kallie Kira: it's slippery to put your mind around :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes


    Eliza Madrigal: Morning :)
    Susi Alcott: Hi Eliza
    Kallie Kira: hi Eliza :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ok now glanced at email, have to think about that one
    SophiaSharon Larnia: Hi Eliza
    Kallie Kira: join us :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Thank you
    Kallie Kira: how are you?
    Eliza Madrigal: Hmm...a bit deep today..might be a little quiet :)
    Kallie Kira: how so? can you say?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: me?
    Kallie Kira: sure, or Eliza :) or Susi :)
    Eliza Madrigal: That's my best description I think. :)
    Kallie Kira: curious about the "bit deep" comment :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Got up this morning and felt very....heavily presenced,,,strange to describe...so meditated for a while, and now just here to listen :)
    Kallie Kira: got it
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes Eliza I know feelings similiar
    Kallie Kira: Sophia was just describing something similar
    Eliza Madrigal: Ah, please do go on :)


    SophiaSharon Larnia: for me i intrepret it as something divine
    SophiaSharon Larnia: which brings cultural interpretation of what that word means
    Susi Alcott: may Susi do something that has helped some ppl in PaB meetings too
    SophiaSharon Larnia: and anger with it oo
    Susi Alcott: ?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
    Kallie Kira: a complicated mix :)
    Kallie Kira: sure Susi :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Kallie Kira: what are you doing Susi?
    Eliza Madrigal: Exuding light...nice
    Susi Alcott: searching something from my inventory
    SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles
    Kallie Kira: ok
    Susi Alcott: as there's no good healing anims created yet...
    Eliza Madrigal: Thank you Susi That is wonderful :)
    Kallie Kira: that's nice, what is that called?
    Susi Alcott: it's only one meditation anim, but it's quite much like I can do in publick in RL
    Kallie Kira: nice
    Kallie Kira: :)
    Kallie Kira: we have a pillow right here for you :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Wb Sophia :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :) Sophia, do you feel anger at traditon/culture...or? I have been interested to read much of what you've been working to describe in the logs and relate.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: thnak you hope i didnt sit on anyway heheh
    Susi Alcott: welcome back Sohia
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ty!!
    Susi Alcott: so...shall move to Sophia now
    Kallie Kira: ty Susi :)


    SophiaSharon Larnia: i feel like when my walls thin i have a lot of anger about my past, about the state of the world and everything it emcompasses
    SophiaSharon Larnia: it is always there and has to be dealt with, every path i take brings me back to this crossroad, there is no other
    Susi Alcott: and the most important is to let you to feel
    SophiaSharon Larnia: and i feel bad to dump it on people here which is why hard to talk aboput
    SophiaSharon Larnia: it is a merry go round too
    Eliza Madrigal: That's beautiful...a clearing out. It isn't dumping at all...is sharing
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    SophiaSharon Larnia: thank you Susi so much
    Susi Alcott: highly agree
    Kallie Kira: one perspective is to notice that stuff, notice and accept you're not your history
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes Eliza ty too :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Maxine once said about dreaming...that "With awakening comes pain and loss"
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes it is so difficult to do I am Not my Story
    Kallie Kira: and that what is now is good
    Kallie Kira: because that's where you are :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia smiles
    Susi Alcott: sry wrong clikc


    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes i know what you mean Kallie
    Kallie Kira: you can still observe all that stuff, you can make amends or not ... it can allow you to not be at the affect of it
    Eliza Madrigal: And it seems so natural a part of the process....
    Kallie Kira: sure, makes it more of a what's so or what was so :)
    Kallie Kira: reduces the thrashing around :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: but i am struggling with that idea and also the idea that to not be affected by it, is in a way removing my ego and i feel that to truely live and grow, i can not step aside
    SophiaSharon Larnia: it must be done awake
    Kallie Kira: mmm, ok I hear that
    Susi Alcott: sometimes the try is the 'wrong' way...
    Eliza Madrigal: that there is a realization that everything is transient and "perfectly empty" and you don't turn away...to begin to actually allow presence in.
    Eliza Madrigal: The not turning away can be tough...to face what you see
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i am trying to learn that too Eliza but for me everything feels extremely FULL
    Kallie Kira: maybe picture taking your ego off.... you can put it back on real quick if you want ... :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ?me smiles
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: as life is full
    Kallie Kira: then sometime, if you want, you could leave home without it :)



    Eliza Madrigal: It is a practice...little by little...learning not to be overwhelmed
    Eliza Madrigal: hahah Kallie
    Kallie Kira: :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: to differentiate between being 'full' and carrying 'baggage'
    SophiaSharon Larnia: or should i be 'empty'
    SophiaSharon Larnia shrugs
    Kallie Kira: full like whole complete integrated as compared to lugging stuff around?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes
    Eliza Madrigal: shedding the illusion of fragmentation can let you feel full
    Kallie Kira: sure Eliza
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes Eliza that is it too
    Susi Alcott: there is the difference to love oneself or to be selfish....
    Kallie Kira: I have an idea of clicking .... when things click.... are synched up, on a whole bunch of levels
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes i know that feeling clicking sometimes feel like tetonic plates shifting
    Susi Alcott: that is not -imho-selfish, to let oneself to be happy even there's not-happy-things around
    Kallie Kira: lol
    Eliza Madrigal: yes! You can almost hear it
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ouch hahah
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Kallie Kira: I was thinking like things slipping into all the right places, wavelengths, like that
    SophiaSharon Larnia: hmmmm energy shifting
    Eliza Madrigal: flowing together rather than being choppy
    Eliza Madrigal: But some waves are high and wow...when you see them coming at you! AAAHHH
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: ok i will work on that, envisioning a smoother sea, thank you Eliza i can see it now (you have provided a key ty).....intergration
    Susi Alcott: and each time you meet them and they go over, you can see that your survived :) so you can also look back...when such wave is to see to come
    Kallie Kira: I'm reminded about the beach, one of my favorite places, an the analogy of being in the wave ... a few options
    Kallie Kira: you can bob with with
    Susi Alcott: Hi Pema
    SophiaSharon Larnia: Hi Pema
    Kallie Kira: you can dive into the middle of it to the other side
    Eliza Madrigal: Morning Pema
    Kallie Kira: you can wipe out on the beach
    Kallie Kira: hey Pema :)
    Pema Pera: Hi Eliza, Kallie, Sophia, Susi!
    Eliza Madrigal: haha, Kallie :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: lol Kallie
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i would like to enjoy that ride
    Kallie Kira: maybe it's not so much the wave :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Kallie Kira: ty for your friendship :)
    Pema Pera: :-)


    Kallie Kira: how shall we catch Pema up :)
    Kallie Kira: he's a waverider too :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: kewl
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Pema Pera: I love motorcycle riding . . . . .
    SophiaSharon Larnia: brb :)))
    Pema Pera: more experience than waves :-)
    Kallie Kira: netaphorical waves :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Both require quick reactions
    Kallie Kira: lol, also metaphorical waves
    Kallie Kira: netaphorical waves are what we ride online
    Pema Pera: :)
    Kallie Kira: I am Cal's sister, maybe you have met her :)
    Pema Pera: the littler one?
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Pema Pera: the talking sounded vaguely familiar :-)
    Kallie Kira: about the same height but I'm younger :)
    Kallie Kira: yeah, we talk a lot
    Kallie Kira: :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_


    Eliza Madrigal: Pema, Sophia was speaking about dealing with anger, emotion, and becoming integrated..can be overwhelming and have to learn to enjoy that
    SophiaSharon Larnia: feels better coming here ty all
    Kallie Kira: good Sophia :)
    Pema Pera: yes, that's the hardest
    Pema Pera: and the most important
    Pema Pera: and the most gratifying
    SophiaSharon Larnia: when the walls thin there is so much to deal with first
    Pema Pera: and the most meaningful :-)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: it hurts a bit
    Pema Pera: I bet
    Susi Alcott: and someitimes hit down...but you also are still 'here' :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: always :)
    Pema Pera: yes
    Eliza Madrigal: I use that term a lot also Sophia..thin walls...I understand that. Sometimes I use the term fuzzy boundaries too...because you feel everything. But getting to a place where you are ready to feel it and stay with it... I think that must be a good place.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: oh yes
    Eliza Madrigal: (Eliza who said she was just listening today-hah)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: that is my word too, i struggle with the idea of boundaries
    Susi Alcott: lol
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i am both boundaryless and live in fortress
    Eliza Madrigal: !!!!!!!
    Pema Pera: (^_^)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: as we all do I think to some dgree
    Pema Pera: yup
    Pema Pera: the balance is the challenge


    Susi Alcott: the same Eliza who also used the word ; wonderful :)
    Eliza Madrigal: throwing out there that "Man on Wire" is a must see film ;-)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: :))
    SophiaSharon Larnia: someone mentioned that to me a day ago lol
    Eliza Madrigal: See....get thee to netflix
    Eliza Madrigal: :
    Eliza Madrigal: Pema's mentioning of balance made me think of that...and a discussion of walking on ropes Monday morning
    Kallie Kira: paradoxes can balance, if all is balanced are we then bland .... a type of mental medication?
    Kallie Kira: or a resting gently?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: balance vs integration?
    Pema Pera: no that is frozen, a static balance
    Susi Alcott: thankfully no phase is eternall
    Kallie Kira: or resting gently
    Pema Pera: a dynamic balance is ever new
    Kallie Kira: coming to the balance repeatedly
    Pema Pera: and yes, gently resting too
    Pema Pera: a natural balance, like breathing
    Kallie Kira: coming to, seeing gently balancing
    Pema Pera: or bicycling :-)
    Susi Alcott: :)
    Kallie Kira: LOL
    Kallie Kira: so we know how to do it
    Kallie Kira: like the saying
    Kallie Kira: hop on and do it
    SophiaSharon Larnia: (picturing self doing a pirouette on a wire)
    Pema Pera: :-)
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: weeeeeeeeeee


    Pema Pera: Buddha had a nice image, of tuning a guitar (or some such instrument :-)
    Kallie Kira: finding the sweet spot :)
    Susi Alcott: occures to my mind what I've been teached and I've learned about the natural way to breath...
    Pema Pera: too much tension or too little tension, and you don't get nice music; you have to find the right tension
    Susi Alcott: that also there's difference between woman and man, that men breath naturally the best possible way, but to woman that is to learn
    Pema Pera: I have to run now (gently :-)
    Eliza Madrigal: BTW, Very clear email this morning, Pema. Thanks for that.


    Pema Pera: see you all soon again!
    Eliza Madrigal: Bye :)
    Kallie Kira: bye :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: bye Pema
    Susi Alcott: bye Pema
    Pema Pera: oh thank you, Eliza, I hope it was not tooooo long :-)
    Eliza Madrigal: Not at all
    Pema Pera: bfn
    Kallie Kira: I should go too :)
    Eliza Madrigal: Interesting talking about breath and tension....does all work together :)
    Susi Alcott: wising good time to you
    Eliza Madrigal: Kallie, a pleasure to meet you today!!
    Eliza Madrigal: (and cute hair)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: Bye Kallie, me too :)
    Susi Alcott: same here
    Kallie Kira: yes same here Eliza:) Sophia, Susi :)
    Kallie Kira: ty!
    Kallie Kira: short isn't it ?
    Eliza Madrigal: yes...but great
    Susi Alcott: agree 130 %
    Kallie Kira: :) ty ! bfn :)


    Eliza Madrigal: Bfn
    SophiaSharon Larnia: (what is bfn?)
    Susi Alcott: be fine ?
    Eliza Madrigal: Bye for now :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: oh!! okay!!
    Susi Alcott: ah
    Eliza Madrigal: Being fun now
    SophiaSharon Larnia smiles
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes! haha
    Susi Alcott: lol
    Eliza Madrigal: Being fearess now
    SophiaSharon Larnia: oooo good one
    Eliza Madrigal: Being ferocious now
    Eliza Madrigal: hahaha
    SophiaSharon Larnia: hahahha
    SophiaSharon Larnia: loves it


    Susi Alcott: ah yes; sure the breathing has more than much to do with having balance
    Eliza Madrigal: :) I'm exhaling deeply now.....not sure where the heaviness came from this morning but it is nice to relate :)
    Eliza Madrigal: A pleasure to come by and confirm that this is a wild ride we're on
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Susi Alcott: well...you look around you...all is not well in the human world
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i have been feeling that way too, am starting to meditate again, baby steps for me :)
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes that fact is what stops me in my tracks
    Eliza Madrigal: Sure...the breathing is so important though.....
    SophiaSharon Larnia: to see
    SophiaSharon Larnia: and feel helpless
    Susi Alcott: so; nobody is outsider completely, even if not knowingly in connection
    Eliza Madrigal: The only way to stay with that...to have compassion/not turn away....is to breathe...
    Susi Alcott: it's just a question of how much one 'communicates' with surrounding
    Eliza Madrigal: and to allow Being to affect it...we *can't*
    Eliza Madrigal: Susi, yes....not being disconnected
    Susi Alcott: when I learned that difference to be true, I wondered the reason to that
    SophiaSharon Larnia: but we are being at least imho
    SophiaSharon Larnia: we are the created and the creators


    Eliza Madrigal: :) yes....and when you talk of the divine...is IS divine.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes
    Eliza Madrigal: Communion
    SophiaSharon Larnia: integration
    Eliza Madrigal: And if that doesn't overwhelm emotions sometimes...something is off ! hahah
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes is so true
    SophiaSharon Larnia: but i want others to see it too
    Susi Alcott: and I came to conclution, that man can more freely breath with whole loungs, but woman's body's difference for the 'baby things' makes woman to breath prefere with 'only' upper part of the loungs
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i dont know if i beleive that
    Eliza Madrigal: Hm...have not thought much about that Susi
    Susi Alcott: and already learning the 'male way', has been help to many women
    SophiaSharon Larnia: that is a limitation in the physical manifestation of being
    Susi Alcott: well; do you both breath up to the deepest part of your loungs ?
    Eliza Madrigal: Sophia, Years ago I was so overwhelmed by "God" that I couldn't stop crying....I consciously stopped "seeking"..let me tell you...you end up back here :))))
    SophiaSharon Larnia: but is an illusionary one?
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes Eliza all the paths have led me to this place
    Susi Alcott: not meaning to say that all of the woman would breath that way, but met more such women who did
    SophiaSharon Larnia: (not pab in particular but this 'place' of understanding)
    Eliza Madrigal: :) And eventually all the paths are the same...which is wonderful.
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes
    Eliza Madrigal: yes, understand :)


    SophiaSharon Larnia: it is tangible, like you could reach out and touch it
    Eliza Madrigal: But if I stop to look at the illusion of "my life" ....there is still a gap between authenticity and what I see...
    Eliza Madrigal: Absolutely
    Susi Alcott: (didn't like the hole :))
    SophiaSharon Larnia: but is frustrating too
    SophiaSharon Larnia: lol Susi
    Eliza Madrigal: yes...that gap is frustrating
    Eliza Madrigal: :) Susi...you like balance
    Susi Alcott: ah yessssssssssssssss
    Susi Alcott: sure; thunderstrom is loveable to me too :), but dont miss that as much
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i love thunderstorms, but the internal ones are hard to take
    Eliza Madrigal: I enjoy thunderstorms a lot...if I can be inside -haha
    SophiaSharon Larnia: yes
    Eliza Madrigal: :)
    Susi Alcott: I love to run out too then somtimes, if I'm not too tired to do that
    Eliza Madrigal: :) So then our challenge is to breathe through whatever arises...
    SophiaSharon Larnia: i do have to go :) although i don't want to
    SophiaSharon Larnia: bfn!!!
    Eliza Madrigal: whether that be overwhelming emotions of pain and empathy or blissful places
    Susi Alcott: there shall be an other day too thankfully
    Susi Alcott: bfn :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :) BFN, Sophia!
    SophiaSharon Larnia: heheh


    Eliza Madrigal: I must go buy soil today...my tomatoes and herbs are looking at me sadly
    Eliza Madrigal: "Don't forget us while you're in there with your new friends" hahah
    Eliza Madrigal: "We're not just here when you want us to be"
    Eliza Madrigal: :D
    Susi Alcott: how wonderfull; your the first one I've heared to speak 'my language' with such
    Eliza Madrigal: yes? Do you garden?
    Susi Alcott: well...have no garden..but talk with them trees and flowers too....
    Susi Alcott: well...talk with many other such things also that ppl dont use to...
    Eliza Madrigal: : ) There's a biblical saying that "the heavens declare the glory of god" and
    Eliza Madrigal: it means everything
    Susi Alcott: (almost saw your tomatoes and herbs)
    Susi Alcott: the word declare....is it 'to be' or something like that ?
    Eliza Madrigal: :)it means you don't need books or whatever...but if they are there, pay attention.
    Eliza Madrigal: declare is like "HERE I AM" :)
    Susi Alcott: ah
    Eliza Madrigal: One might say to someone standing around the corner "Declare yourself!"
    Susi Alcott: thank you very much Eliza for that expression :)
    Eliza Madrigal: :) Nice morning Susi. Thank you..and for the light :)
    Susi Alcott: your good to teach :)
    Susi Alcott: thank you dear lady
    Eliza Madrigal: :) See you soon I'm sure
    Susi Alcott: bfn :)))
    Susi Alcott: _/!\_
    Eliza Madrigal: Bfn :)

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