2009.09.30 07:00 - The Distinct Charms of Playing as Being

The Guardian for this meeting was Eliza Madrigal. The comments are Eliza Madrigal's.

It is difficult for me to comment on this session, as I find myself moved beyond words or reasons by it. When I arrived at the pavillion, Pema was already there. We were joined right away, by Widget, SophiaSharon, Arch, and Yakuzza.  

Pema Pera: Hi Eliza!
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Pema! :)
Eliza Madrigal: Nice to see you :)
Pema Pera: Same here!
Pema Pera: I've been to two PaB sessions a day recently, for almost a week now -- it's nice to have more time to catch up and see what's going on
Pema Pera: it's also nice to be back home again in RL :-)
Pema Pera: I have been traveling most of the summer, since early April really
Widget Whiteberry: good day!
Pema Pera: Hi SophiaSharon and hi Widget!
Eliza Madrigal: Yes, that must feel great :)
Eliza Madrigal: Hi SophiaSharon, Widget :))
SophiaSharon Larnia: Hi Pema, Eliza, Widget :)
Pema Pera: Good to see you here again, Widget!
Widget Whiteberry: You'be been very welcoming and I appreciate it
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Widget Whiteberry: I'm looking forward to this morning
Eliza Madrigal smiles
SophiaSharon Larnia: I think its safe to say Good morning to you Pema and Eliza :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: vs evening :)
Pema Pera: yes, morning for me, for a change!
Eliza Madrigal is always turned around greeting Pema
Eliza Madrigal: hehe
SophiaSharon Larnia: Hi Archmage
Pema Pera: Hi Arch!
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Arch
Eliza Madrigal: I wonder what we are thinking about today... any pressing topics?
Archmage Atlantis: Morning Sophia, Pema, Eliza, Widget!

Pema's Practice...

Pema Pera: Can I share a little story about my practice?
Widget Whiteberry: I'd like that
Eliza Madrigal: Please, that would be great :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: :))
Archmage Atlantis: Yes, that would be excellent :)
Pema Pera: I have been working with the sentence APAPB: appreciate the presence of appearance as a presentation by Being
Pema Pera: and also with our most basic sentence Play as Being
Pema Pera: the advantage of APAPB, or just the first part APA, appreciate the presence of appearance
Pema Pera: is that it is more specific.
Pema Pera: I can just look around, noticing all that appears in any form, inner or outer, sense impression, thought, feeling, memory, fantasy, whatever
Pema Pera: and then I can simply appreciate what appears, without judgment or futher analysis or manipulation
Pema Pera: and then, to refine that, and to really strip off analysis and control attempts
Pema Pera: the invitation is to switch from appearance to only the bare PRESENCE of appearance
Pema Pera: not its meaning, not its implication, just the presence
Pema Pera: hence the APA: appreciate the presence of appearance
Pema Pera: misleadingly simple, but that by itself can be a practice for a life time
Eliza Madrigal considers and smiles... beautiful, Pema
Pema Pera: Now, as for PaB, Play as Being, there we play as if we ourselves, each and anyone of us, already IS all, is Being
Pema Pera: and that is a bit harder to get into
Pema Pera: how do you do that, what does it mean?
Pema Pera: My little story leads to a small stepup I found the other day, after starting with APAPB
Eliza Madrigal listens
Pema Pera: I realized that if I consider all that appears, and appreciate all that as a presentation by Being
Pema Pera: that that would then include also the appearance of me, of a self, of a mind and body that I call me
Pema Pera: so I can appreciate that as a presentation by Being
SophiaSharon Larnia: us too
Eliza Madrigal: (Hi Yakuzza, Pema is sharing thoughts about practice-will send you a notecard)
Pema Pera: so I can play as a presentation by Being
Pema Pera: and from there it is only a small step then play as Being itself
Yakuzza Lethecus: hey everyone
SophiaSharon Larnia: Hi Yakuzza
Pema Pera: since a presentation as such is nothing independent
Pema Pera: Hi Yaku!
Pema Pera: I hope that makes some sense, but please ask me to clarify where I was not clear enough

The view of Being

Eliza Madrigal: When you say that presentation as such is nothing independent... it speaks to naturalness/openness that we've been discussing
SophiaSharon Larnia: it does but i have a question...what does the observing, no 'i', being seeing
Pema Pera: from the point of view of Being, which is not really a point of course, there is only Being
--BELL--
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Pema Pera: so all appearance of doing is part of Being -- the difference is that for Being there is no doing, no separation; that is the absolute view. In contrast, for us, in a relative view, we see a world populated by all kind of things, and doers. The challenge is to relax all those phenomena, all those appearances, back into Being. In other words, the challenge is to freely allow both, the relative and absolute view
Eliza Madrigal: Seems almost overwhelming expansiveness
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes
Pema Pera: it would overwhelm if you would try to hang on to the small self identification :)
Widget Whiteberry: I am at a much more novice-y level
Widget Whiteberry: may I?
Pema Pera: of course!
Widget Whiteberry: hmm
Pema Pera: please
Eliza Madrigal listens intently :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: :)

Widget shares her charm...

Widget Whiteberry: I've been charmed by the notion of 'playing as being'
Widget Whiteberry: note the small 'b'
Widget Whiteberry: and take it as encouragement to allow myself to be present in more playful ways
Widget Whiteberry: to consider that all expression can be play
Widget Whiteberry: still within the framework of my awareness of self
Widget Whiteberry: and it seems to result
Widget Whiteberry: in more creative expression
Widget Whiteberry: and more engagement with others
SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
Widget Whiteberry: or maybe
Widget Whiteberry: a lighter engagement with others
Pema Pera: that's great, Widget!
Widget Whiteberry: since I am typically engaging from the perspective of work
Pema Pera: and that is the only possible place to start
Widget Whiteberry: that's all for the moment
Pema Pera: I always enjoy starting from scratch, since we tend to run past the most basic insights -- I prefer to go really really slowly
Eliza Madrigal: maybe when we release that small self identification, that allows us to then enjoy all expression in the ways you mention
Widget Whiteberry nods
Pema Pera: so I'm happy to discuss how we might get from what you described, Widget, to something that I like to call Being
Widget Whiteberry nods
Pema Pera: yes Eliza, so the only small question is . . . how to do that :-)
Eliza Madrigal: so the relative and absolute would then yes... exist both
Pema Pera: yes
Eliza Madrigal: or not..yes such a small question Pema :)
Eliza Madrigal giggles
SophiaSharon Larnia: grins

Small questions and little steps...

Pema Pera: the funny thing is that from the relative point of view there is no absolute
Pema Pera: and from the absolute point of view all is absolute, also the relative, so there is no relative
Pema Pera: in other words, you can't get there from here
Pema Pera: so what to do?
Eliza Madrigal: so both would be openness.... something that can't be defined or pinned down
Eliza Madrigal: but pointed to? Being
Pema Pera: yes, theoretically, but how to experience that?
Eliza Madrigal: playing with appreciation?
Pema Pera: that would be one way, yes
Pema Pera: starting with playing as a self, as Widget described
Pema Pera: and to really appreciate the sense of self
Widget Whiteberry: ☆smiles☆
Eliza Madrigal nods
Pema Pera: and of other, and everything else that appears
Pema Pera: and THEN to switch in a number of small and easy steps
Pema Pera: switching from judgment and identification to the appreciation of those
Pema Pera: judgment has a function in life
Pema Pera: we can appreciate that
Pema Pera: we don't have to suppress that
Pema Pera: but we also don't have to buy into that
Pema Pera: we can use judgment as a tool
Pema Pera: so that's one little step
Eliza Madrigal: Today I considered that not sharing, is often judgementalism... that we prejudge others' in how they will hear us, etc.
Pema Pera: other steps are from appreciation to the presence of appreciation, and from there to really play as Being
SophiaSharon Larnia: interesting Eliza
Pema Pera: yes, Eliza!
--BELL--
Pema Pera: not sharing could be caused by fear or pride or uncertainty . . . . what do you think?
Eliza Madrigal: yes certainly those things
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes to all of those
Eliza Madrigal: taking ourselves and images very seriously
Eliza Madrigal: not trusting others' capacities
Eliza Madrigal: not seeing Being :)
Eliza Madrigal: WB Ya :)
Pema Pera: wb Yaku!
Yakuzza Lethecus: thx
Eliza Madrigal: Is there more you might say centering in on what inspires "Play as Being" inspires for you, Pema? And everyone of course...
Widget Whiteberry: feeling uncertain or out of step with the expression of the group
Pema Pera: in what way, Widget?
Eliza Madrigal: Hm, odd sentence what Play as Being inspires... should have read :)
Eliza Madrigal listening

Each Play as Being session is different, like the weather...

Widget Whiteberry: well, this morning, I am feeling in the flow of the conversation
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Widget Whiteberry: and my quiet is about attention rather than withholding
Widget Whiteberry: last night, I felt outside the flow of the conversation
Widget Whiteberry: and noticed - mostly -
Widget Whiteberry: all the comings and goings and settling in of the people around the pool
Eliza Madrigal: the sessions themselves are diverse expressions
Widget Whiteberry: this group uses words I am familiar with, but assigns meaning to those words that are new(ish) to me
Widget Whiteberry: hmm, yes Eliza
Pema Pera: each session can be quite different, indeed
Pema Pera: one of the charms of PaB :)
Widget Whiteberry: and some expressions of being are more interesting to me than others
Eliza Madrigal nods
Pema Pera: different personalities, different interactions between them, different moods, different topics
Widget Whiteberry: some evoke rather more frustration in me, and then a kind of withdrawing
Widget Whiteberry: so many ways to consider silence
Eliza Madrigal: MM :)
Pema Pera: the challenge of the "appreciation" practice is to see whether it is possible to appreciate all those diverse expressions of Play as Being . . . an interesting challenge in itself
Widget Whiteberry nods
Eliza Madrigal: I find that a fun part ... because the way I've heard various terms has changed so many times...very playfully
Pema Pera: frustration can also be appreciated
Pema Pera: a great teacher
Widget Whiteberry considers patience and persistence
Widget Whiteberry: ☆smiles☆
Widget Whiteberry: I seem to be able to engage more fully
Pema Pera: :)
Widget Whiteberry: when we are talking from and about experience
Widget Whiteberry: in this thoughtful way
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eliza Madrigal: The difference in sessions also gives one a chance to take many vantage points...
Eliza Madrigal: with one more talkative, another more quiet.
Pema Pera: yes, I think it is very important to regularly talk about and share our experience -- and yet it is also nice to sometimes just play and not worry about what to talk about; and yet to remain aware all along of Being
Widget Whiteberry nods
Pema Pera: PaB sessions are like the weather
Pema Pera: sometimes you wish you had brought an umbrella :)
Eliza Madrigal: haha
Widget Whiteberry: I wonder if I'll recognize play in this context
Eliza Madrigal: Sometimes I am IN a session, and reading it over it is completely different... "I see my name there, but Hmmm"
Pema Pera: it's a matter of participation, I think: recognizing more by sharing more
SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles
Widget Whiteberry nods
Pema Pera: haha, Eliza, yes, I know the feeling
Eliza Madrigal smiles

Appreciation excercize...

Pema Pera: shall we spend the next 90 second break by trying to appreciate the presence of whatever appears?
Eliza Madrigal nods yes sounds nice
Eliza Madrigal: everyone?
SophiaSharon Larnia: :)
Widget Whiteberry: yes
--BELL--
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Pema Pera: Would anyone like to share his/her experiences?
Eliza Madrigal: I would call that pause a kind of revelling... a sense of heavy clarity that started when Pema first talked about getting to presence
SophiaSharon Larnia: what appears before me, is the room before me, seen as colors, shapes and textures. The noises in the background. I keep thinking I'm not 'doing it right' :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: (afterward)
Widget Whiteberry nods
Pema Pera: Sophia, there is no "right" and "wrong" here . . . we start by simply watching what appears, and from what you wrote it seems you're doing fine :)
Pema Pera: perhaps you can also watch how you yourself appear in the room
Pema Pera: your body
Pema Pera: and also your mind
Pema Pera: your interests, frustrations, anything
Archmage Atlantis: That echoes what I was thinking/feeling about PaB, Pema
Archmage Atlantis: No right or wrong, only the experience
Eliza Madrigal: :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: heavy clarity Eliza?
Eliza Madrigal nods....
Widget Whiteberry: my questions too, Eliza
SophiaSharon Larnia: like coming into focus with a lens?
Widget Whiteberry: 'heavy clarity' seems potent with meaning
Eliza Madrigal: funny to describe...but yes... heavy but really clear as though light but not light like we tend to think of it
SophiaSharon Larnia: for me, like my eyes adjusting to the different perspective, but its a sharping of the mind, and takes a bit to get used to at first
Eliza Madrigal: Hmmm shaping of mind
Pema Pera: it is important not to try to force a different perspective
Archmage Atlantis: sharping or shaping, interesting contrast
Pema Pera: but if it happens, you can just be open to it, and appreciate it
Widget Whiteberry: please say more about how you are using 'light'
Eliza Madrigal: I remember driving along a few months ago and realizing that I could see farther ahead ... or rather was seeing farther ahead, than I thought was natural before
Widget Whiteberry: since I use it in multiple ways
Eliza Madrigal: it is like that
Eliza Madrigal: I think maybe we can only share notes in some ways?
Eliza Madrigal: we use metaphors but they break down... and what we're left with...
Pema Pera: there are so many ways of sharing
Widget Whiteberry: metaphorical light, Eliza?
Pema Pera: in some sense, each moment is totally new, and the sharing in that moment too
Eliza Madrigal: Sure :)
Pema Pera: btw, I'll have to leave now
Pema Pera: bye everybody!
Eliza Madrigal: Bye Pema, thanks so much for joining us and sharing today
Widget Whiteberry: As do I
Pema Pera: thanks so much for the conversation!
Eliza Madrigal: Bye Widget, Glad you came :)
--BELL--
Widget Whiteberry: tysm
SophiaSharon Larnia: lookBye Pema, Thank you :))
Yakuzza Lethecus: bye pema
Eliza Madrigal: Ya, still there? :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: bye everyone
Eliza Madrigal: Bye :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: -look (dont know where that came from)
Yakuzza Lethecus: ah, more less then more
SophiaSharon Larnia: lol Yakuzza
Yakuzza Lethecus: i just came home when i started SL
Eliza Madrigal: Ohhh so have to make yourself fresh ?
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Yakuzza Lethecus: lol, right :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: is there a different saying in the states if you need a shower ?
Eliza Madrigal: Hm, I like your phrasing
SophiaSharon Larnia: nope :))
Eliza Madrigal: Getting scrubbed up?
Eliza Madrigal: But I think I picked that up from a British film
Eliza Madrigal: hehe

We continue to talk about the process of sharing itself...

We have these excercizes and describe what we notice, and in that noticing we notice more. It is a delicate line: sharing... not interpretting... yet describing... learning to be be deeply honest with ourselves and each other... learning what that means. Hmm...

Yakuzza Lethecus: but sophia, i know what you mean with the focus of the lens :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: thats why i like sitting around and while nobody notice me quietly :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes, i didn't mean it to say i was putting a spin on what i see
Eliza Madrigal: No... not at all
SophiaSharon Larnia: thank you for saying you know what i meant
Eliza Madrigal: For me I think that is part of the process and play...
SophiaSharon Larnia: at first my eyes are like 'owww, that hurts' haha
Yakuzza Lethecus: lol
Eliza Madrigal smiles
SophiaSharon Larnia: metophorically
Eliza Madrigal nods
Eliza Madrigal: metaphors are wonderful, when you know they aren't the whole deal
Yakuzza Lethecus: most of the time i just don´t feel to have to proper words to describe my experiences
Eliza Madrigal: when you know that they are imperfect
Yakuzza Lethecus: thats why i even like other people talk about it
Archmage Atlantis: Take care all, enjoyed the session, ty everyone
Eliza Madrigal: an listen to each other that way
Yakuzza Lethecus: bye arch
Eliza Madrigal: Bye Arch
Yakuzza Lethecus: i always feel that i can´t exactly describe what i think
SophiaSharon Larnia: and takes time to adjust to it, the adjustment phase of anything new brings up its own emotional residue, fear, or despair, or keen interest and joy
Eliza Madrigal: I think we do a good job of that also... like with typos and language differences
Eliza Madrigal: Oooh so true SophiaSharon!
Yakuzza Lethecus: especially in the sunday session i didn´t know what to say at all and when something comes to mind it feels to distant and unrealated
Eliza Madrigal nods
SophiaSharon Larnia: bye Arch
Eliza Madrigal: me too Yakuzza
SophiaSharon Larnia: me 3
SophiaSharon Larnia: ;p
Eliza Madrigal: This kind of conversation about conversation and sharing seems important to what we do here... like the resistance topic
Eliza Madrigal: what holds us back?
SophiaSharon Larnia: its hard for me to type out my thoughts in a conversational format, when i write i do a lottt of editing, cut and pasting etc.
Eliza Madrigal nods
SophiaSharon Larnia: speach is different
Yakuzza Lethecus: right, you can´t delete speech :)
Eliza Madrigal: yes this is why I think Pema tries to bring us into email topics also... so we can write in longer stretches
SophiaSharon Larnia: speech*
SophiaSharon Larnia: well, its easier
Eliza Madrigal: For me, I consider my thinking too abstract sometimes... and I prejudge, as I mentioned, others judging me
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes, so true, that
Eliza Madrigal: I hear them in my mind, assigning motives
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: take care you both
Eliza Madrigal: Bye Ya :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: you too Yakuzza!
SophiaSharon Larnia: smiles
Eliza Madrigal: The writing is a good tool for bypassing the critic :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: ive done much much less of it lately
Eliza Madrigal: finding an ease?
SophiaSharon Larnia: so much less, i think ive been saying that for months
Eliza Madrigal: :)

Puppies gone wild...

SophiaSharon Larnia: yes!
SophiaSharon Larnia: like a pressure cooker, steam has to come out, and coming here and sharing, lets a lot of steam out, so less need to write
Eliza Madrigal: Hmm
SophiaSharon Larnia: i used to think that was sad, but not any more
Eliza Madrigal: a relief
SophiaSharon Larnia: i still makes notes to myself, in the car of wherever
Eliza Madrigal: writing because and when you enjoy it... not out of obsessive figuring out?
SophiaSharon Larnia: and talk to myself, to format paragraphs ;p
Eliza Madrigal: heheh
SophiaSharon Larnia: laughs
Eliza Madrigal talks to herself too why not
Eliza Madrigal: heheh
Eliza Madrigal: I'm finding fearlessness I think... but like an excited puppy I think I make splashes which bother others
SophiaSharon Larnia: yes, because i enjoy it
SophiaSharon Larnia: ha! loves the image of excited puppy
Eliza Madrigal: so distribution is important :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: there is true delight in splashing like that
Eliza Madrigal: Yes! In just letting yourself play
Eliza Madrigal: and that in itself says to others "Come on in, the water's fine"
Eliza Madrigal: That's what is unique about PaB to me.... it is often like a shared prayer or..
SophiaSharon Larnia: and such a tricky thing to tamper that down, because you dont want to annoy others
Eliza Madrigal: Hmmm
Eliza Madrigal: yes exactly
--BELL--
SophiaSharon Larnia: i tend to overburn, puppy gone wild
Eliza Madrigal giggles wildly
Eliza Madrigal nods... sometimes we make calls based on exaggerations
Eliza Madrigal: we amplify our fears
SophiaSharon Larnia: i have to log off for a while, so nice to talk to you :))
Eliza Madrigal: Bye for now and thanks for joining me this morning :)
SophiaSharon Larnia: bye for now!!

 Note:   Today was special for me...a hidden something I didn't mention. As it turned out this session was a real Gift which set me in the right frame of heart to appreciate it all.