Page last modified 10:22, 14 Dec 2010 by wol
2010.12.11 01:00 - I know I wasn't perfect then
Table of contents
No headersWol Euler was guardian and commenter for this session.
Wol Euler: hello yaku
Yakuzza Lethecus: guten morgen
Yakuzza Lethecus: cute furry btw :)
Wol Euler: ty :)
Wol Euler: it's my attempt at Bleu's new project to experiment wiht different appearances, since I already do male & female avs
Yakuzza Lethecus: did you ever tried to write apps for ur ipod ?
Wol Euler: no, too tricky for me and I never found a subject
Yakuzza Lethecus: i was actually thinking about that when riddle wrote the app for android, and ur also half a techie
Wol Euler: but only half :) I did look pretty closely at that, and found that I know none of the languages needed. That's too high an investment for me
Wol Euler: so my programming days are basically over, I guess.
Wol Euler: OTOH the office is talking about cutting back to 150 hours a month starting in January, so I'll have some spare time
Yakuzza Lethecus: do you see that positive ?
Wol Euler: it'll be good to have some spare time, yes, definitely
Wol Euler: but it's also a reality: as the building site progresses, we will have less and less to do with it
Wol Euler: and we don't yet have a follow-up project to work on
--BELL--
Yakuzza Lethecus: we also have a "urlaubssperre" for now
Yakuzza Lethecus: but only that we will be at home between the days
Yakuzza Lethecus: we have a lot to do still, if someone get's ill we might not be able to deliver in time
Wol Euler: huh
Yakuzza Lethecus: mysteries of the google translator: huh (April)
Wol Euler laughs.
Yakuzza Lethecus: in which language is huh april :)
Wol Euler: some brazilian rainforest tribe.
Wol Euler: though it actually means "bananaflower-blooming-time" :)
I brought up something that had been on my mind overnight.
Wol Euler: I have to say, I was a little disappointed with last night's 1pm session.
Wol Euler: Just when you finally started talking from the heart, without censoring yourself, people kept dragging us off-topic
Wol Euler: and then it ended in the middle of the conversatoin :(
Wol Euler: how did you see it?
Yakuzza Lethecus: it's always a little dilemma for me, there are aspects i would like to communicate about to see it from different angles
Yakuzza Lethecus: still we are in a network of social beings and disclosing information about past issues is a tricklish subject
Wol Euler nods.
Wol Euler likes "tricklish" :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: i've stolen the word :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: http://www.amazon.com/Ticklish-Subje.../dp/1859842917
Wol Euler: I'm sure it's coverd by "creative commons."
Yakuzza Lethecus: ah, it's ticklish there
Yakuzza Lethecus: not tricklish :)
Wol Euler: which is a word
Wol Euler: tricky + ticklish = tricklish :)
Wol Euler: nice
Yakuzza Lethecus: yes, that's how i ment it
Wol Euler smiles.
Individualism and influence.
Yakuzza Lethecus: a big aspect in the approach how i try to go through life is to gain a feeling of how change happened
Yakuzza Lethecus: how am i get influenced or others and does real individualism really exist
Wol Euler: :)
Wol Euler: perhaps virtual individualism is OK?
Yakuzza Lethecus: hehe, of course :)
Wol Euler: I was thinking about this on the way here (in Starbux again, the heating is off in my apt)
Yakuzza Lethecus: well, even the use of furries might not be true individualism or of different avatars in the sense how i understood it
Yakuzza Lethecus: being a cute avatar might shift a conversation positively since the first appearance triggers a different initial mood towards the person
Yakuzza Lethecus: and for me i was lately a bit scared that there was a transition away from this schema of the "curious german with somehow good english" into something more critically
Wol Euler: :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: but also i don't know if i made it up in my mind myself
Wol Euler: meinst du kritisch oder grenzwertig?
Wol Euler: für "critically"?
--BELL--
Yakuzza Lethecus: kritisch
Wol Euler: hello arch
Yakuzza Lethecus: hey arch
Yakuzza Lethecus: ur up very early
Wol Euler: we're having a follow-up to last night#s 1pm session
Archmage Atlantis: Hello, Wol
Archmage Atlantis: and 2 u 2 Yaku
Yakuzza Lethecus: well, i don't see it as a follow up to any session :)
Wol Euler chuckles.
Wol Euler: ok, it's a free-standing thing
Arch too has things on his mind.
Archmage Atlantis: tho you puzzle me Yaku
Archmage Atlantis: You are often here
Yakuzza Lethecus: more as an approach to view and reflect on what i was thinking about during the last month towards relationships and social behavior in secondlife
Archmage Atlantis: Yet you comment less
Wol Euler: do you fear losing your detachment? the PaB dropping of judgement?
Yakuzza Lethecus: i am often not sure how to learn to enagage discussions in a productive way
Archmage Atlantis: ty, it is blank for me, perhaps it will rezz
Yakuzza Lethecus: i go to places where i have the "feeling" that ppl are "seriously engaging any subject"
Yakuzza Lethecus: it doesn't matter even what, even contemplative stuff like pab :)
Wol Euler nods.
Yakuzza Lethecus: i come here habitually
Yakuzza Lethecus: so it's very likely to see me at 7am and 1pm sessions
Archmage Atlantis: I know
Yakuzza Lethecus: usually not at this time, sometimes on the weekend tho
Archmage Atlantis: That the 3 of us are here......that is interesting
Yakuzza Lethecus: but then it's often more chat and i feel relativly bad because i have thoughts related to pab but not that i feel be able to seriously being able to communicate everything
Archmage Atlantis: I suppose Albert willl show up sooon
Yakuzza Lethecus: you mean alfred ? :)
Archmage Atlantis: Perhaps, he is a box
Wol Euler: yaku, I encourage you to think back to the retreat :) You managed very well there.
Overcoming our inner stereotyper.
Yakuzza Lethecus: being more focused would be a goal for me, i see pab as an augmentation towards learning to communicate our own behavior and thoughts in relation to time and space
Yakuzza Lethecus: towards other ppl with whom we stereotype very fast or most of us
Yakuzza Lethecus: when i saw "buddist" i opened smiled and thoguht "what a new age jerk"
Yakuzza Lethecus: that's kind of the past
Wol Euler smiles.
Yakuzza Lethecus: pab for instance added levels
Wol Euler: that's good
Yakuzza Lethecus: i think i stay stereotyping
Yakuzza Lethecus: but on a different level
Yakuzza Lethecus: not at the exactly same things
Wol Euler: of course, we all do. But we can become aware of doing it, and try to reconsider waht we thought
Wol Euler: well, actually that we should think instead of stereotyping
Archmage Atlantis: My sense of you, Yaku, I you are fighting some part of yourself
Wol Euler: Eggsalad caught me out on that yesterday: I assume that people who drive Hummers are egotistical and arrogant, deliberately spoiling the environment and wasting resources
Yakuzza Lethecus: well, i am fighting doubt's if my approach is right, how to preserve activity and not getting a sense of wasting time while even thinking of wasting time is wasting time
Wol Euler: but maybe they just like ugly cars
Wol Euler: an aphorism: Nothing that brings enjoyment or change is wasted.
Yakuzza Lethecus: so the driver of the hummer was quiet nice ? :)
Archmage Atlantis: Maybe they live in a different life, Wol
Yakuzza Lethecus: well, games brought myself enjoyment even tho i never started any mmog
Wol Euler: I'm sure they do, Arch :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: still, there wasn't real progress it was a simple trigger of happyness that sucked time away
--BELL--
Yakuzza Lethecus: and had of course a lot of opportunity costs
Words of wisdom, and names of cats.
Archmage Atlantis: That others live in a different life, to me tha does not my life invalid, only different
Wol Euler: indeed, arch, very true.
Wol Euler: which is why I wonder about intolerance
Archmage Atlantis: I have spoken here about my alts, Bartram came
Archmage Atlantis: I tried to manifest Coyote tonight
Archmage Atlantis: He was not ready
Wol Euler listens.
Yakuzza Lethecus: thoughts this morning were: how to find educational games that are fun and don't cover only at maximum middleschool math, then a friend tempted me to take over an EVE online account
Yakuzza Lethecus: which i seriously considered or still have the opportunity to do so
Archmage Atlantis: I hear, Yakuzza
Yakuzza Lethecus: math logic and rationality are things i have a to improve i think
Archmage Atlantis: I do not have answeres
Wol Euler: is there a VHS near you?
Yakuzza Lethecus: 20km away
Wol Euler: (Volkshochschule = community college)
Yakuzza Lethecus: actually there is a closer one depending on the course
Yakuzza Lethecus: but my phil course is 20km away
Wol Euler: 20k isn't that bad, I feared it would be worse :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: it's about the abiitly to connect to the practices at any given time when i feel in that way and formal classes aren't what i am looking for
Archmage Atlantis: And Nimbus is climbing my leg, ouch
Yakuzza Lethecus: exploring the possibilites of the cloud
Wol Euler: :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: who selected the name of ur cat ?
Wol Euler: I see one as the precondition fo the other. You'll see connections more easily when you have a deeper understanding of the subject IMHO
Archmage Atlantis: Nimbus came to my last relationship"""""Sky was the Russin Blue cat
Archmage Atlantis: Sky to clouds
Archmage Atlantis: Nimbus was the first
Archmage Atlantis: after sky
Wol Euler: I sense a theme :)
Archmage Atlantis: then cirrus and stratus
Yakuzza Lethecus: any cumulus ? :)
Archmage Atlantis: ya think, wol?
Wol Euler grins.
Yakuzza Lethecus: barca spoke about the cloud appreciation society
Archmage Atlantis: cumulus is a dog name
--BELL--
Arch asks.
Archmage Atlantis: This is rude
Wol Euler raises an eyebrow.
Archmage Atlantis: But I do ask it
Wol Euler waits with bated breath.
Archmage Atlantis: Yaku, is there anyone in your life, I mean anyone....Nimbus, the parrokeets, the birds outside....my koi
Archmage Atlantis: They are with me
Yakuzza Lethecus: well, i live in the flat above my father and his girlfriend
Yakuzza Lethecus: so i see those every day but as i mentioned in a session last week, i might trust parental intentionality but not their always their judgement
Wol Euler smiles.
Archmage Atlantis: Ok, this is still rude
Yakuzza Lethecus: the problem the individual experiences are of course extemely different
Archmage Atlantis: How many years in rl ar you
Yakuzza Lethecus: 28
Archmage Atlantis: k, I m 599
Yakuzza Lethecus: that's old :)
Archmage Atlantis: 59
Yakuzza Lethecus: *joke* i know :)
Archmage Atlantis: Yea, I used to think so also
Wol Euler smiles.
Wol Euler: I remember coming into a new school at 15 (Canadian schools were segregated by age, that is hte transition from junior to senior school)
Wol Euler: I looked at the 18 yr olds who would be graduating, and thought them impossibly old
Archmage Atlantis: Now I talk to ppl here who are 68 and 98
Wol Euler: I couldn't imagine that I would ever be as old or as cool as they
Yakuzza Lethecus: well, i had a negative transition after i kind of failed a my computerscience highschool well i still had the "fachhochschulreife" but not the "job qualification" related to that
Yakuzza Lethecus: and i had redone 2 years at middle and highschool
Yakuzza Lethecus: so i lost about 4 years already at some point
Yakuzza Lethecus: when i calculate that what i am working right now i could have started working at age 19
Yakuzza Lethecus: when the jobtraining started at age 16
Archmage Atlantis: wow, trying to remember how I was long ago
Archmage Atlantis: I know I wasn't perfect then
Yakuzza Lethecus: ever since i am kind of unhappy since i thought i am motivated but don't know how to get used to emotions and and communicate thoughts
Archmage Atlantis: Yet I expected myself to be
--BELL--
Wol Euler looks at the time and sighs. I'm sorry, I need to be elsewhere at 11:30. *please* do continue, I look forward to reading the log (when I post it)
Wol Euler: bfn
Archmage Atlantis: May I invite you to my home, Yaku?
Yakuzza Lethecus: in hikari ?
Archmage Atlantis: Yes
Yakuzza Lethecus: i am not sure, it was already uncomfortable to talk about this
Archmage Atlantis: To sit an listen to the sanscrit chant
Yakuzza Lethecus: still it's bothering me
Archmage Atlantis: No talking
Yakuzza Lethecus: yes, that will be more relaxing
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