2009.04.15 19:00 - Sidestepping the ego

 

The Guardian for this meeting was stevenaia Michinaga. The comments are by stevenaia Michinaga.

stevenaia Michinaga: hello aural

aurel Miles: hi steve

stevenaia Michinaga: hi Lover, are you here for the meeting?

aurel Miles: hi everyone

stevenaia Michinaga: hello Tallulah

Tallulah Bourjade smiles

Tallulah Bourjade: hello

Peer Infinity: hi everyone :)

stevenaia Michinaga: hello Peer

stevenaia Michinaga: have you been here before Tallulah?

Corvuscorva Nightfire: Peer has been here before, and Tally is a friend of mine.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: I gave her the notecards and the warning..

stevenaia Michinaga: welcome

stevenaia Michinaga: warning, we have warnings?

Corvuscorva Nightfire: umm..Tally..do you mind if we post your words on the wiki?

stevenaia Michinaga: hello Sophia

Tallulah Bourjade: not at all -smiles-

SophiaSharon Larnia: Hi :)

Corvuscorva Nightfire grins...that warning

stevenaia Michinaga: oh, nods

Corvuscorva Nightfire: though perhaps we ought to have others.

Corvuscorva Nightfire laughs.

aurel Miles: may be

SophiaSharon Larnia: I feel really quiet today, I don't know why I come :P

Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles..sometimes i come here and don't say two words.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: just hi.

stevenaia Michinaga: I feel the void of empty pockets after paying my taxes, does that count?

SophiaSharon Larnia: yes it does Steve..yes Corvi lol

aurel Miles: bearing witness is as important as speaking

SophiaSharon Larnia: yes

SophiaSharon Larnia: it's this Seeing being, Being seeing..... me,

aurel Miles: maybe more important

stevenaia Michinaga: doesn't anyone have spare bunny ears, I feel underdressed

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods to Sophia..what about that?

stevenaia Michinaga: thank you

Corvuscorva Nightfire: hmm..it was all i could find

stevenaia Michinaga: more flopsie than perkie

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods

SophiaSharon Larnia: a pause... a stop... I can't say it in words yet

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods, listening.

stevenaia Michinaga: but it suits y moment

SophiaSharon Larnia: but it goes away the second i step into work

Corvuscorva Nightfire: ah!

SophiaSharon Larnia: what does being see, looking through my eyes

SophiaSharon Larnia: the world?

Corvuscorva Nightfire tilts my head, thoughtfully.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: i don't know.

stevenaia Michinaga: thinks for a moment

SophiaSharon Larnia: being is me, so what do I see?

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.

SophiaSharon Larnia: or is that a backwards way to look at it

Corvuscorva Nightfire: i don't' thinks so.

SophiaSharon Larnia: shrugs

stevenaia Michinaga: it gets crowded in here when being sees through my eyes

SophiaSharon Larnia laughs

stevenaia Michinaga: prefer to See Being Seeing

stevenaia Michinaga: no eyes needed

aurel Miles: but the third

stevenaia Michinaga: very much so

SophiaSharon Larnia: but that feels to me like 'stepping out of the way' so to speak, like trance channelers do

Corvuscorva Nightfire listens...

Corvuscorva Nightfire: we've talked alot here about getting ourselves out of the way

SophiaSharon Larnia: i feel that it's a conscious process

SophiaSharon Larnia: or should be

stevenaia Michinaga: more like getting our "stuff" out of the way

SophiaSharon Larnia: should*

Corvuscorva Nightfire: getting ourselves out of the way?

SophiaSharon Larnia: yes Steve

SophiaSharon Larnia: our egos anyway...but something doesn't feel right about that

stevenaia Michinaga: back to "stuff" the cobwebs that get in the way of clarity

Corvuscorva Nightfire: can you say more?

Corvuscorva Nightfire: about what doesn't feel right?

SophiaSharon Larnia: i can but know thins is recorded and hate to ramble lol

Corvuscorva Nightfire: I've learned more from other people's ramblings than from "experts"

stevenaia Michinaga: sometime rambling is so much more than you think

Corvuscorva Nightfire: so..i hope you'll be willing to ramble a bit.

stevenaia Michinaga: ..listens

SophiaSharon Larnia: sidestepping the ego seems to me to be not what we are supposed to do

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.

SophiaSharon Larnia: like we are to bring being into the physical world, which means in to our conscious awareness

stevenaia Michinaga: sidestepping? or dropping

SophiaSharon Larnia: sidestepping in the sense that the ego is disregarded and pushed aside

Corvuscorva Nightfire: mmm..hmm...

SophiaSharon Larnia: collectively, it is awareness, being awake, that seems the most important to me

Corvuscorva Nightfire: awareness! Awake!

SophiaSharon Larnia: awake in all sense of the word

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: that makes sense to me.

SophiaSharon Larnia: in physicality

SophiaSharon Larnia: 3d

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.

SophiaSharon Larnia: but! what do i know

Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.

stevenaia Michinaga: more and more :)

SophiaSharon Larnia: bringing something in, inviting

SophiaSharon Larnia: joining

stevenaia Michinaga: I see it more like making space for something else

SophiaSharon Larnia: yes

SophiaSharon Larnia: dropping cultural conditioning etc that hinders the process

Corvuscorva Nightfire: dropping the sense that "I" begins or stops "here"

stevenaia Michinaga: dusting the cobwebs away to see the hidden corners

SophiaSharon Larnia: :)

stevenaia Michinaga: inside

SophiaSharon Larnia: still trying to do that I have always gotten way ahead of my self

SophiaSharon Larnia: ego rather oops

stevenaia Michinaga: hard to see with stuff in the way, tripping over the tightly held things

SophiaSharon Larnia: but it is ricocheting in my head again, was glad to go to work

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods

stevenaia Michinaga: what sort of work do you do that quiets yo

stevenaia Michinaga: you

Corvuscorva Nightfire: I feel that way sometimes, too, Sophia.

SophiaSharon Larnia: it doesn't quiet me it distracts me

SophiaSharon Larnia: makes my mind too busy for anything else

stevenaia Michinaga: quiet can be a nice distraction, distraction can be a nice quiet too

SophiaSharon Larnia: so i am conflicted on what drop means too

stevenaia Michinaga: I seem to to be able to find quiet most places, sometimes even when the yelling around me is the loudest

SophiaSharon Larnia: yes I'm anurse i do that too

SophiaSharon Larnia: brb

stevenaia Michinaga: oh, a nurse

stevenaia Michinaga: must be this hat

SophiaSharon Larnia: what must be the hat Steve?

stevenaia Michinaga: that I thought anurse was a something I didn;t understand

SophiaSharon Larnia: lol

SophiaSharon Larnia: my typing gets worse the harder i try sorries

stevenaia Michinaga: well mine never gets better

stevenaia Michinaga: (typing)

Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: all that practice...and still..

aurel Miles is falling asleep - not feeling well tonight, i think i'll be off

stevenaia Michinaga: thanks for joining us

SophiaSharon Larnia: night :)

aurel Miles: goodnight all

Corvuscorva Nightfire: g'night, Aurel!

Corvuscorva Nightfire: Sleep well.

stevenaia Michinaga: night Aurel

SophiaSharon Larnia: i am just so angry, at the state of the world, humanity etc etc...and sense this divine presence which for some reason makes me angrier

SophiaSharon Larnia: what to do

stevenaia Michinaga: to start, let go of the anger

stevenaia Michinaga: my tai Chi teacher told us a story

stevenaia Michinaga: she called it "kick the cat"

SophiaSharon Larnia: ill kick something but maybe not the cat

stevenaia Michinaga: Starts like this....

stevenaia Michinaga: driving to work someone cuts you off.... so you get angry

stevenaia Michinaga: so you drive a bit faster , cut someone else off

stevenaia Michinaga: the get to work annoyed and make their staff miserable

stevenaia Michinaga: miserable staff has a bad day, goes home angry, yells about dinner and the kids

stevenaia Michinaga: the kid run upstairs and kick the cat

stevenaia Michinaga: the point is... not being angry has profound and far reaching benefits

SophiaSharon Larnia: yes i understand

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods to Sophia

Corvuscorva Nightfire: understanding does NOT make it different

SophiaSharon Larnia: not all of the anger in mine

SophiaSharon Larnia: is*

SophiaSharon Larnia: no it doesn't

stevenaia Michinaga: and the inverse works too... smile lightens the hearts of many

Corvuscorva Nightfire: it's not that easy for most of us, Stevie.

stevenaia Michinaga: nods, but telling stories is just a start

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.

stevenaia Michinaga: I always wonder how much gets solved through anger

SophiaSharon Larnia: this is what happens when the walls start to thin, angry

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.

SophiaSharon Larnia: nothing does

stevenaia Michinaga: but to listen to the quiet when you are angry, take that 9 second break and see, sometimes help

stevenaia Michinaga: s

SophiaSharon Larnia: :)

Corvuscorva Nightfire: so..when the walls thin, you feel angry.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: do you mean..as you meditate?

SophiaSharon Larnia: not at the time, but it does make me feel closer to my feelings

SophiaSharon Larnia: later

Corvuscorva Nightfire: ah!

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.

SophiaSharon Larnia: i do have to go :)) talking about this right now is difficult

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.

SophiaSharon Larnia: hopefully will be clearer later

stevenaia Michinaga: thanks Sophia

SophiaSharon Larnia: have a great night!

Corvuscorva Nightfire: bye!

stevenaia Michinaga: what did she mean about walls thinning?

Corvuscorva Nightfire: you'll have to ask her..i can tell you what I'd

Corvuscorva Nightfire: ve meant if i said it.

stevenaia Michinaga: the separation between things.... nods

Corvuscorva Nightfire: but not what she meant.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: letting my emotional self be.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: experiencing myself.

Tallulah Bourjade: emotions are hard to deal with though, so it is safer at times to ... separate from them. Sometimes they are so overwhelming it is suffocating

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.

Tallulah Bourjade: ^suffocating -has fingers faster than her mind-

Corvuscorva Nightfire: yes.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: 9 second meditations have been helpful to me that way.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: because three breaths isn't so long to experience tough things.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: i can stand that.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: and...eventually..i have let go of some of them.

stevenaia Michinaga: tough things?

Tallulah Bourjade: but it takes ... longer than 3 breaths to calm again

Tallulah Bourjade: for me

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods...it took some practice.

stevenaia Michinaga: calm is something that the more you se it, the easier it is to et there the next time, yes

stevenaia Michinaga: *get

Tallulah Bourjade: hmmm

Corvuscorva Nightfire nods to Tally.

stevenaia Michinaga: of course, it took Corvi only 4 words to say the same thing

Tallulah Bourjade grins

Corvuscorva Nightfire laughs and hits you with a pillow.

stevenaia Michinaga: that was a compliment

Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles, nods.

Corvuscorva Nightfire: i know..but you were due a little pillow hitting.

stevenaia Michinaga: Time for me to go

stevenaia Michinaga: thank you for coming

stevenaia Michinaga: feel free to stick around

Tallulah Bourjade: time for me to go as well

Corvuscorva Nightfire: ah

Corvuscorva Nightfire: bye, Stevie, Tally