2009.07.23 19:00 - Playing with the 9-second pause - What's the magic word?

The Guardian for this meeting was Sylectra Darwin. The comments are by Sylectra Darwin.

Nymf Hathaway: Hello Solobill :)
Solobill Laville: Hi there, Nymf!
Solobill Laville: Is this your session?
Nymf Hathaway: No
Solobill Laville: ah :)
Solobill Laville: I just read your profile; nice :)
Nymf Hathaway: well thank you :)
--BELL--
Solobill Laville: many barriers do indeed vanish here in SL
Nymf Hathaway: Yes one of the best things :)
Solobill Laville: mm hmm
Solobill Laville: dangerous for the judgers...
Solobill Laville: ..but then again, they may not care anyway! hehe
Nymf Hathaway: I think the question is... do we care? :)
Solobill Laville doesn't care
Solobill Laville: So, have you done any of the PaB practices?
Solobill Laville: Heya, Syl :)
Sylectra Darwin: hiya!
Nymf Hathaway: Hello Sylectra :)
Sylectra Darwin: good to see you guys!
Solobill Laville: How've you been?
Sylectra Darwin: busy! But good! How are things with you?
Solobill Laville: Well, thanks
Sylectra Darwin: How about you, Nymf?
Nymf Hathaway: should be in bed but couldn't sleep
Solobill Laville: I had just put Nymf on the spot by asking about her PaB practices...
Sylectra Darwin: aww
Sylectra Darwin: hehe
Solobill Laville: (sorry, Nymf)
Nymf Hathaway: No prob :)
Sylectra Darwin: naughty Solobill.
Solobill Laville: I know, I know
Solobill Laville: All business :)
Sylectra Darwin: Indeed.
Sylectra Darwin: So tonight we're supposed to have a theme session.
Solobill Laville: Ooh
Solobill Laville: Is this your session, Syl?
Sylectra Darwin: yes
Sylectra Darwin: But Vajra was going to do the theme session
Sylectra Darwin: Pema asked me last week, but maybe there has been a change.
Solobill Laville: Ah
Sylectra Darwin: Any discussions are welcome here, so if they come later, that's good.
Sylectra Darwin: So I will answer the question you posed Nymf, by way of full disclosure :)
Solobill Laville: I am a bit out of things right now, PaB-wise
Solobill Laville: Ooh, Yay!
Solobill Laville is all ears
Sylectra Darwin: Funny image.
Nymf Hathaway: smiles
Sylectra Darwin: I don't do the practice as often as I should.
Solobill Laville: I'm sure there is an av of that somewhere...
Solobill Laville: Sorry, go ahead
Sylectra Darwin: Maybe once a day or so.
Solobill Laville: Which practice?
Sylectra Darwin: I think it would help me to do it more.
Nymf Hathaway: Hello Eos
Sylectra Darwin: The 15-minute bell
Solobill Laville nods
Eos Amaterasu: HI all!
Solobill Laville: Hi Eos
Solobill Laville: :)
Sylectra Darwin: Hi Eos!

I wanted to discuss the basics and reconsider them as if for the first time, so I posed a question to Solobill.

Sylectra Darwin: Solobill, pretend I am a complete newbie.
Solobill Laville: Ah, er, OK
Sylectra Darwin: Tell me why I would want to try the practice.
Solobill Laville: Often we miss what is right in front of us
Solobill Laville: And often it is quite beautiful
Sylectra Darwin: nods
Solobill Laville: The nine seconds is a practice in mindfulness, being present
Solobill Laville: A little bit at a time
Sylectra Darwin: yes
Solobill Laville: And with repetition - practice - becomes easier
Sylectra Darwin: Welcome back, Eos.
Nymf Hathaway: Welcome back Eos
Solobill Laville: Until things become more in your field of your mind's eye, more often
Eos Amaterasu: :-)
Solobill Laville: wb Eos
--BELL--
Sylectra Darwin: Well said, Solobill.
Nymf Hathaway: should re-focus again... I was well on my way with the nine seconds but my busy life took over again, maybe thats why I couldn't sleep as well :(
Solobill Laville: I generally meditate at night; a huge sleep helper I find
Nymf Hathaway: heard such more often :)
Solobill Laville: Pema said something a few weeks back
Solobill Laville: about sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon
Solobill Laville: If all you think about is how much you want a hamburger, you won't see it
Solobill Laville: Or think about regretting saying something in the past
Solobill Laville: Or reading your Blackberry (my words there)
Sylectra Darwin: That's a good example.
Solobill Laville: All of those things help you miss it
Solobill Laville: PaB practice helps you to see it
Solobill Laville: baby steps :)
Sylectra Darwin: Monkey mind, isn't that one way to describe it?
Solobill Laville: oh, yes
Sylectra Darwin: I like to think of it as monkey mind - because it seems a comical and loving way of thinking about it.
Solobill Laville: Vs. mind-like-water
Solobill Laville: yes, and so true too I think, hehe
Solobill Laville: That is my take on PaB anyway..
Solobill Laville shrugs
Sylectra Darwin: I do best when I have a gentle sense of humor about my states of distraction, like, Oh, there goes my silly mind, racing ahead of the present again. Hi! Come on back!
Eos Amaterasu: "the pause that refreshes"
Solobill Laville: yep

We talked about the process of fitting the mindfulness exercises into a busy workday, and some of the difficulties inherent in doing so. Then we came up with a playful idea for inserting it into business meetings and enjoyed imagining that.

Sylectra Darwin: I would love to get the chime when I am talking to a lawyer client during my workday.
Solobill Laville: I think that gentleness is important, Syl
Sylectra Darwin: I should install it on my work computer.
Sylectra Darwin: me too. It's why I am so tired these days.
Eos Amaterasu: I use my iPone clock app
Eos Amaterasu: *iPhone
Solobill Laville: Ha! I had to take it off for those reasons!
Sylectra Darwin: I had one on my phone but it malfunctioned.
Sylectra Darwin: My lawyers are used to battle so sometimes they come after me, when I haven't done them any harm at all.
Eos Amaterasu: It would be interesting to buld it into social situations
Eos Amaterasu: (like the one we're in)
Sylectra Darwin: Sometimes the salespeople do too. It's a hard environment in which to feel a sense of peace.
Solobill Laville: Build it in how, Eos?
Eos Amaterasu: I was just recalling another analogy to what we're doing that came up in another session - the 5 times daily call to prayer in Islam.
Eos Amaterasu: Or more mundanely like as part of meeting structures.
Eos Amaterasu: where you say ahead of time there will be little gaps.
Solobill Laville: Oh, that would be great.
Solobill Laville: You can still do that solo, of course.
Solobill Laville: but I love that idea, in a meeting...great
Sylectra Darwin: Or at the lunch table in the cafeteria.
Solobill Laville: yes!
Solobill Laville: Appreciation is a big part of it
Eos Amaterasu: (Nice thing that SL has scripting support)
Solobill Laville: And that brings people closer
Nymf Hathaway: Good afternoon Pila :)
Sylectra Darwin: hey Pila.
Eos Amaterasu: Hi Pila
Pila Mulligan: hi, pardon the walk thru :)
Solobill Laville: Hey Pila
Solobill Laville: Hey Steve
stevenaia Michinaga: Hello
Eos Amaterasu: HI Stevenaia
Sylectra Darwin: Stevie!
Sylectra Darwin: hiya.
Eos Amaterasu hears things
Pila Mulligan: hi everyone
Eos Amaterasu: we were talking about the 9 secs in social situations
Pila Mulligan: :)
Pila Mulligan: Rl and SL?
stevenaia Michinaga: hmm, group of PaBers or strangers?
Nymf Hathaway: Hello Stevenaia :)
stevenaia Michinaga: Hello Nymf
Eos Amaterasu: both RL & SL, & with PaBers and non....
--BELL--
Sylectra Darwin: We were considering both.
Sylectra Darwin: It would of course be easier if at a meeting to take 9 secs if everyone was in on the idea and willing to try it.
Pila Mulligan: there is something somewhat similar to the 9 second pause in I Ching chapter 31 (this Web site has many forms of the text for this work), and I've done that one for many years -- no one has ever noticed it (the pause) in a social setting as far as I can tell.
Sylectra Darwin: But it might also be interesting to see what happens if some of the participants are in the know and some aren't.
Sylectra Darwin: Pila, tell us more.
Pila Mulligan: I think a pause slips by very easily :)
Eos Amaterasu: As well, the 9 secs can be conveyed through or in artistic, mythic, game-like etc. forms.

Eos' comment is thought-provoking and a fun idea for possible future exploration. Can the 9 second pause be like a game or an art project and still retain its intent?  We went on to talk about using specific feelings or other outside stimuli to signal that it is time for a brief mindfulness break.

Eos Amaterasu: Chapter 31?
Pila Mulligan: the second yao (verse) of gua (chapter) 31 in the I ching says if you feel an influfence on your calf, tarry to avoid misfortune -- it has to do with balance.
Pila Mulligan: so when I feel it i pause
Pila Mulligan: no one notices :)
Solobill Laville: :)
Solobill Laville: Center
Pila Mulligan: quoting: "Mutual influence on one's calves. Misfortune. Tarrying, good fortune"
Sylectra Darwin: But what was your trigger to go into that mindfulness in the midst of conversation?
Pila Mulligan: me Syl?
Sylectra Darwin: yes
Pila Mulligan: The feeling of a kind of energy connecting with the calf.
Eos Amaterasu wonders if that is like the drag of the wheels (discussed in previous session) that gets you "into the field"
Pila Mulligan: it is not mystical :)
Pila Mulligan: maybe Eos, I had not thought of it, but it could be
Sylectra Darwin: how interesting.
Pila Mulligan: balancing the pace
Sylectra Darwin: For me it would be a feeling of tightness around the eyes, or an ache in the knees to indicate I'd sat working for too long.
Pila Mulligan: :)
Eos Amaterasu: Could be like those games where on signal everybody freezes
Eos Amaterasu: We could do it at a PaBing party
Solobill Laville: It is a common practice at many retreats
Solobill Laville: When you are doing labor, a bell will chime to remind you to be mindful
Solobill Laville: Everyone freezes and centers
Eos Amaterasu: "recognition is easy; remembering is hard"
Solobill Laville: But, yes, they're all in the know...
Sylectra Darwin: smiles
Sylectra Darwin: I'll brb
Eos Amaterasu: Yes, sometimes you don't have to spell it out
Eos Amaterasu: and it still comes across
Eos Amaterasu: that's the best :-)
Nymf Hathaway: wishing everyone a good session...will try to get some sleep, thanks everyone
Solobill Laville: Night, Nymf
Pila Mulligan: sweet dreams, Nymf
Eos Amaterasu: !^_^!
--BELL--
Pila Mulligan: almost 5 am for Nymf
Solobill Laville: Whoa, really?
Sylectra Darwin: back
Sylectra Darwin: It's sort of the opposite of that game on PeeWee's Playhouse where, if he says the secret word, everybody cheers.
Solobill Laville: Hmmm...so what's the word?
Sylectra Darwin: I was just wondering that...:)
Solobill Laville: :)
Sylectra Darwin: Eos, you have an opinion?
Sylectra Darwin: Steven?
Eos Amaterasu: "appreciate the presence of appearance"
Sylectra Darwin: hehehe
Sylectra Darwin: that's a long one.
Sylectra Darwin: I think the idea was something which would come up unexpectedly or randomly in conversation.
Eos Amaterasu: a friend of mine had a parrot that said, "wake up!"
Sylectra Darwin: Good one.
Solobill Laville: nice
Eos Amaterasu: (I guess we could script that in SL :-)
Sylectra Darwin: Hi Jeena
Sylectra Darwin: Want to join us?
jeena Cyberstar: hello sylectra and all
jeena Cyberstar: yes
Solobill Laville: Hi Jeena
Solobill Laville: :)
Eos Amaterasu: Hi Jeena
Sylectra Darwin: Jeena, have you been here before?
jeena Cyberstar: hi so what's the topic?
jeena Cyberstar: yes been twice before
Sylectra Darwin: cool...we've been kind of playful this evening.
jeena Cyberstar: cool
Sylectra Darwin: We're talking about "secret words" which might remind us to go into the 9-second moment.
Sylectra Darwin: Remember Pee Wee's Playhouse?
jeena Cyberstar: hahaa
jeena Cyberstar: yes
Sylectra Darwin: The Secret Word would make everyone cheer?
jeena Cyberstar: ok..so what's the word?
Sylectra Darwin: Well we were just trying to make up our minds about that.
jeena Cyberstar: let's see...
Eos Amaterasu: I the Woody Allen movie, it was "Constantinople"
Sylectra Darwin: LOL
jeena Cyberstar: how about ? "QUIET!"
Sylectra Darwin: Eos has some great ones tonight.
jeena Cyberstar: haha
Sylectra Darwin: excellent!
jeena Cyberstar: let's hear them all
Sylectra Darwin: "dream"
Eos Amaterasu: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0256524/
jeena Cyberstar: i might sleep
Sylectra Darwin: From Eos: "appreciate the presence of appearance"
jeena Cyberstar: take too long to type..by time finish 90 seconds up lol
jeena Cyberstar: is it break time already? lol
Solobill Laville: I think I'll wish you all a goodnight :)
jeena Cyberstar: how about this....we don't need a time out because the lag takes care of that!
Sylectra Darwin: good night, Solobill!
jeena Cyberstar: goodnight solobil...something i said? lol
Eos Amaterasu: 'night
Sylectra Darwin: haha, Jeena!
Solobill Laville: No, Jeena, just beddy by time ! :)
Sylectra Darwin: Solobill is prompt.
jeena Cyberstar: ok hehe
Solobill Laville: Night, All :)
jeena Cyberstar: night night
Sylectra Darwin: see you soon I hope Solobill.
stevenaia Michinaga: Pila just emailed me and send his regrets as he has crashed
Eos Amaterasu: Time for me to crash (in another sense) - good night!
stevenaia Michinaga: night Eos
--BELL--
Eos Amaterasu: ^_^
jeena Cyberstar: seems to be a epidemic around here crashing/leaving same difference
stevenaia Michinaga: Nice seeing you again Jeena
jeena Cyberstar: likewise stevenaia
stevenaia Michinaga: I actually have to do some work
stevenaia Michinaga: see you soon
jeena Cyberstar: lol ok
Sylectra Darwin: you leaving too Stevie?
jeena Cyberstar: bye bye
stevenaia Michinaga: nods, you know whee to find me
Sylectra Darwin: He's all work and no play now that he's back from vacation.
Sylectra Darwin: night Steve :)
jeena Cyberstar: haha
stevenaia Michinaga: grins
Sylectra Darwin: nice exit (jumps up and through the roof)
jeena Cyberstar: no kiddin
jeena Cyberstar: soooo how long have you been here sylectra?
Sylectra Darwin: in PaB?
jeena Cyberstar: yes
Sylectra Darwin: About a year, maybe more
jeena Cyberstar: wow really?
jeena Cyberstar: so a lot of good topics then i assume?
Sylectra Darwin: oh yes!
Sylectra Darwin: How about you?
jeena Cyberstar: welll this is just my 3rd time here so far....been on SL for couple months now
Sylectra Darwin: cool :)
Sylectra Darwin: We have had some discussions that stayed realistic, like about anger and stress...
jeena Cyberstar: oh that's a good topic
Sylectra Darwin: And we have also had some that were really out there, like perception and being and the nature of space/time
jeena Cyberstar: especially in these times
Sylectra Darwin: Most of the time we stay in between the two, and talk about mindfulness, compassion, perception of reality.
jeena Cyberstar: i think that's what drew me here...stumbled on a really interesting topic like that...i love discussing things that are hard to discuss
Sylectra Darwin: You're in the right place!
Sylectra Darwin: I hope that you keep coming back.
jeena Cyberstar: yay!!
jeena Cyberstar: yes i plan to
Sylectra Darwin: It was sure fun to talk with you
jeena Cyberstar: likewise...leaving too?
Sylectra Darwin: My doggie is desperately trying to get my attention so I take her out.
jeena Cyberstar: alrighty :)
Sylectra Darwin: sorry, reality calls. :)
jeena Cyberstar: totally understand
jeena Cyberstar: i'll just sit and meditate for a bit :)
Sylectra Darwin: perfect. Have a lovely evening, Jeena.
jeena Cyberstar: thanks you too!
Sylectra Darwin: thanks