The Guardian for this meeting was Bruce Mowbray. The comments are by Bruce Mowbray.

A relaxed and gentle session with Kori, Boxy, and me.  Started off discussing "competition" and ended up talking about a serial rapist friend of mine doing 5 consecutive life sentences.

Bruce Mowbray: Hey, Kori -- you competitive gal, you!
Korel Laloix: I am THE competitive gal.
Korel Laloix smiles
Bruce Mowbray: I loved reading your comments this week.
Korel Laloix: Can we move the pavilion to a beach?
Bruce Mowbray: Hey, Boxy!
Korel Laloix: Oh thanks.
Korel Laloix: I just have a different world view than most around here, I think.
Bruce Mowbray: I have found competition of all sorts rather beyond my capacity.
Korel Laloix: There are competitions that I have no chance at, so I don't compete in them
Korel Laloix: You have to choose your battles.

--BELL--

Bruce Mowbray: Yes, as I have told friends for decades, There are many "sports" in which I do not participate.
Korel Laloix: And if you let your self-worth take a hit because someone can out-sing or out-earn you, that is your own issue.
Bruce Mowbray: Indeed!
Bruce Mowbray: That's why I keep saying that competition can be an "identity" issue.
Korel Laloix: Do tell what you mean please.
Bruce Mowbray: Sure!
Bruce Mowbray: If I think that WHO I AM depends on whether I win or lose, then I am deceiving myself.
Bruce Mowbray: That also makes a separation. . . that I feel is deceptive.
Bruce Mowbray: But when I watch others competing, it sometimes seems as if they BELIEVE the results of the "battle."
Korel Laloix: There is a good point that society tries to force some aspects that are unhealthy on us.
Bruce Mowbray: Yes.
Bruce Mowbray: I felt this powerfully in childhood...
Bruce Mowbray: in school.... sports -- especially rough on boys.
Bruce Mowbray: The BIG GUYS always won!
Korel Laloix: I think the problem lies more in sore winners not losers though.
Bruce Mowbray: And there formed two cultures -- those of us who veered toward the cerebral, and those who veered toward the body.
Bruce Mowbray: and that was sad all the way around.
Korel Laloix: Yes.. there is power in bulk.
Bruce Mowbray: It has taken me decades to find my way to "compromise... or consensus"
Korel Laloix: But the richest people on the planet are NOT large people.
Korel Laloix: Your way to consensus?
Bruce Mowbray: ... and a whole lot of my life was spent trying to compensate, in one way or another.
Korel Laloix: I think we all try to.
Bruce Mowbray: I have no interest in riches, actually.
Korel Laloix: Just a matter of balance.
Bruce Mowbray: Yes. Finding a balance.
Korel Laloix: I work with a lot of very rich people.. and most are idiots or miserable or both.
Bruce Mowbray: I love the "embodiment" principle, though.
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, I know what you mean.
Korel Laloix: Do tell me about that, please.
Bruce Mowbray: Well, it is often the case in meditation groups that a leader will direct your attention to the body.
Bruce Mowbray: The body -- or so it is said -- does not "lie."
Bruce Mowbray: I think this is also your experience, Kori.
Bruce Mowbray: You have spoken of the need to get into motion in order to slow down.
Bruce Mowbray: Finding stillness through running or through biking.
Bruce Mowbray: [done]
Korel Laloix: Yes.
Korel Laloix: OK.
Korel Laloix: I think I see what you mean.
Bruce Mowbray: I didn't know that stillness until I took an advanced swimming course as a senior in college.
Bruce Mowbray: and we had to swim half a mile for the final.
Bruce Mowbray: . . . later I found it again when I walked across America alone.
Bruce Mowbray: But neither of those experiences involved competition.
Korel Laloix: Agreed.
Korel Laloix: I do not find my running competitions relaxing or clearing.
Korel Laloix: That is focus.
Bruce Mowbray: Ahhh . . . but when you run alone. . . then, it is clearing?
Korel Laloix: Breathing control.. hyper watchfulness for the ground, other runners.
Korel Laloix: Very different from when I run alone.
Bruce Mowbray: Hmmmm.
Bruce Mowbray: Fascinating.
Bruce Mowbray: I would engage in contact sports --
Bruce Mowbray: (if I were much younger)
Bruce Mowbray: to find the intimacy there.
Korel Laloix: The only thing I do like that is toy with Roller Derby.. a great crowd.
Korel Laloix: But I don't' have the time to actually do league.
Bruce Mowbray: I am envious of the intimacy that soldiers and wrestlers seem to feel.
Korel Laloix: Not sure about he wrestlers.
Bruce Mowbray: Perhaps roller derby folks also feel it.
Korel Laloix: But I will say that my two semesters in ROTC were full of really close relationships.
Korel Laloix: It is great fun.
Bruce Mowbray: Wonderful!

--BELL--

Korel Laloix: You might look at your local league.. they usually need refs.
Bruce Mowbray: Eos said this: "the downside of competition is the absolute ego it can engender from relative betterness. of course a lot of competition is identity and ego jockeying"
Bruce Mowbray: but I don't think it HAS to be that.
Bruce Mowbray: In fact, I feel that if one is "into" ego-jockeying, then that person will find arenas EVERYWHERE for that.
Korel Laloix: And I do think a lot of dislike of competition is a bit of jealousy.
Korel Laloix: Sort of a passive aggressive thing.
Bruce Mowbray: Boxy seems to enjoy sitting to watch the trains go by.
 Bruce Mowbray: Reminds me of the movie "Trainspotting."http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117951/
Korel Laloix: Trying to claim the high moral ground above competitors.
Bruce Mowbray ponders "high moral ground." 
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Korel Laloix: The people that don't want to give school grades.
Korel Laloix: Because it might lead people to think they are better or worse.
Korel Laloix: What use will that do when they grow up?
Bruce Mowbray: Well, if you're looking for competition in the typing arena, then I'd suggest you find a better competitor than moi.
Korel Laloix: Ok... come over her boxy.. smiles
Bruce Mowbray: Is ego-strength dependent upon winning, though?
Bruce Mowbray: sense of coherent self, and all that?
Bruce Mowbray: Do we really need to connect with the "competitive high"?
Bruce Mowbray: be inspired by it?
Bruce Mowbray: I think perhaps so.
Korel Laloix: Inspired is the word.. not addicted.
Bruce Mowbray: yes, inspired and not addicted.
Korel Laloix: And I just can't stand the idea of us all being the same either.
Korel Laloix: How boring, unproductive and fundamentally dishonest that is.
Bruce Mowbray: You said, "Be more creative, more focused, more productive."
Bruce Mowbray: and that competition enables this to happen.
Korel Laloix: Allows us to figure out each others strengths and weaknesses.
Bruce Mowbray: One of my childhood phobias was team sports.
Bruce Mowbray: and that was REALLY a phobia.
Korel Laloix: If I am making a team, I want to know what people are good and better at.
Bruce Mowbray: I clearly remember when of the guys playing on the field stopped everything and came up to me -- (4th grade)
Bruce Mowbray: sitting on the sidelines --
Bruce Mowbray: and asked me to join his team.
Bruce Mowbray: That was one of the highest points in my childhood.
Bruce Mowbray: (although he may have regretted it later!)
Korel Laloix: That is a situation that I really can't say I fully understand.
Bruce Mowbray: I was self-identified as an 'outsider' and a 'loser.'
Korel Laloix: I always ran as my PE.
Bruce Mowbray: not worthy of playing.
Korel Laloix: So never did the team thing like that.
Bruce Mowbray: This happens to a lot of kids, I think.
Korel Laloix: Yes, but those guys may not have been good for the math or debate team.
Bruce Mowbray: So, maybe you're a sort of athletic hermit?
Bruce Mowbray: Well, it did seem to create two cultures...
Bruce Mowbray: and in high school -- years later,
Bruce Mowbray: it amazed me that the "smart" kids could also be outstanding athletes.
Korel Laloix: Yes.. but not always the case.
Bruce Mowbray: One of the "smart kids" in my high school - in fact - was a state wrestling champ --
Bruce Mowbray: and he ended up in Halifax, Nova Scotia...
Bruce Mowbray: in the Shambhala group there...
Korel Laloix: To be really really good at any sport, you have to be smart regardless.
Bruce Mowbray: and Eos knew him personally.
Korel Laloix: Just maybe not in an academic way.
Bruce Mowbray: Ahhh! That's a very good point.

--BELL--

Bruce Mowbray: You have to be body-smart.
Bruce Mowbray: Here is a web-page about him.
Bruce Mowbray: http://www.chronicleproject.com/ben_pontius/pontius.html
Bruce Mowbray: Ben Pontius
Bruce Mowbray: Ben was in my kindergarten class -- and all the way through high school.
Alfred Kelberry: hi guys
Bruce Mowbray: Hey, Boxy!
Alfred Kelberry: so long France! expectedly beaten by Spain
Bruce Mowbray: Ohhhhh!
Bruce Mowbray: How is Portugal doing?
Korel Laloix: Fun.
Korel Laloix: Is there a game today?
Bruce Mowbray: [speaking of competition]
Bruce Mowbray loves the Europeans' love of futbol.
Alfred Kelberry: Portugal not so well... they're playing Spain now :)
Bruce Mowbray: kk....
Bruce Mowbray: Give us a report when you have one, OK?
Alfred Kelberry: sure thing
Bruce Mowbray: ty!
Alfred Kelberry: tomorrow: England - Italy
Bruce Mowbray: That will be a good game!
Alfred Kelberry: i send my well wishes to Mick :)
Bruce Mowbray: Oh yeah.
Bruce Mowbray: Londoner Mick.
Alfred Kelberry: he certainly will be watching. perhaps in a pub :)
Korel Laloix: Enjoy.
Bruce Mowbray: In America, we refer to that as a "sports bar," but it's really a whole different experience over there.
Korel Laloix: I will be competitive in how apathetic I am toward football of any sort.
Bruce Mowbray: British pubs are an institution to be loved.
Alfred Kelberry: kori, you remind me of Pocahontas in this swimsuit :)
Bruce Mowbray: It is really soccer, Kori -- not our football.
Korel Laloix: Why?
Korel Laloix: I know.
Alfred Kelberry: kori, visual resemblance
Bruce Mowbray: heh heh!
Bruce Mowbray: I agree, Boxy!
Korel Laloix: Both are hyper-boring.
Bruce Mowbray: Tell the Europeans how "boring" their futbol is... Heh heh.
Bruce Mowbray: Oh my!
Korel Laloix: Not as boring as watching golf.
Bruce Mowbray rushes to get his camera and remembers "Bowling for Dollars" on TV.

Korel Laloix: Better?
Alfred Kelberry: :)
Bruce Mowbray: Perfect!
Bruce Mowbray: You'll be in the wiki tonight, Kori!
Korel Laloix: lol...
Korel Laloix: Thanks.
Korel Laloix: Getting ready for my 99 days of lingerie.
Korel Laloix: This does not count.
Bruce Mowbray: 99-days of underwear?
Korel Laloix: Yes. Going to do a new shoot every day... and a woman saint.
Korel Laloix: So two projects.
Bruce Mowbray: Oh my!
Korel Laloix: One physical, one spiritual.
Bruce Mowbray: I have come fresh from Aphrodite's role-play -- 18th Century stuff... and that's why I have on thes clothes today.
Bruce Mowbray: Hmmm.
Korel Laloix: What do you do there?
Bruce Mowbray would like to hear more about Kori-s project.
Korel Laloix: Oh.. pretty self explanatory.
Korel Laloix: Just a new bit of SL lingerie each day.
Korel Laloix: And the story of a female Christian saint each day..one that moves me.
Alfred Kelberry: Bruce, what role did you play?
Bruce Mowbray: [We sit around and drink coffee, read newspapers, and pretend we're in the 18th Century.]
Korel Laloix: Starting with my patron.
Bruce Mowbray: I play myself -- but as an 18th Century dude.
Korel Laloix: lol
Alfred Kelberry: plantation owner? :)
Bruce Mowbray: yes.
Bruce Mowbray: a visitor from the colonies.
Korel Laloix: I can show up and scalp people? Will that keep the stereotype going?
Bruce Mowbray: Aph's sim is in Italy.
Alfred Kelberry: Kori, i like the idea - authenticity to the next level
Korel Laloix: We were into cannibalism a bit then as well.
Bruce Mowbray has always wanted to scalp people --- and eat them.
Alfred Kelberry: :)
Alfred Kelberry: eww
Korel Laloix: You would fit in.
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Bruce Mowbray: yum yum.
Korel Laloix: Ever had hufu?
Bruce Mowbray wonders what cardboard would taste like.
Bruce Mowbray: tofu?
Korel Laloix: http://www.damninteresting.com/the-great-taste-of-human-flesh-without-the-guilt/
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)

--BELL--

Alfred Kelberry: i am *not* clicking :)
Korel Laloix: Started out as a joke... then people actually started making it.
Bruce Mowbray clicked!
Bruce Mowbray: Hufu
Bruce Mowbray: Watch for Hufu in your grocer’s refrigerated section, and coming soon, Hufu “Healthy Hearts” and Hufu “Doctor Lecter’s Liver.”
Korel Laloix: lol
Korel Laloix: Had it at a Halloween party last year.... along with bloody Marys... lol
Korel Laloix: Was soooooo just wrong.
Korel Laloix: But tasty.
Bruce Mowbray ponders which parts of the human anatomy he'd most enjoy devouring.
Alfred Kelberry: i prefer cherries to hufu
Korel Laloix: Me as well.
Bruce Mowbray ponders "just wrong."
Korel Laloix: Dated a Jain who was near vegan and she did the tofu all the time.
Bruce Mowbray: cherries are also nice.
Korel Laloix: Funny but wrong.
Bruce Mowbray: Jains -- don't they have to wear a mask to avoid inhaling viruses and such -- ?
Korel Laloix: I wonder if this is the first PaB conversation about practical vegan cannibals?
Korel Laloix: Well, Celeste is a doctor, but only did that in her practice.
Bruce Mowbray: We might have started a whole new trend, Kori!
Korel Laloix: Maybe she was not orthodox.
Bruce Mowbray ponders "orthodox Jain."
Korel Laloix: Not shure that is the write word.
Korel Laloix: From what I learned from her, orthoprax might be more correct.
Bruce Mowbray: Well, you already know that the Eucharist (communion) in Christianity is a sort of symbolic cannibalism.
Alfred Kelberry: radical vegan :)
Korel Laloix: Sort of.
Bruce Mowbray: yeah.
Bruce Mowbray: I like it.
Bruce Mowbray: When I was teaching 8th grade English, I assigned an essay using argument/persuasion.
Korel Laloix: But then again.. Celeste was not a really healthy person.
Korel Laloix: Sounds good.
Bruce Mowbray: and I wrote an essay on cannibalism as an acceptable funeral practice as an example.
Korel Laloix: Did you get fired?
Bruce Mowbray ponders "healthy person."
Bruce Mowbray: nope!
Bruce Mowbray: not for that.
Korel Laloix: lol
Bruce Mowbray: I didn't get fired, actually, but I moved on to teach at a state prison.
Korel Laloix: I will take the bait... what did you get fired for?
Korel Laloix: OH OK.
Bruce Mowbray: I didn't.
Korel Laloix: Teaching.... at a state prison.... right... we believe you.
Korel Laloix: You lived there as well?... grins
Bruce Mowbray: At the prison I could do ANYTHING that didn't threaten security.
Bruce Mowbray: yeppers.
Bruce Mowbray: The Chillicothe Correctional Institute -- from 1972 to 1984.
Korel Laloix: Sounds interesting at least.
Bruce Mowbray: (Ohio)
Bruce Mowbray: It was my BEST teaching experience, actually.
Korel Laloix: I spent one day in jail, that was enough for me.
Bruce Mowbray: The men were all there voluntarily -- and were motivated!
Korel Laloix: Not sure how you did that even as a non-client...
Alfred Kelberry: Kori, what did you do?
Bruce Mowbray: I can't imagine, Kori.
Alfred Kelberry: Bruce, wait... voluntarily in jail?
Bruce Mowbray: Of course, I got locked inside every day for over eight years!
Korel Laloix: Not something I am comfortable discussing.
Alfred Kelberry: kori ;)
Bruce Mowbray: Voluntarily in the school program.
Alfred Kelberry: oh
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, I understand that.
Bruce Mowbray: every day.
Alfred Kelberry: what kind of inmates they were? thieves or murderers?
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, both and the works.
Korel Laloix: Min med or max?
Bruce Mowbray: My inmate clerk was a serial rapist...
Korel Laloix: OH ick.
Bruce Mowbray: and he is one of my closest friend, now - and still!
Korel Laloix: Bless you for doing that Bruce.
Bruce Mowbray: We write to each other every week.
Bruce Mowbray: for 26 years!
Bruce Mowbray: Well, Mike has given much more to me that I to him, actually.
Alfred Kelberry: how did they, if at all, rationalize their crimes?
Bruce Mowbray: In many ways, Boxy.
Bruce Mowbray: But my friend Mike never rationalized his crimes.
Bruce Mowbray: He admitted them and went on to do the work that needed to be done.
Bruce Mowbray: He is now one of the most enlightened persons I know in life.
Bruce Mowbray: having spent the past three decades working on himself.
Alfred Kelberry: i imagine prison is very close to so-called second chance
Bruce Mowbray: So, actually, any situation can become the ideal predicament for awakening, huh?
Alfred Kelberry: it's nice there are people like you who give them that
Bruce Mowbray: But Mike will never get out.
Bruce Mowbray: He's not yet finished the first of his 5 consecutive sentences.
Bruce Mowbray: and he knows this.
Bruce Mowbray: So, on with the "work."

--BELL--

Alfred Kelberry: without parole?
Bruce Mowbray: He's been in there for almost thirty years and has not yet finished the first of his five sentences.  He's come up for "parole" several times on his first sentence. . .  Keeps getting a continuance.
Bruce Mowbray: Well, gotta push on, folks.
Bruce Mowbray: THANKS!
Alfred Kelberry: yea, quite a story. thank you, Bruce.
Korel Laloix: Take care.
Bruce Mowbray: Thank you!
Alfred Kelberry: i wonder if after 30 years behind the bars you even want to get out
Korel Laloix: Depends I think.
Korel Laloix: Nice chat today.
Korel Laloix: Take care.