2013.02.10 13:00 – Compassion, vulnerability, judging and staying the same

The Guardian for this meeting was Aphrodite Macbain. The comments are by Aphrodite Macbain.

Korel Laloix: Heya
Korel Laloix: Is it just my lag or is half the pavilion gone?
Aphrodite Macbain: Hi
Aphrodite Macbain: lag
Aphrodite Macbain: Sunday lag
Korel Laloix: OK.. smiles.. There are no roof parts in my view... smiles
Aphrodite Macbain: you are looking very elegant
Korel Laloix: makes it a bit airy looking.
Korel Laloix: Thanks.
Korel Laloix: I do love this outfit.. trying to find something like it RL.
Aphrodite Macbain: off to a dance?
Aphrodite Macbain: I love the straps
Aphrodite Macbain: How are you? Seems we haven't spoken in a while
Korel Laloix: No.. homework... frowns.

Aphrodite Macbain: what subject?

Korel Laloix: Biostats.
Aphrodite Macbain: ah I remember.

Korel Laloix: Live has been very very strange for me recently.
Korel Laloix: Mostly in a good way.. and have not been on nearly as much.
Aphrodite Macbain: You have said life is strange a few times.
Aphrodite Macbain: Can you give me a hint?
--BELL--
Aphrodite Macbain: I am not sure what the theme this week is; It's not posted.
Aphrodite Macbain: Is there anything you would like to talk about?
Korel Laloix: No idea either.
Korel Laloix: Not that I can think of.

Compassion

Aphrodite Macbain: I wouldn't mind talking about compassion and how we can apply it
Korel Laloix: That sounds good to me.
Korel Laloix: It is a broad word and concept though.
Aphrodite Macbain: Basically it means “feeling with”
Aphrodite Macbain: com=with, passion=feeling
Aphrodite Macbain: To understand emotionally what a person is going through
Aphrodite Macbain: deep listening I think comes into this, and putting yourself or your ego out of the way so you can pay attention to the other
Korel Laloix: I thought that was empathy.
Korel Laloix: To me, compassion is more an action. But I might have the words wrong
Aphrodite Macbain: I suspect they mean very much the same thing
Aphrodite Macbain: I think empathy is less about passion and more about simple understanding
Aphrodite Macbain: I'll look the two up
Aphrodite Macbain: “Empathy is the capacity to recognize emotions that are being experienced by another sentient or fictional being. One may need to have a certain amount of empathy before being able to experience compassion.”
Aphrodite Macbain: “Compassion is the understanding or empathy for the suffering of others. It is regarded as a fundamental part of human love, and a cornerstone of greater social interconnection and humanism —foundational to the highest principles in philosophy, society, and personhood.”
Aphrodite Macbain: according to Wikepedia

Catrinamonblue Resident: 's current display-name is "Catrinamonblue".
Aphrodite Macbain: Hi Cat! Glad you could make it
Catrinamonblue Resident: hi guys :)
Aphrodite Macbain: we are talking about compassion and empathy.
Catrinamonblue Resident: had to go grocery shopping first :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Aphrodite Macbain: from grocery shopping to compassion!
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes :)
Korel Laloix: Heya
Catrinamonblue Resident: hi Korel how are you doing?

Vulnerability

Aphrodite Macbain: I gather you had suggested a theme this morning Cat... what was it? we could talk about it if you like
Catrinamonblue Resident: vulnerability
Aphrodite Macbain: ah
Aphrodite Macbain: wow.
Catrinamonblue Resident: Vulnerability - letting ourselves be deeply seen. living whole heartedly (to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart) with gratitude believing I am enough I am worthy letting go control.

Ted talk Brene Brown: The power of vulnerability http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvms...endscreen&NR=1
--BELL--
Catrinamonblue Resident: the video is 20 min but the gist is what I have written there.
Aphrodite Macbain: Yes- I watched this many months ago- it's truly wonderful
Catrinamonblue Resident: I love the line “to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart”
Aphrodite Macbain: please say more Cat
Korel Laloix: There is also great power in building deliberate walls.
Catrinamonblue Resident: I am such a here and now person
Catrinamonblue Resident: living only in the moment, with plans yes, but more in the moment than not
Aphrodite Macbain: nods
Catrinamonblue Resident: I love the idea of living each of those moments with a whole heart
Catrinamonblue Resident: which I don't think I have been
Catrinamonblue Resident: I have been afraid, timid
Catrinamonblue Resident: not sure who I am
Catrinamonblue Resident: but that line reminds me that I am my story
Catrinamonblue Resident: where I came from
Catrinamonblue Resident: which has created me now
Aphrodite Macbain: yes- you can tell your story in many different ways.
Aphrodite Macbain: sometimes exaggerating the good bits, sometimes avoiding the bad
Catrinamonblue Resident: no
Catrinamonblue Resident: accepting the bad
Catrinamonblue Resident: they are as important as the good
Catrinamonblue Resident: all parts have created the whole
Aphrodite Macbain: yes, I agree, but I am saying one can tell one's story many different ways
Aphrodite Macbain: depending on our biases
Catrinamonblue Resident: k
Korel Laloix: Very true.. and your walls.
Aphrodite Macbain: I could say I am a failure or I could say I am a success; and find ways to illustrate both.
Aphrodite Macbain: I could say I am shallow or demonstrate ways I am a deep thinker
Catrinamonblue Resident: I don't see failure or success though
Aphrodite Macbain: some people do
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes

Judging

Aphrodite Macbain: they learn to judge themselves based on values they have learned
Aphrodite Macbain: usually from their parents or teachers
Korel Laloix: What is wrong with judging yourself?
Zen Arado: 's current display-name is "Zen".
Korel Laloix: If you can't point to what is not what you want to be, how can you improve?
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Zen
Zen Arado: Hiya
Aphrodite Macbain: Good question Cat
Aphrodite Macbain: Hiya Zen
Aphrodite Macbain: what do you think about the value of judging oneself?
Korel Laloix: Extremely valuable.
Zen Arado: who is judging who?
Zen Arado: there are two of me?
Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
Aphrodite Macbain: the one who judges and the one being judged
Aphrodite Macbain: the super ego and the ego
Zen Arado: can judge actions
Aphrodite Macbain: nods
Zen Arado: and improve on them next time
Aphrodite Macbain: we have a choice about actions
Zen Arado: hopefully
Zen Arado: don't think so
Catrinamonblue Resident: judging implies failure or success when neither is necessary
Zen Arado: but they change according to everything else
Korel Laloix: Judging is not a yes or no thing.
Zen Arado: so they will be naturally modified
Korel Laloix: There is a spectrum in almost everything.
Zen Arado: nothing is really
Zen Arado: yep Kori
Catrinamonblue Resident: gtg sorry guys
Korel Laloix: When I run a race and lose, the race results really don’t matter.. but I evaluate how I ran vs my possible best... so I can do better next time.
Zen Arado: this judge...it might not be 'right'
Korel Laloix: Ciao
Catrinamonblue Resident: talk to you later
Zen Arado: yes
Zen Arado: bye Cat
Santoshima Resident: 's current display-name is "San".
Zen Arado: is that true of all of life Kori?
Korel Laloix: I think I just do not understand what the meaning of the word judging means.
Korel Laloix: I think so Zen.
Zen Arado: Hi San
Zen Arado: word meanings fall apart for me
Santoshima Resident: hi Zen, and everyone
Korel Laloix: Being judgmental has such a bad reputation.
Korel Laloix: Heya San.

Santoshima appears as a cat or two

Zen Arado: life is more mysterious than we think or I think
Korel Laloix: Love the whiskers.
Korel Laloix: I hope so.
--BELL--
Zen Arado: life feels more safe and stable if you can pin it down to neat categories
Zen Arado: and ones everyone agrees to
Zen Arado: or most anyway
Zen Arado: that's why humans keep trying to do that I guess
Aphrodite Macbain: Hi san pussy cat
Aphrodite Macbain: I think we must be born with question marks in our brains

Squishy change

Korel Laloix: If you realize the categories are squish, it is a good way to look at things.
Aphrodite Macbain: squish?
Aphrodite Macbain: awww: 2 cats
Korel Laloix: squishy
Korel Laloix: Not hard lined
Aphrodite Macbain: :-)
Zen Arado: fluid and changing
Aphrodite Macbain: nods, but with some essence that remains
Zen Arado: what essence?
Aphrodite Macbain: something that distinguishes it from something else
Zen Arado: everything changes into something else
Zen Arado: no solid forms
Zen Arado: just wait around and it happens
Aphrodite Macbain: you have stayed about the same since I've known you Zen, same appearance, same character, same frustrations
Zen Arado: oh no
Aphrodite Macbain: that's how I know you are Zen
Santoshima Resident: just your impression hasn't changed
Santoshima Resident: perhaps
Zen Arado: even my avatar has changed
Santoshima Resident: plus you have a floating name tag over your avi's head
Santoshima Resident: yes, your avi has changed a lot
Aphrodite Macbain: yes, but not that radically; I still recognize you
Zen Arado: my body is older
caringsteve46 Resident: 's current display-name is "caringsteve46".
Zen Arado: cells have changed
Aphrodite Macbain: same general shape
Zen Arado: have changed psychologically
Zen Arado: but you are looking for things that don't change
Santoshima Resident: hello caringsteve46
Zen Arado: mountains change too
Zen Arado: they wear away
Aphrodite Macbain: Hello
Zen Arado: just on a slow tilescale
Korel Laloix: heya
Korel Laloix: Caio all.. of to SL church service... take care and thanks for the chat.
Santoshima Resident: bye korel
Aphrodite Macbain: but stuff stays the same as well as changes
Zen Arado: bye Kori
Zen Arado: nope
Aphrodite Macbain: bye Kori
Zen Arado: nothing stays the same
Aphrodite Macbain: and changes
Aphrodite Macbain: all at the same time
Santoshima Resident: nothing "stays the same"
Santoshima Resident: everything changes
Zen Arado: yep
Aphrodite Macbain: that's the theory
--BELL--
Santoshima Resident: hmm
Zen Arado: no it is obvious
Santoshima Resident: not even a theory
Zen Arado: what stays the same?
Zen Arado: look around you
Aphrodite Macbain: people talking through the bell
Qt Core: late hi all
Zen Arado: Hi Qt
Zen Arado: going to meditation I think now
Aphrodite Macbain: whispers: hi Qt
Aphrodite Macbain: Is Bertram there? I have heard nothing
Aphrodite Macbain: I must go - I have a dance date :-)
Zen Arado: he's online
Zen Arado: byee Aph
Qt Core: have fun :-)
Aphrodite Macbain: bye
Santoshima Resident: bye
Aphrodite Macbain: hope you are both here tomorrow
Zen Arado: hey my brother Ural must be there ;)