The Guardian for this meeting was Santoshima Resident. The comments are by Santoshima Resident.

Santoshima Resident: 's current display-name is "San".
Rosatta Resident: 's current display-name is "Rosatta".
Rosatta Resident: Hello, San ㋡
Santoshima Resident: hi Rosatta
Rosatta Resident: I am going to try to attend the healing circle at the center fire in Home of Many Nations now
Santoshima Resident: ok
Bruce Mowbray: 's current display-name is "Bruce".
Bruce Mowbray: Heya, dear San.
Santoshima Resident: hey
Santoshima Resident: hi bruce
Santoshima Resident: was looking at the box over there
Santoshima Resident: for the birthday pajamas
Santoshima Resident: how're you
Santoshima Resident: ?
Bruce Mowbray: Just watched NBC News live coverage of the announcement of the new Pope.

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Santoshima Resident: oh
Santoshima Resident: is it decided?
Bruce Mowbray: Since you asked, I am delighted.
Bruce Mowbray: Thanks!
Bruce Mowbray: YES! It has been decided.
Bruce Mowbray: Francis I.
Santoshima Resident: a guy?
Bruce Mowbray: Hails from Argentina.
Santoshima Resident: was hoping for a woman
Bruce Mowbray: Ha ha!
Bruce Mowbray: GOOD LUCK with that one!
Santoshima Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: I hope to see the day that a woman becomes Pope -- REALLY!
Santoshima Resident: yes
Santoshima Resident: shall we speak of the topic of the week?
Bruce Mowbray: What is it?
Santoshima Resident: dunno
Santoshima Resident: shall investigate
Bruce Mowbray checks the board.
Santoshima Resident: blurry atm
Santoshima Resident: ok, focussing
Bruce Mowbray: Mine is also blurry.
Santoshima Resident: this is like an eye chart
Santoshima Resident: oh, there it is
Bruce Mowbray: Very blurry.
Santoshima Resident: "what stops?"
Bruce Mowbray: What stops?>
Bruce Mowbray: Excellent.
Santoshima Resident: breathe, eventually
Santoshima Resident: next question?
Bruce Mowbray still cannot see it ...
Santoshima Resident: laggy
Bruce Mowbray: Perhaps the home movies stop ...
Catrinamonblue Resident: 's current display-name is "Catrinamonblue".
Santoshima Resident: that would be good
Bruce Mowbray: (would that they would ...)
Santoshima Resident: never really did that though so not so much a concern
Bruce Mowbray: Hello, Cat!
Santoshima Resident: hi Cat
Bruce Mowbray: Alqways good to see you!
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi :)
Bruce Mowbray: I must say that my faith in the electoral process has been renewed by today's election of an Argentinian Pope ... and last fall's re-election of Obama.
Bruce Mowbray waits with baited breath to see what San is typing.
Santoshima Resident: i supose faith is what got folks out to the polls, in both cases
Bruce Mowbray: That's surely what got me out there, San.
Bruce Mowbray: and hope.
Santoshima Resident: yes
Bruce Mowbray: Although I do not consider myself a Christian, I am elated by the choice of Francis I.
Santoshima Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Santoshima Resident: i don't know much about popes ~ what is uplifting about this choice?
Bruce Mowbray: Ahhhh!
Santoshima Resident: greetings Wol
Bruce Mowbray: I watched his blessing on the crowds — live on NBC.
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Wol :)
Bruce Mowbray: It was moving.
Wol Euler: hello san, bruce, cat
Bruce Mowbray: Heya, Wol!
Bruce Mowbray: (Also, really glad that he's not from America.)
Wol Euler: who is he?
Bruce Mowbray: Francis I. The new Pope.
Wol Euler: who was he?
Bruce Mowbray: He was a Cardinal from Argentina.

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Wol Euler: ah, ty
Bruce Mowbray: It seems a bit strange to me - as I watch the news from Rome - that all of this is of such interest to me ... since I am neither Catholic nor Christian.
Bruce Mowbray: But I am delighted with the news.
Wol Euler smiles.
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Catrinamonblue Resident: was raised catholic :)
Bruce Mowbray listens.
Bruce Mowbray: Heya, druth!
Catrinamonblue Resident: he sounds like he will be an interesting change for the church
Wol Euler: fishing for compliments?
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, he certainly does.
Santoshima Resident: greetings Druth
Catrinamonblue Resident: lol I don't practice anymore :)
druth Vlodovic: hi guys
Wol Euler: hello druth
Wol Euler: fishing for Blub!
Catrinamonblue Resident: lol
druth Vlodovic: caught one :)
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
druth Vlodovic: though for a moment it looked like I was fishing for men
druth Vlodovic: for bruces anyway
Bruce Mowbray: Blub is a gregarious fellow, for sure.
Catrinamonblue Resident: ah Druth he's a very sweet seahorse :)
Bruce Mowbray: So, am I the only one here with feelings/happiness about the new Pope?
Wol Euler: I'm curious and well-wishing, but that is about it.
druth Vlodovic: would it be bad of me to say I wished that were so?
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Catrinamonblue Resident: I just think it will be interesting to see, can't be worse than the one just leaving
Bruce Mowbray: No "bad," of course!
Bruce Mowbray agrees with Cat about that!
druth Vlodovic: the proof is in the pudding, if he tries to reduce some of the non-PC morals in the church (and survives the experience) then I guess I'm ok with him
druth Vlodovic: but I doubt real life politics will allow him to do so
Bruce Mowbray eagerly waits for a taste of the pudding.
druth Vlodovic: are you catholic?
Bruce Mowbray: Nope.
druth Vlodovic: lol
Bruce Mowbray: lol
druth Vlodovic: then why worry about it?
Bruce Mowbray: My best friend (doing 5 life sentences in prison) was abused by priests from the age of 7 to the age of 13 — and for his sake, I take a keen interest, though.
druth Vlodovic: you may not like me for this but I liked the old pope
Bruce Mowbray: not worried, though.
Bruce Mowbray: Cool!
Bruce Mowbray: np!
druth Vlodovic: he was so obviously out of touch with anything good or real that he made the church even more irrelevant than it was previously
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
druth Vlodovic: I remember talking to a friend who was raised in a catholic school
druth Vlodovic: and he told me the abuse was commonly known
druth Vlodovic: "don't sit beside father so and so"
druth Vlodovic: "that's just the way it is"
Bruce Mowbray: One of the best things that Benedict did was to resign — turn the whole thing over to someone else ... and it took real courage to do that.

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druth Vlodovic: wasn't this guy chosen by the ones who chose the last one?
Bruce Mowbray: yeppers, pretty much so.
druth Vlodovic: then if he is different in any way it'll be due to political expediency
Eliza Madrigal: 's current display-name is "Eliza".
Santoshima Resident: hi Eliza
Wol Euler: hello eliza
Bruce Mowbray: I don't know about those guys, but I really liked the live coverage from the Vatican of this new guy's appearance.
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Eliza :)
Bruce Mowbray: Heya, Eliza!
Eliza Madrigal: Hey, everyone :)
druth Vlodovic: maybe they put benedict in so whoever come after him would seem a saint
druth Vlodovic: hi Eliza
Bruce Mowbray looks for birthday balloon.
druth Vlodovic: I'm totally failing to drop my prejudice against churches :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Bruce Mowbray: understandable, druth.
Wol Euler: whose birthday?
Bruce Mowbray: PaB's.
druth Vlodovic: understandable but not really wise I guess, any organization gets corrupted
druth Vlodovic: and one that expects absolute obedience approaches the adage about absolute power
druth Vlodovic: which is why i have the extra "in" for churches
Bruce Mowbray: yeppers, yo9u've got it there!
Bruce Mowbray: I only hjave it in for churches because of what they have done to my friends.
Eliza Madrigal: at least, from early reports, they've chosen someone with an emphasis on "the less better off" resource wise, can't really mean in all ways if not tending to other sorts of margins
Bruce Mowbray: I personalize all of it.
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, Eliza.
Rosatta Resident: 's current display-name is "Rosatta".
Santoshima Resident: wb Rosatta
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Rosatta :)
Wol Euler: hello rosatta
Bruce Mowbray: I've already expressed my delight with the choice — for those reasons.
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Rosatta :)
druth Vlodovic: hi rosatta
Bruce Mowbray: Heya, Rosatta!
Rosatta Resident: Hello, everyone. Thank you for the warm welcome
Rosatta Resident: May I ask someone to state this week's topic?
druth Vlodovic: it was already pretty warn around here :)
Santoshima Resident: "what stops"
Rosatta Resident: Ah. First and foremost, fear stops
Bruce Mowbray: I'm thinking that "What stops?" may have a close connection to "What drops?"
Santoshima Resident: well done, you both!
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
druth Vlodovic: we tried doing just one, maybe an experiment worth repeating
druth Vlodovic: "Fear is the mind killer, fear is the little death ..."
druth Vlodovic: who here knows Dune?
Wol Euler: of course :)
Santoshima Resident: nope
Bruce Mowbray: Frank Hewrbert — I met him once.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: Herbert.
Catrinamonblue Resident: really Bruce!! that's cool
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, I met Herbert, Bradbury, and Harlan Ellison at Disneyland in 1971.
Bruce Mowbray: English teachers conference.
druth Vlodovic: the year I was born :)
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Eliza Madrigal: that would be disneyland even without disneyland
Eliza Madrigal: ah I am just a bit older than Druth :)
Wol Euler: "conference", eh?
Bruce Mowbray: CATE — California Association of Teachers of English.
druth Vlodovic: I suspect having a universe run by organizations dedicated to ideals was a bit of wishful thinking
Bruce Mowbray: (big deal) ha ha.
Wol Euler: I always wonder why conferences aren't held in places like Fargo, ND or Lincoln, NB
Bruce Mowbray: yeah, that would be cool!
Eliza Madrigal: desire for attendance?
Bruce Mowbray: Lincoln is one of my favorite towns, btw.
druth Vlodovic: the rollercoasters are too small
Bruce Mowbray: but their capitol building is amazing.
Eliza Madrigal: nice to meet someone who enjoys Nebraska :)
Bruce Mowbray: I never met anyone from Nebraska that I didn't like.
Bruce Mowbray: (and I was raised right next door in Iowa).
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Bruce Mowbray: ;)
Catrinamonblue Resident: so ... fear stops?

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druth Vlodovic: what is left when fear stops?
Bruce Mowbray: and along with fear, many other things also stop  ...
druth Vlodovic: that was fun, now back to Nebraska
Bruce Mowbray: ;-) I wish!
druth Vlodovic: :)
Rosatta Resident: discomfort with the topic stops it and changes the topic?
Rosatta Resident giggles
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
druth Vlodovic: ok, try this
druth Vlodovic: can fear continue (not stop) and yet be dropped?
Bruce Mowbray: Fear can be distracted, I think.
druth Vlodovic: so you feel fear but don't take it into consideration?
Rosatta Resident: Or take it into consideration but not allow it to stop
Bruce Mowbray: Fear is not front and v=center in my consciousness, if it gets distracted ... and that's probably a good thing.
Catrinamonblue Resident: you can work around fear, it sometimes tells you that things need attention
druth Vlodovic: an indicator emotion
Bruce Mowbray: Hmmmm, good point, Cat.
Rosatta Resident: And, with experience, fear will often stop
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
Bruce Mowbray: How about anger, and grief? Do they also stop?
druth Vlodovic: the modern definition of bravery, to work through fear, but to acknowledge it
Rosatta Resident: I believe they do, Bruce. And doubt
Catrinamonblue Resident: I don't think grief ever stops but just lessons in intensity, softens
Bruce Mowbray ponders.
druth Vlodovic: it seems unhealthy to stop things
Santoshima Resident: fear complexes in the body, not so readily addressed as superficially talking like this
Bruce Mowbray listens carefully.
druth Vlodovic: they tend to hide deep inside and grow in intensity
Santoshima Resident: please excuse me, needing to go
Santoshima Resident: bye and thanks ~
Wol Euler: bye san, take care
Catrinamonblue Resident: Bye Sane
Bruce Mowbray: kk, San. Be thee well!
druth Vlodovic: have fun san
Rosatta Resident: Blessings San!
Santoshima Resident: ciao
Catrinamonblue Resident: I don't think emotions can be stopped just worked through and let go
Wol Euler nods.
druth Vlodovic: they can be supressed
Catrinamonblue Resident: which is not good
Wol Euler: for a while :)
Wol Euler: sooner or later they leak out
Wol Euler: in my experience
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
Catrinamonblue Resident: usually excessive in their outing
Catrinamonblue Resident: due to suppression
Bruce Mowbray: So, if emotions don't really "stop," does anything else stop?
Catrinamonblue Resident: cars :)
Wol Euler: hearts
Wol Euler: loaves of bread
Bruce Mowbray: How about commentaries?
druth Vlodovic: except for fords cars usually simply pause
druth Vlodovic: loaves of bread stop?
Wol Euler: wehn you eat the final crust, yes
Bruce Mowbray: If I can get my commentaries to stop, that's an accomplishment, I feel.
Wol Euler: again, in my experience
druth Vlodovic: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Rosatta Resident: I have been very slow thinking this through, but I had interpreted Bruce's question as "Does anger and grief stop - as in does it prevent or stop things?
druth Vlodovic: ah
Wol Euler: hmmm
Bruce Mowbray: please say more, Rosatta.
Catrinamonblue Resident: listens
Wol Euler: an interesting thought
Rosatta Resident: It has been my experience that emotions heal through experiences that bring healing
Wol Euler: but I hve to leave, sorry to say, another meeting is starting at 2pm
Rosatta Resident: Most emotions, if strong, will stop
Catrinamonblue Resident: bye Wol
druth Vlodovic: ttfn Wol
Wol Euler: take care, be happy and safe and pope-ful
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, I also must be away.
Bruce Mowbray: Sry about that.
Bruce Mowbray: But RL calls once again.
Rosatta Resident: Being in love causes us to focus on the relationship and often brings other things to a stop
Catrinamonblue Resident: Bye Bruce :)
Bruce Mowbray: May you all be well and happy.
druth Vlodovic: np, you can read the log
Rosatta Resident: Good by everyone
Catrinamonblue Resident: listens quietly to Rosatta
Catrinamonblue Resident: if she still wants to talk
Rosatta Resident: ty ㋡
Rosatta Resident: : )

— b e l l —

druth Vlodovic: strong emotions can start or stop
Rosatta Resident: I am mostly thinking of what my experience and observation has been in relation to how I interpreted Bruce's question
Rosatta Resident: I love your fish : )
druth Vlodovic: fear is infamous for stopping imagination and empathy
druth Vlodovic: he wanted you to feel included :)
Rosatta Resident: Some anecdotal 'proof' on emotions being able to stop
Rosatta Resident: I had guilt and grief about something I had said to my brother when we were both teenagers. it was very hurtful
Rosatta Resident: After being with him again years after this happened I wanted to apologize but I didn't know if the apology would only trigger bad memories and cause him more pain
Rosatta Resident: So I waited
Rosatta Resident: Then a set of circumstances occured and he turned to me and asked if I remembered saying that
Rosatta Resident: I immediately said, with all of my heart "I am so sorry"
Rosatta Resident: I could see the relief in his eyes
Catrinamonblue Resident: sometimes asking forgiveness for wrong doings is also about forgiving yourself and letting go
Rosatta Resident: Though there is still a bit of sadness that I ever hurt him like that, the intense negativity is gone
Rosatta Resident: and there is gratitude for the amazing way this healing occurreed
Catrinamonblue Resident: smiles
Rosatta Resident: I didn't even care if I was forgiven, I just wanted to take his hurt away
druth Vlodovic: it is rare and valuable when someone gives you such an opening
Rosatta Resident: but I was forgiven also
Rosatta Resident: yes : )
druth Vlodovic: I've tried to tell my kids that when a wrong is done an apology is always required, but not always accepted
Rosatta Resident: You are looking so beautifully fae today, Cat
Catrinamonblue Resident: ty :)
druth Vlodovic: even if the apology adds to the hurt temporarily I think in the long run it is the proper thing
Rosatta Resident: It is hard to apologize and not have it accepted
druth Vlodovic: yes, very hard
Rosatta Resident: I have had experiences where an apologiy as used as 'permission' to berate me further about the incident
druth Vlodovic: ah, this is why I thought it important to teach them not to demand the acceptance of the apology
druth Vlodovic: as they were inclined to do, being humans
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes but that is their response and that they are still hurt by it, they have feelings to work though and let go
Rosatta Resident: You are very wise : )
druth Vlodovic: sometimes an apology can be an additional hurt if acceptance is required
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
druth Vlodovic: oh, sorry, you mean you got berated after apologizing
Rosatta Resident: yes
druth Vlodovic: I was reading it the other way
Rosatta Resident: np : )
Rosatta Resident: Some people are just revenge motivated and they take it where they can get it
druth Vlodovic: sometimes it is better to let things cool a bit before readdressing an issue
Rosatta Resident: true
druth Vlodovic: or even send a card ;->
druth Vlodovic: er, sorry "oreven send a card O8-) "
Rosatta Resident: I understood : )
druth Vlodovic: halos are hard to do for smileys
Rosatta Resident: Yes, sometimes a note is the best way to approach thiings, especially if the situation is very touchy
Catrinamonblue Resident: smiles
druth Vlodovic: I wish we had a standard phrase for saying "I need a bit of space right now."
Rosatta Resident: You know, I will happily adopt any sea life you have that is having babies : )
Catrinamonblue Resident: sometimes it's not about you but that the other person has unresolved issues they don't understand so take those out on you without realizing it
Rosatta Resident: true
druth Vlodovic: usually people find that offencive
Rosatta Resident: bitterness tends to see everyone as an enemy
druth Vlodovic: asking for space or time
Rosatta Resident: as well as PTSD
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods

— b e l l —

Rosatta Resident: The way of asking for space that seems to be the most accepted is when I say "I'm not in a very good space right now. Can we do this later?"
Rosatta Resident: Ooooo! Druth! You are so sweet - thank you : )
Catrinamonblue Resident: sometimes people are insecure and don't really know how to give space and time
druth Vlodovic: :)
Rosatta Resident: It is beautiful : )
Rosatta Resident: True, Cat. They take this request as rejection
Rosatta Resident: Gentle but firm and then returning to them as soon as possible often works — but not always
Rosatta Resident: There is no one thing that works for everyone
Catrinamonblue Resident: was just typing pretty much what you said :)
Rosatta Resident: and there are people who just want their own way and wont' be happy unless that is what is happening
Rosatta Resident: lol great mind think alike :- )
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
druth Vlodovic: we have no ability to control others,and our ability to influence them is often uncertain
Rosatta Resident: yes
druth Vlodovic: so we are left controling ourselves
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
Rosatta Resident: I don't do well with having anger blasted at me, but even that can't be controlled even when I was a total doormat it didn't stop it completely
Catrinamonblue Resident: no it doesn't
druth Vlodovic: lol,being a doormat tends to make it harsher and more likely in the future
Rosatta Resident: Ty, again, Druth for the little clownfish. It is truly delightful (((hugs)))
Catrinamonblue Resident: you don't have to be a door mat but you don\t have to engage in their anger either
Rosatta Resident: Especially if you challenge that relationship and try to expect better treatment
Catrinamonblue Resident: gentle but firm can work there to in time
Rosatta Resident: Depending on the person
Catrinamonblue Resident: anger is usually frustration or pain
druth Vlodovic: it is amazing how much simple firmness and a demonstrated willingness to speak the truth as you know it and defend your own self can change how you are treated
druth Vlodovic: or how much vitriol it generates on other people

[ personal text edited here by request]

druth Vlodovic: [ re: SL] it can be a powerful place to be
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
Rosatta Resident: It has been changing my life
druth Vlodovic: "Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth." -- Oscar Wilde
Rosatta Resident: One of the most important has been PaB
Catrinamonblue Resident: smiles mine too
Rosatta Resident: Excellent quote, Druth. ty
druth Vlodovic: even if he didn't know the truth before :)
druth Vlodovic: ah, I should go
druth Vlodovic: have fun guys
Catrinamonblue Resident: Bye Druth :)
Rosatta Resident: ty for everything, Druth
druth Vlodovic: sorry to take your seahorse cat :)

— b e l l —

Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Rosatta Resident: I just way the jellyfish ㋡
Rosatta Resident: I love all the sealife she brings with her
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes it's beautiful :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: this is one she gave me too :)
Rosatta Resident: Is that your goldfish?
Rosatta Resident: It is beautiful : )
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: I should head off now too as it's dinner time here :)
Rosatta Resident: Do you know who sells them?
Rosatta Resident: Ty for you company : )
Rosatta Resident: I hope you have a good evening
Catrinamonblue Resident: Druth said it was a game called seven seas? or something like
Catrinamonblue Resident: you too Rosatta it was nice talking with you :)

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