2010.04.18 1300 - Embracing the moment of now

The Guardian for this meeting was Maxine Walden. The comments are by Maxine Walden. This discussion seemed to creatively meander from empathy for Wol's not being able to get to the RL retreat in San Francisco because of the volcanic ash cloud to greater appreciation for frustration and disappointment being part of life and humbling to our 'controlling' selves, to appreciation of NOW as the only moment in time we have, to appreciation of each other in this NOW moment.  Upon re-reading the log, it seems that once several of us left at the end of the hour, the remaining group resumed an ongoing topic of their mutual interest. 

Liza Deischer: hi Maxine
Maxine Walden: hi. Liza
Maxine Walden: how are you?
Liza Deischer: I'm fine, thanks
Liza Deischer: and you?
Maxine Walden: oh, fine, thanks, just sitting here enjoying the space
Liza Deischer: :-)
Maxine Walden: how are you enjoying PaB? That's an open question, I know...just wondering
Liza Deischer: well, I didn't expect this question any more :-)
Maxine Walden: ah, sorry.
Liza Deischer: oh, no problem, that's not what I mean
Liza Deischer: but I noticed that to Liza it means something different then to Darren
Maxine Walden: ah, I see. Interesting...
Maxine Walden: care to mention any of the differences? You may have elsewhere but I would be interested to hear
Maxine Walden: hi, Wol
Liza Deischer: well, Darren is more layed-back
Wol Euler: hello liza, maxine
Liza Deischer: he enjoys being here and is interested in people
Liza Deischer: Liza is more critical
Liza Deischer: hi Wol :-)
Maxine Walden: I see. Wol, just wanting to mention how sorry I am that you could not get to SF
Wol Euler: thank you, maxine, I appreciate that
Maxine Walden: Listening, Liza, just wanting to also empathize with Wol's situation, not being able due to the ash cloud to get to the retreat in SF
Liza Deischer: Oh, I understand, I'm very sorry for Wol too
Wol Euler smiles.
Wol Euler: I'm trying to take it calmly :)
Liza Deischer: well, there is nothing practical you can do about it
Wol Euler: mmhmm
Maxine Walden: calmly but perhaps with some disappointment as well, I imagine
Wol Euler: oh yes, of course.
Maxine Walden: Does it feel like the vulcan gods areout to frustrate a lot of people right now?
Wol Euler: :)
Liza Deischer: well, the strange thing is (and I'm not in Wol's poisition) but it makes you humble too
Liza Deischer: one volcano and suddenly we can't move from one place to another
Maxine Walden: ah, indeed! about the powers of nature?
Maxine Walden: and who is really in charge on this planet?
--BELL--
Liza Deischer: but I think it is better to feel the disappointment then to feel angry
Wol Euler nods
Wol Euler: hello yaku
Liza Deischer: it is somehow closer by
Yakuzza Lethecus: hey everyone
Liza Deischer: Hey Yaku
Maxine Walden: in my experience as well, Liza, even though the disappointment can feel deep and very painful
Maxine Walden: hi Yaku
Liza Deischer: yes
Wol Euler: it would be completely pointless and somewhat silly to be angry about this
Maxine Walden: we are empathizing with Wol's not being able to get to SF and the disappointment that would engender
Liza Deischer: true, but some people react with anger
Liza Deischer: not understanding the situation
Maxine Walden: yes, and maybe anger gets the pain 'out' or 'away' in some way,
Liza Deischer: feeling a lot of discomfort
Liza Deischer: maybe because they lost control
Liza Deischer: yes, but the pain is still there
Wol Euler: yes but the "loss" is an illusion
Liza Deischer: there is more comfort in pain
Maxine Walden: say more, Wol?
Liza Deischer: yes, but that is the issue with 'control'
Wol Euler: well, it was never in their control really. Their "control" was predicated on the thing not actually existing :)
Wol Euler: but as soon as it appeared, it proved that they didn't control it
Maxine Walden: ah...
Liza Deischer: exactly
Maxine Walden: ah, that the event, SF in this case, was never a 'given' ?
Liza Deischer: and pain is closer by
Liza Deischer: it is not something you need to fight against
Wol Euler: mmmm, I was actually thinking of "the other people", those who are reacting with anger - as many surely are
Maxine Walden: ah, sorry, let me listen
Liza Deischer: (so was I)
Wol Euler: the "control" in this case is their expectation that their desires *must* always be capable of fulfilment
Wol Euler: and that the world can never stand in their way
Wol Euler: which is a pretty foolish position, really.
Wol Euler: even leaving volcanoes out if it :)
Liza Deischer: people in general can think they can make the world work
Liza Deischer: like we are the ones that makes it go round
Liza Deischer: it is foolish, I agree
Wol Euler: the event in SF was "given", yes, but within the general context of life occasionally ignoring our desires
Wol Euler: hello steve
Maxine Walden: right
Wol Euler: we make plans, we take actions, we anticipate outcomes, sure. All that.
Wol Euler: But we also know that things might go wrong.
Yakuzza Lethecus: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: let me rezz a moment perhaps
Wol Euler: Almost everyone who dies in a car accident, for example, left the house that day thinking that they'd just drive to work as usual.
Liza Deischer: yes
Maxine Walden: hmm, yes...
Wol Euler: I'm trying to find something Alain de Botton wrote about this, about anger and frustration arising from unrealistic expectation, in particular the expectation of total control
Liza Deischer: there is this story of this monk that puts his only possesion his mug, upside down when he goes to sleep
Liza Deischer: in order to remember himself that he doesn't know if he is going to stand up the next day
Liza Deischer: control is a nasty thing
Liza Deischer: but we seemed to have build our world on it
Wol Euler nods
stevenaia Michinaga: and usually pointless
--BELL--
Liza Deischer: control and expectations
Liza Deischer: like we have rights according to our expectations
Maxine Walden: Found myself in these past 90 sec feeling once again, how important it is to appreciate every moment, every NOW moment, as we do not have control,and NOW is all we really 'have'
Wol Euler nods.
Liza Deischer: yes
stevenaia Michinaga: and what a simple place to be
stevenaia Michinaga: here, now
Maxine Walden: yes
Liza Deischer: and it is nice to be here among friends
Maxine Walden: indeed, Liza
Liza Deischer: right now
Wol Euler smiles
Wol Euler: "this is here, it is now, I have tea and cake and friends. Life is grand."
Liza Deischer: :-)
Maxine Walden: ah, beautiful, Wol
Wol Euler: I guess the people who get angry at volcanoes are perhaps those for whom that isn't enough.
Liza Deischer: I guess so
Maxine Walden: hmm, yes
Maxine Walden: maybe those who idealize the 'future' or 'what will be' or 'what MUST be'
Liza Deischer: there is always a goal to be reached of which they think it wil make them more happy
Liza Deischer: right Maxine
Maxine Walden: yes, Liza
Wol Euler: mmhmm
Maxine Walden: so easy to idealize the other-than-now
Yakuzza Lethecus: hi ara :)
arabella Ella: Hiya
Wol Euler: hello ara
Maxine Walden: I am feeling very appreciative of our sharig this 'now', among such good friends
Maxine Walden: hi, ara
Liza Deischer: yes and running away from diappointments they don't want to acnolige
Liza Deischer: hi Ara
Wol Euler: damn, I can't find anything today, my copy of "gatsby" has also gone missing. I wanted to quote that last paragraph, ending "and so we beat on, boats against the current, ceaselessly into the past"
Liza Deischer: acknowledge (?)
Wol Euler: relative to being made happy by things in the future
Wol Euler: "acknowledge", yes :)
Liza Deischer: thanks :-)
Maxine Walden: :), Liza
Maxine Walden: nice reference, Wol, I had forgotten that ending of the Great Gatsby
Wol Euler smiles.
Wol Euler: it's one of my favourite books, I read it at least once a year.
Wol Euler: found it online. "Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that's no matter -- tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. ... And one fine morning ---- So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past. "
Maxine Walden: hmm, the ceaseless 'quest' so dismissive of the 'now' and expressing the tragedy of such
Wol Euler nods.
Liza Deischer: yes
Maxine Walden: Wol, I am so sorry for your note getting to SF, but very grateful for our conversation here today, which in part embraces your situation
Wol Euler smiles.
Liza Deischer: :-)
Maxine Walden: for your not getting to SF
Wol Euler: thank you, maxine.
--BELL--
Maxine Walden: thank you, Wol, for your openness which has allowed us this
Liza Deischer: you have a great way of approaching these kind of things Maxine, so thank you too
Wol Euler: agreed
Liza Deischer: it turns out to be an embracing for all of us :-)
Maxine Walden: ah, we are thanking each other appropriately it seems as we all have 'created' this lovely sharing experience.
Wol Euler smiles.
stevenaia Michinaga: :)
Liza Deischer: I start to sound like Darren heheh
Wol Euler: heheheheheh
Wol Euler: better be careful of that cross-over :)
arabella Ella: :)
Maxine Walden: Would that be OK, Liza, to begin to sound like Darren?
Liza Deischer: well, I'm wondering about that
Liza Deischer: I actually don't know
Maxine Walden: hi, Mick
Mickorod Renard: Hiya guys
Yakuzza Lethecus: mick :)
Liza Deischer: because I don't know yet what kind of effect it has on other 'parts' of me
Mickorod Renard: Hi Yaku :)
Wol Euler: I suppose that depends on what the majority "you" thinks he sounds like.
Wol Euler: whether "you" think he is a good model to follow (or be lead by :)
Liza Deischer: well I guess Darren is a big softy :-)
Wol Euler: yes, but is that good or bad? :)
Liza Deischer: and Liza thinkgs she is the 'strong' one
Liza Deischer: it feels good
Wol Euler: :)
Liza Deischer: but I'm not going to take of my shoes!!
Wol Euler: perhaps laying down that strength might feel like a moment of relief?
Liza Deischer: hmmmm, I guess so
Liza Deischer: it feels more like fluid
Mickorod Renard: what is the topic?
Wol Euler nods.
Liza Deischer: eh.... good question :-)
Wol Euler: hard to say, mick :)
Mickorod Renard: :)
Wol Euler: that notecard is the last ten minutes or so, mick
Mickorod Renard: thankyou,,,to you both
Wol Euler grins.
Liza Deischer: :-)
arabella Ella: :)
Mickorod Renard: thanks
Maxine Walden: our wending conversation today, meandering through several topics...with openness and trust
Wol Euler: and keeping our expectations on a leash
Maxine Walden: :), yes, Wol
Liza Deischer: :-)
Mickorod Renard: yes, I remember as a newcomer,,the expectations I had were outlandish
Maxine Walden: so we could truly appreciate the now moment with one another
Wol Euler nods.
--BELL--
Maxine Walden: I need to go. Am wondering whether this chatlog might be titled 'Embracing the moment' but will see when the whole chatlog is reviewed
Wol Euler: :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: take care maxine
Wol Euler: bye maxine, enjoy your sunday
Liza Deischer: bye Maxine
arabella Ella: bye Maxine
Maxine Walden: very nice dicsussion, thanks so much everyone
Maxine Walden: bye
stevenaia Michinaga: time to go as well
Wol Euler: bye steve, take care
Liza Deischer: bye Steve
arabella Ella: bye Steve
Liza Deischer is smiling about Wol bringing back symmetrie
arabella Ella: :)
Wol Euler: :)
arabella Ella: looks perfect Wol
arabella Ella: Liza ... could you tell us more about your new project it sounds exciting
Liza Deischer: the science project
Mickorod Renard: yes it does
arabella Ella: yes
Liza Deischer: well, it was just fun to be part of it
Liza Deischer: and enjoyed making the lab
Liza Deischer: the idea is of a friend of mine
Liza Deischer: and it is fun working together with people with different skills
Mickorod Renard: have you any corroborated info to be presented?
Liza Deischer: in a way I'm sad that it is finisched :-)
Liza Deischer: what is corroborated?
arabella Ella: it is an end and it could be seen as a beginning too Liza
Liza Deischer: true
Liza Deischer: the land is part of a Sim, with quite some technical people around
Mickorod Renard: sorry,,i meant any insider knowledge being presented?
arabella Ella: did you build too?
Liza Deischer: yes, I made the lab
Liza Deischer: and I made a big mess of it
Liza Deischer: :-))))))
arabella Ella: wow i am impressed :)
Mickorod Renard: he he
Liza Deischer: that was one of the funparts
Wol Euler: :))
Mickorod Renard: learning from mistakes is often the best
Liza Deischer: oh, no, this is an organized mess
arabella Ella: i was gonna say ... who says there were mistakes? a mess may look cool ...
Liza Deischer: it is an abandoned lab and something happened there
Liza Deischer: yes, that is why I liked to build it
Liza Deischer: experimenting with mess :-)
Mickorod Renard: do we have to walk around and work out what,,a bit like the game cludo?
arabella Ella: now you make me more curious
Liza Deischer: well all things are different things
Liza Deischer: no real story behind it
Liza Deischer: there are some gadgets
Liza Deischer: and it is just fun to try them
Wol Euler smiles.
Liza Deischer: and besiedes the gadgets there is some blood and there are some body's
Mickorod Renard: wow,,sounds fun
arabella Ella: oh ... vampire stuff?
Liza Deischer: no, not vampire, think more alien
Mickorod Renard: vampire aliens
Liza Deischer: heheheh
Wol Euler laughs.
arabella Ella: well i was thinking romantic ... edward cullen
Mickorod Renard: is he an alien?
arabella Ella: :)
Liza Deischer: I don't know Ara
arabella Ella: depends on your point of view mick
Mickorod Renard: :)
--BELL--
Liza Deischer: and I dressed up an alien avatar yesterday, the owner having no clue about anyghin that involves clothing
Liza Deischer: it was real fun to do that :-)
Mickorod Renard: where did you find your inspiration from Liza?
Liza Deischer: actually, I don't know, I just start
Mickorod Renard: have you been interested in area 51 before?
Liza Deischer: no
Liza Deischer: not at all
Mickorod Renard: :)
Liza Deischer: it was a theme that suits the rest of the Sim well
arabella Ella: what sort of an alien l|iza - ET style?
Yakuzza Lethecus: good night everyone
Liza Deischer: no not really ET
Mickorod Renard: nite Yaku
arabella Ella: nite Yaku
Liza Deischer: bye Yaku
arabella Ella: Wol symmetry
Wol Euler: gah
Wol Euler: you broke it.
Liza Deischer: and different people working on it, you get different ways of looking at it
Liza Deischer: :-)
arabella Ella: did i?
Wol Euler: mmhmm, it was correct before when you and mick were together
Wol Euler: correct = symmetrical
Wol Euler: there!
Wol Euler: ty, liza
Mickorod Renard: yeaaa
arabella Ella: ok i thought Yaku broke it ...
Wol Euler: oh, he may have done, I didn'T notice.
Liza Deischer: correct = symmetrical
arabella Ella: this is better thanks Liza
Liza Deischer: I suppose we could spend several session on that
Wol Euler: heheheh
arabella Ella: :)
Wol Euler: well, there's no need to impose my fetishes on the group to that extent
Liza Deischer: I'm afraid it already happened :-)
arabella Ella: your influence exhudes beyond language or chat Wol it is amazing
Wol Euler: :)))))
Liza Deischer: I for one cannot look at this circle anymore without looking for symmetrie
arabella Ella: meeee toooo
Wol Euler: :)
Wol Euler: my work is done.
Liza Deischer: hahahah
Liza Deischer: a friend of mine came on line
Liza Deischer: that's my cue
Mickorod Renard: bye Liza
Wol Euler: goodnight liza, take care
Liza Deischer: cy :-)
arabella Ella: nite Liza
Wol Euler: I shall move on too, actually, time for my beauty sleep
Wol Euler: goodnight ara, 'night mick
Mickorod Renard: ok Wol,,nice to see you
arabella Ella: nite Wol take care
arabella Ella: and go easy on all that influence :)