2012.04.19 07:00 - Psychology of emotion

The Guardian for this meeting was Storm Nordwind. The comments are by Storm Nordwind, who thought about entitling this session "Inviting the silent ones" (as it sounded whimsical and mystical) before he settled on the obvious choice. :)

Being fat.

Storm Nordwind: Good morning Sam!
oO0Oo Resident: Hi Stom :)
oO0Oo Resident: I'm open, if there is a topic or theme for this session. I also had a thought about the NDRC, but it can wait too.
Storm Nordwind: I usually find that any topic I raise is superseded by one that people actually want to discuss! So I am very happy to hear your suggestion. :)
oO0Oo Resident: aw.. Well now I'd like to listen and engage with whatever might be of interest to you :)
Storm Nordwind: People interest me. And what interests them! :)
oO0Oo Resident: :)
oO0Oo Resident: makes you all the more interesting!
oO0Oo Resident: Hi Bleu!
Bleu Oleander: hi Storm, Sam
Storm Nordwind: Hi Bleu!
Storm Nordwind: There were times in my life I would have burning topics. Now I sit in repose like a big fat buddha statue with a faint smile waiting to help others and enjoying stillness. :)
Storm Nordwind: Though my avatar belies my RL physical form! ;)
oO0Oo Resident: good work if you can get it :))))
Storm Nordwind chuckles
Bleu Oleander: :)

Bilingual.

oO0Oo Resident: OK.. well just a few quick thoughts on the bi-lingual aspect of NDRC?
Storm Nordwind: Sure!
Storm Nordwind: We do coexist here with our friends from Japan.
Storm Nordwind: Theirs is a thriving community, though they use very little space.
Storm Nordwind: And it seemed appropriate to be inclusive with the signs and the announcements.
Storm Nordwind: We often say that we'd like closer contact...
Storm Nordwind: but language is difficult...
oO0Oo Resident: grain of salt.. but How about translations for: "Next train arrives in", "you are here" (on the maps), platform, train seat, etc hover tips, .. then also.. maybe shift or add headphone tour stand to Kira Japan side of platform at that location? More inviting?
Storm Nordwind: I dare say there are few fluent Japanese speakers in PaB
Storm Nordwind: Well there is a headphone tour on their platform of the dual station now :)
Bleu Oleander: nice
Storm Nordwind: And both languages are available at each
oO0Oo Resident: ah! Nice
Storm Nordwind: But...
Storm Nordwind: the countdown timers are more difficult
Storm Nordwind: they use fonts in which there are no Japanese characters.
Storm Nordwind: I dare say I could change those completely
Storm Nordwind: but they would lose flexibility in the process
Bleu Oleander: hi Yaku
Yakuzza Lethecus: hey everyone
Storm Nordwind: Good afternoon Yaku!
oO0Oo Resident: Hi Yaku :)
--BELL--
Storm Nordwind: And hover stuff I can't change because of an SL limitation
Alfred Kelberry: hi :)
Alfred Kelberry: *rubs his nose*
Storm Nordwind: Good day friends! Please sit with us :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: good morning riddle
Riddle Sideways: observing the red ribbon is on.
Alfred Kelberry: theme today?
oO0Oo Resident: Hi Riddle
Bleu Oleander: hi Riddle
Riddle Sideways: Hi, dear friends
Storm Nordwind: I had no theme (as usual) and Sam had a question about the NDR. But I'm happy to continue with whatever theme people would like.
Storm Nordwind: I do have one comment...
Yakuzza Lethecus: hello raffi
Alfred Kelberry: hi :
Raffila Millgrove waves to all
Bleu Oleander waves to Raffi
oO0Oo Resident: Storm, Maybe there is scope for simply making translations in graphic textures, where there are otherwise limitations. I also wonder if spelling out Play as Being as opposed to PaB in some places like this pavilion station would be more informative to people less conversant with the abbreviations.
Storm Nordwind: that I noticed that despite the track seemingly carving up the place, all the the disparate parts of the village seem more integerated as a result. An interesting an fortuitous paradox.
Bleu Oleander: yes nice Storm

playasbeinghere

oO0Oo Resident: This reminds me to ask a question.. was there once a convention to say "play as Being *Here*", as in the group title?
Alfred Kelberry: some plots seem to be "intruded" though. like stev's.
Storm Nordwind: The group title was chosen by Pema.
Storm Nordwind: Play as Being was first conceived outside SL.
Storm Nordwind: So in SL, it is Play as Being "here" ;)
oO0Oo Resident: Oh I see.. ty!

Themes.

Raffila Millgrove: not a correction Storm, but you said you had no theme.. and all hosts have as a theme this week.. "what has the nine second exercise meant to you" if they chose to offer it.
Bleu Oleander: were you involved in the RL version Storm?
Raffila Millgrove: but of course the group as no obligation to accept if they are discussing something more to their liking.
Storm Nordwind: No Raffi. That theme is one of choice by others. I'll go along with it if others choose. It is not my choice.
Bleu Oleander: we had an interesting salon last evening with a possible topic for here if you like
Storm Nordwind: I found out about Play as Being less than two weeks before we started in SL, and I heard about it in SL when I was introduced to Pema!
Bleu Oleander: psychology of emotion
Raffila Millgrove: perhaps i misunderstood. I thought we were having topic themed weeks. and it was up to group to accep ttopic or not. this isn't the case?
Alfred Kelberry: xiri :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: hi xirana
Xirana Oximoxi: hello everuone! :)
Xirana Oximoxi: everyone*
Bleu Oleander: hi Xirana
Alfred Kelberry: raff, if the host chooses so
Storm Nordwind: You can have topic theme weeks, and I will gladly listen. But i will not lead Raffi. :)
Raffila Millgrove: Storm just said that the host doesn't choose.
Alfred Kelberry: :)
Storm Nordwind: No. I said this host is not choosing :)
oO0Oo Resident: Hi Xir
Xirana Oximoxi: hi Sam :)

High spirits.

Alfred Kelberry: what's your "high spirits" group tag about, xiri? :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: morning san
Xirana Oximoxi: a new place where I've been invited to exhibit:)...they take 50% of sales..for good causes:)
Santoshima Resident: morning Yaku, hello everyone
Bleu Oleander: hi San
Storm Nordwind: So I'm happy if you would like to continue in that topic Raffi.
Xirana Oximoxi: hi San :)
Alfred Kelberry: ah, i think zen has had an exhibit there as well
Raffila Millgrove: oh no not at all.. i was just mentioning that a theme had been chosen for the week.. but it's certainly not obligatory for the group to use it.. and others have interesting thoughts going already.
Xirana Oximoxi: no, it's another place :)
Alfred Kelberry: they had a 50% rule, too. if i'm correct.
Raffila Millgrove: don't want to lose bleu's idea of psychology of emotion.. which she mentioned.
Bleu Oleander: ok, just threw it out there
Xirana Oximoxi: but the place of Zen also take 50%... I just wonder if there is a place when one can find information about money that goes to Red Cross, Breat cancer ... and so on
Riddle Sideways: POE :)
Xirana Oximoxi: Breast*
Storm Nordwind: Now it's thrown, please juggle a little with it too Bleu ! :)
Bleu Oleander: ok

Psychology of emotion.

Xirana Oximoxi: do you have a topic today?
Bleu Oleander: our speaker is with the Mind and Life Institute in Boulder ... in your area of the world Storm :)
Storm Nordwind: Just down the road, yes
Bleu Oleander: the institute studies meditation
Bleu Oleander: http://www.mindandlife.org/
Bleu Oleander: the subject last evening was emotions
Alfred Kelberry: blue, there's a thing called emotion intelligence that deals with emotions as first class citizens in various settings, particular work place environment
Bleu Oleander: he suggested that a necessary component of emotions was a self-relevent appraisal
--BELL--
Bleu Oleander: to determine if the stimulus is a challenge or an effordance
Storm Nordwind wonders what an effordance is
oO0Oo Resident: can you say more.. yes..

Toning down.

Bleu Oleander: he indicated that evolution has given us a self-relevent detector
Bleu Oleander: meditation seems to tone our detectors down a bit
Bleu Oleander: destructuring our sense of self
Bleu Oleander: so we don't see so much as self relevent
Bleu Oleander: interesting ... what do you all think?
Santoshima Resident: 1? what is effordance 2 / what did you think at the time of hearing?
Bleu Oleander: An affordance is a quality of an object, or an environment, which allows an individual to perform an action.
Santoshima Resident: spelling was different above
Santoshima Resident: ty
Bleu Oleander: sorry for typos
Raffila Millgrove: very interesting idea bleu
Raffila Millgrove: ty for telling us.

Dragging the ferry boat.

Bleu Oleander: so the experienced meditators? do you find that?
Storm Nordwind: There's a saying from Indian teachers that after crossing a river in a boat, you don't continue to drag the boat with you on the land! So evolution has got us to this point (and I'm grateful) but I wonder whether we have to carry all that evolutionary baggage from here on.
Bleu Oleander: yes, that was one of his points
Bleu Oleander: meditation could help us smooth out some rough evolutionary spots
Storm Nordwind: One interesting point is that it is possible to do some forms of meditation all the time. I've found that that helps awareness and gives perspective and especially poise, so toning down detection (or not) seems more complex than that
Riddle Sideways: yes, something is too simple about "meditation seems to tone our detectors down a bit"
Bleu Oleander: in the sense of our emotions
Riddle Sideways: ok
oO0Oo Resident: can't help but wonder about "affordance" in the context of group discussions.. listening and sharing effectively.. environments.. that promote that. how that can work in contexts of no selves.. flickering.. There are absolute and reletive vectors somehow..
Santoshima Resident: vectors?
oO0Oo Resident: water and wave
oO0Oo Resident: apsects?
Santoshima Resident: for example?
Bleu Oleander: I think he was just saying that some forms of meditation can make us less self focused and so less reactive emotionally
Santoshima Resident: wonder if he could answer?
Storm Nordwind: Thank you Bleu, yes I see
oO0Oo Resident: right Bleu.. makes sense.. then i am wondering about environments and forms that support that in practical ways i guess.
Santoshima Resident: i don't think that's what he was saying, actually, but thanks bleu
Bleu Oleander: what do you think San?
Santoshima Resident: well i did ask your own response, to the talk
Santoshima Resident: and you did not reply
Santoshima Resident: still wondering
Storm Nordwind: However, we tend to sort emotions - happy, sad, positive, negative, encouraging, angry - so is the suggestion of numbness, or more e a selective enhancing of the positive vs. the negative?
Bleu Oleander: his talk made me think about emotions and how we can regulate them
--BELL--
Riddle Sideways: there are many forms, Sam. But, would rather hear Bleu's reflections

Re-appraisal.

Bleu Oleander: he was suggesting that one way we regulate our emotions is a re-appraisal ... make a different meaning
Storm Nordwind: That's interesting Bleu. Did he have examples?
oO0Oo Resident: Maybe meditation can help find more a wisdom relevance.. beyond a self-relevance
Bleu Oleander: tested older people and found out that they are less reactive due to re-appraisal
oO0Oo Resident: me listens
Bleu Oleander: another way we regulate our emotions is by showing a different emotion using facial expressions
Bleu Oleander: seems that only intensifies the emotion one is trying to hide
Bleu Oleander: so interesting the experiments they're involved in
oO0Oo Resident: fascinating
Storm Nordwind doesn't bother with hiding stuff and people find him transparent - for good and bad! ;)
Bleu Oleander: studied people who had been meditators for 10 years or more
Raffila Millgrove: that re-appraisal is a fascinating concept Bleu.. i haven't heard of studies on it before. do you have a link to any of this?
Bleu Oleander: and found that they were able to change their emotional appraisals faster than non-meditators
Raffila Millgrove: wow. or maybe what is the name of the professor doing these studies? something we might use for the search in our browwser?
Bleu Oleander: http://emotion.web.arizona.edu/Kaszniak.htm
Raffila Millgrove: ty
Bleu Oleander: that's his website
Santoshima Resident: ty
Raffila Millgrove: super. ty so much. (bookmarked for later)
Bleu Oleander: http://www.mindandlife.org/
oO0Oo Resident: Experientially the 9/90 second practice seems to confirm an opportunity to shift/reappraise? i often find this.
Santoshima Resident: yes
Bleu Oleander: yes exactly Sam
Bleu Oleander: I use it that way many times
Bleu Oleander: http://www.mindandlife.org/about/lea...-of-directors/
Bleu Oleander: they have some interesting people taking part in their org
oO0Oo Resident: emotions can flower in awarness, and kind of tell their own story

Prof. Richard Davidson's book.

Bleu Oleander: I just finished Richard Davidson's new book on emotions
oO0Oo Resident: me listens
Bleu Oleander: I would recommend it
Santoshima Resident: title?
Bleu Oleander: Emotional Life of your brain ... one sec i'll give a link
Bleu Oleander: http://psyphz.psych.wisc.edu/
Storm Nordwind notices that one honorary board member of the Mind and Life Institute was a founder of the Kira Institute.
Raffila Millgrove: gee bleu is just a fountain of info today.. so stimulating. ty again
Bleu Oleander: http://richardjdavidson.com/books/
oO0Oo Resident: ty
Bleu Oleander: yw!
Bleu Oleander: fascinating topic to me
Raffila Millgrove: it's kind of cool in a way that others picked up on the idea that nine second exercise can help in the reappraisals. so we reference to the week theme after all. kinda cool.
Bleu Oleander: :))
oO0Oo Resident: :)
Bleu Oleander: ty Raffi!
Raffila Millgrove: organically i mean.. wandering over.. in an organic process.
--BELL--

Listening deeply.

oO0Oo Resident: I am so interested in the dialogue that can occur at the individual level, compared to 'one on one', then small group, and then larger groups.. in terms of managing emotions and all manner of reactions, ability to listen deeply, and to share effectively.
Bleu Oleander: listening deeply ... another fascinating topic to me
Bleu Oleander: also a great book :)
Bleu Oleander: the great animal orchestra
Bleu Oleander: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/15/bo..._r=1&ref=books
oO0Oo Resident: it is as though, at times, the 9/90 second practice gives opportunity to scale in that way.. between self and others, inner outer, biophony, anthrophony, geophony...

Misattribution.

Raffila Millgrove: i discovered as a reporter--to never interview more than one person at a time if possible because when a group.. talks.. people don't even realize "who said what".. you can show them a transcript and still they are claiming that they said.. something different. they tend to claim each other's comments believe it or not.. not realize someone else said something, not them.
Bleu Oleander: great review with some wonderful ideas mentioned about listening deeply
Santoshima Resident: that's interesting, Raffi
Raffila Millgrove: yeah it blew my mind.. but after two or 3 episodes with it.. i had to beleieve that this happens all the time.. people don't really know.. who said what.. after a conversation takes place.
Raffila Millgrove: if there's more than two people involved.
Bleu Oleander: interesting Raffi
Santoshima Resident: that understanding must have really changed the way you approached engaging with interviewees
Storm Nordwind: In person raffi, or just text chat like this?
Raffila Millgrove: and the risk to me.. of reversing people.. whew it was the only big mistake i made in six years--I attributed the wrong quote.. and the parties involved honestly talked about a lawyer.. i was flabberghasted. and scared too.
Xirana Oximoxi: in text chat is easy to check
Bleu Oleander: we find that happens too
Bleu Oleander: not sure though whether its the interviewer or the interviewees ... or maybe both
Raffila Millgrove: it's so common.. to get your "who said what" reversed. or to even think you said something--when you didn't. so weird.
Raffila Millgrove: it is both. interviewer and interviewees. I didn't do it anymore after that disaster. (which was very minor really but not to the parties involved).
Santoshima Resident: the claiming of the words not one's own is some sort of misidentification ... self-reference
Santoshima Resident: it seems
Xirana Oximoxi: I think that probably the communication, one to one, or in a small group or in a lerge one...will always be related to individual interest in the subjects, knowlegde...and so on...
Raffila Millgrove: it is. people resonate with what's said and they they .. i said that.
Santoshima Resident: right
Raffila Millgrove: can happen in one-to-one but much more common when it's 3 or more.
Santoshima Resident: hmm
Storm Nordwind: I know I've misattributed things mentally to different people in text, but not in person. Perhaps I find it easier to get the "whole person" each time when face to face, as there's so much people say that that they don't say! And it's harder to experience all that in text for me.
Bleu Oleander: so something to be said for typing like this :)
Santoshima Resident: indeed
Raffila Millgrove: i often re read our logs because i have mentally misattributed.
Bleu Oleander: me too
oO0Oo Resident: If it is recorded accurately.
Santoshima Resident: subtle communication methods are bypassed
Xirana Oximoxi: well...it can happen to me to forget who has said something, but not so easy if I have said it... even it ccan also happen
Santoshima Resident: one needs to be able to type and type quickly
Raffila Millgrove: well typing slow has many advantages.. as people have longer to process.

Voice-to-text.

Santoshima Resident: my friend, who is interested in this group wold have not way of joining
Santoshima Resident: parkinsons
Santoshima Resident: and cannot handle a keyboard
Santoshima Resident: so
Raffila Millgrove: aren't there voice systems that will type for you. i think maybe so?
Santoshima Resident: here?
Santoshima Resident: do we have at PaB?
Santoshima Resident: do't think so
Riddle Sideways: yes
Santoshima Resident: oh i see raffi
Raffila Millgrove: there are applications that let you speak .. voice-to-text.
Xirana Oximoxi: I have to reread our logs, and when I do I go slowly and a lot of times I read comment I was not aware or have not understood first time :) ...sometimes the thoughs come quickly here :-)
Santoshima Resident: is see
Santoshima Resident: i
oO0Oo Resident: Zen has a lot of experience with voice to text applications.
Santoshima Resident: will ask him
Raffila Millgrove: totally blind often use. to "read".. then they can speak too.. and it will be converted to text.
Bleu Oleander: have to go ... take care all ... thanks for an interesting conversation :)
Xirana Oximoxi: bye bye Bleu! take care :)
Storm Nordwind: Bye Bleu and thank you so much!
Yakuzza Lethecus: bye bleu, all leavers
oO0Oo Resident: ty Blue
Bleu Oleander: bye bye
Raffila Millgrove: maybe your friend could use an application like that?
Santoshima Resident: bye bleu, thanks for the converation
Santoshima Resident: sa
Raffila Millgrove: oh perhaps they could just speak in voice here and one of us could transcribe?
Raffila Millgrove: would that be allowed?
Raffila Millgrove: it is a shame to exclude someone who'd like to participate.
Santoshima Resident: i will investigate, thanks raffi and all for the suggestions
Raffila Millgrove: hehe we call that adaptation in the blind world. we have many.
Xirana Oximoxi: I go now, have a nice day all!
--BELL--
Storm Nordwind had thought of voice-to-text for himself, as he types so slowly, but then it would limit where he could communicate, as his voice would be intrusive to others around him.
Santoshima Resident: lovely day, Xir
Riddle Sideways: bye all, have your best day

Inviting the silent ones.

oO0Oo Resident: Sometimes I feel to invite the silent ones to share anything on their minds.. Boxy.. yaku.. Riddle?
oO0Oo Resident: Oops.. OK.. Bye Riddle
Raffila Millgrove: its strange that you feel your typing is slow Storm, cause i spent a lot of time with non English speakers who are trying to translate as they are typing.. and they really are Slow.. you're not to me.
Santoshima Resident: bye riddle
Storm Nordwind: You're too kind Raffi!
Storm Nordwind: And Sam that's what I automatically do face to face, but sometimes harder in text I feel
oO0Oo Resident nods
Raffila Millgrove: it is harder to nod to someone.. like inviting them to say something.. or catch their eye like you do real life..
oO0Oo Resident: Think there is a wealth of wisdom in the silent minds
Santoshima Resident: including your own
oO0Oo Resident: anyway.. must go.. tc everybody.. Nice session.
Raffila Millgrove: it's to.. bold and in-your-face when you try to encourage someone in text.. we run into a lot in some meets i go to.. how to.. gently invite others to speak.. with no physical cues.
Raffila Millgrove: bye -0-
Yakuzza Lethecus: bye sam
Storm Nordwind nods
Santoshima Resident: bye Sam
Raffila Millgrove: I am glad bleu told us so much! now i have so many links to pursue...
Yakuzza Lethecus: yes, she´s always a fountain for good thought
Raffila Millgrove: well i have a few minutes free right now.. so i think.. i hop away so i can get to it on the links.
Yakuzza Lethecus: bye raffi
Storm Nordwind waves
Raffila Millgrove: cheers all. have a great day/eve.
Santoshima Resident: bye Raffi, thanks for your insights

"QUIET PLEASE!!!"

Yakuzza Lethecus: boxy, btw. why did you remove the talk warning from the ribbion during the 90 sec ?
Storm Nordwind chuckles
Storm Nordwind: Perhaps it was the equivalent of shouting loudly "QUIET PLEASE!!!"
Santoshima Resident: :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: hihi, but without a schoolmaster to blame :)
Storm Nordwind: hehe!
Storm Nordwind: "Listen here boys - Every time I open my mouth, a silly idiot speaks"
Storm Nordwind: (Old British school joke)

Listening while speaking.

Storm Nordwind: The whole person listening thing is interesting to me - and why it's harder in SL...
Santoshima Resident: yes
Santoshima Resident: that IS very interesting
Storm Nordwind: I found when public speaking that I had to listen when speaking...
Storm Nordwind: but not just audibly...
Storm Nordwind: somehow with the whole being...
Storm Nordwind: to how people were reacting, what they were feeling...
Storm Nordwind: and so adjust what I said as I went on
--BELL--
Storm Nordwind: San - you have thoughts on this? :)
Santoshima Resident: you're describing a flow
Santoshima Resident: of energetic exchange
Storm Nordwind: yes
Santoshima Resident: it makes so much sense
Santoshima Resident: you are sharing ... information ... feeling ... and it's not just in the form of words
Storm Nordwind: Right!
Santoshima Resident: receptivity is needed
Santoshima Resident: for understanding to arise
Santoshima Resident: sensitivity and compassion are needed
Santoshima Resident: to respond to the signals
Santoshima Resident: from the people listening
Santoshima Resident: to have a sense of their experience of what is received
Storm Nordwind: yes
Santoshima Resident: it's not a one-way excahgne
Santoshima Resident: exchange
Santoshima Resident: multi-dimentional
Storm Nordwind: The "trick" or perhaps skill or sensitivity comes when there are hundreds of people and not just a handful. Balancing things. Hard to do. But when you become the flow, as you called it, it's easier. You find the right channels, like water :)
Santoshima Resident: i've seen people whom i felt were really great teachers
Alfred Kelberry: hi :)
Santoshima Resident: teaching very large groups
Santoshima Resident: and been participant in that
Santoshima Resident: and i can see there is tremendous skill involved
Alfred Kelberry: yaku, it wasn't effective. people didn't notice it.
Alfred Kelberry: sorry, i've been away. caught it in the backlog.
Storm Nordwind: I don't know about skill. It takes courage to remove barriers - and that may be the only real skill. To remove presumtions and just BE with everyone there.
Santoshima Resident: yes
Yakuzza Lethecus: thx everyone!
Storm Nordwind: There are tricks of course, I've taught people. Did a bit at Vashon before you were there. Breathing, visualizing, including. But after a while you've become what is, and you don't think about it.
Santoshima Resident: thanks, Yaku
Storm Nordwind: Bye Yaku!
Santoshima Resident: yes, i remember from Vashon, the short time I was there
Santoshima Resident: very useful
--BELL--
Santoshima Resident: typing and erasing
Storm Nordwind smiles

Voice during karuna-metta meditation

Santoshima Resident: want to thank you for adding the voice to the metta-mediation
Santoshima Resident: meditation
Santoshima Resident: it adds a dimension that helps so much
Storm Nordwind: Oh - you find it useful? I'm so pleased :)
Santoshima Resident: :)
Santoshima Resident: be well ~ lovely to talk with you this morning
Storm Nordwind: You too!
Santoshima Resident: bye for no
Storm Nordwind: Bye!
Santoshima Resident: now!
Storm Nordwind: I will go too Boxy. Have a great rest of the day :)