The Guardian for this meeting was Bruce Mowbray. The comments are by Bruce Mowbray.

Bruce Mowbray: Hello, Cat!
Bruce Mowbray: Good to see you!
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Bruce :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: you too
Bruce Mowbray: Was just trying to catch up with the chat logs -- reading of your conversations earlier this week.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: I like to talk :)
Bruce Mowbray: wonderful!
Catrinamonblue Resident: it's a way to learn and discover
Bruce Mowbray: My problem is that I can't seem to remember all that was said -- or by whom -- or even the context.

--BELL--

Catrinamonblue Resident: :) me too - even conversations I was a part of :)
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Bruce Mowbray: Well, then, every new session is a new beginning.
Catrinamonblue Resident: was just about to say the same thing :)
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Bruce Mowbray: I seem to be sorely in need of new beginnings right now.
Bruce Mowbray: will take them wherever I can find them.
Catrinamonblue Resident: I'm in the midst of new beginnings not always happy or easy to do
Bruce Mowbray: Indeed.
Bruce Mowbray: So I guess one needs to weigh whether launching new beginnings would be as rough as holding on to old ones.
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes well sometimes we get kicked into new beginnings whether we yea or nay :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: it may be rough but I think will be better in the end
Bruce Mowbray: or, I probably should have said: "Whether new beginnings might become as rough as some of the old ones were." -- or something like that!
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Bruce Mowbray: I guess I've been kicked into new beginnings my whole life..
Bruce Mowbray: and most of them were fortunate changes of scenery, companions, and destinies.
Catrinamonblue Resident: I sometimes think we don't really choose new beginnings they choose us
Bruce Mowbray: Hmmm... I'd like to think so,
Bruce Mowbray: since I'm not such a hot chooser for myself!
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Zon
Bruce Mowbray: I think that I trust the cosmos and its ways far more than I trust my own judgment.
Bruce Mowbray: Heya, Zon!
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods :)
Bruce Mowbray: I was watching a play by Brecht last night ("The Mother of Courage and Her Children") and the main character (played by Meryl Streep) said she'd rather be made by God than made by circumstance -- and by "God" I think she meant something gracious.
Bruce Mowbray: Something like Cosmic Graciousness.
Catrinamonblue Resident: I like that :)
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, I liked it too.
Zon Kwan: heya
Bruce Mowbray: Sort of a giving of oneself over to the larger picture, as it were.
Bruce Mowbray: Heya, Zon.
Bruce Mowbray: But when it comes to "others," well, they are not always so gracious . . . or so it seems to me, of late.
Bruce Mowbray: or perhaps they are. . . and I've not given myself over to their graciousness.
Bruce Mowbray: or, given myself openness to it.
Catrinamonblue Resident: sometimes not, but I think that the potential is there and they bury it
Catrinamonblue Resident: not wanting to be hurt by showing it
Bruce Mowbray: Hmmm. I almost always put the "blame" on myself....
Catrinamonblue Resident: I try not to blame, it doesn't do anything really, doesn't change anything
Bruce Mowbray: "If I only opened myself sufficiently. . . ."
Bruce Mowbray: Indeed, blame is probably the most useless of all things that I do.
Catrinamonblue Resident: and only serves to make one feel bad the shoulda woulda coulda syndrome
Bruce Mowbray: Yeppers!  Right on, Cat!
Catrinamonblue Resident: a lesson I learned is all
Bruce Mowbray: I also have the "If-Only" syndrome.
Catrinamonblue Resident: just as bad ;)
Bruce Mowbray: If only I didn't have this ..... (mole on my cheek, or whatever)....

--BELL--

Catrinamonblue Resident: I think we all fall into "if only" at some point, it allows us a chance to work out an alternative ending, so as the next time we encounter that situation we, hopefully, will try a new ending :)
Bruce Mowbray: I like that! --- working out new endings...
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: I also love counterfactuals...
Catrinamonblue Resident: counterfactuals?
Bruce Mowbray: Musings that are counter to "actual fact."
Catrinamonblue Resident: ah
Bruce Mowbray: Finding the knobs to tweak -- and tweaking them slightly differently than they "actually" have been tweaked....
Catrinamonblue Resident: smiles
Bruce Mowbray: Finding someone's face-knob, and tweaking it to form a smile!
Catrinamonblue Resident: grins :)
Bruce Mowbray: Finding a weather-knob and tweaking it to make a sunny day.
Catrinamonblue Resident: wish I knew where that knob was :)
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, finding the knobs is a challenge....
Catrinamonblue Resident: lol
Bruce Mowbray: Only knowing where it is/was and whether that's the right one to tweak.
Bruce Mowbray: But usually, just looking for the knob brings a good result.
Bruce Mowbray: If one wishes to change the channel on the telly,
Bruce Mowbray: then it's best not to tweak the 'volume' knob by mistake.
Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Druth
Bruce Mowbray: Heya, Druth!
druth Vlodovic: hi guys
Zon Kwan: waves
Catrinamonblue Resident now tweaks camera knob to see everyone
Bruce Mowbray: Bye, Zon!
Bruce Mowbray: Perhaps the term "disability" means not being able to tweak as many knobs as so-called "normal" folks are able to tweak.
Bruce Mowbray: or. . .  not being able to tweak some certain knob -- whether more or less, doesn't matter.
Catrinamonblue Resident: or maybe they can tweak more knobs than the rest of us :)
Bruce Mowbray looks for some likely knobs to tweak counterfactually....
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: I think that might be one of the advantages of disability, Cat. . .
Bruce Mowbray: having alternative choices.
druth Vlodovic: we get enough of that in SL as it is :-/
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Bruce Mowbray ponders, "If I were the king of the forest...."
Bruce Mowbray also ponders, "If I only had a brain...."
Catrinamonblue Resident: I would run all day :) just for the joy of it
Bruce Mowbray: or, a heart, or courage.
Catrinamonblue Resident: and not think!!
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Bruce Mowbray: Yayyyy!
druth Vlodovic: "if I only..." :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: but why wait for then?
Catrinamonblue Resident: take what you have now and go!!
Bruce Mowbray: Before you arrived, Druth, we were discussing the "If Only" syndrome....
druth Vlodovic: ah, sneaky
druth Vlodovic: you have to watch talking about the advantages of disability though

---- I gave this copy/paste to druth in the chat log . . .   Probably "should" have given it to her as an IM ....

Bruce Mowbray: [13:13] Bruce (bruce.mowbray): Indeed, blame is probably the most useless of all things that I do. [13:13] Catrinamonblue: and only serves to make one feel bad the shoulda woulda coulda syndrome [13:14] Bruce (bruce.mowbray): yeppers, right on, Cat! [13:14] Catrinamonblue: a lesson I learned is all [13:14] Bruce (bruce.mowbray): I also have the "if only" syndrome. [13:14] Catrinamonblue: just as bad ;) [13:14] Bruce (bruce.mowbray): If only I didn't have this ..... (mole on my cheek, or whatever)....

druth Vlodovic: people who are disabled in some way often get angry about people not tweaking the knobs they no longer have
Bruce Mowbray: Indeed, Druth.
Bruce Mowbray: Perhaps so-called "disabled" people want us to tweak the knobs that they DO have... now, instead...
druth Vlodovic: "the grass is always greener on the other side"
Bruce Mowbray: In other words, to recognize them for what they ARE -- not for what they are not, or what they were, or might have been.
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods

--BELL--

Catrinamonblue Resident: I have learned that the grass is never greener on the other side :)
Bruce Mowbray: I worked with adults with profound mental retardation for 13 years -- as a group home manager...
Bruce Mowbray drops...
Bruce Mowbray ponders, "To thine own grass (and thine own knobs) be true. . . " (If only Shakespeare had known about this stuff!  Hastens, anon, to tweak his Shakespeare knob....)
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
druth Vlodovic: better to withhold judgment (I almost said "accept") on a person and let them say what they are
Bruce Mowbray: . . . but what is a knob FOR if not tweaking?
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: Imagination was born to give birth to counterfactuals.
druth Vlodovic: are you referring to tweaking your own knobs, or those of others?
Bruce Mowbray: Oh!
Catrinamonblue Resident: or both :)
Bruce Mowbray: I can only tweak my own knobs, of course.
druth Vlodovic: :)
Bruce Mowbray: impossible to tweak anyone else's.
Catrinamonblue Resident: but if-only's allow you to tweak others in mind
druth Vlodovic: people try
Bruce Mowbray: except in my imagination -- my counterfactual imagination...
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, they do try.
Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
Bruce Mowbray: So much trouble comes from trying to tweak others' knobs, I suppose.
druth Vlodovic: if you keep imagining things as counterfactual, how will they ever become factual?
Bruce Mowbray: How can they become factual if I DON'T first imagine their counterfactuality, though?
Catrinamonblue Resident: as a therapist taught me, you can only control your own reactions - not that of others, but by changing your reactions others reactions will change as well
Catrinamonblue Resident: so you can tweak others :)
Bruce Mowbray: yeppers, that was a wise therapist, by my reckoning.
Catrinamonblue Resident: by tweaking yourself
druth Vlodovic: hmm
Bruce Mowbray: Just a wee tweak of my own knobs, then... and the whole world changes!
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
Bruce Mowbray: See how easy it is!
druth Vlodovic: if you expect others to change when you change yourself, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment
Bruce Mowbray ponders -  So many years wasted looking for the wrong knobs to tweak...
Catrinamonblue Resident: it's not expecting change in others really - at least I never did; but it did happen :)
Bruce Mowbray looks for his "Disappointment Knob" to tweak to low volume.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
druth Vlodovic: how to tone down disappointment without toning down anticipation
Bruce Mowbray: Hmmmmm.
druth Vlodovic: often knobs are interconnected in ways we don't prefer
Bruce Mowbray: I had a young friend once who said that all anticipation was a waste of time, energy, and spirit.
Catrinamonblue Resident: looks at knob connections to untangle
Bruce Mowbray: but for myself --- I LOVE to anticipate things!
druth Vlodovic: I look at how much enjoyment children get out of it and I wonder
Bruce Mowbray: I love to anticipate what it will be like to be in New York again!
Bruce Mowbray: I love to anticipate spring's coming, again!
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
druth Vlodovic: maybe we should immerse ourselves in life but hold nothing
Bruce Mowbray: I love to anticipate waking up tomorrow morning!
druth Vlodovic: the agony and the ecstasy of Bruce
Bruce Mowbray: Typos are SUCH an agony!
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: I am now tweaking my typing knob -- so that whenever I misspell a word (or leave out a word), a bell will ring to warn me - before I hit the ENTER key.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
druth Vlodovic: as long as we understand
Bruce Mowbray: sounds like an idea for an app, no?
druth Vlodovic: a typo-less conversation would seem a little less friendly
Catrinamonblue Resident: a good one :)
Bruce Mowbray: an app with a bell to indicate a typo!
Bruce Mowbray: Well, we have spell-checkers, so why not?!
druth Vlodovic: once i made an alt and decided that everything he would type would be properly capitalized, punctuated, and spelled
druth Vlodovic: didn't last long
Bruce Mowbray: Hmmm. So, you would not tweak the Typo-Knob, druth?
druth Vlodovic: I correct from time to time
druth Vlodovic: "to err is human"
druth Vlodovic: and I'm fairly human
Bruce Mowbray: You know, that's an on-going debate in PaB... whether to edit out the typos....
Bruce Mowbray: some say that the typos are a way of showing mood, temperament, disposition, posture, nonverbal clues....
druth Vlodovic: I spell-check on mine unless it becomes part of the conversation
Bruce Mowbray: but, as an ex-English teacher of many years, I compulsively edit out the so-called "mistakes."
Bruce Mowbray: (Shame on me - for editing out the non-verbal also!)
druth Vlodovic: when I get excited I forget spaces, or maybe that is just when i am tired, or lazy...
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: so, now we'll know when your tired or feeling lazy!
Bruce Mowbray: Getting to KNOW you!
druth Vlodovic: so much for texting language :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: ^.^
Bruce Mowbray: you're*********
Bruce Mowbray: OMG
druth Vlodovic: ???
druth Vlodovic: lol
Bruce Mowbray: Did I really type "your" when I meant to type "YOU'RE" ????
druth Vlodovic: "slow on the uptake"
druth Vlodovic: an English teacher meets SL :)
Bruce Mowbray: This is a form of OCD, perhaps.

--BELL--

Catrinamonblue Resident: well hello Blub :)
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)  Blub comes to his master's rescue.
druth Vlodovic: wb blub, ltns
Bruce Mowbray wonders if he should tweak Blub's knobs so that he stays closer to home.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
druth Vlodovic: "if only I could meet people" "if only I had places to go" "if only I knew what to say to people"
druth Vlodovic: SL has it's uses on "If-Only"
druth Vlodovic: Blub loves me :)
Bruce Mowbray: Blub loves you, druth, but -- (and don't be offended by this, please), but Blub loves everyone....
Bruce Mowbray: and is a very curious and friendly fish.
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
Bruce Mowbray: I let him out of his aquarium very seldom, actually.
Catrinamonblue Resident: Blub has a friend, does he have a name Druth?
Bruce Mowbray: OH! A golden fish!!!!

druth Vlodovic: I find it funny how much more mentally less-abled people smile than their more abled peers
druth Vlodovic: a clown fish, smiling away :)
druth Vlodovic: fish just are, names are for the use of others
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Catrinamonblue Resident: smiles
Bruce Mowbray: The names of anything in "nature" are the same; only humans name things.
druth Vlodovic: names are useful
druth Vlodovic: I have started reading about the Tao
Bruce Mowbray: That's one of the biggies in the book of Genesis, actually.... the naming of things.
Bruce Mowbray listens for more about the Tao.
druth Vlodovic: and it warns against naming or defining the Tao, thus limiting it
Bruce Mowbray: yes!
druth Vlodovic: of course that is the function of both naming and defining
Bruce Mowbray: To name something is to "set the knob" so it cannot be easily tweaked again, perhaps.
druth Vlodovic: but putting a knob on something defines it's function
druth Vlodovic: and makes it easier to tweak
Bruce Mowbray: oh yes.
Bruce Mowbray: Maybe it is not "ours" to be able to tweak all knobs, though.
druth Vlodovic: it is fun to allow the indefinable
Bruce Mowbray: Some knobs, perhaps, "should" be left to Cosmos to tweak....
druth Vlodovic: but we have to be careful to define when we allow it and when we define it :)
druth Vlodovic: hate to make a mistake in deciding which to do
Bruce Mowbray weighs the difference between "To thine own knobs be true" and "To thy Cosmos be true."
druth Vlodovic: lol, I am me, and the cosmos is, well, whatever
Bruce Mowbray hopes that Cat will weigh in on this.
druth Vlodovic: should I be true to it?
Bruce Mowbray: Are you not also the Cosmos, druth?
Catrinamonblue Resident: sry just stepped away for a moment
Catrinamonblue Resident: catching up
Bruce Mowbray: Is the Cosmos an "other" to you?
druth Vlodovic: perhaps the only way to be untrue to it is to try too hard to shape oneself by it's imagined strictures
Bruce Mowbray: kk, Cat. WB!!!!
Catrinamonblue Resident: the only knobs that can be tweaked, really, are your own
Catrinamonblue Resident: the rest is up to the cosmos
druth Vlodovic: or to shape it by my imagined strictures
Bruce Mowbray: OH, I so agree with you on that one, Cat!
druth Vlodovic: turning my knobs to change the universe
Catrinamonblue Resident: so why worry about it :)
druth Vlodovic: because it can be useful, or cool, to do so
Bruce Mowbray: Perhaps Cosmos would like to keep us 'on our toes,' so to speak.
Catrinamonblue Resident: I don't think the universe changes so much as your perception of it
Bruce Mowbray: Hmmmmm.
Bruce Mowbray: So, "Perception" - obviously - is one of the knobs we can change.
Catrinamonblue Resident: as you tweak yourself you change the way you see things
Bruce Mowbray: Yes!
Catrinamonblue Resident: smiles
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Bruce Mowbray: "Me make our own worlds."
Bruce Mowbray: also, "We".
Bruce Mowbray: ;-)
Bruce Mowbray: My kingdom for an app that spots typos - and rings a bell!
Catrinamonblue Resident: It seems funny to me but I keep coming back to compassion and patience, in dealing with myself and others, the more deeply I see myself the more compassion I seem to have to myself and others.
Bruce Mowbray: Yes, isn't that wonderful, Cat?
Bruce Mowbray: How it works that way, I mean?
Catrinamonblue Resident: it's taking some getting used to :)
Bruce Mowbray: That's why I say that the Cosmos is gracious.
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes

Bruce Mowbray: because it works that way.

--BELL--

 
druth Vlodovic: http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2088#comic
Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
druth Vlodovic: why we tweak knobs :)
druth Vlodovic: I rather preferred the idea that the cosmos doesn't really have the ability to care or not
druth Vlodovic: it just is
Bruce Mowbray ponders his "Trapping Anti-matter" knob.
Bruce Mowbray: Not care, druth?
Bruce Mowbray: Hmmmm.
druth Vlodovic: if you drop a rock, does it care whether or not it lands on your foot?
Bruce Mowbray: Aristotle said that objects fall to earth because they yearn to return to where they started out.
druth Vlodovic: and yet we use this fact to decide whether or not to curse it
druth Vlodovic: what happens
Bruce Mowbray ponders tweaking his "CURSING" knob.
druth Vlodovic: and what people do is what they do
druth Vlodovic: and when what they do is something i dislike,  i act according to my own impulses
Bruce Mowbray: Well, then, I suppose what whatever happens is cool....
druth Vlodovic: grudges have always puzzled me
Bruce Mowbray: Some would even say, "Whatever is, is God." (like Byron Katie does.)
Catrinamonblue Resident: grudges are a waste of energy
Bruce Mowbray: Oh yes, they are -- like blaming.
druth Vlodovic: nah, then you have something to cuss at, God's main function
Bruce Mowbray: Hey, you two beautiful beings, I need to go now.
Catrinamonblue Resident: np :)
Bruce Mowbray: THANKS so much for sharing this time with me and with each other.
Catrinamonblue Resident: it has been fun talking with you Bruce
druth Vlodovic: ah, have fun Mr. Mowbray
Bruce Mowbray: Blub waves a fin!
druth Vlodovic: I look forward to the release of the Brucing app
Catrinamonblue Resident: bye Blub
Catrinamonblue Resident: Bye Druth :)
druth Vlodovic: have fun cat