2013.06.18 19:00 - colours of equanimity

     

    The Guardian for this meeting was Eos Amaterasu. The comments are by Eos Amaterasu.

     

    Eos Amaterasu: Osiyo
    Korel Laloix: heya... smiles
    Korel Laloix: Good to see you today.
    Eos Amaterasu: Hi Korel
    Eos Amaterasu: Lady in Green :-)
    Korel Laloix: I do like to wear grean and black here in Sl as I can't wear them RL.

    2013-06-19_Eos_Korel.png


    --BELL--


    Eos Amaterasu: your preference to not wear them in RL?
    Korel Laloix: Well, as I am so skinny, wearing black makes me look rather anorexic... and green just classes with my skin tone.
    Korel Laloix: But, I am one of the few people that can get away with wearing orange.
    Eos Amaterasu: :-)
    Eos Amaterasu: "orange is young and full of daring"
    Korel Laloix: I just like it.. it draws good attention..smiles
    Eos Amaterasu: Hi Lila
    Eos Amaterasu: also somewhat in green :-)
    Lila Darkmatter: Evening Eos, Korel :)
    Korel Laloix: heya

    2013-06-19_Eos_Korel_Lila.png


    Eos Amaterasu: I think this week's theme is something around when to be still and when to act?
    Lila Darkmatter: yes
    Catrinamonblue Resident: 's current display-name is "Catrinamonblue".
    Korel Laloix: That really has been a deep arguement with me here for a long time.
    Eos Amaterasu listens
    Lila Darkmatter: Hi Catrina :)
    Eos Amaterasu: hi cat
    Catrinamonblue Resident: hello very laggy tonight :)
    Korel Laloix: I really reject the idea of equinimity as I think it is an excuse for passiveness.
    Eos Amaterasu: hmmm
    Eos Amaterasu: purrrrr
    Eos Amaterasu: pounce!
    Beautifulmarira Resident: 's current display-name is "Mari".
    Lila Darkmatter: Hi Mari :)
    Korel Laloix: Heya
    Eos Amaterasu: Hi Mari
    Beautifulmarira Resident: hi, can't stay long but thought to drop in a mom
    Lila Darkmatter: :)
    Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
    Korel Laloix: So I think the idea that you should not let things emotionally effect you is dangerous... get mad, get over it and do something.
    Lila Darkmatter: equanimity as inaction I think is a misunderstanding... considering that inaction can also be/is an action
    Eos Amaterasu: think you're right about that, Korel
    Eos Amaterasu: but really equanimity is not so much _not_ having or being affected by things
    Eos Amaterasu: but somehow resting in their own deeper nature, whatever their colors
    Eos Amaterasu: orange, green
    Eos Amaterasu: red, black
    Eos Amaterasu: not letting things affect you creates a hard shell
    Korel Laloix: After all the discussion here and some outside reading, I still have a very negative impression on the idea.
    Eos Amaterasu: but then also you can't just be a pushover
    Eos Amaterasu: that's also kind of flighty
    Korel Laloix: Just seems like a way of thinking that robs you of passion.
    Korel Laloix: Where that is appreciation of something breathtaking.. or the outrage from a gross injusticd.
    Lila Darkmatter: "spontaneous right action" would come from a place that isn't reactive in the sense of self-destructive
    Korel Laloix: Not sure what you mena Lila.
    Korel Laloix: mean
    Lila Darkmatter: as in martial arts... so the martial artist doesn't jump in unecessarily
    Korel Laloix: A bit beyond my English I think.
    Lila Darkmatter: but doesn't not respond
    Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
    Lila Darkmatter: there is a timing and resting in a wider perspective
    Korel Laloix: yes, but that does not require equinimity.
    Lila Darkmatter: we hear the word very differently I think
    Lila Darkmatter: passivity is how I hear you hearing equanimity
    Korel Laloix: You can still let the moment engulf you and not do something irrational.
    Korel Laloix: That is very possible.
    Lila Darkmatter: but passivity can be active too so I guess there are gradations
    Lila Darkmatter: ah, I do agree with that for sure
    Eos Amaterasu: maybe it's about being affected - not closed - but also not reactive
    Catrinamonblue Resident: to see the wider perspective we have to step back, take a pause to assess I think, to be still and wait
    Korel Laloix: Why not be reative if that is the right thing to do though?
    Eos Amaterasu: exactly
    Lila Darkmatter nods
    Eos Amaterasu: how do you know it's the right thing, the right time, the right action?
    Eos Amaterasu: maybe you don't "know"
    Catrinamonblue Resident: what I am finding hard is to know if the action is really the right thing to do or to wait and see what happens
    Korel Laloix: It is analysis and dicision.
    Korel Laloix: So.. just sit back and watch a crime unfold and do nothing about it?
    Catrinamonblue Resident: no
    Catrinamonblue Resident: I did act when it was necessary
    Catrinamonblue Resident: but now
    Catrinamonblue Resident: in the aftermath
    Catrinamonblue Resident: watching a person self destruct


    --BELL--


    Eos Amaterasu: when the arms and legs are moving the intention is very clear and open and in stillness/flow
    Catrinamonblue Resident: and being still, but now I am feeling forced into an action I do not wish to take
    Catrinamonblue Resident: so do I stay still or do I act
    Lila Darkmatter: :) thinks of the Clash
    Eos Amaterasu: maybe feel the texture of that force?
    Catrinamonblue Resident: even if it is to the detriment of another though there is no choice
    Korel Laloix: But sometimes you need to do things you don't want to.
    Lila Darkmatter: true
    Catrinamonblue Resident: yes I know and that hurts me
    Korel Laloix: I know the feeling.
    Lila Darkmatter: something about due diligence... having done all one can to reason and then letting that go for intuition, instinct
    Lila Darkmatter: and some sense that one really did their best to figure it out
    Korel Laloix: Maybe someone has another definition of equanimity, but for me, in my present understanding of the concept, it is something to be avoided. It seems to deprive us the real depth of living.
    Eos Amaterasu: hi stevie
    Korel Laloix: heya
    Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Steve
    stevenaia Michinaga: waves

    Lila Darkmatter: and in some cases that one feels confident they can give account, knowing that their rationale was/is limited and may make not much sense to those around them
    Lila Darkmatter: Hi Stevie :)
    Eos Amaterasu: anaesthetized ≠ equanimous
    stevenaia Michinaga: Nice topics for the week(s):)
    Korel Laloix: I have found this discussions about the subject very informative and thought provoking though.
    Lila Darkmatter nods... me too
    Eos Amaterasu: an -aesthetic : non -appreciative, non perceiving, non feeling
    Eos Amaterasu: equanimity seems more like a quality of anima, spirit, soul, energy
    Lila Darkmatter: very interesting
    Eos Amaterasu: maybe contained in itself, so not buffeted around so easiily
    Eos Amaterasu: but in touch with its own energy?
    Lila Darkmatter: like a tiger arising in a situation where appropriate, or a mouse?
    Eos Amaterasu: back to the cat.... ha ha exactly
    Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
    Eos Amaterasu: :-)
    Lila Darkmatter: :)
    Eos Amaterasu: I guess some kinds of hunting have that quality
    Eos Amaterasu: like in biathlon
    Eos Amaterasu: fast skiing, total stillness, shot!
    Lila Darkmatter smiles....
    Lila Darkmatter has the Heat game on and thinks these guys get the when to act thing... they are in a dance, a collaboration with a whole situation - it isn't exactly being "balanced"... more energetic
    Eos Amaterasu: animal presence in its own active energy
    Lila Darkmatter: they've done their practice off-court and when the situation arises what comes through is a surprise, no time to plan anymore
    Eos Amaterasu: how to occupy activity
    Eos Amaterasu: maybe one question is how equanimity and empathy can be one
    Korel Laloix: That seems a stretch.. but please explain.
    Lila Darkmatter: :)
    Catrinamonblue Resident: listens
    Korel Laloix: Empathy seems the exact opposite.
    Eos Amaterasu: if you're not busily occupying yourself with yourself, maybe the other's energy can be allowed to be, just as it is
    Eos Amaterasu: your colour arises in me


    --BELL--


    Korel Laloix: Not sure what you mean on that one either... smiles
    Eos Amaterasu: Jimi Hendrix said it best: "All these emotions of mine keep holding me from giving my life to a rainbow like you"
    Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
    Korel Laloix: Sonuds like a lot of negative emotions.
    Lila Darkmatter: empathy is more than being helpful? it comes not from what one might reason that someone needs but responsive connection? knowing?
    Eos Amaterasu: positive ones are harder to deal with :-)
    Eos Amaterasu: yeah, allowing connection seems key
    Korel Laloix: That is true... but to me, equanimity is the opposite of empathy. Not allowing yourself to really feel what they are feeling.
    Catrinamonblue Resident: I have looked at equanimity as finding the balance point between the emotions
    Catrinamonblue Resident: it's not about not feeling them but balancing them
    Korel Laloix: I guess that makes a bit of sense to me.
    Korel Laloix: Thank you.
    Lila Darkmatter: could also be seen as opposite of prejudice or fear... in a sense of feeling with someone not based on their being like oneself or necessarily comfortable
    Korel Laloix: I can see that maybe.
    Lila Darkmatter: but I have nothing to say about emotions cause I can't understand them either :P
    Korel Laloix: I just see value in emotion, and I would rather feel it and direct it then squash it.
    Lila Darkmatter nods
    Catrinamonblue Resident: I agree Korel
    Lila Darkmatter: agree too
    Korel Laloix: And equimiity seems to kill that idea.
    Korel Laloix: It says, don't let yourself get engulfed by the moment.
    Korel Laloix: I would rather live with the emotional memory of a great sunset.
    Eos Amaterasu: (there was one here tonight :-)
    Korel Laloix: I woulr rather march on city hall then form a committee a year after an injustice.
    Catrinamonblue Resident: what about being still with an emotion, looking at it, feeling it, tasting it, slowly letting it penetrate and dissipate through you
    Catrinamonblue Resident: balancing it in body and soul
    Lila Darkmatter: :) penetrating sunsets
    Korel Laloix: There are moments to be savored for sure... but feel them first..... don't let equanimity suppress the moment.
    Catrinamonblue Resident: I don't
    Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
    Korel Laloix: Then you don't do equanimity then.. smiles
    Korel Laloix: Maybe I still don't get the concept.... smiles
    Eos Amaterasu: sitting bull
    Korel Laloix: I think there is a line that I have not figure out yet.
    Lila Darkmatter: :) well it is your word I think, for something very real to you
    Lila Darkmatter: and something that exists... ie not responding
    Lila Darkmatter: can respect that, though not hear the word that way
    Korel Laloix: But then again, I do have a different persepective than most as well.
    Catrinamonblue Resident: unique you are my friend
    Korel Laloix: I have my moments for sure... smiles
    Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
    Lila Darkmatter: :)
    Catrinamonblue Resident: I'm going to head off to bed, busy day tomorrow, work never ends :)
    Lila Darkmatter: and there is something about not feeling when it is time to get off the egg
    Korel Laloix: And I have said before, I do consider myself a victim of equanimity like behaviors.
    Lila Darkmatter: :) night Cat


    --BELL--


    Korel Laloix: Ciao
    Catrinamonblue Resident: night :)
    Eos Amaterasu: ~~
    Korel Laloix: It is a rich enough topic to keep visiting it though.
    Korel Laloix: Not sure I will ever agree with the idea though.. smiles
    Eos Amaterasu: what you're describing sounds a bit like passive aggression
    Lila Darkmatter nods
    Lila Darkmatter: or aggressive neglect
    Korel Laloix: That sounds somewhat close to my impression.
    Lila Darkmatter: without going into details when I was in jr high there were situations that I felt people at school/teachers/etc should have cared about and intervened concerning, but when I grew up I heard stories of interventions that were pretty awful... it is really hard for people to know what to do sometimes
    Korel Laloix: yes, that makes sense.
    Lila Darkmatter: at the time I felt they were happy to gossip but never sort of inquired
    Lila Darkmatter: so I do understand the anger a bit
    Korel Laloix: And action should take resoning first based on all aspects, including empathy and emotion.
    Korel Laloix: Why carve those things out from the process?
    Lila Darkmatter: ah, but I feel that if those adults had been equanimous.. or had developed capacity for wisdom in the sense that I hear the word
    Lila Darkmatter: they would have been responsive
    Lila Darkmatter: some were... in some ways I see now
    Eos Amaterasu: emotion can be very accurate (perhaps that's why we fear it)
    Korel Laloix: Can be very wrong as well.
    Eos Amaterasu: yes
    Korel Laloix: If nothing else this makes me think of how I deal with emotional topics.
    Korel Laloix: I have a bias toward action, and sometimes that turns out wrong.
    Lila Darkmatter: have work to do with emotions as well... maybe showing them more :)
    Korel Laloix: But a lot of people use thoughts like this as an excuse to do nothing.... let me think about this instead of acting.
    Lila Darkmatter: well cat's question was when to be still and when to act.. or maybe how to act without leaving the stillness?
    Eos Amaterasu: you want to stay in touch with your action and its results, all of them
    Korel Laloix: And stay in touch with our emotions.
    stevenaia Michinaga: there are ways to create a direction through inaction
    Lila Darkmatter listens
    stevenaia Michinaga: if the inaction is not the expected result, but a more thoughtful responce
    Korel Laloix: That is true... but in the face of immediate crisis, it can produce in action.
    Korel Laloix: inaction
    stevenaia Michinaga: instead if running out of a falling building , you hold the roof up for others to leave
    Lila Darkmatter: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: thinking hurcules
    Lila Darkmatter: making a gap


    --BELL--

    2013-06-19_Night90.jpg

    Lila Darkmatter have to sleep... eyes are closing and Heat are lagging - hugs and thanks so much.
    Eos Amaterasu: ditto, good night!
    stevenaia Michinaga: night Lila
    stevenaia Michinaga: night Eos
    Lila Darkmatter: night friends, pleasant sleep
    Korel Laloix: Heat?.. basketball?
    Eos Amaterasu: thank you lila and korel and stevenia
    Lila Darkmatter: yes :)
    Korel Laloix: Ciao.
    Korel Laloix: Thanks for the chat.
    stevenaia Michinaga: some sport I;m sure
    Lila Darkmatter: Wade is magic ;-)
    Lila Darkmatter: hehe... night
    Korel Laloix: Ciao ball
    Korel Laloix: alll
    Korel Laloix: Not my thing.
    stevenaia Michinaga: always appriciae yoru perspective Korel
    stevenaia Michinaga: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: night all
    Korel Laloix: Thanks.. smiles.
    Korel Laloix: Sometimes I just don't think I understand what ppeople mean though.
    stevenaia Michinaga: me too, so I listen
    stevenaia Michinaga: may works I never heard until I came here
    Korel Laloix: That is very ture.
    stevenaia Michinaga: so it;s all new sometimes, only to find it;s somethng I knew but never knew what it was called
    Korel Laloix: That has happend before for sure.
    Korel Laloix: Take care... smiles
    stevenaia Michinaga: night

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    Lila Darkmatter: well cat's question was when to be still and when to act.. or maybe how to act without leaving the stillness?

    I think you hit it exactly Lila thank you.
    Posted 13:43, 19 Jun 2013
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