The Guardian for this meeting was Eos Amaterasu. The comments are by Eos Amaterasu.

Korel Laloix: heya
Eos Amaterasu: Hi, Korel

--BELL--

Eos Amaterasu: Shall we daydream?
Korel Laloix: Actually not done a lot of that today... so sure.
Korel Laloix: Was a full and fulfilling day really.
Korel Laloix: So not a lot of time to let my mind wander.
Eos Amaterasu: flow, not wander?
Eos Amaterasu: Korel brimmeth over
Eos Amaterasu: (sp?)
Korel Laloix: More flow than wander.. a lot of connecting the dots.
Eos Amaterasu: sounds good
Korel Laloix: A good brain taxing and building day.
Eos Amaterasu: RL building?
Korel Laloix: Good day in class and work both.
Korel Laloix: yes.
Korel Laloix: How about you?
Korel Laloix: A better dreaming or thinking day?.. or both?
Korel Laloix: Flowing or wandering?
Eos Amaterasu: bumping into rocks, didn't really feel like flow a lot of the time
Eos Amaterasu: but this evening was more relaxed
Eos Amaterasu: with some energy
Eos Amaterasu: recounting the vision or inspiration of some projects
Korel Laloix: I am just setteling down as well... finished some homework and interview studying...
Eos Amaterasu: which I think is a form of day dream-timing
Korel Laloix: Now I just need to let things seep into my brain for long term storage.
Eos Amaterasu: & maybe rooting and branching and exploring
Eos Amaterasu: play inside the brain store
Korel Laloix: yes.. might have a half glass of wine... that seems to help sometimes.. or at least give me the illusion of it... grins
Eos Amaterasu: there's truth in that :-)
Eos Amaterasu: that illusion....
Korel Laloix: I think lying to yourself is a great form of daydreaming.
Eos Amaterasu: :-)
Korel Laloix: if it is not to damanging of a lie that is.
Eos Amaterasu: maybe you stretch the bounds of your "self" ness
Korel Laloix: How do you mean?
Eos Amaterasu: "The Korel Laloix Experience" is a musical and verbal and muscular performance
Eos Amaterasu: a stretchy performance of what it is to be me ness of that label
Korel Laloix: And either a tragic commedy or a horror story... smiles
Korel Laloix: I have ben reading my journals again recently... interesting how I have chnaged in the last 7 years.
Eos Amaterasu listens
Eos Amaterasu: could you tell your 7 years ago self that story?
Korel Laloix: Probably not really.
Eos Amaterasu: hard to actually place yourself "there then"
Korel Laloix: I really don't think I would have liked the now me seven years ago.
Eos Amaterasu: :-)
Eos Amaterasu: and vice versa?
Korel Laloix: Not sure... I tend to get a long with most people even if I annoy them now... smiles
Eos Amaterasu: Do you know where you're going?
Korel Laloix: Not long term no... but I do feel a push to graduate... past that, I think a direction will be presented.

--BELL--

Eos Amaterasu: the play of wishes and desires and memories and regrets and fears is a kind of ongoing dreaming
Eos Amaterasu: some of that stretchiness
Korel Laloix: Dreaming is an odd topic for me...
Korel Laloix: Not sure I have a common expereince or vocabulary with most people.
Eos Amaterasu: I get the feeling, and observe somewhat, that there's a lot of ongoing dreaming going on, during the day, during the night, but we don't necessarily surface it
Korel Laloix: And what is the difference between a fantacy and a daydream?.. the topic?
Eos Amaterasu: like a blood brain barrier: people tune that differently
Eos Amaterasu: good question: fantasy vs daydream
Eos Amaterasu: I tend to think of daydream as getting engrossed inside your fantasy
Eos Amaterasu: its world your world
Eos Amaterasu: for a while
Eos Amaterasu: maybe with different levels of awakeness inside it possible
Eos Amaterasu: what is my waking world, I could ask?
Korel Laloix: I dont know... my sensual fantacies tend to be very shallow in topic, but very vivid in content.
Eos Amaterasu: I keep that together through a kind of narrative of what and who is important
Eos Amaterasu: vivid chocolate sundaes?
Korel Laloix: More like vivid Carla sundaes.... with Rhianna on top... grins
Eos Amaterasu: heh heh
Korel Laloix: Well, bottom... but you know what I mean.
Eos Amaterasu imagines
Eos Amaterasu: or fantasizes
Eos Amaterasu: or dreams
Eos Amaterasu: wonders
Eos Amaterasu: speculates
Eos Amaterasu: what a weird word :-)
Korel Laloix: I think a good amount of people would find that fantacy nice to watch on some level.. grins
Eos Amaterasu: so is this a daydream you're having? :-)
Korel Laloix: Maybe the right words would be... daydreaming a fantasy.
Korel Laloix: or just fantasizing.
Eos Amaterasu: seems to be a special quality of being human
Korel Laloix: Could be... wonder if animals have those thoughts as well.
Eos Amaterasu: and we put that out in various forms, from language to bodily expression to solid artifacts like art
Korel Laloix: But there is one catafory of dreaming we have not talked about maybe.
Eos Amaterasu: and that is?
Korel Laloix: Yes, how dreams are portraied is an interesting topic.
Korel Laloix: How about visions?
Eos Amaterasu: ah!
Eos Amaterasu: yes
Korel Laloix: In my naming journey, I had visions.
Korel Laloix: Are those dreams?
Korel Laloix: Or something else?
Eos Amaterasu: maybe dreaming is one form of visioning
Korel Laloix: Could be.
Korel Laloix: The vividness if very different for sure.
Eos Amaterasu: how would you describe visioning?
Korel Laloix: Not sure the words.
Eos Amaterasu: you spoke of naming
Korel Laloix: it is a very hyper mental state.. or it was for me.

--BELL--

Eos Amaterasu: hyper.... ?
Eos Amaterasu: agitation? energy?
Korel Laloix: Like all portions of my brain, mind and spirit were active at the same time.
Korel Laloix: Both maybe.
Eos Amaterasu: seeing how being sees itself into existence, glimpsing some of that.....?
Korel Laloix: Not sure what you mean.
Korel Laloix: But I was able I think to see some of the things in the world that effect me more than others.
Eos Amaterasu: what was the "visionary" quality of that?
Korel Laloix: And how those effected me over my life.
Eos Amaterasu: ah
Eos Amaterasu: spirit blowing through the Korel experience?
Korel Laloix: or filling me maybe.
Korel Laloix: Or pushing me along.
Eos Amaterasu: yes, you were talking about feeling fulfilled
Eos Amaterasu: nice
Korel Laloix: And drained.
Eos Amaterasu: Hi Raffila
Raffila Millgrove: HI Eos, hello Kori
Eos Amaterasu: hmm, yes, that also seems to happen with visions
Korel Laloix: Osiyo Raffi.. great to see you.
Korel Laloix: But to get to that state, my body and mind were very much worn down.
Korel Laloix: So a lot of barriers had been removed beforhand.
Eos Amaterasu: did you go through a long process of wearing down?
Korel Laloix: yes.. my aunts took me out on a extended hike... a few days.
Korel Laloix: Not comfortable talking about it in this forum though.
Eos Amaterasu: 'tis okay
Eos Amaterasu: we're talking about day dreams, and visions
Eos Amaterasu: and fantasy
Raffila Millgrove nods.
Korel Laloix: But the result was that I was in a very dreaming ready and receptive state at the end.
Korel Laloix: And that experience is still very vivid to me today.
Eos Amaterasu: "dreaming ready and receptive"
Eos Amaterasu: sounds like a good framing for a 90 second span
Korel Laloix: Maybe to really be open to what is down in the lower levels ofy our mind, you have to break down some wall first.
Eos Amaterasu: seems to be true, yes
Eos Amaterasu: part of the heroine's journey
Korel Laloix: It was a very formative time for me for sure.
Raffila Millgrove: how old were you?
Korel Laloix: The was a cople of years ago.
Korel Laloix: My aunts wanted to hold off until they thought I was taking my heritage seriously I think.
Eos Amaterasu: seems like they are wise
Korel Laloix: And I sort of think they want me to take up their place as none of my cousins want to.
Eos Amaterasu: now that's big vision
Korel Laloix: I think they have a lot to offer.. I have a mixed relationship with them in some ways though.

--BELL--

Korel Laloix: I mean, they knew about the stuff my mom did, but did not stop it... So I still have that in the back of my mind.
Raffila Millgrove: maybe Kori... it is getting time.. to ask them.. Why? maybe they have something to say that would be good to hear or some healing to take place?
Korel Laloix: I have thought of that.... but not found the right time or words.
Raffila Millgrove: well it will come, if you want it to...
Raffila Millgrove: when the moment's right.
Korel Laloix: They are down on the list of people to ask why of though.
Korel Laloix: I agree.
Raffila Millgrove: i had an issue with my mom.. it tok me so many years to bring up.
Korel Laloix: And a conversation we had a while back Raffi sort of let me give myself permission to ask why of people I love.
Korel Laloix: not easy feelings to sort out even with permission really.
Raffila Millgrove: in the end.. something happened that made me realize that i could bring it up.. and all she could say was she was sorry.. she hadn't realized at the time.. what was truly happening..
Eos Amaterasu: hmm
Raffila Millgrove: sometimes this old stuff.. it's just "old".
Raffila Millgrove: you know what i mean?
Korel Laloix: Yes.
Eos Amaterasu: but the old stuff can keep living under the verbal
Korel Laloix: And that is sort of my feeling as well.. is this too ancient of history (in Carla years) to fairly bring up?
Raffila Millgrove: we let it hurt us.. because we couldn't let go.. and when we finally muster up courage to talk on it.. i dunno. you don't really get any resolution.. all you do is end up saying.. uh huh.. yes .. i see. when you don't see now, didn't see then.. and all you really see is that you're going to ahve to let it go.
Korel Laloix: True...
Korel Laloix: But there is that silly layer of blaming myself I am finally getting a grip on as well.
Korel Laloix: Sorting out hurt is tricky business.
Eos Amaterasu: that's a hard one
Raffila Millgrove: yes it is.
Korel Laloix: I do want to spend some more timewith them soon.
Korel Laloix: Take some more hikes and learn the plants and things.
Eos Amaterasu: yes, do do.... :-)
Raffila Millgrove: yes!
Korel Laloix: They want me to finish my degrees first though.
Raffila Millgrove: valuable learning they have to offer to you.
Korel Laloix: And those would be the times to bring it up.. if even then.
Raffila Millgrove nods again.
Eos Amaterasu: important topic, so will come up at the right time
Korel Laloix: The idea of becoming a mediine woman does have it's appeal, but most of that i reall knowing how to deal with people, and that sort of knowledge is gained via other experiences.
Korel Laloix: And it is more of a calling, and I am not feeling that, but... I feel open to options.
Raffila Millgrove: well the learning.. you can always use it later if you chose.
Korel Laloix: Just in this day and age, the idea is a bit.. out there for most.
Eos Amaterasu: "knowing how to deal with people" seems like the essence of wisdom
Raffila Millgrove: speaking only for me. i'd take it while it could be.. taken.. and see later if i want to use it.
Raffila Millgrove: to have two elders willing to share with you.. would that come along again. your own blood.
Korel Laloix: Yes.. I do intend to spend a lot of time out with them after Christmas... no more formal school.. yea... smiles
Raffila Millgrove: yes! great.
Korel Laloix: And an interesting thing, for this job that I am interviewing for, I am having to learn all sorts of things about plants that I did not know before.
Raffila Millgrove: i was watching a PBS documentary about... a history project with a group of people who came together to re-create being colonists around 1628ish.
Korel Laloix: So my background knowdledge i already growing.
Raffila Millgrove: and when the native people.. got into the picture towards the end.. when they came and talked to the colonists.. wow some people had some big sudden revelations.. that shock in recognizing that it was their.. own behavior... they could understand how the colonists ... behaved.. and why.. and it really shocked to the core... that they might have been that person... long ago.
Korel Laloix: I find the whole prosepct interesting in a number of levels.
Raffila Millgrove: oh you would use your knowledge in a job?
Eos Amaterasu: great to have your quest intersecting with playing as being
Raffila Millgrove: wow that would be.. very interesting.

--BELL--

Eos Amaterasu: thanks, Korel and Raffi, good night!
Raffila Millgrove: thank you for hosting Eos. ty for sharing with us Kori/
Korel Laloix: Take care... smiles
Raffila Millgrove: very keen to find out how this will turn out for you1
Korel Laloix: So am I.
Raffila Millgrove: how do I say bye to you in your language?
Korel Laloix: do na da go hv i
Korel Laloix: Until we meet again.
Raffila Millgrove: do na da go hv i
Korel Laloix smiles
Korel Laloix: Great to see you again.
Raffila Millgrove: you too.
Raffila Millgrove: bye now.