2008.11.27 19:00 - Very Unencumbered

Sylectra was the guardian that night, but was not able to come. So I, Pema, put up the chat log and added a title.

Pema Pera: Hi Adelene!
Pema Pera: quiet evening, hey?
Pema Pera: Adelene?
Pema Pera: Adelene?
Pema Pera: Hi Hana!
Hana Hendrassen: hallo!
Pema Pera: Adelene is here too
Pema Pera: but she seems to be asleep
Hana Hendrassen: ah
Pema Pera: hasn't said anything in the last 20 minutes or so
Pema Pera: :-)
Hana Hendrassen pets sleepy Adelene
Pema Pera: when we hear her purring, she may be waking up -- or dreaming perhaps :-)
Hana Hendrassen: heehee
Pema Pera: did you get a chance to look at our web site?
Hana Hendrassen: whoa, there she goes
Adelene Dawner: ^.^
Pema Pera: http://playasbeing.wik.is/
Hana Hendrassen: wb Adelene!
Hana Hendrassen: ty Pema
Pema Pera: oh hi Adelene!
Hana Hendrassen: I've looked over it before ^_^
Pema Pera: I thought you might be hibernating
Pema Pera: did you get a chance to try out the 9-sec explorations yourself perhaps?
Hana Hendrassen: erm... no
Adelene Dawner grumbles at the mysteriously un-working alarm script. "I was having a nap - it was supposet to make noise at me when anyone came."
Pema Pera: it's very simple, just stop for a few seconds, 9 or so . . . .
Hana Hendrassen: I am not sure how the 9-sec thing works
Pema Pera: take a few good breaths
Hana Hendrassen: oh *listens*
Pema Pera: the idea is that a few times an hour
Pema Pera: you stop what you are doing
Pema Pera: say you are working at a computer
Pema Pera: and a few times an hour you look up from the screen, stretch a bit, take a deep breath, and then continue
Pema Pera: very very simple
Hana Hendrassen: yeah
Pema Pera: but it seems if you do that a few times an hour
Pema Pera: for a few hours a day
Pema Pera: over time it makes a big difference
Hana Hendrassen: hmm
Pema Pera: the best thing is just to try for a few days, and see whether you like it
Pema Pera: say ten times a day, during a few-hour period
Hana Hendrassen: sure
Pema Pera: HI Adelene, I thought your trigger was malfunctioning :-)
Pema Pera: I was transparent, right, for your alarm?
Adelene Dawner: It seems to not be working at all. :(
Pema Pera: :(
Pema Pera: So, Hana, that was the simplest version
Hana Hendrassen nods
Pema Pera: but there is a more interesting version of the 9-sec exploration
Pema Pera: which is even more fun
Pema Pera: instead of *stopping* what you are doing, you just continue
Pema Pera: but you *stop* being all caught up in it
Pema Pera: and that, too, makes a big difference
Pema Pera: Let me give an example
Pema Pera: if you're talking with someone in RL
Hana Hendrassen listens...
Pema Pera: it would be rather strange if you would suddenly stop and give no response for 9 seconds, or not look at the other person, etc
Hana Hendrassen: ah true
Pema Pera: but what you can do, is to watch the dialogue, as if from a slight distance, for 9 seconds
Pema Pera: disentangle yourself from the situation at hand
Pema Pera: see yourself as a player in the game
Pema Pera: and become the audience for 9 seconds
Pema Pera: while you keep talking
Pema Pera: -- at first not so easy
Hana Hendrassen: hm
Pema Pera: -- but not that hard either
Pema Pera: does that make any sense?
Pema Pera: HI Threedee!
Hana Hendrassen: so just to basically look upon what's happening from the perspective of an outside observer..?
Pema Pera: for example
Threedee Shepherd: hi folks
Pema Pera: or it could be an inside observer, so to speak
Hana Hendrassen: Hi Threedee :)
Pema Pera: a bit detached
Pema Pera: not being pulled along completely by the flow of the activity at hand
Pema Pera: Good seeing you again, 3D !
Pema Pera: we're talking about two ways of doing the 9-sec
Threedee Shepherd: gobble gobble
Pema Pera: hehe
Pema Pera: always nice to meet a lion AFTER a meal
Hana Hendrassen: oh yes
Threedee Shepherd: heheh
Adelene Dawner chuckles
Threedee Shepherd: family all just went home
Pema Pera: was it a fun evening?
Threedee Shepherd: yes. My 5 year old granddaughter NEVER stops playing at being :>
Hana Hendrassen giggles
Pema Pera: hehehe
Pema Pera remember being playful at age 5
Pema Pera: Hi Steve!
Hana Hendrassen: Hi Steve :)
stevenaia Michinaga: hello
stevenaia Michinaga: hi Tree and Ade and pema
Threedee Shepherd: It really is just playing being at her age, very unencumbered.
Adelene Dawner: 'lo Steve :)
Threedee Shepherd: hi Steve
Pema Pera: that's the wonderful part of being a child
Pema Pera: or being child-like :-)
Pema Pera: a fun challenge
Threedee Shepherd: And, as she grows (actually 5.5 years, I can see judgement and guile creeping in along with knowledge
Hana Hendrassen: I have a lot of admiration for people who don't lose their sense of fun as they age :)
Pema Pera: a challenge of balance though . . .
Pema Pera: .. . . and yes, the guilt
stevenaia Michinaga: guilt of Play?
Pema Pera: pity that children have to become tainted before they can try to regain their purity . . . .
Hana Hendrassen: how so?
Pema Pera: they have to learn to separate mine and dine, and to withdraw into their own ego fortification . . . .
Pema Pera: was that what you were referring to, Three?
stevenaia Michinaga: it;s the parts of play you don;t loose that can bring you great joy
Threedee Shepherd: somewhat. along with mine and yours, which was simply a possetional thing up to now has been added "mine is better"
Pema Pera: yes
Threedee Shepherd: *possetional
Hana Hendrassen: hmm
Pema Pera: it seems from age 0 to 20 you are learning to separate, and hopefully during the rest of your life to integrate again -- very roughly speaking :)
Pema Pera: both moves seem necessary . . . I think . . . what do y'all think?
stevenaia Michinaga: separate what and integrate what, first?
Pema Pera: separate oneself as subject in a big vast and rather lonely world
Pema Pera: and then integrate oneself again, seeing oneself in a very different light
stevenaia Michinaga: awww yes, how does play relate?, something lost and then -integrated?
stevenaia Michinaga: re-intrgrated?
Pema Pera: play may bridge both moves, it seems
Threedee Shepherd: It is interesting that to some degree that is cultural. I am thinking of the primacy of the group in Japan and in Native American cultures
Pema Pera: yes, but the self-isolation is present in Japanese groups too
Pema Pera: the sense of shame of not playing your role correctly in a group, for example
Hana Hendrassen: hmm yes
Pema Pera: (not guilt there :-)
Pema Pera: (that's more a Western hangup)
Threedee Shepherd: mmhmm, sneaks in one way or another.
Pema Pera: but I think in every culture, to learn to function properly, you need to develop a reasonably strong sense of self first
Pema Pera: and then the next challenge is to let go of the self . . . . .
Pema Pera: recurring theme in most traditions
stevenaia Michinaga: interesting, before you can let go, you must have soemthing to let go of
Pema Pera: yes, it seems that way
Hana Hendrassen: I don't think I understand... why one would benefit to let go of one's individual self?
Threedee Shepherd: I think there are biological imperative we should not forget that got built into the circuitry via natural selection.
Hana Hendrassen: (maybe this is my individualist culture immersion speaking :P )
Pema Pera: perhaps better to say: to wear one's sense of self lightly, like clothes more than like skin - not identifying totally with one's accidental situation and personality
Hana Hendrassen: ah ok
Hana Hendrassen: but rather to make out of it what you want and what benefits the people around you?
Pema Pera: when a top musician plays, the instrument plays, so to speak . . . . with very little distance or separation between player as self and instrument as object
Pema Pera: yes, Threedee, we start with where and how we find ourselves
Pema Pera: but then we can learn to be more efficient by "not-doing"
Pema Pera: more precisely "doing by not doing"
Pema Pera: wu-wei, or wei-wu-wei in Chinese
Pema Pera: mu-i in Japanese
Pema Pera: principle of least action, you could say
Pema Pera: not wasting energy in friction or manipulation or keeping distance
stevenaia Michinaga: a very comfortable thing, I ahve found, and very effective at times
Pema Pera: same here :)
Pema Pera: does that ring a bell, somehow, Hana?
Pema Pera: not-doing is a big topic . . . .
Hana Hendrassen: erm maybe...
Pema Pera: music is one example, dancing another -- and of course, your minarai training too!
Pema Pera: to sense the flow of the conversation, and to dance and flow with it
Pema Pera: naturally
Hana Hendrassen: ah
Pema Pera: without constructing, manipulating, projecting, analyzing
Pema Pera: but just directly flowing
Hana Hendrassen: so much like the style of odori... restrained and yet effective?
Pema Pera: letting your body and mind as one go with what is happening
Pema Pera: yes, very much so!
Pema Pera: effective is the key
Pema Pera: not wasting any energy in self-centered worries
Pema Pera: letting it all flow self-lessly, yet effectively
Pema Pera: "restrained" from the point of view of self-centered thinking
Pema Pera: "unrestrained" from the point of view of what is really natural!
Hana Hendrassen: ok
Hana Hendrassen: I am starting to get it now I think :)
Pema Pera: it's a life long challenge, wu-wei, not-doing . . . you get better and better at it!
stevenaia Michinaga: sometimes it is easier observed by it;s opposite and see the results, ineffective efforts can be very draininging and unproductive.. (for men) the pissing up a rope metaphor
Pema Pera: yes!!
Hana Hendrassen: yeah
Pema Pera: pissing in the wind :-)
Pema Pera: sorry about the male examples . . .
Hana Hendrassen: oh no worries
Adelene Dawner chuckles.
Pema Pera blushes
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, she wasn;t supposed to get that
Hana Hendrassen chuckles
Pema Pera: hahaha
Pema Pera: well, perhaps this is a good point to say goodbye :)
Pema Pera: time to get some sleep
Pema Pera: great talking with all of you!
stevenaia Michinaga: night Pema
Adelene Dawner: ^.^
Hana Hendrassen: have a good night!
Threedee Shepherd: :0
stevenaia Michinaga: nice meeting you Hana
Hana Hendrassen: Nice to meet you too Steve :)
Pema Pera: night everybody, and good seeing you again Hana!