2008.10.13 01:00 - Hope I’m helping…

Gaya was the guardian on call for this session. Please add comments if willing.

You: _/!\_
Faenik loves wells!
Claire Beltran: Hello...
Gaya Ethaniel: Nice to see you Claire
Claire Beltran: Thank you...
Claire Beltran: What is going on with you today?
Claire Beltran: Or tonight, rather...
Gaya Ethaniel: Oh I got up late and arrived here just now (my session this one) yourself?
Gaya Ethaniel goes get some water from kitchen
Claire Beltran: I've been concerned about sleeping lately...
Gaya Ethaniel: concerned? trouble sleeping Claire?
Claire Beltran: Yes. A lot.
Claire Beltran: I can never get to bed... it's 4:30am here.
Gaya Ethaniel sighs
Gaya Ethaniel: I used to suffer a lot from insomnia also.
Claire Beltran: And then I need an appalling amount of sleep... I think I slept for around nine or ten hours last morning/afternoon.
Claire Beltran: And I don't know what to do about it because nothing so far has really helped...
Gaya Ethaniel: Wonder if worrying about it helps Claire
Gaya Ethaniel: (Though it's not always possible to do this)
Claire Beltran: I do worry about it, all the time.
Gaya Ethaniel: I can understand that...
Faenik: could be
Gaya Ethaniel: though 9 - 10 hr sleep doesn't sound like an 'appalling' amount to me
Claire Beltran: It doesn't???
Gaya Ethaniel: am I right in thinking that you are concerned not having a sleep routine then?
Claire Beltran: I thought the usual number was about seven hours.
Gaya Ethaniel: no, some people need 9-10 hr sleep each day
Claire Beltran: Yes.
Claire Beltran: I am.
Gaya Ethaniel: everyone's different
Gaya Ethaniel: have you always had same sleeping pattern? or this irregularity occurred recently? I'm only asking because everyone goes through sleep problems at times
Claire Beltran: It was a recent creep... For some reason, I started staying up late not too long ago. And then it became later... and later...
Faenik: なるほど^^
Claire Beltran: It switched back to a more normal routine after I had had an operation and was on painkillers to sleep... but after I got off them it was back to the way I am now.
Gaya Ethaniel: a lot on your mind while awake?
Claire Beltran: Yes... so much that I can't really do much of anything during the day, either...
Gaya Ethaniel: and do you try to stop these thoughts/emotions in order to rest?

---

Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
Gaya Ethaniel: How are you? (talking about sleep here Corvi)
Gaya Ethaniel: mm... you are up late again too Corvi
Corvuscorva Nightfire: early
Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles.
Gaya Ethaniel: ah early... <smile>
Corvuscorva Nightfire: I went to sleep very early, too..so hours already
Claire Beltran: Stop these thoughts, you ask?
Gaya Ethaniel: yes
Claire Beltran: I don't really know how to.
Gaya Ethaniel: my question was whether you try to stop... push them away. my experience is that this doesn't work...
Faenik: indeed?
Claire Beltran: I don't. I haven't the faintest idea how to begin.
Gaya Ethaniel: for me, when I began looking at them I started to feel better. in order to recognise what the thoughts/emotions were (they were all a bit jumbles and so many at times), had to learn to relax first
Faenik loves wells!
Gaya Ethaniel: 9 sec is a great starting point imo
Gaya Ethaniel: though you may find other methods also helpful that is particularly suited to you
Claire Beltran: Yes, I have trouble working with that, too...
Gaya Ethaniel: please say more?
Faenik: why not?
Gaya Ethaniel: do you want to try now Claire?
Claire Beltran: Yes, please.
Claire Beltran: What do I do, exactly? Just for future reference.
Gaya Ethaniel: ok let's sit still and take a deep breath. and observe/watch

---

Gaya Ethaniel: did you feel/see anything Claire?
Claire Beltran: Just our surroundings here in SL... though I'm not certain of the difference it made.
Claire Beltran: It may have helped, just a little bit.
Gaya Ethaniel: anything else than SL? say your heartbeat?
Faenik: なるほど^^
Claire Beltran: No... it's a bit complicated to explain what I do.
Claire Beltran: I form a mental picture of my surroundings, expanding in a kind of 360-degree bubble outside. But I'm not sure it helps... and I'm beginning to get the impression that that's a bad idea.
Gaya Ethaniel: how do you 'form' this picture? you mean you 'imagine' it?
Gaya Ethaniel: no good or bad... it just is Claire
Faenik: ah :)
Claire Beltran: Yes. It's like an image.
Claire Beltran: But then I recall how unhappy I am in my neighborhood, and in the city...
Faenik is a hairy black ball with eyes and ears.
Gaya Ethaniel: you are aware of 'forming' this image. that self-awareness is helpful imo
Gaya Ethaniel: are you unhappy to have this image forming in your mind?
Claire Beltran: Yes. The picture of my immediate world in my mind is not a happy one, because I have had ample time to form negative associations.
Gaya Ethaniel: the negative associations I suppose are based on the past events?
Gaya Ethaniel: (before each 9 sec that is)
Claire Beltran: Yes, they are. I did not have a happy life growing up where I live, and I have come to associate the area northward of where I live with destitution and decay.
Gaya Ethaniel: would it be at all possible to look at that image as if looking at a painting in a museum? (not putting your current self in it)
Corvuscorva Nightfire laughs..having fallen securely to sleep for a while
Faenik: could be
Gaya Ethaniel: it tells us a story that we understand... we watch the film without associating/defining our present... characters in the film are not us now
Gaya Ethaniel smiles
Gaya Ethaniel: can you try that with the image Claire?
Claire Beltran: Hmm... I don't know. It's very hard to think of these things without having to keep the feelings in check, too... So I have to examine those... and then it gets complicated, with two layers of imagery like that.
Gaya Ethaniel: work starts early today Corvi?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: no...I have the day off...
Gaya Ethaniel: well stopping after 9 sec is good in that sense Claire. you can come back to it again later and 'see' again
Gaya Ethaniel: cool, back to bed then Corvi?
Faenik: ah :)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: in a bit.
Gaya Ethaniel smiles. ok
Gaya Ethaniel: see the image and watch what it is you feel for 9 sec then stop. no need to push/force Claire for more
Claire Beltran: Hmm... it works with pictures alone... but if I try to add sound, it falls apart.
Claire Beltran: The pain returns.
Gaya Ethaniel: yes one thing at a time, be kind to yourself...
Gaya Ethaniel: well I don't get the impression you're having problems with doing 9 sec by listening to you so far
Claire Beltran: Really?
Gaya Ethaniel: unless... you are worried about 'trying to get it right' perhaps?
Gaya Ethaniel nods
Faenik: なるほど^^
Gaya Ethaniel: It helped me a lot to see when I use the word 'should' Claire
Gaya Ethaniel: I 'should' be doing this
Gaya Ethaniel: I 'should' be thinking this
Gaya Ethaniel: I 'shouldn't' have done/said that
Claire Beltran: Yes...
Gaya Ethaniel: lots of worries from there really
Claire Beltran: I think like that all the time.
Gaya Ethaniel: a friend told me to replace 'should' with 'will'
Gaya Ethaniel: I will do this
Gaya Ethaniel: I won't say that
Gaya Ethaniel: with the past, one has to accept there is nothing one can do about... but one can change how we react to the stories remembered
Gaya Ethaniel: I don't trust my memories fully
Claire Beltran: Neither do I, actually.
Claire Beltran: Much of my past is fuzzy and unreadable.
Gaya Ethaniel: so... going back to the image, it tells you stories that may not be 100% accurate. what is useful imo is to watch how you react to it?
Claire Beltran: All right... sounds good
Gaya Ethaniel: have you consider writing it down? I find writing a good way of reflecting... like oh I saw this and felt that in today's 9 sec hm... interesting. no more no less... just for yourself
Faenik: ah :)
Claire Beltran: Pema has asked me to take down a project for him... I actually imagine that this log will be useful in that regard.
Gaya Ethaniel: take down a project?
Claire Beltran: To see how the nine-second exercise affects me and my thinking.
Gaya Ethaniel smiles. sounds fun
Gaya Ethaniel: how are you feeling now Claire? still worries bubbling up while we've been chatting here?
Claire Beltran: They've subsided to a dull roar.
Claire Beltran: ;)
Gaya Ethaniel smiles
Gaya Ethaniel: when they emerge again... (this may sound weird) welcome them
Faenik: ah :)
Gaya Ethaniel: some of my troubling emotions, I treat them like old friends
Faenik: could be
Claire Beltran: Yes, I've heard about that... but I have yet to learn to do it properly, I think.
Claire Beltran: At any rate... I think I should log off.
Gaya Ethaniel smiles
Gaya Ethaniel: Hope you enjoy your rest Claire and see you soon again
Claire Beltran: Good night to you both, and have a pleasant tomorrow.
Claire Beltran: *hugs*
Gaya Ethaniel hugs back
Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
Corvuscorva Nightfire: hugs, Claire

---

Gaya Ethaniel: _/!\_
Corvuscorva Nightfire nods
corry Scarmon: hi
Corvuscorva Nightfire: Hello
Gaya Ethaniel: Hello corry
Faenik: indeed?
corry Scarmon: whats up?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: nutthin much..what's up with you?
corry Scarmon: it is really nice place
Corvuscorva Nightfire grins
Gaya Ethaniel smiles. ty
Gaya Ethaniel: have you been here before corry? just to see if you need any intro to our group here
corry Scarmon: no
Gaya Ethaniel: oh let me give you a notecard. it's an open discussion group so you're welcome here
corry Scarmon: ok
corry Scarmon: thankx
Gaya Ethaniel: we record our discussion on a blog so we'd need to ask if you're ok with us recording your name and what you say
Gaya Ethaniel: Pleasure
corry Scarmon: ok no problem
Gaya Ethaniel: thank you
Faenik loves wells!
Gaya Ethaniel: so how are you finding SL corry? you are pretty new your profile says
corry Scarmon: yeah just arrived yesterday
Gaya Ethaniel smiles. seen much yet?
corry Scarmon: not really
Gaya Ethaniel: how did you find us?
corry Scarmon: i choosed this place randomally
Gaya Ethaniel: ah...
Gaya Ethaniel: that's a great way of exploring yes
Gaya Ethaniel: so what do you make of our group? any questions on the notecard?
corry Scarmon: i'll have to read it first
Gaya Ethaniel smiles. Sure

We stayed on a little longer discussing SL in general.