2011.09.17 07:00 - In absentia vana meminit animus

The Guardian for this meeting was Archmage Atlantis. The comments are by Archmage Atlantis.

iwandertoo Resident: hi dash
Dash Earthboy: hey susan
iwandertoo Resident: how have you been?
Dash Earthboy: sry was talking w/my roomies
iwandertoo Resident: no worries
Dash Earthboy: been working like a dog
iwandertoo Resident: enjoying it?
--BELL--
Dash Earthboy: 8:30 AM to 9 PM 40 miles from here
Dash Earthboy: nope
iwandertoo Resident: ah
Dash Earthboy: hours were supposed to be noon to 8 PM 16 miles from here
Dash Earthboy: i'm looking for something else but the boss is doing this to all his staff to try to prevent them from looking elsewhere
Dash Earthboy: so far he's lost 3 of the 10 of us
iwandertoo Resident: life is
Dash Earthboy: yep
iwandertoo Resident: make the best of what one has
iwandertoo Resident: and move forward from where one is
iwandertoo Resident: ...how i think about things
iwandertoo Resident: and it seems to work
Dash Earthboy: yep,
Dash Earthboy: but it's like the lottery
iwandertoo Resident: how so?
Dash Earthboy: some people think they're making decisions that lead them to rewards in life
Dash Earthboy: but others who make the same decisions don't get the rewards
iwandertoo Resident: they are doing the best with what they have at that time perhaps
iwandertoo Resident: i have deconstructed that about myself...and found the reasons in such instances
Dash Earthboy: who's to say what is "best" tho, right?
iwandertoo Resident: you are the one to say what is best for you, dash
iwandertoo Resident: and your friends will poke and prod and question when they sense that maybe you're not quite having it right in your head (if they are friends they will)
iwandertoo Resident: (again, speaking for me)
Dash Earthboy: i only carry the philosophy to "most likely under the circumstances" rather than"best"
Dash Earthboy: friends are all saying i should just leave the job -- even without another lined up if I can afford to
Dash Earthboy: mostly because the job is costing me in expenses more than I'm making in income from it so far
iwandertoo Resident: in how you think about things, can you find some value in staying with this until you have something else?
iwandertoo Resident: ah...
iwandertoo Resident: well that makes sense then, yes
Dash Earthboy: yah
Dash Earthboy: and i'm paid up in this share through the end of the month
Dash Earthboy: they're good roomies to be with no matter what anyway
iwandertoo Resident: i'm glad you found them
Dash Earthboy: me too
Dash Earthboy: :)
iwandertoo Resident: smiling
Dash Earthboy: one of those steps in the right direction :)
iwandertoo Resident: /x/ly
iwandertoo Resident: (absolutely)
Dash Earthboy: had a tire blow out on me in the rain Wed night as I started heading home
Dash Earthboy: front passenger side tire
iwandertoo Resident: how did you handle it?
Dash Earthboy: only doing 30 mph in the town we're working so i was able to steer to side without harm
iwandertoo Resident: a moment of pause...
Dash Earthboy: had it happened in the 65 mph zones between here and there I probably wouldn't be here
iwandertoo Resident: i find those moments incredibly fueling after-the-fact
iwandertoo Resident: yes, possible...glad you're here , dasg
Dash Earthboy: couldn't get tire fixed by anyone that night
iwandertoo Resident: *dash (sorry cat walked on keyboard)
Dash Earthboy: insurance company was unable to provide me with roadside assistance for over 2 hours in that town
iwandertoo Resident: what did you do with the time?
Dash Earthboy: with help from police too who wanted me off the roadside
Dash Earthboy: then it was a tow to sheltered area where I could unload stuff from trunk and get to spare donut
Dash Earthboy: that little tow and tire chance cost almost $150
iwandertoo Resident: when i see the debris on the highway or a car in lot at a shop...the splintering of rubber - have you looked at it? closely looked at it?
iwandertoo Resident: tows are a lot of money
iwandertoo Resident: unfortunately
Dash Earthboy: the tow was less than a mile
--BELL--
iwandertoo Resident: i was driving a friend to school far from where i lived in a rental van. the van ended up dying in the "mountains" on the way back. i spent hours out there...and then the tow back to ny...a lot of time sitting, waiting, and i realized how little i knew of cars (being "stuck" was familiar...)
Dash Earthboy: back
Dash Earthboy: heheh
iwandertoo Resident: wb
Dash Earthboy: yah, i've know many who know little of cars or computers
Dash Earthboy: and don't know they have computers in their cars :)
iwandertoo Resident: dont realize it...
iwandertoo Resident: yes
Dash Earthboy: i compare that to how many go through life
Dash Earthboy: not aware of the components that make up some of their life
iwandertoo Resident: i saw a man the other day as i was walking to work. he asked me for a "light", then asked for a "lighter". he looked very ill. older - but not old enough to think this is someone who is old and will die soon. his face a bit emaciated, discolored.
Dash Earthboy: yah
Dash Earthboy: homeless, probably?
iwandertoo Resident: the next day, i saw another person. similar spot. he looked up. older, but not old enough to be dying. he was very thin. very.
iwandertoo Resident: they're not homeless...they're dying
iwandertoo Resident: i think it is a hospice of some kind
Dash Earthboy: i've seen them scrounge tobacco from discarded cigarette butts and make a kind of cigarette out of it
Dash Earthboy: then ask for a lighter
iwandertoo Resident: i'm carrying their faces with me...replaying it.
Dash Earthboy: oh, sry about that
iwandertoo Resident: yes...the second day, this individual was doing this
iwandertoo Resident: no...i dont mean it this way, dash.
Dash Earthboy: i'm glad you recognized so much about them
iwandertoo Resident: i am glad i notice such things, and digest them, and carry them
iwandertoo Resident: nods...soft laughter...we're in sync
iwandertoo Resident: ((d))
iwandertoo Resident: twin powers activate!
Dash Earthboy: :)
iwandertoo Resident: i will continue to see others...and wonder
iwandertoo Resident: i did this project in secondary school
iwandertoo Resident: a term paper
iwandertoo Resident: i chose the greatest generation...wasnt called it then...but with brokaw's book...it is
iwandertoo Resident: all of these people...they missed their children
iwandertoo Resident: they didnt care that they were old, life was good and bad, they just wondered where their children were
iwandertoo Resident: and grandchildren
Dash Earthboy: yes
Dash Earthboy: and many missed their children as the kids grew up
iwandertoo Resident: the most striking thing is - this was new to them. they had grown-up around elders...and yet their children were not doing the same
Dash Earthboy: ala "Cats in the Cradle"
iwandertoo Resident: yes, imagine so
iwandertoo Resident: i remember visiting my grandmother daily one summer
Dash Earthboy: and that is what my boss is trying to do to us (his staff)
iwandertoo Resident: this was unheard of...except for the one husband who visited his wife recovering from a stroke
iwandertoo Resident: in the eyes of others...there is so much to see, dash
Dash Earthboy: yep
Dash Earthboy: i've been there
iwandertoo Resident: are you there on a daily basis?
Dash Earthboy: was very active with my ancestors
iwandertoo Resident: do your eyes listen?
Dash Earthboy: and away from them in college I was a "Meals on Wheels" companion volunteer
Dash Earthboy: i am aware with vision, sound, and all the other senses including intuition :)
iwandertoo Resident: a good program
Dash Earthboy: I have good instincts :)
iwandertoo Resident: i have good instincts yet rarely act on them
Dash Earthboy: i have good instincts and bad luck :\
iwandertoo Resident: i have always been very lucky...even when unlucky :)
iwandertoo Resident: i'm sorry about the bad luck for you
Dash Earthboy: for instance, I was handling a snowy/icy road just fine and got rear-ended by a girl from Texas who didn't know how to handle the situation
--BELL--
Dash Earthboy: being kind to her, I didn't report it as she was a friend of my g/f and promised to pay for damages
Dash Earthboy: when I sent the bill, her doctor father responded "GFYS"
iwandertoo Resident: how long ago did this happen?
Dash Earthboy: many years back
iwandertoo Resident: why is it still with you (if this is okay to ask)?
Dash Earthboy: there it is: why am I hanging onto it as if I choose to burden myself...sheesh
Dash Earthboy: gimme a break
iwandertoo Resident: no..i mean
iwandertoo Resident: dash...
iwandertoo Resident: i mean, there is a reason it's with you -
iwandertoo Resident: some quality of the experience has stayed
Dash Earthboy: i'm reminded of something that is appropos to the discussion
Dash Earthboy: and because i have a memory stimulated, suddenly I'm clinging to it?
Dash Earthboy: get real
iwandertoo Resident: (please dont put words in my mouth)
iwandertoo Resident: i didnt say either of those things
Dash Earthboy: it's "with me" because it's a part of my life
Dash Earthboy: same as any other scar or reward
iwandertoo Resident: i'm not explaining/asking in a way that i am being heard
iwandertoo Resident: sorry
Dash Earthboy: ok...let me try again, what do you mean "why is it still with" me?
iwandertoo Resident: i carry these things with me that press through...and i try to identify what attribute - what quality of the experience remains pressing
iwandertoo Resident: in some way it must help me process or understand
iwandertoo Resident: not clinging...
iwandertoo Resident: not exactly certain - perhaps these boundaries of experience or the pattern in them
Dash Earthboy: i'm a simple man
Dash Earthboy: to me it's a memory...it's history...i learn from history in hopes of not repeating damage to myself or others
iwandertoo Resident: nods
iwandertoo Resident: ty
Dash Earthboy: but i DON'T forget history intentionally the way so many mean "put it behind you"
iwandertoo Resident: i didnt mean this
Dash Earthboy: not necessarily you, but many i've met
iwandertoo Resident: this isnt my way. i believe it is best for me to integrate all of it...not compartmentalize it.
Dash Earthboy: good
iwandertoo Resident: yes, i agree. for each they have their own way of coping
Dash Earthboy: we're in sync that way too :)
iwandertoo Resident: :)
Dash Earthboy: i am required to go into work today and wish I could stay for more discussion
iwandertoo Resident: i do compartmentalize...but very aware, very very very aware
iwandertoo Resident: is what it is
Dash Earthboy: but my current choice is fairly clear
iwandertoo Resident: my survival mechanism from way back when. always hope.
iwandertoo Resident: pain doesnt matter.
iwandertoo Resident: (it does of course)
iwandertoo Resident: hi Arch
Dash Earthboy: so (hey Arch) I must get offline and head off to work (my roomies have off Thu & Fri so they're heading out the door too)
iwandertoo Resident: thanks for this, Dash
Dash Earthboy: sry i can't stay Arch
Dash Earthboy: yw susan
Dash Earthboy: i am glad we had this talk too :)
iwandertoo Resident: :)
Dash Earthboy: pax et bonum y'all
Archmage Atlantis: HeloSusan...anI coted?
iwandertoo Resident: pardon, arch?
Archmage Atlantis: Am I wearing clthing
iwandertoo Resident: yes, you are Arch :)
Archmage Atlantis: I was b4
Archmage Atlantis: the I go here without any
Archmage Atlantis: lo Dash
iwandertoo Resident: yesterday, when i saw what i was wearing when i had the graphical interface - i laughed. half dressed somehow
Archmage Atlantis: understand.....past animals in rl stlll try to attqfk
Archmage Atlantis: espiritss
--BELL--
iwandertoo Resident: arch, i will have to go
iwandertoo Resident: meeting a friend
iwandertoo Resident: that i have not seen in some time
Archmage Atlantis: osoyea
Korel Laloix: Bozho
Korel Laloix: Bozho
Aphrodite Macbain: Bozho Korel
Aphrodite Macbain: Hi Arch
Aphrodite Macbain: Just came by to check the poem!
Korel Laloix: Heya.
--BELL--
Korel Laloix: The poem?
Korel Laloix: Which?
Aphrodite Macbain whispers, the one I'm looking at
Aphrodite Macbain: Please add to it-two lines.
Aphrodite Macbain: you too Arch
Aphrodite Macbain: It wiuld be great if you did
Korel Laloix: Oh that.
Korel Laloix: I think my additons may not be welcomed... lol
Aphrodite Macbain: About peace? why not korel?
Aphrodite Macbain: I would think you have some important things to say about it
Korel Laloix: Well.. I find most people the preach peace are just moreal cowards that are very wiling to let others suffer so they can enjoy their nice stable priviledged way of life.
Korel Laloix: I grew up being abused and peopleknew it..... and did nothing.. becuase they thought it was not their place.
Aphrodite Macbain: hmm so maybe your contribution can be about being courageous
Korel Laloix: OR beating the shit out of my mom was distastefull...so they left it to the hands of an eleven year old girl to save her own life.
Aphrodite Macbain: How awful Korel
Aphrodite Macbain: I'm so sorry
Aphrodite Macbain: Peace in the home is so important
Korel Laloix: People who preach peace are usually sick and selfish... sitting on their high horse so they don't have to inconvenience themselves with acualy having to work for peace.
Aphrodite Macbain: and shapes the children growing in it
Korel Laloix: But.... I do recognize my persepctive might be a bit pessimistic.
Aphrodite Macbain: then maybe you can talk about what is needed for peace to actually work
Aphrodite Macbain: action, integrity, courage...
Aphrodite Macbain: I wont push you - I just want you to know there is space for you there
Korel Laloix: What saved my life was me being violent toward my mother.... talking about peace rarely works.... action is required.... sometimes violent action.
Aphrodite Macbain: See you later
Korel Laloix: Ciao.
--BELL--
stevenaia Michinaga: HI Korel
Korel Laloix: Bozho.
stevenaia Michinaga: :)
Korel Laloix: What you up to?
stevenaia Michinaga: friends just left, and I am listing to an online lecture
stevenaia Michinaga: listening
stevenaia Michinaga: and napping
stevenaia Michinaga: u?
Korel Laloix: Study break.
Korel Laloix: A good chat.
stevenaia Michinaga: nice and quiet here, you can even study here
Korel Laloix: Study break.
stevenaia Michinaga: nods
Korel Laloix: SO not studying now.. smiles
Korel Laloix: Trying to clear my brain.
stevenaia Michinaga: got i
stevenaia Michinaga: i
stevenaia Michinaga: it
Korel Laloix: SL is better than taquilla for mind washing... smiles
stevenaia Michinaga: yes
Korel Laloix: My brain is tired for sure.
stevenaia Michinaga: I usually can nap for 20 minutes whenever I am physically tired, but not sure about mind tired
Korel Laloix: I have pretty bad insomnia, so sleep is very particular for me... as is napping.
Korel Laloix: But that is just me.
Korel Laloix: Back ain a bit.
stevenaia Michinaga: ok

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