2011.05.08 13:00 - Mother's Day and Eurovision

The Guardian for this meeting was Maxine Walden. The comments are by Maxine.

This session begins a bit quietly, several of us appreciating the quiet Sunday afternoon together, then how we each handle pressure, spaciousness, anxiety;  and then it picks up with discussion about Mother's Day, mothering (from different perspectives), and then some review of Eurovision this week in Europe. There is even a Youtube link.

Maxine Walden: hi, Qt
Qt Core: Hi Maxine
Hokon Cazalet: hi guys =)
Maxine Walden: nice to see you
Qt Core: Hi Hokon
Maxine Walden: hi, Hokon
Maxine Walden: nice to see you Hokon
Hokon Cazalet: =)
Maxine Walden: How is the weekend treating each of you?
Hokon Cazalet: my weekend has been good so far, yours?
Qt Core: too much desserts :-) mothers day and a cousin's sn baptism :-)
Hokon Cazalet: hehe
Qt Core: *son
Maxine Walden: good, thanks, Hokon. It is often a time to catch up, which can get too busy sometimes; otherwise just fine.
Hokon Cazalet: yeah we got mother's day at my place and a birthday
Maxine Walden: :)), Qt, yes, nice celebratios
Maxine Walden: celebrations
Maxine Walden: Qt, a young son's baptism?
Qt Core: i'm still amazed that one of my younger and "childish" cousin got married and had a son, really weird :-)
Maxine Walden: :))
Maxine Walden: somehow grew up?
Maxine Walden: more or less?
Qt Core: yes, so it seems
Maxine Walden: :)
Qt Core: but still a fun guy to be around
Hokon Cazalet: =)
Hokon Cazalet: Yaaaaayyyyyyyy!
Maxine Walden: so not too grown up!
Maxine Walden: :)
Qt Core: only drawback.... it is another of the little things that make you feel old ;-)
Hokon Cazalet: hehe aww, yeah
Hokon Cazalet: hiya zon
Maxine Walden: :)) yes, know that too!
Qt Core: Hi Zon
Maxine Walden: hi, Zon
Zon Kwan: hi there
Maxine Walden: Any thoughts, topics, to share? (my goc inner voice)
Maxine Walden: I often think that just sharing in the silence is very nourishing
Hokon Cazalet: me too =)
Maxine Walden: :)
Hokon Cazalet: when i get a 10min break at work, i always go outside for a few minutes and simply gaze upon the world and sky
Maxine Walden: ahh...sounds wonderful
Hokon Cazalet: it really helps me at work, i come back and its like i havent done much work at all
Maxine Walden: so refreshing
Hokon Cazalet: =)
Qt Core: i love the few times of the year i go eat lunch at a park near where i work, silence, sometimes a few kids paying around
Hokon Cazalet: oo thatd be cool
Maxine Walden: smiling as I think of the image, Qt
Hokon Cazalet: maybe iu should do that, we got a park near my workplace
Maxine Walden: agree that getting out at lunchtime would be so good; often I just slog along, almost forgetting about the refreshing outside world
Hokon Cazalet: yup =(
Hokon Cazalet: i have to sit in a small cubicle all day at work
--BELL--
Maxine Walden: hmm, and so easy to get my mind in that inner cubicle as well
Hokon Cazalet: hi wol =)
Qt Core: hi Wol
Maxine Walden: hi, Wol!
Wol Euler: hello everyone
Hokon Cazalet: =)
Maxine Walden: We've been chatting about how refreshing it can be to get out of our heads when we do such interior work...either literally interior or mentally interior
Wol Euler: ah?
Maxine Walden: as in getting out into the refreshing world of the park at lunch
Qt Core: i'ma having a growinf need/wish to go for a walk ad sit on a bench in a park, havre to find a way to do that
Wol Euler smiles.
Qt Core: as usual with standard stressing life time is the thing laking for that
Maxine Walden: indeed, time seems to be the precious commodity we lose touch with when stressed
Wol Euler nods.
Maxine Walden: My own experience, I wonder if when I get pressured whether I then actually seem to compress time, squeeze or distort it
Maxine Walden: and then feel its lack, the lack of time
Wol Euler: it definitely comes from within, I'd agree there
Maxine Walden: :)
Maxine Walden: it may be that our pressured selves create a reality seemingly defined by pressure, closed in spaces...
Maxine Walden: and we may feel trapped there til we or others can help us see the wider reality, like lunch in the park, or a relaxing chat with friends
Wol Euler nods.
Maxine Walden: like PaB chats maybe
Wol Euler: hello darren
Maxine Walden: hi, Darren
Hokon Cazalet: hi darren
Darren Islar: hi everyone :)
Qt Core: hi Darren
Darren Islar: I see there is a lively topic tonight :)
Maxine Walden: We've been musing about how pressured we can become and how to keep ourselves more spacious...been rather low kep so far :)
Maxine Walden: low key
Darren Islar: I see, thanks Maxine
Maxine Walden: :)
Wol Euler: it can be as simple as saying "that isn't so" when the feeling arises, but one often doesn't have that clarity
Maxine Walden: yes, care to say more, Wol?
Wol Euler: well, it sometimes works, just that simply :)
Wol Euler: to say "this pressure is imaginary, I don'T have to feel it"
Wol Euler: but that requires a lot of mental space, which under presssure might not be there
Wol Euler: it's easier when there aren't other people colluding in the pressure, leaning on you to hurry up :)
--BELL--
Maxine Walden: (sometimes I think my goc 'duties' can make me feel pressured which is really all in my head) So here, I say 'it isn't so'
Maxine Walden: :)
Wol Euler: :)
Qt Core: and you should even be aware abou not getting under pressure not to feel pressure, than it would be recursive ;-
Wol Euler: oh yes :)
Maxine Walden: :))
Hokon Cazalet: hehe i get that a lot, recursive anxiety
Maxine Walden: all the 'shoulds' around
Darren Islar: I seem to try to take the other way around
Maxine Walden: how is that, Darren?
Darren Islar: I want to feel the pressure, but then put into space
Darren Islar: so you can really feel it and even look at it
Darren Islar: seeing it change into something different
Maxine Walden: ah, head straight for it and then let it go?
Darren Islar: oming back
Darren Islar: seeing it fade again
Darren Islar: in the meantime doing so
Darren Islar: I get more grounded, more into my body
Maxine Walden: hmm, interesting
Darren Islar: in there I find something that feels more valid
Darren Islar: and slowly that grows bigger, while my thoughts get smaller
Darren Islar: I'm not heading towards it, though to start of yes
Darren Islar: just realizing that I need another approach then trying to get rid of it
Darren Islar: then I try to detect what it is I really feel
Darren Islar: and try to detect it in my body
Darren Islar: giving it space by breathing towards it
Darren Islar: and slowly body and mind start to work together again
Darren Islar: the pressure might not have gone away, but certainly starts to feel differently
Maxine Walden: hi, Steve
Wol Euler: hello steve
stevenaia Michinaga: happy Mother's day
Darren Islar: hi stevenaia
Maxine Walden: yes, happy Mother's day
Qt Core: hi stevenaia
Hokon Cazalet: hi stevenaia
stevenaia Michinaga: (assumes no such thing exists in Europe)
Qt Core: yes it does
stevenaia Michinaga: :)
Wol Euler: I'm pretty sure it does, but it's a recent import
Darren Islar: since WW2 it exists
Wol Euler: oh really? I'm surprised
Darren Islar: it were the Germans that introduced it
Maxine Walden: Oh?
Wol Euler: huh
Darren Islar: well, at least in Holland
Darren Islar: not sure why anymore, probably to honour the woman as part of the family of course in the way they saw it
Darren Islar: I dont' mean to say anything about Germans here btw :)
Maxine Walden: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: dotty, didn;t mean to take the entire session off topic
stevenaia Michinaga: sorry, rather
Darren Islar: :)
Darren Islar: i guess i did :)
stevenaia Michinaga: oops, or kill the flow
stevenaia Michinaga: ...
Maxine Walden: not at all :)
Maxine Walden: We have been low key this session, really, maybe resting on this Sunday
Darren Islar: whispers to Steve: and I'm filling it with my talking :))
Wol Euler: I'm struggling to stay awake, actually
Maxine Walden: And I smiling at myself trying to relax my 'goc shoulds' to just be here with everyone
Qt Core: hi Ara
arabella Ella: Hiya!
Maxine Walden: hi, Ara
Wol Euler: I'm really tired though I haven'T done anything today
Darren Islar: hey Ara :)
Wol Euler: hello ara
Maxine Walden: a relaxing tired, wol, or otherwise?
Hokon Cazalet: brb laundry
Darren Islar: it means you're really tired Wol and need some real rest
Wol Euler chuckles.
Wol Euler: there may be someting in that
Darren Islar: :)
Maxine Walden: (here we are, maybe trying to 'mother' Wol)
Wol Euler: :)
Darren Islar: hehehe
Darren Islar: never thought I would be ever 'mothering'
Maxine Walden: :))
Wol Euler laughs.
--BELL--
arabella Ella: perhaps that is due to today being mother's day in many parts of the world
Maxine Walden: yes, ara, we had been thinking of mother's day a bit ago
Wol Euler: the urge to *do* mothering is distinct from *being* a mother IMHO
arabella Ella: ah
Wol Euler: one sees plenty of people with children, without that urge :(
Maxine Walden: :( indeed, Wol
Darren Islar nods
Wol Euler: who see their kids as burdens, as obstacles
Maxine Walden: yes, sadly
Maxine Walden: the thought brings me to a sense of fatigue...
Maxine Walden: mothering as a burden...
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, priorities gone ary
stevenaia Michinaga: (goes for fathering too)
Maxine Walden: :)
Wol Euler nods.
Darren Islar: nooooooo, not fathering.... :))
Hokon Cazalet: an old friend of mine wants to hang out, dance, I'm gonna go spend some time with her, nice chatting with you all today, have a good sunday =)
Wol Euler: bye hokon, have fun
arabella Ella: bye Hokon :)
Maxine Walden: thanks, Hokon, have a good time
Darren Islar: bye Hokon
Hokon Cazalet: Weeee! ^.^
Qt Core: bye, heve dun!
Qt Core: fun
stevenaia Michinaga: hard to belive it is a matter as simple as a choice to put children above "other" priorities, if only for a few years
stevenaia Michinaga: 18 years is really not a long time
Maxine Walden: unless, perhaps, the parents themselves received relatively little good mothering/fathering
Wol Euler nods.
stevenaia Michinaga: nods
Wol Euler: I fear that it runs in generatoins like that, yse
Maxine Walden: hmm, sadly agree
arabella Ella: arent there also other factors such as responsibility, respect and at the other end of the spectrum selfishness?
Darren Islar: my parents tell me they stay parents for the rest of their live
Darren Islar: besides the point, sorry
Maxine Walden: ara, not quite sure of your point; could you say a bit more?
arabella Ella: perhaps kids are no longer brought up to have a strong sense of responsibility?
arabella Ella: generalising of course
Maxine Walden: ah...yes, understand better
arabella Ella: their values are different from the previous generation
Darren Islar: as they are from the generation before that, but I see your point
Darren Islar: it seems to be more in our culture, then in the way we mother or father
arabella Ella nods
arabella Ella: although i must admit it is not an easy life for today's young generation
Wol Euler nods.
Darren Islar: the info we get is so much more then 20 years ago, I once read about 20.000 times
Qt Core: while it may seem an horrible thing to say i feel that there may be some truth in something many old people say,that youngster may nee another war to understand responsability and the seriousness of life (and maybe younger generwation are starting having some of that in a "economic" form of war
Darren Islar: not sure about that though
Maxine Walden: interesting and possibly disturbing thoughts, Qt, but gives me pause...
Wol Euler: wb ara
Maxine Walden: hi again, ara
arabella Ella: ty
Darren Islar: wb Ara
arabella Ella feels bad when i crash :(
Maxine Walden: I will need to leave with the pause....but have enjoyed our talk; somehow seems like a topic with lots left to think about
Wol Euler nods.
--BELL--
Qt Core: bye Maxine
arabella Ella: bye Maxine!
Maxine Walden: bye all
stevenaia Michinaga: bye Maxine
Wol Euler: bye maxine, enjoy the afternoon
Darren Islar: bye Max
arabella Ella: for the europeans still here - eurovision week this week ... :)
Wol Euler: heheheheh
arabella Ella: with italy participating for the first time in ages
stevenaia Michinaga: what is "eurovision week "
Qt Core: and since a lot of years italy will compete again
Qt Core: :-)
arabella Ella: it is the eurovision song contest steve
Qt Core: a song competition, one song per nation from all europe
arabella Ella: where the song which gets the most votes from its neighbours generally wins
stevenaia Michinaga: :)
arabella Ella: with preliminaries starting on tuesday and final on saturday
Wol Euler: in theory it's amateur, but in practice there is a lot of conniving at professional "encouragement" behind hte scenes
Darren Islar: holland probably will fale again in the preliminaries :)
Darren Islar: yes, it's show and fake
Qt Core: this is the italian entry, the winner of the "young" section of sanremo music festival: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZyVyim1rWo
Darren Islar: and a lot of peopel like that :)
arabella Ella: at least you have neighbours darren!
Darren Islar: hahaha
Qt Core: title of the song madnes of love
arabella Ella: i love it and hate it at the same time but it glues me to the TV each year
arabella Ella: who is your singer Qt?
Wol Euler laughs.
Darren Islar: but those neighbours take it a bit more seriously then a lot of other new countries I'm afraid :)
Darren Islar sees Ara glued to the television :)
Wol Euler: sounds painful
arabella Ella: the funny thing is some countries vote for the worst songs in an attempt not to advantage the best song so it is weird at the best of times
Qt Core: to be honest, while i end up watching some of the sanremo festival i never sae the eurovision contest
arabella Ella: he he
arabella Ella: i nearly always watch your san remo too Qt!
Qt Core: :-)
arabella Ella: that is the italian national song contest held at san remo (location)
Qt Core: and it is said to evene be the inspiration for the eurovision contest
arabella Ella: i would not be surprised
Zon Kwan: waves
Wol Euler: wb
Wol Euler: or bye :)
Qt Core: bye zon
arabella Ella: what is fun about eurovision is the bling and clothes and spectacle that it provides
Darren Islar: i got a tp, see you folks :))
arabella Ella: bye darren!
Qt Core: bye Darren, have fun
Wol Euler: bye adrren
Wol Euler: *darren
Qt Core: from the songs i thought that this year Sanremo was the best in may years
Qt Core: many
arabella Ella: yes it was very good this year
arabella Ella: altho san remo is not as spectacular as eurovision
arabella Ella: and not as controversial although you may have a different opinion Qt
Qt Core: don't know, but all the "behind the scenes" real or ipotized moves are still fun to listen to ;-)
arabella Ella: oh yes definitely!
Qt Core: the funniest this years was that italian state tv (the one broadcasting sanremo) was ordered from magistrature to say that they would be unable to stop organizations trying to cheat the phone voting sistem :-) the hosts had to tell that at least ince a night
arabella Ella: wow i had not heard about that myself!
Wol Euler laughs.
arabella Ella: then you also have so many colourful personalities
arabella Ella: La Clerici and Bonolis for example
--BELL--
Qt Core: it is simple too, you just pay some thousand people to vote the song they are told to
arabella Ella: he he
stevenaia Michinaga: I have to start dinner, nice seeing you Wol, Ara, Qt
Wol Euler: bye steve, bon appetit
arabella Ella: nice to c u too steve, bye!
Qt Core: bye, enjoy
arabella Ella: i must go too good night Wol, Qt!
Wol Euler: bye ara!
Qt Core: bye Ara
Qt Core: when there are no pope's beatifications or royal weddings Sanremo is hands down the most followed tv show of the years, sometimes even bigger than soccer world cup
Wol Euler laughs.
Wol Euler: what a strange world :)
Qt Core: it would be boring if not :-)
Wol Euler: true :)
Wol Euler: I think I'll move on too, I have some errands to run before bed.
Wol Euler: enjoy the music
Qt Core: ty, bye Wol