2012.10.18 19:00 – Absence

The Guardian for this meeting was Paradise Tennant.  Participants included Xs, druth, stevenaia and Catrinamonblue

Paradise Tennant: hello xs :)
Paradise Tennant: have you been to pab before?
Xs Andree: Hello, Paradise.
Paradise Tennant: smiles is this your first session?
Xs Andree: sorry, was in IM's
Xs Andree: No, I’ve been to four or five now previous to this.
Paradise Tennant: no worries :)
Paradise Tennant: oh good you like it :)
Paradise Tennant: fun really
Xs Andree: it is peaceful here.
Paradise Tennant: is there anything you would like to talk about? I think our suggested themes is the dread of being lost :)) but we can explore whatever interests you
Paradise Tennant: it is peaceful here lots of room to breathe
Xs Andree: I try not to have expectations, though, and just experience something for a while to see if it is something that is working for me or not.
Xs Andree: I'm willing to see where it goes, really.
Paradise Tennant: excellent approach expectations are so tricky .. I try to do much the same thing .often think of it as surrender
Xs Andree: I was late to the last session; we were talking about our darker aspects. Not much has been said about absence, which I was looking forward to, but it isn't a subject that most can stay on.
Xs Andree nods
Xs Andree: Sometimes I don't want to say anything at all.
Paradise Tennant: smiles not sure I really understood it ...
Xs Andree grins
Paradise Tennant: absence...
Xs Andree: I'm a bit of a nihilist, myself, so..loss, absence, the void, nothingness, these are favorite subjects of mine.
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Paradise Tennant: and listens
Xs Andree: But their contemplation does not lend itself to words very well.
Xs Andree: Like..."nothing"
Xs Andree: once you call it a name, it becomes something.
Xs Andree: a thing, in contradiction to its very name.
Xs Andree: once it is invoked, something inevitably comes of it.
Xs Andree: The only thing I can really say about nothing is, something must come from it.
Xs Andree: because it is the only thing that can.
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Paradise Tennant: sounds like it operates like a vacuum in a way .. cannot be nothing .. indefinitely
Paradise Tennant: or can it?
Xs Andree: Nothingness can be the total balance of all things, together, at once, all opposites cancelled out.
Xs Andree: well...
Xs Andree: a vacuum, has to contain time and gravity, it is the only two things *physically* that can't be removed
Xs Andree: a spiritual vacuum though, you'd have to define
Xs Andree: But...and there is where I get tripped up...
Xs Andree: in nothing, you don't have to have either
--BELL--
Paradise Tennant: do you ever get to experience a sense of nothing
Xs Andree: very fleetingly
Xs Andree: I can't hold it
Paradise Tennant: what does it feel like?
Xs Andree: it doesn't feel like anything.
Xs Andree: I don't feel anything, it’s...like an eternal moment, that is gone before you realize it happened.
Xs Andree: and I can't find it easily, either.
Paradise Tennant: a moment that is empty
Xs Andree: ....
Xs Andree: It feels full, as well
Xs Andree: of everything
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Xs Andree: I think that is why I can't hold it.
Xs Andree: sometimes I think it can't be held.
Xs Andree: or, maybe I just haven't learned how.
Paradise Tennant: hello druth we are talking of nothing )))
druth Vlodovic: sounds like a good topic :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: hello
Xs Andree waves
Paradise Tennant: hello cat have you been to pab before ?
Catrinamonblue Resident: once I'm new to SL
Paradise Tennant: do you have the notecard ?
Catrinamonblue Resident: not sure
Paradise Tennant: if you click on the box behind you it will give you one ;_
Paradise Tennant: we have been talking of nothing ..
Paradise Tennant: how it can seem empty and full all at the same time
Xs Andree thinks
Xs Andree: All cups are full
Xs Andree: They are containers, and even empty, they are full of nothing.
Paradise Tennant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing
Paradise Tennant: this been a lively ongoing debate for centuries it seems :)
Xs Andree nods
Paradise Tennant: are we such containers?
Xs Andree: I hope so.
Xs Andree: If I could empty myself, then I could have everything.
Paradise Tennant: does being able to appreciate nothingness help us
Paradise Tennant: that is a big idea xs :__ blinking on it
Xs Andree: I don't know if it is true. Fair warning.
Xs Andree: But once I become something, then there is something I am not.
Paradise Tennant: I am convinced we all live in our truth each as valid as the next but often completely different
druth Vlodovic: g2g, have fun guys
Catrinamonblue Resident: bye
Paradise Tennant: nitenite druth nice to see you
Paradise Tennant: good nite cat
Xs Andree: Does that happen often, here?
Paradise Tennant: people come and go
Xs Andree: Do people often leave right at the beginning of the session?
Paradise Tennant: it is nice when they come and sad when they go
Paradise Tennant: hmm not really a required to stay for the entire session
Xs Andree looks over at you
Paradise Tennant: some engage you more than others .. some nights you just are more tired whatever
--BELL--
Paradise Tennant: Thesis: The Absolute is Pure Being Antithesis: The Absolute is Nothing Synthesis: The Absolute is Becoming
Paradise Tennant: hegel`s approach :)) a compromise :)
Xs Andree listens
Xs Andree: I want to contribute but when I do, people leave.
Paradise Tennant: it tracks to what you have been saying
Paradise Tennant: that by becoming empty you can become everything
Xs Andree: I should read more Hegel then.
Paradise Tennant: hon people just come and go according to their schedule nothing usually to do with one topic or person’s contribution
Xs Andree: I still have to get through Nietzsche though.
Paradise Tennant: lol good luck with that one ;)
Xs Andree: True, but if they stay when I am quiet, and leave when I am not, then I'll know for certain, and I wouldn't feel the need to contribute, just to learn, which is fine.
Xs Andree: yeah, he's...very densely spoken. Sometimes one sentence I have to think on for a long time.
Paradise Tennant: smiles there are all manner of philosophers some serious some not so serious
Xs Andree: but with just you and me...
Xs Andree: No meal fills one so completely as hunger. Hunger stretches and fills every limb, invades the mind with its emptiness, seizes the heart
Xs Andree: No companion is as faithful as loneliness, who never fails to attend when all others have left.
Xs Andree: Failure, makes no demands, requires no condition or treasure, has no expectations, and gently and with persistence, suggests you try something new
Paradise Tennant: lol failure is highly underrated often gives you much more insight than success
Xs Andree: It is unkind, though, and without praise.
Paradise Tennant: only if you take it seriously :)
Xs Andree: ...I think we expect too much praise though, too much celebrity, too much fame and adoration.
Paradise Tennant: neither success nor failure should be taken seriously
Xs Andree: I like that.
Xs Andree: Mom said..."It is fine to take life seriously, but don't let it take you seriously"
Paradise Tennant: are egos are little fantasy generators they drive us to validate what simply is not real
Paradise Tennant: you clearly have a great mom :)
Xs Andree smiles wide
Xs Andree: Thank you
--BELL--
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Xs Andree smiles
Paradise Tennant: when you experience a sense of nothing ..does it make you feel bigger É
Xs Andree: there....is this feeling of expanding
Xs Andree: I guess?
Xs Andree: My most recent experiences with it have been drug induced, so...you can't really rely on that.
Xs Andree: the synthetic canniboids they have, K2 and K4, sometimes they will annihilate your mind for a time, leave you with nothing
Xs Andree: many of my friends swore off it after their first experience like that.
Paradise Tennant: don't know what a synthetic canniboid is ?
Xs Andree: it is artificially created weed.
Paradise Tennant: lol
Paradise Tennant: well there you should go all natural
Xs Andree: they change the chemical makeup to stay ahead of the law.
Xs Andree: our cannabis laws in my state are a bit draconic.
Paradise Tennant: hmm
Xs Andree: I smoked for about five months
Paradise Tennant: in Canada you can get a prescription for it if you have chronic pain
Paradise Tennant: it a health supplemant of sorts
Xs Andree: but my tolerance has started to kick up, so I quit, and stopped using anything for a while.
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Paradise Tennant: that is a fine choice :)
Xs Andree: I can get it for manic depression in 16 states and the district of columbia here in the states, just not my state
Paradise Tennant: life itself should be tasted as is
Xs Andree nods
Xs Andree: I think anything can be overdone.
Xs Andree: even sobriety
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Xs Andree: I've also been celibate for three years irl
Paradise Tennant: would agree that moderation in all things is key
Xs Andree: the first year was out of duty to my marriage, the next was out of fear of getting hurt, this last year has just been relief.
Xs Andree: ...and enlightening. I found the closest friend I'll ever have this year.
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Paradise Tennant: with you give up things you make space .. as you say nothing is a draw
Xs Andree: the first time in three years I've considered dropping celibacy, but...
Xs Andree: I'm not ready for things to change with us, at least not in that direction
Xs Andree nods
Xs Andree: I'm just wondering, though, how far should i go?
Xs Andree: Buddha gave up his family and children
Xs Andree: can I do that to my children?
Paradise Tennant: I hope not
Xs Andree: I don't know.
Xs Andree: If I could give them peace, I would.
Paradise Tennant: Buddha also stopped eating became stick thin and almost died before a simple realization dawned on him
Xs Andree: How can I give them what I don't have, though?
Xs Andree: yes?
Paradise Tennant: extremes are not the only approach
Xs Andree nods
Paradise Tennant: sometimes just being the best person you can be ...one day at a time..
Paradise Tennant: works really well
Xs Andree: Thank you.
Paradise Tennant: without fussing on the days that you do less well .. or on the days you do super well
Paradise Tennant: just one day at a time
--BELL--
Xs Andree: I know that when I become nothing, I have the potential to become anything from that, with equal possibility
Xs Andree: so far, I've only really used it to find out what I want most.
Paradise Tennant: perfect you have your beacon :)
Xs Andree: beacon?
Paradise Tennant: a direction that will guide you
Xs Andree: It hasn't changed much over the last year.
Paradise Tennant: to feel nothing fully without being constraint
Paradise Tennant: constrained
Xs Andree: it is still easily thrown off center for me.
Xs Andree: five days is the best I've had no desire trying to grip my hands and feet and mind and heart
Xs Andree: ...and then my kids call and ask me about christmas
Paradise Tennant: five days is a long time :)
Xs Andree: and my heart wrenches and my life teeters
Paradise Tennant: lol xmas does that to a lot of folks
Paradise Tennant: me I just like to wander around and look at the lights
Xs Andree smiles wide
Xs Andree: I do love the lights
Xs Andree: and the cold nights always seem warmer until the 26th
Paradise Tennant: the bustle is sort of cool ..
Paradise Tennant: too everyone is getting ready there is a sense of anticipation
Xs Andree: I can't stand commercialism, though.
Xs Andree: lol that was odd
Xs Andree: Jaysoooonnnn....I thought I saw a UFO...Jayssssoooon....
Paradise Tennant: it can just be a day of appreciation calling everyone you love :)) to wish them well
Paradise Tennant: there is glitch it was the train
Paradise Tennant: train
Xs Andree: lol
Xs Andree: I wish I could find that song on You tube
Xs Andree: brb, bio break
Paradise Tennant: ok
--BELL--
Paradise Tennant: smiles
Xs Andree: back with earl grey
Paradise Tennant: nice
Paradise Tennant: like earl gray been drinking a lot of mint tea lately
Xs Andree: I like earl Grey and English Black Breakfast the most, but sometimes i like peppermint sleepytime
Paradise Tennant: and bought some nice fauchon tea that was yummy .. a small but important indulgence
Paradise Tennant: nod all 3 are good
Xs Andree: Earl is my favorite, but I don't like to get too used to it, so I use English black to offset the taste of it, so I'm not getting too used to the same taste all the time.
Paradise Tennant: hmm there are so many great teas you could have a different one every day of the rest of your life I think ..
Xs Andree: lol, too true. now if I could only afford a box of each....
Paradise Tennant: nice thing is it does not go bad :)) they say it gets better
Xs Andree: i think I'll just get two boxes a week, and kind of bulid up my stock of tea
Xs Andree: when I drink good tea i only need a few cups a day
Paradise Tennant: yes !
Paradise Tennant: funny how much comfort there is in our rituals
Paradise Tennant: i wake up with coffee ..
Xs Andree grins
Xs Andree: i wake up with modestep and otep
Paradise Tennant: and that first cup of coffee sitting in bed blinking is one of the nicest parts of my day
Xs Andree: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL1Tr1wUQfQ
Xs Andree: and a hand rolled cigarette, usually chocolate cavendish tobacco
Paradise Tennant: hmm
Paradise Tennant: I bet you look forward to it :)
Xs Andree: more so than waking up, lol.
Paradise Tennant: something about morning sleep :)
Xs Andree: My daughter introduced me to Modestep. i'm hooked on dubstep at 40, lol
Xs Andree: I know huh?
Xs Andree: I think no business should open their doors until 1 pm
--BELL--
Paradise Tennant: good to share :))
Paradise Tennant: well speaking of waking up :) I should go walk the dog and trundle off to bed .. it is 11.30 pm here :) will be up in few short hours :))
Paradise Tennant: lol and likely not happy about it :)
Xs Andree: lol, okay. I"m waiting for my 11:11. Then I might write
Paradise Tennant: hiya stev :)
Xs Andree: Thank you, Paradise, this has been a very enlightening session for me.
Xs Andree waves waves to Steveania
Paradise Tennant: was just going go to trundle off to bed :)
stevenaia Michinaga: smiles
Paradise Tennant: how are you :)
stevenaia Michinaga: busy, just stopped in to say hello
stevenaia Michinaga: hi Xs
Xs Andree: Did you send me the link about time, Stevenaia?
stevenaia Michinaga: link about time? no, I don;t think so
stevenaia Michinaga: would love to see it
Xs Andree: I can't remember who sent it to me, and I can't get chrome to do bookmarks anymore.
stevenaia Michinaga: I'm sure it;s in your inventory w/ everything else you cannot find
Paradise Tennant: smiles yep that messy inventory thing :))
Xs Andree: no, it was a link sent in chatlog, and I don't log chats
stevenaia Michinaga: I look forward to reading the log
stevenaia Michinaga: (tonights)
Xs Andree: oh yeah, you guys log them on the site.
Paradise Tennant: oh sorry really fading .. going to have poof :) would stay if I could keep my bleary little eyes open but they keep shutting :))
Xs Andree: it was a few days ago, though
stevenaia Michinaga: chats logs are recorded if you set your preferences to do so
stevenaia Michinaga: night PAra
Xs Andree: I don't. I have a tendency to comb through them when people start arguing with me and accusing me of things
Xs Andree: and copy pasting chatlogs back to them...instead of just letting it go, so I don't chatlog
Paradise Tennant: https://wiki.playasbeing.org/Chat_Logs/2012/10
Paradise Tennant: smiles well namaste my friends :))
stevenaia Michinaga: night PAradise
Paradise Tennant: nite nite :) stev xs :) sweet dreams :)
stevenaia Michinaga: have you been here often?
Xs Andree: about five or six times now
Xs Andree: it feels like more though.
stevenaia Michinaga: :)
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, it can grow on you
Xs Andree: was looking through the chatlogs, looks like it ended before the link was sent, or else I'm on the wrong log.
stevenaia Michinaga: I must be off, good seeing you agian?
Xs Andree: Yes, it was. It is always good to see all of you.
Xs Andree: Goodnight, Stevenaia