2012.10.19 19:00 - absence and communication

The Guardian for this meeting was druth Vlodovic. The comments are by druth Vlodovic.

druth Vlodovic: hi
Catrinamonblue Resident: hello
Catrinamonblue Resident: so what is our topic.
druth Vlodovic: absence
druth Vlodovic: we seem to be doing a good job so far :)
Catrinamonblue Resident: so does absence make the heart grow fonder as the saying goes?
druth Vlodovic: I suppose one of us could leave and see if it works
Catrinamonblue Resident: i don't think it's true, I think that being together makes the heart fonder
Catrinamonblue Resident: absense just causes pain
Catrinamonblue Resident: the heart is wishing for the person to come back
Catrinamonblue Resident: needing them to be close to feel complete
--BELL--
druth Vlodovic: the bell doesn't seem to be working properly
druth Vlodovic: maybe it wants us to feel fonder about it
druth Vlodovic: so you don't believe that familiarity breeds contempt?
Catrinamonblue Resident: no, as you become more familair with a person you can better anticipate their needs and wants.
Catrinamonblue Resident: though I do admit in RL this doesn't alwasy happen but that is due to lack of comunication
Catrinamonblue Resident: sometimes two people talk on different wavelengths
Catrinamonblue Resident: while one person is saying I want you to do.... the other person is hearing you have to do....
druth Vlodovic: it happens
druth Vlodovic: I suppose a cure is for each person to know their minds and be able to say "no" when they want to
Catrinamonblue Resident: sometimes its hard to say no when you know the other person has your best interests in mind or when the other person is a control frak and overrides all nos
druth Vlodovic: maybe by "contempt" the saying really means the tendency to believe that you know the person rather than seeing them fresh each time
druth Vlodovic: so you're not really seeing or hearing the person in question
--BELL--
Catrinamonblue Resident: I think that is very true and had never thought or looked at it that way
Catrinamonblue Resident: As Anne would say today is new with no mistakes in iot so why can we not wake up each morning and see our partner new

(Anne as in "Anne of Green gables")
Catrinamonblue Resident: no mistakes in this day
Catrinamonblue Resident: but the question is can the past mistakes be left in the past or do they really colour the presnt and the future
druth Vlodovic: the past can be used as an indicator to the future if it isn't overdone
Catrinamonblue Resident: what happens when it is overdone?
Catrinamonblue Resident: the person is left feeling like they will never be able to prove they can and have changed
Catrinamonblue Resident: when the day is new and the past left behind then all possibilities abound both good and bad but if the person has changed and that change is good
Catrinamonblue Resident: then the possibilities are good
--BELL--
druth Vlodovic: I would suppose that your experiences in the past would have to direct any changes
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes do go on
druth Vlodovic: well,how else would you know what changes are necessary, if any are?
Catrinamonblue Resident: past expeince can direct future changes but also the influence of other people can direct change as well
Catrinamonblue Resident: when expectations are put on a person it encourages them to strive to meet those expectations
Catrinamonblue Resident: one has to be careful though to make sure those expectations are realistic or the person is bound to fail
Catrinamonblue Resident: failure is a painful process that leads to the person feeling bad and eventually giving up on any changes
druth Vlodovic: people have to decide for themselves who they want to be, relying on others is a bit of a dangerous game
Catrinamonblue Resident: of course but a lot of people come out of childhood with serious self esteem issues and rely , perhaps too much, on others
--BELL--
druth Vlodovic: onigokko
druth Vlodovic: stop
Catrinamonblue Resident: onigokko
Catrinamonblue Resident: stop
druth Vlodovic: aww
Catrinamonblue Resident: yes I am the despoiler of fun
Catrinamonblue Resident: onigokko
druth Vlodovic: better :)
druth Vlodovic: haaaalp!
Catrinamonblue Resident: it's your choice
druth Vlodovic: stop
druth Vlodovic: pant pant pant
Catrinamonblue Resident: LOL LOL
Catrinamonblue Resident: onigokko
Catrinamonblue Resident: stop
--BELL--
druth Vlodovic: shhh
druth Vlodovic: have fun cat
druth Vlodovic: er, bye