2011.05.08 07:00 - Anxiety at the Fountain

The Guardian for this meeting was Adams Rubble. The comments are by Adams Rubble.

At this session we discussed ways to deal with anxiety.

Eliza Madrigal: Good Morning Adams :)
Adams Rubble: Hello Eliza :)
Adams Rubble: Hello druth :)
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Druth :) Morning
druth Vlodovic: hi :)
Adams Rubble: Hello Susan :)
druth Vlodovic: hey sue
iwandertoo Resident: waves
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Susan :)
Eliza Madrigal: I can really almost smell the grass as we are sitting here
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Eliza Madrigal: freshly mowed
Adams Rubble: :)
Adams Rubble: the landscapers here are so quiet
Eliza Madrigal: isn't that so
Adams Rubble: Does anyone have anything they would like to discuss?
iwandertoo Resident: shallow breathing
Eliza Madrigal: hmm
Adams Rubble: yes?
iwandertoo Resident: why does this occur for some as a way of dealing with anxiety (or an effect of)
Adams Rubble: I know nothing about that
Eliza Madrigal: seems to be that our heart speeds up and the breath tries to regulate that?
iwandertoo Resident: i thought something like PaB would be helpful...slowing down - but this isnt something i believe she would do
Adams Rubble: but focusing on breathing can help us focus away from things making us anxious
Eliza Madrigal: nods, if the breath can get our attention, we can follow it to calmness
Adams Rubble: Hello Yaku :)
druth Vlodovic: if you need to make a sudden rush you don't want lungs full of air, so you breeathe quickly and shallowly to oxygenate your muscles without impairing your readyness
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Snoopy Yaku
Yakuzza Lethecus: hey everyone
druth Vlodovic: hi Yak, er dog
iwandertoo Resident: yes, sorry Eliza. I think it's the triggers and recognizing them
druth Vlodovic: deep breathing is inherently relaxing, I find
Eliza Madrigal: that's interesting, druth
iwandertoo Resident: nods, yes. not asking the correct question.
iwandertoo Resident: hi yaku
Eliza Madrigal: its an interesting question
Eliza Madrigal: and collaborates nicely with what Pema posted for the time group this morning, about breathing stillness
Adams Rubble: you are so quick Eliza :)
druth Vlodovic: you could tell her about the 9 second breaks as a personal opinion without bringing her here
iwandertoo Resident: not yet read...
Eliza Madrigal: :) I'm a morning reader
iwandertoo Resident: i did, Druth. she seems to know its happening - aware ot - and still has a difficult time just slowing down.
iwandertoo Resident: told her after each sentence to tap each finger once (but one can do that really quickly)
druth Vlodovic: habits are hard to change, you need patience with yourself to avoid adding to your frustration
Eliza Madrigal: She might try, rather than waiting until feeling the anxiety, finding a 'clue' to give herself during the day
Adams Rubble: Focusing on the present moment begins to slow us down
Eliza Madrigal: ah, that's the direction you suggested too :)
Adams Rubble: Forgetting the past and the future
--BELL--
Adams Rubble: we rarely are anxious about the present moment but more so what we might have done in the past or what is likely to happen to us in the future
iwandertoo Resident: yes, there is a lot of anxiety about the future.
druth Vlodovic: if I could let go of my regrets I think my life would be much calmer :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
iwandertoo Resident: :)
Eliza Madrigal: maybe we tap into timelessness this way, like a hummingbird
Adams Rubble: hummingbirds?
Eliza Madrigal: make the regrets (maybe a type of hunger) fall away by drinking in the present moment
Eliza Madrigal: guess I'm feeling poetic this morning, flighty, don't mind me :)
Adams Rubble: :)
druth Vlodovic: flighty is good :)
Adams Rubble: we can learn from our mistakes but do not have to dwell on them
druth Vlodovic: failure causes frustration which increases unhappiness and saps energy
druth Vlodovic: even failure to relax :)
Adams Rubble: :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Adams Rubble: yes, adapt the idea that did not help me relax so I will try something else :)
Eliza Madrigal nods, different approaches
Eliza Madrigal: I couldn't have imagined meditating for 20 minutes when I started to notice my breath at stoplights
druth Vlodovic: music, deep breathing, soothing voices, darkness, forced muscle relaxation
iwandertoo Resident: are any of you super extroverted?
Eliza Madrigal: that was a relaxing sentence, druth :)
iwandertoo Resident: (RL)
Eliza Madrigal: funny question Susan, I'm a complete mixture.... huge shy tendencies and huge outgoingness too
Eliza Madrigal listens for others
Eliza Madrigal: (shy used to win over greatly when younger)
iwandertoo Resident: introvert - but not shy
Eliza Madrigal: is the test whether one is energized or drained by 'others'?
druth Vlodovic: lol, I've been told I probably have social anxiety disorder, so not really
iwandertoo Resident: no...i would like to understand how the slowing down process went for someone who is very exotrverted, chatty, hyper
druth Vlodovic: I'm sort of both, I am energized by being around others but getting into a situation where I am gives me nervous sweats and worse
Eliza Madrigal: yes, nods @ druth, I relate to it being context related
Eliza Madrigal: and 'others' can be contexts
Adams Rubble no help for extrovert questions. hehe
Eliza Madrigal: Pema seems one to ask :)
iwandertoo Resident: smiles...i'm laughing at even wrting that now
iwandertoo Resident: oh...true, Eliza
iwandertoo Resident: thank you
Adams Rubble: I think much of it is we have to keep working at staying in the moment and finding peace :)
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Adams Rubble: we find little bits of it and then fall backwards
Adams Rubble: then we find it for a bit longer and fall backwards again
Adams Rubble: but each time around we can get better at it
Adams Rubble: and the lapses caan be shorter
druth Vlodovic: no goal, just something to do in life
--BELL--
Eliza Madrigal: am thinking of a friend who is like you describe, Susan.... chatty, always on the phone wanting someone to say 'yes you are still here'... but over time she would think about pausing, then saw that she was doing it
Eliza Madrigal: funnily, she noticed not needing to be on the phone so much, like the breath was saying 'you are still here' now :)
iwandertoo Resident: she is aware of what is happening...and is going to try some things...i just wonder how best to support her - suggestions, different things she could try
Eliza Madrigal: is she physically active?
iwandertoo Resident: no...but we made a plan for this
Eliza Madrigal: :)
iwandertoo Resident: this is primary (get out, feel better, get out of her head)
iwandertoo Resident: i think this will help immensely
Eliza Madrigal: YES
iwandertoo Resident: thank you for all of your suggestions
Eliza Madrigal: sometimes we need to trick ourselves... sneak up, hah
Adams Rubble: it was a good question Susan, one with which we all deal with
Eliza Madrigal: yes, very
iwandertoo Resident: i think we need to "un-trick ourselves and look in the mirror...and realize "its going to be okay"
Adams Rubble: Hello Sun :)
Eliza Madrigal smiles
druth Vlodovic: hi sun
iwandertoo Resident: waves
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Sunshine :)
Sunshine Vayandar: hi everyone ;)
Adams Rubble: Much of our anxiety is manufactured by us :)
iwandertoo Resident: yes, our rationalizations
Eliza Madrigal: fuel for 'goals' too, it would be easy to think
druth Vlodovic: anxiety can feel like progress because it is work
Eliza Madrigal: hmmm
Adams Rubble: hopefully none of are anxious that the fountain will overflow and our outfits will then shrink :)
Sunshine Vayandar: ;))
Eliza Madrigal: this is a surprisingly tame fountain for all the conversations it listens to
Eliza Madrigal: must be extroverted
Sunshine Vayandar: hehe
druth Vlodovic: takes our words, absorbs and releases them
Eliza Madrigal smiles
Sunshine Vayandar: ã‹¡
Adams Rubble beginning to think there is much more we could be anxious about if we tried
Adams Rubble: we probably can congratulate ourselves for all the things we have managed not to be anxious about
Adams Rubble: maybe a way of reducing anxiety?
Eliza Madrigal: :) Like noticing the space
Eliza Madrigal: giving credit is sometimes great practice
iwandertoo Resident: yes...
iwandertoo Resident: the little things
Eliza Madrigal: I used to feel bad if I didn't finish my 'to do' list, so for a while i started adding on the 'things I did instead' which I hadn't noticed in the measure before
Eliza Madrigal: very liberating!
Sunshine Vayandar: ;))
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm to do lists ...
--BELL--
Adams Rubble: yes "to do" lists tend to grow faster than shrink
Sunshine Vayandar: I think everyone is thinking of their to do lists ;)
Adams Rubble: hehe
iwandertoo Resident: lol
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
iwandertoo Resident: 5/6/11
iwandertoo Resident: 5/7/11
iwandertoo Resident: ...
Eliza Madrigal: :)
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Eliza Madrigal: :) was thinking of the expression "missing the forest for the trees"
Eliza Madrigal: odd expression
Adams Rubble makes note to count the trees on the to do list
Sunshine Vayandar: lol
Eliza Madrigal: :))
Sunshine Vayandar: tree one, tree two, tree three
Eliza Madrigal: missing the forest for counting the trees?
Adams Rubble: ")
Adams Rubble: :)
druth Vlodovic: g2g, have fun guy
Eliza Madrigal: Bye Druth, have a lovely day!
Yakuzza Lethecus: bye druth
iwandertoo Resident: waves
Sunshine Vayandar: byebyeee Druth
Adams Rubble: bye druth
Sunshine Vayandar: hi Bruce ;)
Eliza Madrigal: Hi Bruce :)
Adams Rubble: Hello Bruce :)
iwandertoo Resident: hi Bruce
Bruce Mowbray: Good morning - and Happy Mothers' Day!
Sunshine Vayandar: ;) morning
iwandertoo Resident: ty
Sunshine Vayandar: yes happy mom's day
Bruce Mowbray: someone with a tail just left -- was that druthie?
Eliza Madrigal: Thanks Bruce :) Happy Mother's Day
Eliza Madrigal: yes :)
Eliza Madrigal: my son just woke up and was hesitating to go play, saying he didn't want to 'leave me' on mother's day :))
Bruce Mowbray: k. TY!
iwandertoo Resident: very sweet
Sunshine Vayandar: ahh really Liz
Bruce Mowbray: awww.. that's beautiful, Eliza.
Eliza Madrigal: I thanked him for his devotion but said it was really fine, hah
Sunshine Vayandar: hehe
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Eliza Madrigal: unless he wanted to hang out :)
Eliza Madrigal: ah, time for the guardian session
Eliza Madrigal: Thanks Adams, and everyone. And Susan too... great topic this morning
Bruce Mowbray notices that Yaku is raising his hand. Does he need to go to the bathroom?
Adams Rubble: I will be missing the guardian session today
Sunshine Vayandar: Thanks Adams ;)
Eliza Madrigal: Enjoy your Sunday Adams
Adams Rubble: bye everyone who is going :)
Bruce Mowbray: bye, Adams.
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Eliza Madrigal: :P bruce
Sunshine Vayandar: hehe Bruce
Adams Rubble needs to work on to do list. hehe
iwandertoo Resident: :)
Eliza Madrigal: tries to remember which way to go....hehe
Sunshine Vayandar: byebyee all enjoy your sunday
Eliza Madrigal: Ah, that way
Adams Rubble: bye Sun, you too
Sunshine Vayandar: I think it's this way
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Eliza Madrigal: Hugs
iwandertoo Resident: waves
Adams Rubble: someone needs to put up a sign
Sunshine Vayandar: hugs ;)