2018.03.18 - Day 4

'DaysoftheYear.com' says March 18th is both:
Awkward Moments Day
Forgive Mom & Dad Day

3 Snapshots from a slow-mo 9-sec vid:
15 years living with a song = autopilot And rediscover every time and not being in the moment finger slips by a fret to wrong note (who noticed? bandmates?(think not), that couple seductively dancing in Their world?)
Two measures later playing correctly, kicking self over a miss, getting ready for the entry to the bridge (like the pairs ice dancing coming up to the synchronized triple axial on the downbeat), how much has that women had to drink? the yellow spot is way to bright.
The cowbell sound is a Gong! a breath, Appreciation, ...

The bowing to my food on occasion is starting to get into my system quite well. The longer practice less so.

Noting Riddle's Forgive Mom and Pop Day. As I have been reading and thinking more about the patriarchy, lots more than Mom and Pope to forgive. But I have been thinking compassionately about their struggle against Patriarchy. This stuff gets passed on. Hoping some day my descendants will be able to forgive me too.

I am finishing my abbreviation exercise because some it is too dated. Time to move on but to stay engaged.

A little easier today than yesterday to find the time to do my little bit of reading.

Mindfulness Bell set from afternoon on. Found myself 'shutting it all down' upon the ding, skipping or collapsing step 2 (the surveying of surroundings/self), closing eyes.

Some contemplation of 'the why' as well. A teacher talked (not to me, in general) recently, about the reasons people come to practice, and gave 3 (there's that 3 again). In this case he was talking about Vajrayana Buddhism.

The first was because of crisis or addiction, some plea for help out of self-destruction.
The second was for life/mind performance or improvement, meaning that one's focus might be benefited by meditation, one might treat others in their life better, be a less rushed artist or parent. Curiosity would also fall into this category.
The third was "to step out of conditioned existence" which in his own life, had always been the why.

I liked the way he acknowledged that he could not say whether practice had improved his life. In some ways it may have made it harder.

He didn't judge any of the reasons. edited 23:30, 18 Mar 2018

Tresholds. New beginnings. Frontiers. New worlds.

Today, I drove to the same place as yesterday, my 91 yo mother-in-law future résidence. She's moving in this Wednesday. This time, I went with my companion and we ventured inside. We saw the comfy dining room, the TV room with a hockey game on [ she's a fan, she'll love that!]. There is also a room where they can play cards and games, a billiard, a pool. I felt sad though, knowing this will be her last home.