2018.04.17 - Day 34

Just thinking this morning that the more education we have the harder it could be to wake up. It's as if my little ego demands that it should all make sense beforehand. Like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly, it seems to need a lot of letting go, just relaxing into. Like in the story of Huineng's election to Sixth Patriarch. Watched Adyashanti in a BATGAP interview last night and really enjoyed what he was saying. I read one of his books in 2012 and wasn't that impressed.

Things kind of mixed together today creating some chaos in my mind. I missed an appointment because I got the time wrong. But here I am at the end of another day and able to remember to be grateful for all the blessings and the other stuff too.

Savoring.

Felt a bit flooded by 'interesting and wonderful things' and needed to switch gears. Thought to romance the restful side of myself ... lit a candle and incense, made a cup of matcha tea using the proper wooden instruments. Partook.

I'm learning that savoring is as much about what one leaves out as what one puts in... that I don't have to actively find something. In the Coursera well-being course, she introduced the phrase "interrupted consumption", and a strategy of splitting an experience that one enjoys, to draw it out. For instance a dessert one enjoys, research has shown one is mostly enjoying for the beginning bites. Splitting the dessert may in some cases, give twice the pleasure. edited 00:41, 18 Apr 2018

"Describe yourself in 5 words"
That's what one of the introductory screens says when you join one particular diaspora* pod. Let's be more generous: 5 hashtags, each of which can include multiple words run together.

It's harder than it looks.

What's going to happen to this information? It gets put in an introductory post from you, together with the message: "Hey everyone. I'm #newhere. I'm interested in" followed by your self-description in hashtags. People may contact you in response to your stated interests. But you may want to be more effusive later in your profile (rather than just one message) with far more hashtags. So it's a limited introduction. And if you have a whole bunch of interests, which do you choose? Moreover, if you've joined a particular community that has a particular emphasis, some of these interests will be irrelevant and you may want to list others that are more relevant.

The Absurdist Existentialist in me may worry about authenticity in describing myself in a limited and therefore potentially misleading way. But living authentically is surely living passionately and sincerely while being true to one's self, or at least the part of one's self one is aware of - which is often largely the personality for many. If that is a subsection of the total me, it will surely be fine if it's expressed in the context of an appropriate community that focuses on those things. Perhaps one problem is that what constitutes living authentically has been misunderstood. (See the video below.)

The Confucian in me will probably applaud the role-playing aspect of this, for I will be playing out a particular limited part of me on this social network, probably to the exclusion of many other parts. Confucius recognized that we are not cleanly integrated beings. We are messy and fragmented, as is the world we live in. And in a messy fragmented world, the best approach may well be to have many disparate instances of "me" to best fit in and make the most of those fragments. And that's OK! (Yes, I am looking at you my friend!)

"The good life ... would mean you're trying to create worlds in which you and those around you can flourish." This is a quote from Michael Puett (author of "The Path") in his 6 minute video provocatively entitled "Truly Terrible Advice: Find Your "True Self" and Be Authentic".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy5MOht4NcU

At one point this morning, I realize that I am doing at least 4 things at once:
- reading the news on my smart phone
- drinking my tea
- worrying about my latest medical snafu
- thinking about what to write in my 99-days entry for today.

I turn off my phone and put it down. That was easy. Now I am down to 3 things.

The worrying is very clingy. It won't turn off and I can't just put it down, so I turn toward it and give it my full attention. I feel the edgy nervousness of it, how it keeps turning around and around without finding any resolution. Clearly, I cannot make it stop, but I can detach from it a little -- let it be in the background as something that is just there, but not as something I am "doing".

Now I give myself to drinking the tea: this is what "I" choose to be "doing" now. I feel the warmth of the mug in my hands, lift it to my lips, feel and taste the tea entering my mouth, the warm liquid descending through my throat, lowering the mug, pausing for a few moments, then repeat. Very deliberate. After a minute, the worrying has receded quite far into the background and is almost out of awareness. Nice.

But I am still thinking about how I will write this 99-days entry. I find I cannot separate myself from that. Because the drinking of the tea is the focus of my 99-days exercise for now, I cannot help but think about how to put this experience into words in order to share it later. The search for words to express the experience of "doing" tea-drinking is an additional "doing" layered over the first. I can't seem to tease them apart.

Oh well, I got from 4 doings down to 2. Not bad for a beginner, I suppose.

This was one piece we practiced this evening
It is called Sleep by Eric Whitacre. The lyrics remind me of Robert Frost.
Sleep well all! The YouTube I wanted to share was a virtual choir edited 06:28, 18 Apr 2018

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6WhWDCw3Mng :)

This was lovely to listen to first thing in the morning, Luci. edited 13:43, 18 Apr 2018

Thank you Eliza:) I was struggling to copy and paste
On a small screen!

Oh my word! I've never seen these videos before. (There's a whole set of them. Where on earth have I been?) So inspiring. Thank you both!

Reading all your posts (two days late).
Some were hard to concentrate on. Re-reading. distracted, start again.
Doing too many 'things' to really read about your doing too many things.
Finally Finished

Watched the Storm youtube of Michael Puett
distracted by the other vids along the right, promised the links to look at them right after, start over.
distracted... make it full screen, start over, concentrate,
Golly it is only 6 minutes long and at the forth minute a bottle of water on the desk distracted.

Came back to the promise. The most interesting looking link was about 8 Intelligences:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY2C4YgXm7I
Took notes and when listing the 8, he listed 10 and might know of more :)
The interesting part was: Should you play to your strengths or build up your weaknesses. hmmm

D.A.D. distracted adult disorder. you get it from your kids.

Now will go watch the music vids. thank you for these links.

Reading all your posts (two days late).
Some were hard to concentrate on. Re-reading. distracted, start again.
Doing too many 'things' to really read about your doing too many things.
Finally Finished

Watched the Storm youtube of Michael Puett
distracted by the other vids along the right, promised the links to look at them right after, start over.
distracted... make it full screen, start over, concentrate,
Golly it is only 6 minutes long and at the forth minute a bottle of water on the desk distracted.

Came back to the promise. The most interesting looking link was about 8 Intelligences:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY2C4YgXm7I
Took notes and when listing the 8, he listed 10 and might know of more :)
The interesting part was: Should you play to your strengths or build up your weaknesses. hmmm

D.A.D. distracted adult disorder. you get it from your kids.

Now will go watch the music vids. thank you for these links.
Oh! have seen Virtual Choir many times. good to re-watch every 6 months.
From the logs of 12/23/2010:
SophiaSharon Larnia: some reason I smell rain water hearing Eric Whitacre's Virtual Choir - 'Lux Aurumque' , am i weird or what
Calvino Rabeni: The Virtual Choir - there are lots of videos about it too ...
Paradise Tennant: hmmm
Paradise Tennant: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7o7BrlbaDs edited 16:39, 19 Apr 2018