2018.06.17 - Day 95

Finished Tart’s book this morning. At the end, he stresses the need for commitment to a group and teacher:
‘At some point, though, mixing a little of this and a little of that is no longer appropriate. Most paths will affect you in direct proportion to the amount of energy you put into them, so you will have to really focus on one and give it large amounts of energy. You can't go in several directions at once if you want to go a long way. So choose a path that has heart for you, whether it's a Gurdjieff group, a Zen group, or whatever.’

Tart, Charles T.. Waking Up: Overcoming the Obstacles to Human Potential (Kindle Locations 5593-5597). Fearless Books. Kindle Edition.

That makes me feel a bit guilty because I do tend to wander around from one set to teachings to the next. But at least I was heavily involved in a Zen group and teacher for a few years. I think you also have to go beyond groups/teachers eventually, but maybe I am wrong.

A crazy couple of days. I accepted a last minute invitation to participate in an RL event, which evoked strong anxiety and a near panic attack in the middle of last night. I had very little sleep going into the event today. It all turned out fine, and I'm very glad I did it. But I wonder why I have to go through such angst in order to access what was basically a very positive experience.

Just got back from a walk in the woods. After losing myself in thoughts and fantasized conversations while walking, I came back to Tolle's hand practice. It felt like getting a breath of fresh air. For a few minutes I was able to put aside all the things I was mentally juggling, and just walk. At the same time, I had an insight into a common theme that shows up in my dreams.

Zen, I also tend to wander from one teaching to another, and wonder sometimes if that has impeded my development. But I think there can also be a pitfall in focusing too narrowly on just one path. Each path has strengths but also blind spots. Any one practice can become habitual and stagnate over time.

I have a friend who directs an interfaith spirituality center. I once described to him my concern that I have never been able to commit myself to one spiritual "home". He replied, "Oh, that's because you are a pluralist". He explained that some people are naturally drawn to settle into one tradition to the exclusion of others, while other people find greater value in exploring multiple sources. He reassured me that pluralism is a valid approach to spirituality.

One of my children wrote with happy fathers' day wishes. That must be a record, on the high side.

Wrote a poem last night in bed (as normal) and finished it off this afternoon. I occasionally look at one or two Tarot cards before I go to bed and use the inspiration from those for any writing. I have several different decks, but the cards I use for this purpose - Morgan's Tarot - are very unusual. There are 88 cards instead of the usual 78, with no suits, no numbering, no trumps, yet they do very nicely and they work should you ever want to do a reading with them. As it happened they echoed what I wrote earlier about being a poor descriptive as opposed to narrative writer. There's an on-line 'consultable' version of Morgan's Tarot here:
http://www.sleepbot.com/morgan/index_h.html

A bunch of people followed me on Mastodon. I'm not sure why. Maybe they like my quirkiness. I suspect it was because they follow the person I mentioned yesterday who had boosted my introductory status.

I actually watched the second half of a World Cup game this afternoon. It was a random choice, Brazil and Switzerland. It was decent play, and at the standard I would expect for early games. The experience was made so much more entertaining by the exuberant commentary entirely in Spanish! But that logo for the competition. It's a joke isn't it? Please tell me it's a joke...

So sad to hear about the fire at Glasgow School of Art. I know the area well and I love the people of Glasgow more than any other city. There is so much artistic talent in and around Glasgow - painting, sculpture, music, poetry and other literature - it's a hard blow.
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/gallery/2018/jun/16/flames-spread-through-glasgow-school-of-art-in-scotland-in-pictures
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2018/jun/17/glasgow-school-of-art-fire-rennie-mackintosh-sprinklers
https://www.theguardian.com/education/2018/jun/16/glasgow-school-of-art-fire-witnesses-shock-disbelief

Had Great Father's gift of Daughter surprise visit. :)
Watched too much TV junk (and some good stuff), took nice hike.

Stevenaia, was checking her Instagram posts of a hiking trip and realized how similar to your works these 2 are:
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bj7VgPUFhje/?taken-by=off.brand.magic
https://www.instagram.com/p/Bj4vPrEldod/?taken-by=off.brand.magic


Took the morning off, coffee in bed, read a book. Not the 'Heavy' books. A light new mystery novel. Nobody not in SL would understand this.
AFK, All of it: All five novels of the AFK series
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07B9XR577/ref=oh_aui_d_detailpage_o04_?ie=UTF8&psc=1

SL, Alts, Sex, Adultree, twists, romance, script code, detectives, conspiracy, etc. and more,
what else do you want in a Mystery edited 02:43, 18 Jun 2018

Oh Alma, sounds so much like what I go through. Glad that in the end, it was a fun day. :)

Lost a long post about path-ing. Perhaps I can piece it back together tomorrow. Or perhaps just let it go. We'll see. :) Sufficeth to say, "yes."

Too sleepy now, and catching up with the Brazil game as I type, after being away for the day, seeing an 80% great production of MacBeth, then running around town with the kiddos plus one. Yes Storm, awful logo!!


Very sorry to hear of this loss in Glasgow.


Ah, and Happy Father's Day. <3 edited 02:15, 18 Jun 2018

While sitting in a dream session at PAB about 18 days ago, Zen opened with a passage from a person who had the same last name of a friend of mine. I went to look up the quoted person in Wikipedia but he isn't there (yet).. so I turned to read the Wikipedia entry on my friend which began "So and So WAS" and .. wow I did not take the news well. It was so unexpected. We are only ten days apart in age. Somehow even tho I knew his time was always going to be shaky after a transplant of related to the aorta in the heart, I wasn't ready for him to go. We had unfinished business. I've always been pretty careful if I knew someone was going, to say "goodbye" if possible in a way that would be comfortable for us both. I want to say goodbye if it's feasible. This particular loss knocked my sox off. Then another of my dearest, irreplaceable people went a week later. It was too much at one time. We have no control on these things so I guess there's no use whining about it. How is it that people I know who are older than me become detached. Is there some point where you really don't care as much? What's worse, becoming less intense over losing those you love, or feeling the sum of the parts is harder and harder to shoulder? The only way I know to deal with these things is to think of all the happy times, the experiences we shared, our good fortune in having each other. To be grateful for what was and try not to dwell on how things will be without them. One day I asked my mom why she was making friends who were amazingly younger than her, by as much as 30 years and she said she was sick of losing her friends and if they were really young, she could feel she was unlikely to lose them. I understood at the time, but I really understand now.

Storm, Yes, I too was deeply saddened when I saw the fire in Glasgow SChool of Art, It was a building that I loved and enjoyed. There was an exhibition of Mackintosh's work that came to NYC a few years ago that I was lucky enough to get to see. The work of a genius. edited 12:41, 18 Jun 2018