2018.04.15 - Day 32

Awake at 2 am, catching up on yesterday's posts after falling asleep much too early. The dog is finally eating his dinner (he sleeps if I do). What marvelous explorations beginning, or turning corners, or shape-shifting. Feeling so curious!

Savoring.

Light captured by a friend's photos of a building designed to let it through.

Musing on Mindfulness in its secular form, I find it great (and with all meditation perhaps ) for distancing my thoughts from my emotions. I am less reactive, I can create a space to reflect and then speak and act from a deeper place.

I used to go to Dokusan, an interview with a Zen teacher, when at retreats. He would ask me how my practice was going. One time I asked him 'what are we practicing for?' He said 'to wake up.' I'm not sure Mindfulness gets you there.

A bit of a turbulent day, noting the energy.

Began with a spilled bag of brown rice, then not talking my grandfather into visiting next week rather than today, then the party - which was, just wow, but might have been a little smoother had I been able to get my music stream going. :) Had so much fun anyway!

When I joined my grandfather after, there were some turns in conversation that prompted me to instead walk away and clean the kitchen. Felt sad about that. He's 88 now. Still drives almost 2 hours to see me, then two hours back after staying just a few hours, and I want those moments to be... well, I want them to be sweet and easy. Hugged him goodbye at the car as he tried to give me money, said he infuriated and upset me. He seemed okay with that. Said I love him anyway. I do.

Found sorting the party photos therapeutic, like partying twice. I knew when the pizzas started flying we had hit the peak. :D That feels like the savoring portion of my day, but I think I will also have a glass of wine now!

Looking forward to taking more time to explore the amazing cake during the week, finding all the note cards!

Have done the taxes. Now need to send.

Also, really like the book and videos mentioned Day 31. It seems so much what we've been working with in the dream sessions, but also something I've been doing 'on the side'. :)

Happy to see Zen and Luci joining too. :) :) :)

>whew< Sorry so long. edited 23:59, 15 Apr 2018

Surprise! a round robin is within sight out the window!It is sitting on a cedar branch.
No dream remembered but meditation brought a reset emotionally.

I could not stay long but enjoyed the birthday party. Happy Birthday!

Somebody, somewhere, must have said "If you want to be a writer, then just start writing".

Stared at this "comment box" today, yesterday, the day before and ...

Know what needs to be written. Tomorrow will write it ( HA! )

Bleu! When I heard there was a PaB book club now, one of my first thoughts was to suggest The Path. I suspect many people would potentially benefit from it and it's not a difficult read. (One day I'll find out more about this Book Club thingie!)

And thank you for that video link. I hadn't seen it before, and it makes a nice teaser to some of the material in the book.

There is a reason that Puett's course is so popular at Harvard, teaching 700 students at a time. On the first day of class each year he claims, "If you take the ideas in these texts seriously, they will change your life." And he's right!

Meanwhile back on the project...

Delightfully busy today. I did have time to attempt a start but got a little distracted - not by the party, but by discovering there are two other decentralized/distributed open source social networks that I might want to consider in place of diaspora* for my project. One is Friendica, another diaspora*-like substitute for Facebook. The other is Mastodon, a substitute for Twitter.

I will have to choose one to continue, and it maybe diaspora* because of its development maturity and apparently greater numbers numbers than Friendica. However, Mastodon has achieved the same number of users in a much shorter time scale. though I don't yet know whether it will do what I want. But in the longer term - as the little girl said when intervening in the debate between hard and soft tacos: "Why don't we have both?"

I would be interested if anyone in PaB has experience of or has considered either diaspora*, Friendica or Mastodon - or any other recent, growing and thriving decentralized/distributed open source social network.

So a little more research before the main project. And more time for it tomorrow. :)

My first attempt at "doing one thing at a time" yesterday led me into complexities and questions that left me feeling like I didn't have a clear understanding of what I am attempting this time around. What does it really mean to do "one thing at a time"? Is it the same thing as "being present"? (I suspect not.) After puzzling over it for a while, I decided to start with something really simple: I would spend 5 minutes just sitting in a chair. That's all. Just sit. I suspect that the book of exercises that I found in my dream would start off with something this basic.

Interestingly, my experience of just sitting was rather different from how I have experienced formal meditation (which I have done a lot of in my lifetime). There was a clarity and a kind of strength in it that felt refreshing, grounded, and relaxed. I was aware of thoughts, but not as something that I was "doing". I ended up sitting for longer than I had intended.

Part 2.
Woke up, could not recall the dreams.
Moved the cats, got up, Looked out the window at a new day.
Started coffee, asked Alexa the weather and did the morning routine, looked out window at newspaper at the end of drive. Wondering what the world has done.
Started computers, checked computers, swore at computers, started PaB Gong and started playlist. Cat came in to say outside was a little cold. Looked out at the turkeys.
Woke Alice and Botty up, got them dressed in human party outfits they had worked on for about a month, got to the right landing spots. Which person is looking in/out this Windows?
Joined friends at the parade and party. Chatted, danced, rejoiced, appreciated, etc. and was thankful. The biggest cake ever. The longest fireworks ever.
Got interrupted to go to neighbor to start a weed whacker (it never started). Saw 2 dog walkers, a fast walker and twenties practicing Frisbee golf putting.
Came back to the most amazing party. Particles indescribable flowing every which way. Music from a past, light shows, flashes and history from a past.
"And somebody spoke, and I went into a dream. Ah, ah-ah-ah, Ah-ah ah, ah AH"
Then some clock on some wall told everybody it was time to leave. They left.
The clock said there was someplace to go.
Went to this place by car. Alone, cranking the Audible story up and drifting off into the book and driving. Our heroes don't know that the others have survived. They don't know what really just happened. They need to make sense of everything with far too few facts.
At this place, said hi to about 100+ new/old friends, said the "yes, the web site needs finishing" then started to help bag meals.
These 10,000+ 'meals' will go overseas this time. We wear hair nets, beard nets :) and plastic gloves. In a bag goes: a pouch of vitamins, 1 cup soy, 1 tablespoon dried veggie mix and 1 cup rice. Weighed to 380g, sealed and boxed. This baggie will feed 6 people and cost $0.29 per person.
Telling you this for two reasons. Not because an ego needs your pat on a back. Not to say am better than you. 1. there are (so) little things each can do each day to make a world out the window remain the most beautiful place. 2. as the nice project person said: "Go on your social media and tell your several friends, World hunger can be ended Now! by awareness!" (and priorities).

Was shaking the long handled tablespoon of 6 vital veggie ingredients to make it level. Listening to the talk of ... When looking at the 3 people in front view, the 10 people at our station, the 100 in the room, the 3 Abrahamic religions represented, the boxes to go out, the hungry of the World and ...
"Is this a dream"
No!

Sometimes the next 30 days of writing won't make sense, but need to do it. So, don't read it! edited 02:23, 16 Apr 2018

Just read Alma's. Raises hand, "Teacher can I switch projects"

Had some leftovers for breakfast today, celery with sausage. I felt very grateful for all that had occurred to put the food on my plate, including the death of of a pig. I feel that both this gratitude and an awareness of being as mortal myself are necessary to reconcile myself with eating meat. Probably not sufficient though...

I am very aware that I am highly unlikely to go vegetarian again, and that interferes with the open-endedness I feel this exercise should have.

Oh Riddle, you can be so delightful. haha

>Then some clock on some wall told everybody it was time to leave. They left.<