2018.05.08 - Day 55

I remembered a few days ago that it was the 10th anniversary of my Zen 'Taking the Precepts' Jukai ceremony. I had to sew a Rakusu - small cloth panel about 15" x 10" made up off strips of cloth with a silk backing that the teacher stamps and gives you Japanese names. My names were Taizan - peaceful mountain and Doshin - way of trust. Anyway, I was thinking that Zen rituals could be thought of as a kind of ceremonial game. I used to like the chanting, though my intellectual mind thought chanting in Japanese so strange. Kind of like a bit of imported foreign Japanese culture tacked onto our own. I think now it was satisfying my emotional mind. And the bowing and prostrations the bodily/instinctual mind. There was always something so profound but inexpressible in retreats. Silent shuffling dark forms entering the zendo before dawn early mornings and the plaintive lonely bell sounding as we settled for the first zazen session. Crows starting to squawk, magnified by the silence, as dawn approached. edited 10:10, 8 May 2018

Beautiful writing Zen. Thanks so much for this. Your 'name' suites you well. edited 17:29, 8 May 2018

Yesterday during travels, I was attentive not to always be using my i-pod, and I didn't bring my i-pad at all. There were a few nice exchanges, and a few moments when I was able to break a little ice during tense moments when security systems belts were having trouble and people who were not compulsively early like me, were becoming quite anxious.

It was interesting to read reports last night after walking through all the 'games' here. I really wished I knew how to play, just so I could enjoy the excitement at different levels, but honestly even the easy arcade type devices were confusing. Such a strange place - so different from night to day.

Update regarding SMS too. I've had to check into FB a few times, but it seems to finally have lost the pull to keep up that it once had. This is the first time I stopped using it without deactivating. What I've noticed is what I/everyone knew, that SMS can give the illusion of connection in place of actually connecting, but it is still helpful to perform the test, to remember that lesson, going forward. edited 17:41, 8 May 2018

Learned a new word today, while reading Homo Ludens: "contumely". And it's a noun not an adverb! It means an insult, an insolent or arrogant remark, rude, contemptuous, humiliating or scornful behavior. The plural is "contumelies".

But you all knew that, didn't you. ;-)

Huizinga's mention of bragging and boasting contests reminded me that apparently once there was a difference between them. For our distant north-European ancestors, one meant crowing about something one had done, or something one had, or something one was. The other was saying what one was going to do or was capable of. I forget which was which. It was past or future.

And this in turn reminded me that there *was* no future in north-European thought. Not as such. Not as in the past, present, future we're used to today. There was just past and non-past. We see the relics of that today in our language, where English and some other languages do not have a 'real' future tense. Instead we have past and present verb forms, and we create the future by adding an auxiliary such as 'will'. Indeed we can often use the present tense to describe the future. ("The concert starts at 7pm.")

Those distant north-European ancestors saw the past like a huge tapestry with individual threads being lives and events. They didn't so much look to the future and then act in the present. Instead they constantly saw their current actions as new threads being woven into the tapestry of the past. It gave them a sense of belonging and pride, and a sense of perspective. But it also made them very conscious of how their own actions could mar or embellish that tapestry, for themselves and for their children. It is as though they "walked backwards into the past", but by doing so they enhanced their individual and cultural awareness.

On April 14, I jumped out of what was then the 30 Days Project, completing my "groundbreaking" experience and pledging to report on Day 55 about a new venture I wanted to concentrate upon.

So here I am, being vocal again after going underground as a silent listener. My target was a moving one and it took me days to settle on a goal with some precision. I finally resumed a weekly Pilates class I had started participating in last winter and it became my focus.

This weekly 90 minutes of a physical fitness system stretching exercises brought me back to my body in an amazing way, awakening core muscles with a minute clockwork accuracy, connecting me with my emotions and my mental constructions as well.

Today, I stepped out of the class to walk for one hour in the park under a bright sun and new tender pale green buds in the trees, ate a light lunch and took a two hours long nap of which I emerged feeling like a new person.

I will now merge with "the silent shuffling dark forms entering the zendo before dawn" of Zen's entry on Day 55, will keep reading all your contributions with great delight and will be reporting on yet a new adventure on Day 99! So long dear friends <3 edited 21:37, 8 May 2018

Dream this morning.
Entering a meditation class where
Tara Brach is the teacher. It is a warm
Colored room. There are emerald green backpacks
On a shelf. Threads of silver run through
The green. I notice many prayer flags. Students are sitting and
Holding objects on their laps. Shapes with color.

Very colourful Lucinda. Must be Tibetan Buddhists!

What extraordinary meditations here, this day, my today. A page to keep returning to.