2018.04.05 - Day 22

Today I was reminded that one of the gifts I received from being in PaB was a recommendation to read Alice Walker's powerful novel about overcoming patriarchy, "Color Purple" (thanks, Corvi). We never know where our explorations may lead us or when we may come around in full circle again. Is it possible to start at the end when we are going in circles?

@Adams: I prefer to think we're going in spirals, and they just look like circles if you're not looking at them from the right angle.

Back to the one-person food meditation. See the nuts, see the milk. Not very inspired today; some days are like that. Just try not to let that discourage me.

Yesterday went to a march(is 2 blocks a march?) and a bunch of speeches. Was about both economic and Dr. King issues. Of course local concerns, national concerns and today's news came up too.
On the way home the radio had a great piece on Dr. Martin Luther King having gone (with wife) to India to more closely study Mahatma Gandhi more closely. A lot of stuff makes sense now. Google it.

@Adams and @Wester: Cycles are spirals that look like circles from many points of view

I switched to reading another book today: "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. That is a book I am reading as part of an RL study group.

Now that I have established a consistent daily reading practice, I have started paying attention to how I read. Today I deliberately slowed down, trying to take in each thought the author presents, letting it sink in for a moment, and seeing how it connects with my own experience. ... the opposite of speed reading.

:) I really like A New Earth. Most of my friends seem more drawn to The Power of Now, but A New Earth felt to me to have such a wide vision.

As for today's practice, no 3 breaths and no timed meditation. Instead I was in airplanes and airports for about 15 hours, which is a fascinating exploration, being that deeply tired and moving in and out of such stark and fuzzy transition spaces.

I want to write about the Amsterdam adventure, but first, sleep.

@wester and @riddle - I stand corrected.
@Eliza - yikes.

A phone call yesterday. From someone of my past I have been very close to but haven't seen for decades. Had just walked for two hours in the park in a fierce wind at the end of the afternoon, emptying my mind of the intense concentration of the day, working on some writing. I feel so calm as I listen to nonsense from a deranged mind with a tenderness I can't quite understand. For almost one hour, I laugh to stupid jokes and flow with the rambling conversation, aware of the underlying pain I sense underneath the thin film of irrationality. Once in a while, some flash of a clarity of mind pierce the dark armour of callousness.

At some point, I become aware of the tension in my whole body. I recognize the familiar grip it took me so long to break away from. I listen to my heart though and keep looking for the human being behind the autistic rude coughing into the telephone.

Then I wake up from the hypnotic trance and see the emotional crevice I'm about
to fall into.

Am I strong enough to break new ground or will I be carried away by the whirlwind, falling into the ruts of the past? I'm afraid my unconscious is feeding on this pain.

My joyful nature is such precious gift, I want to protect it from black holes like this.

@AContinuingConversation - not correcting :( was noting the different points of view that can happen at the same moments. Our observations are all valid.
Ever watch children get so 'wound up' that they literally 'spin' in circles.
Ever watch somebody spiral in or out.
Ever watch the leaves change color, again.

@AirplaneMeditators - A monk came onboard and sat in the very next seat. Thought that this will be so great. Five hours to ask all those questions, really hope he speaks English. He said Hello, settled into the seat, buckled up and went deeply silently away. Stayed calm and vacant for the entire trip.

@Riddle I love this story so much. :)