2018.06.02 - Day 80

Busy today. Spent a long time trying to download versions of Dragon voice recognition software but, though I must have bought at least 6 versions of the software they won’t let me download a version for my little laptop. I have a version on disc but that doesn’t seem to work using a DVD drive I bought for Macs. Sigh…

‘The idea that we need a teacher to awaken evokes strong resistance from the students every time. They frequently get so caught up in this resistance that it blocks their access to other ideas of Gurdjieff’s.’

Tart, Charles T.. Waking Up: Overcoming the Obstacles to Human Potential (Kindle Locations 4741-4743). Fearless Books. Kindle Edition.

I think this is an important point. Sometimes I am so gullible with spiritual teachings. Other times my philosophical critical brain kicks in and, let’s face it, this stuff isn’t entirely accessible to left-brain rationality. I think that reading and listening to many teachers over the years has improved my BS detector  The gold nuggets of good teachings stay in the pan and the others get washed away.

Have found myself thinking (and smiling) about Alma's dream a few times today. That's the kind of dream I call an insight dream, which isn't necessarily lucid but shows you something about yourself or a situation. Or at least we don't call those lucid but, they seem to open a window to a clear(er?) way of mind. Sometimes I wonder if I don't go lucid more often in dreams, because these are the sorts of dreams that have more often brought answers or a slight shift in my way of looking at something.

Connected with the value of insight, teachers and teachings, I'm not sure if it is age or stage of practice (suppose it doesn't matter) but, the level of insight in teachings used to be the main thing I would pursue in readings or teachers, also in what I aspired to sort of bring forth myself. But when all is said and done, the real value is 'the life', 'the presence', rather than flawlessness of teachings or secret keys. I mean, those matter very much to me, but it is possible to be very insightful without expressing Tao. We have access to so much now, which is amazing, but there are those few who are so clearly 'living it all out' that become bridges. [That doesn't say all I mean to but will do for now!]

I have both the Homo Ludens and Charles Tart 'Waking Up' books now, but will likely not get to them until after 99 Days. Reading along is prep work! Otherwise, no deliberate progress with unlearning isolation. Slept and woke with a terrible sore throat and am sort of amazed so much happened on a day that I thought would be not much. :) edited 01:31, 3 Jun 2018

I smiled as I read Zen's account of refining his BS detector. (Warning: massive stereotyping follows.) This strikes me as a quintessential trait of the inhabitants of those islands, that somehow combines a doggedness, playfulness and incorrigible cynicism - a mix I don't find here so much. I wondered if he might be persuaded to come and teach Americans how to do the same! But then I realized that they'd have to want to do it, and therein lies the problem. There's comfort in believing in the fairytale, and the citizens of my adopted homeland have a penchant for not only dreaming dreams, but for manifesting them and believing in their own creations - as well as the creations of others.

In some ways there are big cultural and temperamental differences between the two sides of the Atlantic. But hey, vive la différence! (I haven't stopped stereotyping yet, by the way.) America is my home now, Colorado in particular, but I do sometimes miss the old country, and probably Glasgow in Scotland more than anywhere, despite its climate. This was reinforced a few nights ago when I watched how three Scottish artists, and a community, celebrated the 75th birthday of comedian Billy Connolly. If you have an hour to spare, it's here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCjh7rN_KCM

Pontificating over. Quite a varied day. A surprisingly (to me) interesting group meditation session (during which Socrates was the unexpected personification of the answerer to my questions - go figure!). Visits to several art galleries. As suggested on day 74, I'm continuing to be bowled over by how good so much of the art is now in Second Life, both in its artistic conception and its implementation. A party, interrupted by a connection failure, and a pavilion session were in there too. More reading of Homo Ludens. And writing up another poem - that's eight so far, plus a couple of short stories, in the last eight days.

Busy, busy, busy. (A Bokononist saying, "Cat's Cradle," Kurt Vonnegut.)