2018.05.05 - Day 52

After having my week's supply of meals delivered went over to Sainsburys and had 'Bite-sized' breakfast which will last me all day. Veggie sausage, scrambled egg, beans, hash brown and slice of seeded bread toast with coffee. Then I pottered around getting bits and pieces of groceries and chatting to people I ran into about Man United's poor performance last night etc. :( Funny how much I enjoy these seemingly trivial things. As my life horizons contract geographically, little acts and happenings gain so much more significance and become filled with enjoyment.

Come to conclusion I have no idea what 'self' is. Ah, now you've got it, a Zen master would exclaim :)

Had a dream about being in an art class and looking at a painting in a book that had a cow with its body covered in coloured textures. Gets out paints :)

:))Zen.I love imagining the cow.

/me hopes that we'll get to see the dream cow. :)

A bit too busy and busy-minded the last few days. Mostly the latter... hurrying through things that don't need to be hurried through, just because my mind is flitting about this way and that, following every stick. :) Needlessly draining. When I ask myself why, it presses into the isolation question. "What are you avoiding?" The micro and macro barriers are often up because of a 'flash run through' of all the ways a situation or conversation might develop, and there is something in there I don't want to get to. Some question I don't have an answer for.

I have seen myself and others feed time and freedom and lightness to a situation and it go in surprising directions. I've seen it millions of times, have appreciated and written and wondered at the openness and enoughness always available. So when will this seeming default fall away? Maybe I'm trying to hurry that too. ;-) edited 22:15, 5 May 2018

Eliza - I like to think that one trait of a really good engineer is the ability to take ideas and simulate them in mental reality, letting them progress in many different forms and finding their outcomes, strengths and weaknesses. It was said that Charles Babbage could build a mechanical engine in his head and run it for thousands of hours to check where the points of wear would be. I used to scoff at that ridiculous notion - until I found I could do it myself.

The danger of being able to do this mental simulation, whether extended or as a "flash run through", is that it can make you overcautious. At best it can give you a reputation for pointing out the weaknesses in other people's ideas - though why they kept giving me substandard ideas, I've no idea! ;)

Ever thought of a job in engineering? ;) I jest, but actually I've seen this ability in many creative people in different disciplines, both artistic and scientific. And to be serious, this ability is a powerful and useful mental tool. The trick is to do it only when you want to do it!

Meanwhile, I took Homo Ludens to the bath tub to continue reading about culture arises in the form of play and how it is played from the very beginning, the play-element often later receding into the background or being absorbed into the sacred. It was a wonderfully warm bath and very relaxing, and after two pages I instead had a nice long sleep. :))

Now that is the way to do a Saturday. :)

You know, when I began to write my note here today it was a bit of a struggle. I was feeling somewhat discouraged in general, but by the time I finished writing already there was more lightness, less impatience for results. I remember the "seeing is enough" discussions (another 'back in the day' thing) and at the time, felt "YES!" By now I (think that I) still see a lot of things I've seen. >giggles<

After I wrote here, I opened the well-being course, and the technique she began describing, synchronistically enough, was called "mental contrasting". It has to do with goal setting, and the benefit of detailed visioning *coupled with* running through what might get in the way. I agree that both are needed, but there is another step ... the 'act of' releasing result/dropping attachment, that, now that you remind again Storm, could well be called (a) PLAY. edited 23:53, 5 May 2018

Hope Zen sees the Picture.
John Cerney is an artist. There are several articles about his works on the Internet.
This cow and calf are off the side of Highway 101 near Prunedale, CA.
The cow stands about 10 feet tall.
http://www.johncerneymurals.com/projects.html