The Guardian for this meeting was Lucinda Lavender. The comments are by Lucinda Lavender. Attending were Korel Laloix and Foxtree Gorbunov.

Korel Laloix: Great... I just have not been on in a bit.
Foxtree Gorbunov: I know they recorded
Foxtree Gorbunov: put what others say on some web sight.
Foxtree Gorbunov: I have little to hide
Korel Laloix: There is frighteningly too much infor in there about me.
Korel Laloix: But considering what is else on the web, I am not realy worried about it.
Foxtree Gorbunov: We are one grain of sand on a very big beach
Korel Laloix: True... but we should not undervalue ourselves with that idea though.
Korel Laloix: Do you attend other chat groups?
Foxtree Gorbunov: Undervalue? Sometimes I think I have not real value.
Foxtree Gorbunov: I should, but
Foxtree Gorbunov: time gets in the way
Foxtree Gorbunov: Work
Foxtree Gorbunov: gets in the way
Korel Laloix: We all have value.. jsut like a grain of sand... you move it fast enough it can clean.... or put it under pressure and it becomes stone.. or heat it becomes glass.
Korel Laloix: Work and school and all that for sure interfears with SL.. darn it... smiles
Foxtree Gorbunov: I think that is one of the reason I like being a furry....I dislike the skin I am in
Foxtree Gorbunov: I wish I was a clever fox. Full of tricks
Korel Laloix: Never been the furry thing....
Korel Laloix: But have had a few different AVs.
Korel Laloix: Now in a phase of making my AV as close to me RL as I acn.
Korel Laloix: can.
Korel Laloix: I had rather horrid self image phases RL whre I had very different SL AVs.
--BELL--

Foxtree Gorbunov: so you have strate hair in real life?
Foxtree Gorbunov: How do you do Lucinda
Korel Laloix: Very straight and getting long.
Lucinda Lavender: Hello Foxtree and Korel...
Korel Laloix: Osiyo
Lucinda Lavender: where are all the pillows?
Foxtree Gorbunov: They should show up soon
Korel Laloix: Just slow I think.
Foxtree Gorbunov: you must me laging a little
Korel Laloix: I am so lagged that I unrezz everything anyway once I am positioned in a sim.
Lucinda Lavender: oops
Foxtree Gorbunov: What sort of work do you do Korel
Korel Laloix: I do the reporting for a medical lab.
Lucinda Lavender: I do not mean to put my back to you all...
Korel Laloix: So if we get a confirmed case of certain ilnesses we have to report those to various agencies.
Lucinda Lavender: just have a time...
Korel Laloix: It is a nice back... smiles
Lucinda Lavender: aw thanks
Foxtree Gorbunov: I am enjoying the view
Lucinda Lavender: I claimed the session. So Foxtree have you been here before and know that our conversation is placed on a website
Lucinda Lavender: ...brb I have to do a kitchen activity for a moment
Korel Laloix: Kitchen activity?
Korel Laloix: Do tell please.
Lucinda Lavender: skewer the meat
Lucinda Lavender: for bbq
Foxtree Gorbunov: well....a gal got to eat
Lucinda Lavender: I hope it is ok to put your words on the wiki Foxtree
Foxtree Gorbunov: We were just talking about that.
Foxtree Gorbunov: I have nothing to hid
Foxtree Gorbunov: other than poor spelling
Korel Laloix: That sounds lovely... but I am out of carnivor instincts after the last couple of days...
Foxtree Gorbunov: The truth is: I only come to SL, when I am feeling lonely and sad
Korel Laloix: Understandable.
Korel Laloix: Easy to feel that way on weekends.. long weekends especially...
Foxtree Gorbunov: If someone wants to recorded that sort of stuff....then let them have it
Korel Laloix: Sorry you are feeling that way.
Foxtree Gorbunov: I sure it is my own falt
Korel Laloix: There are always causes.
Korel Laloix: Just need to find you a hoby... smiles
Foxtree Gorbunov: *smile*
Foxtree Gorbunov: That is a nice thing to say Korel, And I thank you for saying that
Korel Laloix: I have a bad issue with over commiting myself.... and you can get lonely with too many people around.
Foxtree Gorbunov: But the truth is, something is deep wrong with me.
Korel Laloix: No time to really connect with the people you really care about.
Foxtree Gorbunov: I am not sure it can ever be fix
Korel Laloix: I think everyone can be sorted out to an extent..... I am a perfect example.
Foxtree Gorbunov: Do you have a family?
Korel Laloix: I had some bad times.. but have made a lot of progress.
Korel Laloix: Sort of...
Lucinda Lavender: I am back...
Foxtree Gorbunov: *smile*
Korel Laloix: Not in the traditional pattern though.
Lucinda Lavender: :)
Korel Laloix: Welcome back.
Lucinda Lavender: thanks
Lucinda Lavender: carry on...
--BELL--

Foxtree Gorbunov: My first wife die some years ago
Foxtree Gorbunov: and I never got over the loss
Korel Laloix: Sorry to hear about that.
Korel Laloix: I can imagine.
Korel Laloix: But I have to say, I have never lost anyone close to me... yet.
Korel Laloix: Must be a heavy burden to bare.
Lucinda Lavender: yes...
Foxtree Gorbunov: My second wife: ran off with another man
Foxtree Gorbunov: Who got her pregent
Korel Laloix: That sort of stuff is not good ever.
Lucinda Lavender: very hard
Korel Laloix: Sounds complicated...
Foxtree Gorbunov: and then took off on her. So, I took her back
Korel Laloix: That was good of you.
Foxtree Gorbunov: Try to be a good farther.
Foxtree Gorbunov: He got killed in the war.
Foxtree Gorbunov: Now she hates me for getting her child killed
Lucinda Lavender: hmmm...hard to carry on.
Foxtree Gorbunov: I went to gulf one. To old and to fat for gulf two
Korel Laloix: That sounds like something you need to both go see a counselor for..... they do work.. trust me I know.
Lucinda Lavender: :)
Foxtree Gorbunov: Have you ever seen a VA counselor?
Korel Laloix: Or a vicar if that is your way.
Korel Laloix: No.. I tried to join the military but was medicaled out.
Lucinda Lavender: I must go tend the food...I will post this session tho...
Foxtree Gorbunov: Truth is, I am old Navy cook.
Lucinda Lavender: stay well all...
Korel Laloix: Thanks Lu... take care... happy cooking.
Lucinda Lavender: :)
Lucinda Lavender: hopes for the best...
Korel Laloix: Does the Navy make cooks?
Korel Laloix: Like send you to schools?
Foxtree Gorbunov: They make C.S. colanary Sec.
Foxtree Gorbunov: I became a teacher of food
Korel Laloix: That sounds fun.
Korel Laloix: My process of learning to cook was a bit odd.
Foxtree Gorbunov: Good times
Foxtree Gorbunov: family cooking?
Korel Laloix: I really grew up alone... so I learned to cook from my first girlfriend's mother.
Korel Laloix: She really did not care for me, but liked to teach cooking.
Foxtree Gorbunov: Sorry...... I know I am out of bounds...but are you a woman?
Korel Laloix: Yes... smiles... one of the 29 RL lesbians in SL...
Korel Laloix: lol
Foxtree Gorbunov: okay....
Foxtree Gorbunov: so, girlfriend mom was not happy with you..
Korel Laloix: Well, if your MD 34 year old daughter was dating a 20year old college sophmore.... who was also a woman.... I think most would be a bit unsure.
Korel Laloix smiles
Foxtree Gorbunov: Thinking about it...Mothers want there child to be happy....If you were happy with each other, mother shoulc not have gotten in the way.
Korel Laloix: Sure... but she is continental Indian.... and they view things a bit differently.
--BELL--

Foxtree Gorbunov: Continental?
Foxtree Gorbunov: That is in the Ohio?
Korel Laloix: I mean Asian Indian.
Korel Laloix: Not sure what that term means really.
Foxtree Gorbunov: The Contiental Trabe of Ohio are Ameracan Indians that were on the Union side of the the U.S. Civil War.
Korel Laloix: But I have to make the difference as I am First AMerican.
Foxtree Gorbunov: Now. I am at a loss for words.
Korel Laloix: Why?
Foxtree Gorbunov: do not know
Korel Laloix: Not that you have to say anything.... smiles
Foxtree Gorbunov: part of me feels like I just over steep
Lucinda Lavender: back...
Korel Laloix: over steep?
Foxtree Gorbunov: To much information at one time
Lucinda Lavender: ah...
Lucinda Lavender: understood...overstepped you mean.
Foxtree Gorbunov: That would be it.
Lucinda Lavender: :))
Korel Laloix: Oh OK...
Korel Laloix: Sorry to overload.
Foxtree Gorbunov: I wanted to know and got what I asked for
Lucinda Lavender: :)) we are an understanding community here I would say
Korel Laloix: But sometimes hard to understand... smiles
Lucinda Lavender: we are often looking at how we experience life...our perception of experience
Foxtree Gorbunov: I have sort of wanted to know this for a long time....Not being gay and all.... Do lesbeons just find men ugly?
Lucinda Lavender: and where someone comes from or how we learned to cook can come into the conversation.
Korel Laloix: lmbo....
Korel Laloix: Some are... smiles
Korel Laloix: The real thing though is...
Korel Laloix: Who I emotionally connect with... the physical part is secondary.
Lucinda Lavender: imbo means?
Korel Laloix: laughing my but off
Lucinda Lavender: oh! was imagining ...in my ? opinion...
Lucinda Lavender: :)
Korel Laloix: No worries.
Foxtree Gorbunov: How do you think bi people see the world?
Korel Laloix: I guess what it comes down to is that I have not found a guy that can really engage my mind and heart and soul...... so until one manages to do that... he has no chance of engaging my body or libido.
Korel Laloix: If that makes sense.
Korel Laloix: It is sort of weird.. different types I have as friends.
Korel Laloix: But the real orientation lies with the emotional engagement I think.
Korel Laloix: Difficult topic really.
Lucinda Lavender: I think I get what you are saying.
--BELL--

Korel Laloix: I don't date bi girls though... recipe for a heart ache...but when I was sexually active.. good fun.
Foxtree Gorbunov: You are not sexually active now?
Korel Laloix: As a matter of my Faith I try not to... but I am also in a relationship that I think may be heading toward permenance... and I don';t want to mess it up with sex.
Lucinda Lavender: brought my own rock to sit on...
Lucinda Lavender: nice that you have that Korel
Foxtree Gorbunov: Maybe that is were I just do not understand... I thought sex was ment to bring new life into the world with grate joy. not something that mess stuff up
Korel Laloix: A very transformative influence in my life.
Korel Laloix: Even Cosmo magazine says hold off on sex as long as possible... smiles
Lucinda Lavender: giving it all time to make sense
Foxtree Gorbunov: The only thing that jumps to my mind is my first wife and how I miss her.
Korel Laloix: understandable.
Korel Laloix: So sorry for your loss.
Foxtree Gorbunov: People told me to move on
Foxtree Gorbunov: so I move on
Foxtree Gorbunov: now I still feel stuck
Korel Laloix: Hard to sort out those feelings.
Korel Laloix: Relationships can be so freeing or so confining.
Lucinda Lavender: do you remember dreams foxtree
Lucinda Lavender: ?
Foxtree Gorbunov: I remember three.
Lucinda Lavender: really!...
Foxtree Gorbunov: yes
Lucinda Lavender: sometimes they bring an idea of a pathway I fine
Lucinda Lavender: find
Lucinda Lavender: what is past or pressent or future
Lucinda Lavender: or what is healing
Lucinda Lavender: especially with trauma
Lucinda Lavender: there can be healing
Lucinda Lavender: in my experience
Foxtree Gorbunov: The one I hate: I dream it ws 1938 or 39. The Nazi were kill all the jews and I was a jew.
Korel Laloix: OUch.
Lucinda Lavender: so ...witnessing the pain of others
Lucinda Lavender: any recent dreams?
Lucinda Lavender: that might speak to the stuckness
--BELL--

Foxtree Gorbunov: I think it was, what they call a waking dream. I was in bed and saw three 'people' standing over me. Looking down at me. they were darker that the night so I could see them. I felt sure they were going to hurt me.
Foxtree Gorbunov: I could not move
Foxtree Gorbunov: I hear that this happen form time to time
Lucinda Lavender: I think in certain parts of the night /sleep cycle...one is more likely to feel that in ability to move...
Foxtree Gorbunov: still scary
Lucinda Lavender: so as you go to sleep you could say to the universe that you have only the desire to work for good...so you wish to be kept safe and that if there is anything to learn you are open
Lucinda Lavender: yes scary
Lucinda Lavender: I might try that...if I was feeling scared
Foxtree Gorbunov: I need to think about all the things
Lucinda Lavender: I guess I have to go now...i wish you all a peaceful sleep
Foxtree Gorbunov: But, as do i
Korel Laloix: Take care all.. smiles
Korel Laloix: Thanks for the chat.
Foxtree Gorbunov: good night
Lucinda Lavender: :)
Korel Laloix: Ciao
Lucinda Lavender: thank you...
Lucinda Lavender: ciao