2013.07.12 01:00 - Finding the Sunrise

eliza posted this session from the autolistener database.

[01:05] Wol Euler: hello Asahi, have you been here before?
[01:05] ikumiasahi Resident: Hello Wol :)
[01:05] ikumiasahi Resident: Yes

[01:05] Wol Euler: oh wow, two days old :) welcome to Second Life
[01:06] Wol Euler smiles.
[01:07] ikumiasahi Resident: Yes, it's two days since I made this account :)
[01:08] Wol Euler grins.
[01:08] Wol Euler: I guessed that you had to be an alt :)
[01:08] Wol Euler: no need to say whose
[01:08] Wol Euler: unless you wish to
[01:08] ikumiasahi Resident: no, this is the only account I have. :)
[01:08] Wol Euler: oh, that surprises me

[01:08] Wol Euler: two-day-olds usually don't have the patience or the calm to sit at a meditation place :)
[01:09] ikumiasahi Resident: I do have a couple of years of SL experience though ;)
[01:09] Wol Euler: aha!
[01:09] Wol Euler grins.
[01:09] Wol Euler: well, as I said there's no need to go into details
[01:09] Wol Euler: unless you wish to

[01:11] ikumiasahi Resident: Mornings are silent as usual :)
[01:11] Wol Euler nods.
[01:11] Wol Euler: they usually are, yes, apart from a few insomniacs and the odd European who isn't at work yet
[01:11] Wol Euler points at self.
[01:12] ikumiasahi Resident: Yes :)
[01:12] Wol Euler: weekends are better attended
[01:12] ikumiasahi Resident: I like the prim-based timetable :) How long has it been there?
[01:12] Wol Euler: huh, good question. Perhaps a year already?
[01:13] Wol Euler: I really don't know
[01:13] ikumiasahi Resident: I was surprised this place still looks pretty much the same :)
[01:14] Wol Euler: yeah, only the inhabitants change
[01:14] Wol Euler: and even some of them don't :)

[01:15] ikumiasahi Resident: Hello Catrina :)
[01:16] Catrinamonblue Resident: Hi Asahi, Wol :)
[01:16] Wol Euler: hello catrina
[01:16] Wol Euler: any good dawn photos today? :)
[01:17] Catrinamonblue Resident: not yet but will be going out shortly to see :)
[01:17] Wol Euler smiles.
[01:18] Catrinamonblue Resident: It's still pretty dark outside yet, I'm up a bit earlier than usual today

[01:19] Wol Euler: I used to get up early, but then I discovered SL.
[01:19] Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
[01:19] Wol Euler: and started staying up later and later to talk to people in North America
[01:19] Catrinamonblue Resident: big smiles

[01:24] Wol Euler: I'm in a really good mood this morning, and unable to explain why :)
[01:25] Wol Euler: perhaps it's the weather, it is delightfully cool today with a gentle breeze
[01:25] ikumiasahi Resident: You're present :)
[01:25] Wol Euler: the windows are open, I'm listening to the swifts calling, while the breeze tickles my toes
[01:25] Wol Euler smiles.
[01:26] Catrinamonblue Resident: could be, I do find that they weather plays a part in how I feel, though getting up for my dawn walks this past bit has helped me tremendously with my mood

[01:26] Wol Euler: it started well, I had such a pleasant meditation this morning that I reset the timer and gave myself an extra five minutes
[01:26] Catrinamonblue Resident: :)
[01:26] ikumiasahi Resident: I think good mood is the natural mood for humans. It takes effort to stop being in a good mood.
[01:26] Wol Euler: true
[01:27] Wol Euler: effort or externally-applied force
[01:27] Wol Euler: which I guess is also effort, just not one's own :)
[01:27] Catrinamonblue Resident: nods
[01:28] ikumiasahi Resident: it still requires ones own effort too. Effort to resist the existence of the externally applied force.
[01:28] Wol Euler nods.
[01:28] Wol Euler: if only positivity were as easy as negativity ....
[01:29] Wol Euler: going along with somebody else's bad vibe seems to take no effort
[01:30] ikumiasahi Resident: We're so used to that that we simply don't notice that effort anymore.
[01:31] Wol Euler: perhaps, yes
[01:32] Wol Euler: or "going along with" seems free, but contradicting has a social cost

[01:32] ikumiasahi Resident: I don't think those two are the only options
[01:32] Wol Euler: not suggesting they are :)
[01:33] Wol Euler: what else do you see?
[01:34] ikumiasahi Resident: You could just listen as well... Well, I suppose you could argue this goes under "going along with".
[01:34] Catrinamonblue Resident: active listening and going along with are two different things in my mind
[01:34] Catrinamonblue Resident: the first is compassionate the second is not
[01:34] Wol Euler nods.
[01:36] Catrinamonblue Resident: active listening does not mean personally taking on the others negativity, it's a choice you make I think
[01:36] Wol Euler: definitely a choice, yes; but it seems to me the default choice
[01:37] Catrinamonblue Resident: maybe
[01:37] ikumiasahi Resident: I think it's the choice that most people have been conditioned to take.
[01:37] Catrinamonblue Resident: nods

[01:37] Wol Euler: after so many decades of life and years of meditation, I still find it easy to get sucked into mirroring others' negativity
[01:38] ikumiasahi Resident: I think the most important step is to realize that it actually is a choice.
[01:38] Catrinamonblue Resident: yes
[01:38] Wol Euler nods.

[01:39] Catrinamonblue Resident: and on that note the sky is starting to lighten so I'll bid you all good morning and go find the sunrise :)
[01:39] ikumiasahi Resident: have fun :)
[01:39] Wol Euler: hehehe
[01:39] Wol Euler: enjoy, catrina
[01:39] Catrinamonblue Resident: I will thanks :)
[01:40] ikumiasahi Resident: I think the crucial thing in not going along with negativity is where your focus is. Is it on the other person's story or the other person.
[01:41] ikumiasahi Resident: or even, yourself
[01:41] Wol Euler listens.

[01:42] ikumiasahi Resident: If you focus on the story, it can easily drink all your focus. Especially if you make judgements on it.
[01:42] Wol Euler: true
[01:43] ikumiasahi Resident: However, if you stay centered on yourself, the negativity flutters around but there's space all around it.
[01:44] Wol Euler: I was thinking of a quite specific and recurring case, actually. A work colleague whose "default setting" is that life is being unfair to her
[01:44] Wol Euler: and as a result spends more time deflecting imaginary blame than actually working
[01:44] ikumiasahi Resident: victim identity then.
[01:44] Wol Euler: yep

[01:46] Wol Euler: I'm learning not to respond to the emotion of that, to ignore her interpretation and only comment on the fact
[01:46] Wol Euler: it sometimes calms her down
[01:47] Wol Euler: but in a way I believe she feels comfortable in her anger and fear
[01:47] ikumiasahi Resident: You're staying present with her. It helps her stop identifying with the painbody.

[01:48] Wol Euler: ah :) it gains from careful phrasing :)
[01:48] ikumiasahi Resident: Sorry?
[01:48] Wol Euler: your comment brought clarity to me
[01:49] Wol Euler: tahnk you
[01:49] ikumiasahi Resident smiles.
[01:51] Wol Euler makes a note to look up "painbody"
[01:51] ikumiasahi Resident: It's a Buddhist term.
[01:51] ikumiasahi Resident: Eckhart Tolle also makes heavy use of it.
[01:51] Wol Euler nods thoughtfully
[01:52] ikumiasahi Resident: I've been listening to Tolle's audiobooks a lot recently.
[01:52] Wol Euler: say more?
[01:53] ikumiasahi Resident: More specifically, The Power of Now and the continuation A New Earth
[01:53] Wol Euler listens.
[01:54] ikumiasahi Resident: In the audiobooks, the speaker is Tolle himself.
[01:54] ikumiasahi Resident: I'd just read the text versions if that wasn't the case :)
[01:54] Wol Euler: ah :)

[01:55] Wol Euler: I have to admit that I don't know much about him. I know the name, which comes up often
[01:55] ikumiasahi Resident: For me, his message has been one of them most useful.
[01:56] ikumiasahi Resident: Although, I needed to use a method called The Lefkoe Method before I started to really "get" what he's speaking about.
[01:56] Wol Euler listens.
[01:57] ikumiasahi Resident: The Lefkoe Method is a method for eliminating negative beliefs one has about themselves.
[01:57] Wol Euler: ah!
[01:57] ikumiasahi Resident: Works pretty well :)
[01:58] Wol Euler makes a note.
[01:59] ikumiasahi Resident: There's this series of videos by Morty Lefkoe by the name of "Natural Confidence" that walks the listener through the process of eliminating 19 beliefs and 4 conditionings.
[01:59] Wol Euler makes yet another note.
[01:59] ikumiasahi Resident: After doing those, the next time I started listening to The Power of Now, things just clicked.
[02:00] Wol Euler smiles.
[02:02] Wol Euler looks at the clock and sighs. I'm afraid I will have to get ready for work now, Asahi.
[02:03] ikumiasahi Resident: Have a great day :)
[02:03] Wol Euler: it was nice meeting you, I hope you'll come back now that you've found us
[02:03] Wol Euler: and enjoy your Second Life!
[02:03] ikumiasahi Resident: I think I will be visiting every once in a while :)
[02:03] Wol Euler smiles.
[02:03] Wol Euler: bye for now