2009.11.01 19:00 - Offensiveness

The Guardian for this meeting was stevenaia Michinaga. The comments are by stevenaia Michinaga.

 

A conversation with Mary Korpov  and Archmage Atlantis

 

stevenaia Michinaga: hello Mary
Mary Korpov: hi
Mary Korpov: Big turnout
stevenaia Michinaga: I expect a wonderful attendance
stevenaia Michinaga: so I paced up the extrainious cushions
stevenaia Michinaga: packed
Mary Korpov: So normally Sunday evenings have low attendance?
stevenaia Michinaga: it's random, from me to 6 or more sometimes, I figured it will take a bit for the EU crowd to figure out the time change
stevenaia Michinaga: time
Mary Korpov: I'm only half here, anyway. The World Series is on TV
stevenaia Michinaga: who's winning
Mary Korpov: Yankees, alas
Mary Korpov: 4-2 in the 5th
stevenaia Michinaga: I am right between Philly and NYC
stevenaia Michinaga: I go both ways
Mary Korpov: I'm in Boston, so there is only one choice
stevenaia Michinaga: I'll try not to get to distracting tonight :)
stevenaia Michinaga: just let me know when the pillies even things up
stevenaia Michinaga: :)
Mary Korpov: The handsome men in their uniforms are already distracting enough
stevenaia Michinaga: I leave that to you
stevenaia Michinaga: I'll
Mary Korpov: ok
stevenaia Michinaga: hello Arch, love your entry

Archmage Atlantis enters on a horse

Archmage Atlantis: I am what i am
Mary Korpov: And what would that be?
stevenaia Michinaga: aren;t we all
Archmage Atlantis: Old broadway tune
Mary Korpov: You're an old broadway tune?
stevenaia Michinaga: thought that was a quote from Popeye the Sailor
Archmage Atlantis: Ah, stolen by la cage
Mary Korpov: Yes, Popeye does say that a lot
Archmage Atlantis: Yes you are correct
stevenaia Michinaga: perhaps he says "I yam what I yam"
Mary Korpov: Sounds right
stevenaia Michinaga: would you like to join us Arch or happy on your horse and lights
Mary Korpov: Perhaps he'd rather stay on his high horse
Archmage Atlantis: I am here
stevenaia Michinaga: :)
Archmage Atlantis: Mary is correct btw
stevenaia Michinaga: well I tried to eliminate any pillow talk tonight

A reference to last sunday's conversation, which actually turns up later in the meeting

Mary Korpov: Or would it be his hobby horse?
Archmage Atlantis: I am on a high horse
Mary Korpov: Now I seem to be looking at a horses ass
stevenaia Michinaga: looking for a high horse, no offence intended

Archmage Atlantis: You know I was told by a friend that I offend others
Mary Korpov: Do you offend them often?
Archmage Atlantis: It seems so
Mary Korpov: Perhaps if you bathed more frequently
stevenaia Michinaga: is that your intention?

--BELL--

Archmage Atlantis: There is no smell here in SL
Mary Korpov: I couldn't tell if you offend them in RL or SL
Mary Korpov: You do seem to like attention
stevenaia Michinaga: shall we talk about ..offensiveness?
Mary Korpov: Or perhaps defensiveness, too?
stevenaia Michinaga: I'd be interested in offensive intentions
stevenaia Michinaga: and what you ahve to say about them and your friend
Mary Korpov: That was a good question about wheter or not Arch wanted to offend others. Some people do.
stevenaia Michinaga: and if a friend told him he was, it would seem his friend was not offended but only wished to express the sence of Arch's result
stevenaia Michinaga: care to comment Arch?
Archmage Atlantis: You and mary seem to be carrying on this conversation quite well, I will listen
Mary Korpov: Well, that seems rather pointless, since you brought the issue up
Mary Korpov: Why do your friends think you offend people?
Archmage Atlantis: I do not know
Mary Korpov: They didn't tell you what it is that you do that is offensive?
Archmage Atlantis: they say I push too hard
Mary Korpov: Push what too hard?
Mary Korpov: Your opinions?
stevenaia Michinaga: I often find out people are offensive from other people as I do not take offense easily due to the intentions of others
Archmage Atlantis: Well I allowed opinions am I not?
Mary Korpov: I'm not taking a position. I was asking what it is that they find offensive and what it is that you push to much on. Don't get defensive.
Archmage Atlantis: I am not defensive, I rode in on a horse
Archmage Atlantis: I admire women who are strong
Mary Korpov: Well, in general, my experience in talking with you Arch is that you are evasive
Mary Korpov: You rarely answer a direct question
stevenaia Michinaga: your friend is a woman?
Archmage Atlantis: e is both
stevenaia Michinaga: nods
Mary Korpov: How can you be both a man and a woman?
stevenaia Michinaga: raises hand, I have been both in SL
Mary Korpov: Well, that is different. You still are whatever you are in RL, regardless of your avatar
Archmage Atlantis: The male seahorse bears the children
stevenaia Michinaga: but that;s another topic :)
Mary Korpov: And that, Arch, was a pointless comment
stevenaia Michinaga: I guess , to get specific, what did your fiend say to you about your offensive behavior/comment/ or whatever it was?
Archmage Atlantis: wow i am angry in rl
Mary Korpov: THat's what you were told?
Archmage Atlantis: no sister it is what i am
Archmage Atlantis: at this point
stevenaia Michinaga: aww, yam what I yam
Mary Korpov: I think incoherent would be much more descriptive than offensive
Archmage Atlantis: are you channeling Ayn Rand sister
Mary Korpov: Arch, why don't you eer answer quesitons directly?
Mary Korpov: Who is Ayn Rand? And I'm not your sister.
stevenaia Michinaga: perhaps answering questions will defuse anger

--BELL--

Mary Korpov: I'm not convinced that Arch just doesn't get a kick out of playing head games with people in SL
stevenaia Michinaga: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ayn_Rand
Archmage Atlantis: I have answered every question I have been asked
Mary Korpov: Not in a way that makes any sense at all
Mary Korpov: If I ask you something like, "what time is it" you will answer with something like "grapefruit"
stevenaia Michinaga: part of PaB is about what you see, whoever is speaking, and I am just trying to understand, Arch
Archmage Atlantis: A grapefruit is sometimes sour
Mary Korpov: I am, too, but I can't make sense of the answers
Mary Korpov: No shit
stevenaia Michinaga: metaphors can be elusive to some
stevenaia Michinaga: to paraphrase Mary
Mary Korpov: Good metahpors are fine, but these don't make much sense
Mary Korpov: I can't even tell that they are metaphors. In general, they seem like nonsense

Fox Monacular joins us for a short time

stevenaia Michinaga: hello Fox
stevenaia Michinaga: still wearing your bat wings after the holiday?
Fox Monacular: :)
Fox Monacular: hello Steve, Mary, Arch
Mary Korpov: hi
Archmage Atlantis: This circle has become small
stevenaia Michinaga: Head games cannot be played by one person (it takes at least 2)
Fox Monacular: I can't stay long, boyfriend gives bath to baby:)
stevenaia Michinaga: the same it true for an offensive comment
Mary Korpov: Sor of, Steve. But they can be played with one person imposing them with someone who does not want to participate or who is not clear that the game is being played
Fox Monacular: this is more symmetrical
Mary Korpov: Head games are not symmetrical
Mary Korpov: Steve do you really think it takes two people to engage in head games?
stevenaia Michinaga: at least 2
Archmage Atlantis: used all my horses up
Mary Korpov: By that do you mean two or more willing people?
Mary Korpov: I see head games as a sort of aggression.
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, and to not fight back makes it one hand clapping of sorts
Mary Korpov: When I become convinced that someone is playing them with me, I promptly quite the game
Mary Korpov: quit, that is
Fox Monacular: be back in 5 min
Mary Korpov: And in general I lose any respect I might have had for the person
stevenaia Michinaga: right, game over
stevenaia Michinaga: it makes for a game of one to observe
stevenaia Michinaga: shadow boxing
Mary Korpov: I can see that
Mary Korpov: But I think that a single person can be playing the game with another who is not playing the game
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, which could be very boring or very amusing
Mary Korpov: or annoying, depending upon your perspective
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, if you hold on to it
Archmage Atlantis: or offensive now you understand
Mary Korpov: No, it can be annoying without holding on to it.
Mary Korpov: No, Arch, Idon't understand your point
stevenaia Michinaga: we jsut asked what your friend found offensive about your behavior (still waiting for your answer)
Mary Korpov: Yes, still waiting
Archmage Atlantis: That I challenge the way he thought
Mary Korpov: What's wrong with that?
Archmage Atlantis: I do not know truth
Mary Korpov: Who does?
Archmage Atlantis: I am only human
Mary Korpov: Therefore, you should not speak?
stevenaia Michinaga: perhaps you both can be right.. or wrong
Archmage Atlantis: I challenged where you sat the other night mary
Mary Korpov: So?

--BELL--

Mary Korpov: I remember that, Arch. And your assessment of why I sat where I sat, the learning of which was like pulling teeth, was completely wrong. What does that have to do with your friend?
stevenaia Michinaga: well challenging people is one way to provoke someone, but a roud abut way to understand them
Archmage Atlantis: i bought him flowers tonight
Fox Monacular: goodnight everyone, sorry have to go
Archmage Atlantis: I called first
Mary Korpov: bye
stevenaia Michinaga: bye fox
Archmage Atlantis: I asked if he would accept the flowers
Archmage Atlantis: He said no
stevenaia Michinaga: were your intensions to offend?
Mary Korpov: Well, I think I'll go. No offense, but this type of personal stuff isn't something I want to get into.
stevenaia Michinaga: bye mary
Archmage Atlantis: Yet you asked the question'
stevenaia Michinaga: for instance I didn;t intent to upset you Arch
stevenaia Michinaga: assumes the anger was the result of the conversation
stevenaia Michinaga: but that is my assumption
Archmage Atlantis: She asks, then refuses when the answers don't fit
stevenaia Michinaga: yes, everyone has their own perspective
Archmage Atlantis: I told the creator to bring the flood
Archmage Atlantis: the animals said to ask again
stevenaia Michinaga: I find what we do here can do here is create an alignment of perspectives, try to see what you see through dialog
Archmage Atlantis: In this mary is correct
stevenaia Michinaga: even in the defintion of simple words, not a matter of who is right ot wrong
Archmage Atlantis: I no longer seek alignment
stevenaia Michinaga: nods
Archmage Atlantis: I ask for justice
stevenaia Michinaga: that is a topic for another night
Archmage Atlantis: No really
stevenaia Michinaga: there is no one here to give anyone that
Archmage Atlantis: We are all here
stevenaia Michinaga: not to give jsutice
stevenaia Michinaga: justice
Archmage Atlantis: I hear the crickets
stevenaia Michinaga: they are here
Archmage Atlantis: Fael gave you that tatoo
stevenaia Michinaga: nods