2013.07.10 07:00 - Pain and Authenticity

The Guardian was Zen Arado. All comments are by Zen Arado. The session was held at Kira cafe due to a region restart. I removed some names that came up in the chat as a precaution.

Marooned in Buyeo:

Zen (zen.arado): Hi Eliza :)
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): Hi Zen!
Zen (zen.arado): I was just putting my headset on
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): missed you at the art of being dreaming session Sunday... all okay?
Zen (zen.arado): how are you I haven't seen you for a while?
Zen (zen.arado): I couldn't get out of my region
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): frustrating
Zen (zen.arado): I couldn't send IMs or teleport or anything
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): wow
Zen (zen.arado): I only found out later that I could have entered another region name in the login window
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): at least you weren't stuck inworld ala Bruce and Blub
Zen (zen.arado): you see I had only my home and the last place I visited on the login screen
Sunshine (szavanna): hi peeps :)
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): re not around as much, I'm having to change patterns... go back to the first things I used to do to take care of myself healthwise
Zen (zen.arado): Hi Sunji :)
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): Hi Sunshine :)
Sunshine (szavanna): Jijis ♥
Sunshine (szavanna): Bleuji :)
Zen (zen.arado): Aggers told me to put Bieup or some other region in the log in window and that worked but it took me a long time to find out
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): Hi Bleu :)
Zen (zen.arado): I will know the next time
Zen (zen.arado): Hi Bleu
Bleu (bleu.oleander): hi all :)
Sunshine (szavanna): how are you doing Liz
Zen (zen.arado): I was just telling them that I got stuck in Buyeo on Sunday
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): I've had to do that many times... sometimes to get to your session when it is moved, Zen
Sunshine (szavanna): ah yes
Zen (zen.arado): I couldn't teleport or IM or anything
Zen (zen.arado): I thought it was my viewer but it was the region and it still has the problem
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): ty for asking Sun... am resting a lot and went to see a doc yesterday - sorry to miss the dream session
Zen (zen.arado): but I think they do a restart today and hopefully that will fix it
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): Hello all
Sunshine (szavanna): ahh ty Bleuji ❤
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): how did it go?
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): Hi Sonja :)
Bleu (bleu.oleander): hi Sonja
Sunshine (szavanna): this Sonja ♥
Zen (zen.arado): Hi Sonja :)
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): Sunshine <3
Zen (zen.arado): nice to see you here :)
Sunshine (szavanna): Sonja this is some cool people °͜°
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): don,t know where i am :)
Sunshine (szavanna): hehe
Sunshine (szavanna): take your time to rez
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): nice feeling to have sometimes
Sunshine (szavanna): and then sit :)
Zen (zen.arado): have you been to any pab meetings before Sonya?
Sunshine (szavanna): you are at the Kira Cafe
Sunshine (szavanna): ty Bleuji so you say I must get started with learning?
Zen (zen.arado): We usually meet at the pagoda but they are doing a region restart at the moment
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): aha cool
Zen (zen.arado): so we have to come here
Zen (zen.arado): I have to ask you for permission to post any of your comments on our wiki log?
Zen (zen.arado): All of the meeting chat is recorded on a wiki
Sunshine (szavanna): I will explain to her in IM
Zen (zen.arado): I will send her a note card
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): ah ok
Sunshine (szavanna): :)

Learning Music:

Bleu (bleu.oleander): thought you might be interested in those classes Zenji and Sunji ... our resident DJ's :)
Zen (zen.arado): yes thank you Bleu
Sunshine (szavanna): of course we are interested
Sunshine (szavanna): lol ;D
Zen (zen.arado): actually I just bought a little book about writing melodies
Bleu (bleu.oleander): lol
Bleu (bleu.oleander): the class on writing music sounds great
Sunshine (szavanna): such a great thing this coursera
Zen (zen.arado): so I am having to learn music notation again
Sunshine (szavanna): nods yes Zenji
Sunshine (szavanna): those dots with the lins
Sunshine (szavanna): lines
Bleu (bleu.oleander): :)
Sunshine (szavanna): °͜°
Zen (zen.arado): I have read music before for classical guitar
Zen (zen.arado): actually I think it is much easier on a keyboard
Zen (zen.arado): than trying to find the notes on a guitar fretboard
Zen (zen.arado): really you need to know something about writing music if you want to use one of those digital audio programs
Zen (zen.arado): sigh
Sunshine (szavanna): sighs along
Zen (zen.arado): everything you do get you into something else
Bleu (bleu.oleander): that's the truth!
Zen (zen.arado): but this book looks very good and I'm finding it easier to use my computer keypad than a MIDI keyboard
Zen (zen.arado): it suddenly struck me that I used to play a button accordion in my teens
Bleu (bleu.oleander): really?
Zen (zen.arado): I just played by ear
Zen (zen.arado): so playing a computer keyboard is much the same
Bleu (bleu.oleander): I'm just using my computer keypad
Zen (zen.arado): :-)
Zen (zen.arado): I didn't realise I could do that until last week
Zen (zen.arado): I wasted money buying a keyboard
Zen (zen.arado): the author says that many musicians limit themselves by just using a guitar and strumming chords and trying to get a melody from that
Zen (zen.arado): whereas if you understand the basic elements of music composition you can get better results
Zen (zen.arado): that should be easy for you Sunji
Zen (zen.arado): you studied music studied music
Zen (zen.arado): wow have got reverberation :-)
Sunshine (szavanna): yes I did study some
Zen (zen.arado): I was always useless at sightreading
Zen (zen.arado): it took me ages to find where the notes were on a guitar
Zen (zen.arado): you would think they must have used all of the possible melodies by now
Zen (zen.arado): it is really hot today where I live
Zen (zen.arado): it was 26 degrees yesterday
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): ah nice
Zen (zen.arado): too hot for me to sit out in the sun
Bleu (bleu.oleander): hot is relative lol
Zen (zen.arado): and that doesn't happen very often in Ireland :-)
Sunshine (szavanna): :)
Zen (zen.arado): that's about 80 degrees Fahrenheit
Bleu (bleu.oleander): that's nothing!
Bleu (bleu.oleander): we're over 100 everyday now
Bleu (bleu.oleander): won't see 80 until fall :)
Zen (zen.arado): I know but much hotter than usual here
Zen (zen.arado): what is the topic this week – I forgotten
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): :)

Pain:

Zen (zen.arado): we were talking about pain again in the virtual ability meeting Eliza
Bleu (bleu.oleander): hypocrisy
Zen (zen.arado): I gave them some quotes from Jeff Foster but I don't think they like that too much
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): I was in a doctor's appt thinking... why on earth is this appt taking 4 hrs
Zen (zen.arado): :-)
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): :)
Sunshine (szavanna): Zenji so you got the kindle version of that book?
Sunshine (szavanna): Deepest acceptance?
Zen (zen.arado): yes I have it on Kindle
Sunshine (szavanna): ah
Zen (zen.arado): it has a great chapter on pain
Sunshine (szavanna): so not real book form
Zen (zen.arado): but it isn't conventional thinking by any means
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): it is pretty neat how his writing took wings at some point... so eloquent and touching the heart
Sunshine (szavanna): can you send me the link Zenji where I can buy
Zen (zen.arado): I had to buy the book about writing melodies in paperback form and it is very heavy
Zen (zen.arado): you can buy it on Amazon
Sunshine (szavanna): ok
Zen (zen.arado): isn't there an Amazon South Africa?
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): lol
Bleu (bleu.oleander): what does he say about pain Zenji?
Sunshine (szavanna): no its on another continent
Sunshine (szavanna): unless it moved
Zen (zen.arado): Well there is a whole chapter about it Bleu
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): /me giggles
Sunshine (szavanna): ;D
Zen (zen.arado): :)
Sunshine (szavanna): ok I stop the silly
Zen (zen.arado): not the River !!
Sunshine (szavanna): ah!
Sunshine (szavanna): sorryyy
Sunshine (szavanna): :D
Zen (zen.arado): Actually I used some of quotes from it when I was at my last meditation meeting and they didn't like it there either
Zen (zen.arado): some of the ideas
Zen (zen.arado): my real life all day meditation meeting I mean
Sunshine (szavanna): http://www.amazon.com/The-Deepest-Ac...est+acceptance
Zen (zen.arado): he he actually says we don't really know what pain is we just tell ourselves stories about it
Zen (zen.arado): and he says to investigate pain rather than the story, the mental saved up story we have about it

Zen (zen.arado): 'Often, when you ask people to tell you about their pain or discomfort, they will launch straight into a story about their pain, rather than actually feeling the pain right now. They will talk around their pain, rather than from it. They will tell you how bad the pain is, how much it hurts, how much better or worse it is than yesterday’s pain, how upset they are about it, how much it is getting in the way of their plans, how terrible or wonderful their care has been, and so on. Telling a story about past pain, about future pain, about everything they know about pain, comparing their pain to other peoples’ pain, are wonderful ways to avoid feeling pain right now.
 
 Foster, Jeff (2012-11-01). The Deepest Acceptance (pp. 137-138). Sounds True. Kindle Edition.

Zen (zen.arado): 'Meet what’s here without hope. Are the sensations static, solid, fixed, or do they move and dance in present experience? How do they move? Do they move quickly or slowly? Where are they going? Follow them. Do they feel like they are going in a specific direction or all kinds of directions at once? Are they traveling in little circles, going up and down, side to side, or in and out? Do the sensations have sharp edges, like little razors? Or do they feel softer, more rounded, more tender? Do they feel deep or shallow? Do the sensations have textures or patterns? Are they rough, smooth, bumpy, lumpy, prickly? Do they vibrate, throb, flutter, tremble, undulate, oscillate, shiver, pulsate, or palpitate? Do they have a rhythm, a beat? Do they have a temperature? Do they feel burning hot?
 
 Foster, Jeff (2012-11-01). The Deepest Acceptance (p. 134). Sounds True. Kindle Edition.

Eliza (eliza.madrigal): the thing is, people in pain often spend a lot of time not talking to others about it
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): hiding it
Zen (zen.arado): this is just the start of investigating any pain
Zen (zen.arado): I think some brave people do Eliza but I think most of us like to complain :-)
Zen (zen.arado): and we think that pain is something we shouldn't have to bear
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): :)
Zen (zen.arado): and actually we couldn't do without it could we?
Zen (zen.arado): People who can't feel pain have terrible trouble
Zen (zen.arado): because they don't get any warning of something wrong with them
Zen (zen.arado): something that needs attention
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): there are some fine lines, but in general I think he's right ... that direct investigation is the way to go.
Zen (zen.arado): it's really the same thing as looking at emotional feelings in the body rather than making a big story and drama about them in the mind
Zen (zen.arado): Hi Sanji :)
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): Hi San :)
Sunshine (szavanna): hi San °͜°
Bleu (bleu.oleander): hi San
San (santoshima): hi all
Zen (zen.arado): it doesn't mean we won't feel the pain though but we can learn how to accept it better
Zen (zen.arado): and it's quite acceptable to take pain killers
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): but I think its important to be careful not to sort of say to someone reaching out "well that's just a story keep it to yourself" :P
Zen (zen.arado): although I try to avoid that as much as possible
Zen (zen.arado): yes Eliza
Zen (zen.arado): he doesn't say anything about giving it to yourself
Zen (zen.arado): keeping it to yourself
Zen (zen.arado): I mean
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): /me nods
Zen (zen.arado): should we?
Zen (zen.arado): I suppose there is a happy medium
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): :)
Zen (zen.arado): I sometimes wonder if it's right to tell people all about our physical problems like we do in that virtual ability meeting
Zen (zen.arado): and does it actually do any good?
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): I wonder about that too
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): but that meeting is very dynamic
Zen (zen.arado): Or is it good to share these things?
Zen (zen.arado): People will understand where you are coming from better if you give them more information about yourself surely?
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): no, lol
Zen (zen.arado): But we don't want to listen to someone moaning all the time either
Zen (zen.arado): I was explaining to the checkout operator this morning about my sore shoulder
Zen (zen.arado): so that I can get them to lift my groceries out of my basket for me :-)
Zen (zen.arado): otherwise they don't understand
Bleu (bleu.oleander): perhaps we're all looking for some understanding
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): :) yes
Zen (zen.arado): yes and we won't get it unless we are prepared to talk about ourselves and

Zen (zen.arado): that also makes us more vulnerable

Eliza (eliza.madrigal): I used to get birthday cards from my maternal grandmother as a child... 5 paragraphs of all her ailments and one "happy birthday" line - I've tried not to do that but then sometimes have "but why didn't you tell me" in response to some confusion
Zen (zen.arado): :-)
Zen (zen.arado): perhaps I am getting to that stage :-)
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): I didn't know her.. is the thing.. this was the only time I had contact, lol
Zen (zen.arado): you knew her through her ailments :-)
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): yes :)
Bleu (bleu.oleander): we are vulnerable in many areas ... sharing it seems to make us feel better
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): /me nods Bleu

Authenticity:

Zen (zen.arado): that is part of authenticity
Sunshine (szavanna): nods
Zen (zen.arado): being exactly who we are
Sunshine (szavanna): white zulu
Sunshine (szavanna): ;p
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): :P
Bleu (bleu.oleander): lol
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): :P
Zen (zen.arado): :-)
Sunshine (szavanna): hehe
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): "girl with red hair and polka dots"
Sunshine (szavanna): ;o)
Bleu (bleu.oleander): hehe
Sunshine (szavanna): I bought the kindle edition Zenji
Zen (zen.arado): maybe my Avatar isn't authentic
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): :)
Zen (zen.arado): that's great Sunji
Sunshine (szavanna): and I am reading it in the clouds
Bleu (bleu.oleander): ha! "authentic avatar"
Sunshine (szavanna): ;p
Zen (zen.arado): it isn't actually but then whose is?
Bleu (bleu.oleander): :P
Zen (zen.arado): Sometimes I get a surprise when I see some people's photos on Facebook
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): perhaps a microcosm of a macroauthenticity
Bleu (bleu.oleander): oximoron
Zen (zen.arado): (Name removed) really looks nice in real life :-)
Sunshine (szavanna): really ;o)
Zen (zen.arado): a microcosm of micro-authenticity hmm
Sunshine (szavanna): oh I had a chat yesterday with (name removed) I didn't know she was 72
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): ooh yes
Sunshine (szavanna): ;))
Sunshine (szavanna): we had a fun chat
Zen (zen.arado): so does Eliza
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): she's so interesting
Sunshine (szavanna): :))
Bleu (bleu.oleander): don't know her
Zen (zen.arado): I think I have met her
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): she teaches a "social akido" class sometimes
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): and has done various acting things in SL
Zen (zen.arado): what is that Eliza?
Bleu (bleu.oleander): what is social akido?
Zen (zen.arado): I know what aikido is
Zen (zen.arado): a kind of martial art I think
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): yes
Sunshine (szavanna): yes
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): so her class is about not getting caught by reactiveness basically
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): right response/timing
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): freedom in that
Zen (zen.arado): but isn't reactive ness being authentic?
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): good question
Bleu (bleu.oleander): how can someone teach you that?
Zen (zen.arado): I know someone with Asperger's
Zen (zen.arado): and they have to act all the time to give the right social responses
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): well what she teaches is a way of looking at things I guess, and does it with a lot of humor
Bleu (bleu.oleander): so dependent on each unique situation?
Zen (zen.arado): it sounds a bit like that
Zen (zen.arado): perhaps we need to know more about it
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): well, just wanted to say that she as a person seems neat :)
Bleu (bleu.oleander): :)
Zen (zen.arado): yes – I think she comes to the virtual ability meetings sometimes
Sunshine (szavanna): I met (name removed)
Sunshine (szavanna): from VAI
Sunshine (szavanna): she was looking for DJs
Zen (zen.arado): ah yes (name removed) :)
Sunshine (szavanna): yes :)
Sunshine (szavanna): and she sent me a dress
Zen (zen.arado): she is funny
Sunshine (szavanna): not sure why hehe
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): :)
Sunshine (szavanna): I was not sure if I understood what she needed
Zen (zen.arado): I think she is quite young
Zen (zen.arado): it's funny how you get to talk to different age groups in Second Life
Zen (zen.arado): not just people from other countries
Zen (zen.arado): it's not often I get to speak to young women in their twenties in real life
Bleu (bleu.oleander): :)
Sunshine (szavanna): like me
Sunshine (szavanna): ;o)
Bleu (bleu.oleander): :P
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): /me smiles
Sunshine (szavanna): I am 5 for example
Bleu (bleu.oleander): lol
Sunshine (szavanna): ;P
Bleu (bleu.oleander): forever 5
Sunshine (szavanna): yes
Sunshine (szavanna): lol
Sunshine (szavanna): ahh so I can put the book on my android phone too?
Bleu (bleu.oleander): yes
Bleu (bleu.oleander): download the app
Sunshine (szavanna): hmm go to samsung apps
Zen (zen.arado): you can read on your computer, on a Kindle, or on your smartphone or tablet
Sunshine (szavanna): ok
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): I have two books on kindle... one is called Flowers for Algernon, that my son recommended :)
Bleu (bleu.oleander): no excuse not to read anymore
Sunshine (szavanna): ty will try to add to my phone
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): I only recently knew one could just download the **********Applause!!********** and not buy the gadgetry
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): **********Applause!!**********
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): lol... *APP
Bleu (bleu.oleander): I have lots of books on kindle
Zen (zen.arado): heh yes
Sunshine (szavanna): hehehehe
Zen (zen.arado): I have about 130
Sunshine (szavanna): I was not sure what happened
Sunshine (szavanna): all that clapping
Sunshine (szavanna): 130?
Bleu (bleu.oleander): too easy to push "buy now"
Zen (zen.arado): books on Kindle
Zen (zen.arado): yes they make it too easy
San (santoshima): flowers for algernon i remember reading in grade school
Sunshine (szavanna): sigh
Zen (zen.arado): and they recommend tempting books when they get to know you and your tastes
Bleu (bleu.oleander): some books I really liked on kindle I ended up buying the hardcover too lol
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): yes... I'd never heard of it but it came up in school for him
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): and he was very touched
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): and liked the way it was written
San (santoshima): very touching, yes
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): :) Bleu
Zen (zen.arado): that sounds familiar to me
Bleu (bleu.oleander): :)
Zen (zen.arado): I was reading Biggles books at that age
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): I need to go... having dizzy spells (complain whine moan etc)
Zen (zen.arado): no one has heard of them now
Sunshine (szavanna): hugs liz
Sunshine (szavanna): IM me ♥
Bleu (bleu.oleander): feel better Liz
Zen (zen.arado): oh sorry Eliza
Sunshine (szavanna): or mail
Bleu (bleu.oleander): take care
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): bye Eliza take care
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): no worries... will pass
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): many hugs
Zen (zen.arado): hope you feel better later
Bleu (bleu.oleander): hugs
Zen (zen.arado): hugs
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): ♥ ♥ ♥
Eliza (eliza.madrigal): ♥ ♥ ♥
San (santoshima): bye eliza
Sunshine (szavanna): I go also back to websites
Bleu (bleu.oleander): me too
Sunshine (szavanna): have a fun Tuesday °͜°
Sunshine (szavanna): Zenji you need to set your work - to buy
Sunshine (szavanna): at my gallery
Sunshine (szavanna): when you remember
Zen (zen.arado): ok byee Sunji and Bleuji and thanks for coming
Bleu (bleu.oleander): take care all
Sunshine (szavanna): you too ❤
Zen (zen.arado): yes I know I still have to work on them Sunji
Sunshine (szavanna): ok ok
San (santoshima): bye bleu
Zen (zen.arado): thanks for coming
Sunshine (szavanna): anytime
Bleu (bleu.oleander): bye bye
Sunshine (szavanna): waves
San (santoshima): so ong everyone
San (santoshima): l
Sunshine (szavanna): soo what do I do to add the kindle book
Sunshine (szavanna): take care San :))
Zen (zen.arado): byee San
Zen (zen.arado): when you download the application any books you have bought on Amazon will be there
Sunshine (szavanna): ahh
Sunshine (szavanna): which app
Zen (zen.arado): sometimes you have to download them
Zen (zen.arado): but the name will be there
Zen (zen.arado): the Kindle application
Sunshine (szavanna): ok I think I see it
Zen (zen.arado): there's one for the iPhone I didn't know there was one for android but
Sunshine (szavanna): I stay here while Sonja is AFK
Sunshine (szavanna): don't want her to be left here hehe
Sunshine (szavanna): strange land
Zen (zen.arado): that's nice of you Sunji
Sunshine (szavanna): °͜°
Sunshine (szavanna): hmm
Zen (zen.arado): but you're a nice person I guess :-)
Sunshine (szavanna): hehe youuuuu
Sunshine (szavanna): ahhh there she is
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): hey all
Sunshine (szavanna): ty for coming Sonja
Sunshine (szavanna): ;))
Zen (zen.arado): are you happy if we post any of your comments then SonJa?
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): sorry next time i pay more attention to dissucion :)
Zen (zen.arado): It just saves me having to write visitor lots of times
Sunshine (szavanna): yes I think she is ok
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): sure i find all ok no words to hide
Sunshine (szavanna): lol yes
Zen (zen.arado): that's great :-)
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): :)
Sunshine (szavanna): ;)) byebyeee both
Sunshine (szavanna): I hide and work a bit
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): bye take care both x0x
Zen (zen.arado): byee and thanks for coming
Sunshine (szavanna): IM anytime
Sunshine (szavanna): ♥
Zen (zen.arado): hugs
Sunshine (szavanna): hugsss
Sunshine (szavanna): :)
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): Bye Zen
Sonja (sonja.kowalski): see you somewhere next time :)
Zen (zen.arado): Bye Sonja
Zen (zen.arado): :)