2008.12.08 07:00 - Unusual PaB observations

    Table of contents
    No headers

    Becka Finesmith was the Guardian on Call and the comments are hers.

    A little chat about my rash....

    Becka Finesmith: Hi gaya
    Gaya Ethaniel: Hey Becka ^^
    Becka Finesmith: I nodded off there for a moment ;)
    Gaya Ethaniel: np ^^ it's Monday after all
    Becka Finesmith: yeah - quiet weekend :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: Weekend was good yes ^^ how are you today?
    Becka Finesmith: Still itchy :(
    Gaya Ethaniel: aaww...
    Gaya Ethaniel: How long it has been now... a good few days no?
    Becka Finesmith: and frustrated with myself as I'm having trouble solving a problem
    Becka Finesmith: It's been since Thursday
    Gaya Ethaniel nods...
    Gaya Ethaniel: What problem is it?
    Becka Finesmith: I don't really know to be honest. I've had several diagnosis from friends from Measles to allergy
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah... so it's not chicken pox?
    Becka Finesmith: I'll give it a day or two more then if it doesn't improve, go see the GP
    Becka Finesmith: I don't think it's chicken pox. The symptons don't really match
    Becka Finesmith: I guess I should see a professional!
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes sounds like an idea... have you talked to NHS direct, they are pretty good...
    Becka Finesmith: No - I've looked at their self help website but haven't called them
    Becka Finesmith: i might try that ,

    Then a little more about writing down PaB sessions.....

    Becka Finesmith: Are you planning to go to the retreat next year?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes you can talk to nurses and doctors on it
    Becka Finesmith: (cool)
    Gaya Ethaniel: Perhaps yes ^^
    Becka Finesmith: Did you try what Pema suggested at yesterdays meeting and write down when you PaB?
    Gaya Ethaniel: I've done that for a long time Becka...
    Gaya Ethaniel: Have you started?
    Gaya Ethaniel: ty
    Becka Finesmith: oh - Cool - Yes. I do it when I can
    Becka Finesmith: it's not always possible
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    Gaya Ethaniel: Hey doug ^^
    Becka Finesmith: Hi Doug
    doug Sosa: morning!
    Becka Finesmith: We were talking about writing down PaB sessions Doug
    Gaya Ethaniel: Have you found it useful so far Becka?
    doug Sosa: go ahead..
    Becka Finesmith: Yes. But sometimes when I look back, it doesn't make any sense :(
    doug Sosa: that't the way i feel about looking forward :)
    Becka Finesmith: lol
    Gaya Ethaniel: [Sorry brb]
    Becka Finesmith: In what way Doug?
    doug Sosa: slow i noticed.
    doug Sosa: well,
    doug Sosa: the future is a jumble of possibilities.
    Becka Finesmith: Yes. Do you feel what happens to you in the future is all about your choice?
    doug Sosa: that would be terrible. No i expect god to keep the ataoms in place.. :)
    doug Sosa: but most of what happens in the future is nott anyone's choice.
    Becka Finesmith: You think God has a lot to do with it?
    doug Sosa: actually no. i was joking hence :)
    Becka Finesmith: lol - OK
    Becka Finesmith: I missed the :)
    doug Sosa: it rather thas to do with itself and the fact that life is adapted to some aspects of stuff but not all, hecne glitches.
    Becka Finesmith: But useful glitches in many respects
    Becka Finesmith: one species downfall is anothers blessing?
    doug Sosa: most of the time it is more synergyistic, not so apocalytic.
    doug Sosa: sdpecies cooperate a lot
    Becka Finesmith: indeed.
    doug Sosa: Gaya?
    Becka Finesmith: I think Gaya is away for a moment
    doug Sosa: Becka, I love your head movements. how do you do that?
    Becka Finesmith: What am I doing?
    Becka Finesmith: It's not deliberate :)
    Becka Finesmith: It must be part of my AO
    doug Sosa: well, side to side, your body araches when you type..
    Becka Finesmith: I hadn't noticed :)
    Becka Finesmith: Must be AO then - Nothing I'm doing delibertely
    doug Sosa: a new disease, AO?
    Becka Finesmith: lol - Avatat Override
    Becka Finesmith: avatar
    doug Sosa: ah, tricks. I had no idea.
    Becka Finesmith: lol. We love this world where anything is possible ;)
    doug Sosa: well, not anything. We are being recorded.

    Then Doug brought up some interesting outcomes to his practice.....

    doug Sosa: But can i change the topic?
    Becka Finesmith: of course
    doug Sosa: well,
    doug Sosa: i wonder how you feel about
    doug Sosa: in the 9 sec
    doug Sosa: can we see the appearance of the economy, and other social forces?
    doug Sosa: I think i can.
    Becka Finesmith: Interesting. I like to think I am looking in on nothing other then me
    Becka Finesmith: perhaps that's my selfish side
    Becka Finesmith: how does this manifest itself?
    doug Sosa: when i thin k of me, think of my experience, which is alwaya misture of me and other.
    doug Sosa: what comes up in 9 sec is always experience.
    Becka Finesmith: This is true. As I have said before, we are the sum in this reality of our interactions with others.
    Becka Finesmith: But we are supposed to go beyond that I understand
    doug Sosa: so the exereince is lso of others.
    doug Sosa: so the question is, does that include the real but unseen, like social forces and economies.
    Becka Finesmith: Well, removing the others from my experience I guess is the first step towards stripping away all the layers
    Becka Finesmith: I can then learn about me before I extinguish that layer too
    doug Sosa: I have never wanted to strip away layers, but to experience them.
    doug Sosa: with fewer assumptins.
    Becka Finesmith: but then they have to go?
    doug Sosa: after all, to strip away one rather than another is a strong act.
    Becka Finesmith: This is the one area I have trouble with
    Gaya Ethaniel: [back, sorry got a bit caught up]
    stevenaia Michinaga: hello
    Becka Finesmith: "We are not who we think we are" always resounds in my mind
    Becka Finesmith: NP Gaya
    Becka Finesmith: Hy Stevenala
    Gaya Ethaniel: Hey stevenaia ^^
    genesis Zhangsun: Hey Steve
    doug Sosa: nor are we what others think we are.
    doug Sosa: icluding say the fountain.
    stevenaia Michinaga: am I sitting on someone I don;t see?
    Becka Finesmith: Hi Gen
    Gaya Ethaniel: Hey gen ^^
    stevenaia Michinaga: ooops, so sorry becka
    genesis Zhangsun: not that I can tell Steve :)
    Becka Finesmith: Hoproblem Steve
    Becka Finesmith: :)
    doug Sosa: so i was asking, in the 9 sec i think i can "see" the economy and other social things. thoughts about that?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Hey Corvi ^^
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: Hi all
    Becka Finesmith: Hiya Corvi.
    genesis Zhangsun: Hey Corvi!
    stevenaia Michinaga: hi Corvi
    Becka Finesmith: I try to see a blank page when I 9 seonds
    Becka Finesmith: seconds
    Becka Finesmith: and watch what comes up from it
    doug Sosa: i like to just be where i am doing what i am doing andsee what i can see when fewer assumptions about it all.
    Becka Finesmith: This process can sometimes extend beyond 9 seconds though. I don't want to think only about the length of time which seems to detract from the purpose
    Gaya Ethaniel: Do you mind saying more about 'assumptions' doug?
    doug Sosa: well, as to the solidity of ojects for example, or that a table is a "table" rather than what it more really is, a complex experience.
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah... ok
    Becka Finesmith: the argument becomes circular doesn't it? To say that, you also have to make ssumptions
    doug Sosa: such as?
    Becka Finesmith: Well, you are then assuming is is a complex experience.
    Becka Finesmith: and the human definition therof
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: Nicely said, Becka.
    doug Sosa: well "complex" is certainly a reflection on experience. But in the 9 sec i let go of these.
    doug Sosa: so sitting here, doing 9 sec i notice the opening towards more, towards the quality of the light, where people are stting, how i am felling about each..
    Becka Finesmith nods
    Becka Finesmith: I have to leave now to go get my Daughter - Can someone drop me a notecard with the rest of the session later?
    genesis Zhangsun: Why is it that you all do 9 seconds, what is your intention in doing 9 seconds?
    doug Sosa: remember in tao it says, to see things as they are be without desire, to see them as the manifest, have desire.
    Gaya Ethaniel: Sure Becka. Have a good afternoon ^^
    doug Sosa: the 9 sec is always a mix.

    I had to leave at this point but Gaya kindly supplied a log of the remainder of the session.

    doug Sosa: bye.
    genesis Zhangsun: bye becka
    doug Sosa: i too must go..:)
    genesis Zhangsun: bye Doug
    Gaya Ethaniel: Enjoy your day doug ^^
    stevenaia Michinaga: bye Doug
    genesis Zhangsun: is anyone here still regularly doing 9 seconds?
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    stevenaia Michinaga: more here than regularly
    genesis Zhangsun: and Gaya why do you do it?
    Gaya Ethaniel: I feel 'better' for doing it
     genesis Zhangsun: healthier? more responsible?
    Gaya Ethaniel: mm... more alert?
    genesis Zhangsun: and do you do it for the purpose?
    genesis Zhangsun: to bemore alert?
    genesis Zhangsun: * that purpose
    Gaya Ethaniel: no... I just want to do it as I want to play music?
    Gaya Ethaniel: no purposes...
    genesis Zhangsun: I ask only because I struggle with this question of intentionality myself
    genesis Zhangsun: in doing something like PaB it requires a commitment
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah... well I'm happy not doing it too... if that explains more
    Gaya Ethaniel: But mostly I end up doing throughout the day if at home
    genesis Zhangsun: mmhm
    Gaya Ethaniel: And when out, I do it a few times, ringing a bell internally
    Gaya Ethaniel: [not by a regular slot ie 15 min]
    genesis Zhangsun: and you really do it in that sort of natural way but in a regular fashion?
    Gaya Ethaniel: Yes
    genesis Zhangsun: that is quite amazing
    Gaya Ethaniel: Well I'm used to doing sitting meditations fairly regularly... sometimes walking ones so...
    Gaya Ethaniel: Do you have particular reasons for doing 9 sec then gen?
    genesis Zhangsun: and do you do these still in addition to 9 seconds?
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    Gaya Ethaniel: Doesn't take long ^^
    genesis Zhangsun: little bit of a complicated answer
    genesis Zhangsun: like you I suppose in one way yes and in one way no
    stevenaia Michinaga: I must go, see you soon
    genesis Zhangsun: see you Steve
    Gaya Ethaniel: Have a good day stevenaia ^^
    Gaya Ethaniel: Do you mind saying more on each gen?
    genesis Zhangsun: sure
    genesis Zhangsun: In one way yes because I use my intention of becoming/being more aware, alert, healthy "better" as you say to motivate me in some ways to keep going
    genesis Zhangsun: to keep at for now more than 7 months
    genesis Zhangsun: sometimes I falter and I have let it go for a couple of months
    genesis Zhangsun: so this is not entirely consistent over 7 months
    genesis Zhangsun: but anyhow it has been a challenge of commitment for me to stick with it
    genesis Zhangsun: and in this process I find myself using my commitment/my intention to be a "better" person to keep me going
    genesis Zhangsun: on the otherhand I say "no" because another part of me sees that this is laughable
    genesis Zhangsun: that there is no such thing as "better"
    genesis Zhangsun: that this goal is very "monkey" like
    genesis Zhangsun: the regular preoccupation of humans of samsara
    genesis Zhangsun: and yet these two parts of me play in a balance with one another
    genesis Zhangsun: they sort of laugh at one another and support one another
    genesis Zhangsun: so that is my bit of a complicated answer
    Gaya Ethaniel: I don't get 'laughing' bit...
    genesis Zhangsun: well they laugh as in they both see the ridiculousness of what the "other" is doing (using a duality of this commitment driven self and a self that recognizes the futility of this commitment to explain)
    Gaya Ethaniel: ah... ok
    Gaya Ethaniel: I like doing it so I do... don't want to 'think' about it more than that really
    genesis Zhangsun: sure we are all different
    genesis Zhangsun: :)
    Gaya Ethaniel nods
    genesis Zhangsun: but really that is quite amazing to me to be able to continue doing something in the way you are describing Gaya
    genesis Zhangsun: where you don't think about it, you just do with no thought of result
    Gaya Ethaniel: Well... my life had been [still somewhat now] driven by purposes and results
    Gaya Ethaniel: I have slowly stopped doing so for a while now
    genesis Zhangsun: well I must be going
    genesis Zhangsun: thanks Gaya for sharing with me
    Gaya Ethaniel: Have a good day gen and thanks for sharing also ^^
    genesis Zhangsun: I am interested in the way that others engage with the practice :)
    genesis Zhangsun: see you. have a pleasant day Gaya :)
    Gaya Ethaniel: Thanks you too ^^

    Tag page (Edit tags)
    • No tags
    You must login to post a comment.
    Powered by MindTouch Core