2008.12.27 01:00 - Love and Compassion

The guardian on call was Scathach Rhiadra.   The comments are hers.

I arrived and was joined by Claire, a regular visitor to PaB...

Scathach Rhiadra: Hello clare
Scathach Rhiadra: how are you ?
Claire Beltran: If I said, 'not well', would you be upset.
Claire Beltran: ?
Scathach Rhiadra: no, of course not
Scathach Rhiadra: what is bothering you?
Claire Beltran: I feel lonely.
Scathach Rhiadra: ah, here in SL, RL or both?
Claire Beltran: both.
Scathach Rhiadra: is it just now around xmas?
Claire Beltran: Always.
Scathach Rhiadra: and have you talked about this to anyone in RL?
Claire Beltran: So many, many times. But I see no difference; I don't have any RL friends.
Scathach Rhiadra: what about SL friends, you have those?
Claire Beltran: Yes... but I'm so scared of alienating them.
Claire Beltran: I don't know what to talk to them about...
Claire Beltran: Excpet being very, very sad.

We are joined by Tarmel and Corvi (who is wearing lovely festive antlers)....

Scathach Rhiadra: Hello Tarmel
Tarmel Udimo: hi there scath and claire
Claire Beltran: Hello...
Tarmel Udimo: hi corvi
Corvuscorva Nightfire grins. Hi, Claire, Tarmel..Scathach.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: good to see you all
Scathach Rhiadra: Hello Corvi
Scathach Rhiadra: are they antlers you are wearing?
Scathach Rhiadra: has anyone any topic they want to discuss?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: they are antlers.
Scathach Rhiadra: very nice:))
Corvuscorva Nightfire: Thanks *grins8

Tarmel asked the question, which was to be the only topic for the session - Love, Compassion...for others and ourselves...

Tarmel Udimo: is it more important to give love or to receive
Tarmel Udimo: love?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: wow
Scathach Rhiadra: big topic:)
Tarmel Udimo: or both?
Tarmel Udimo: girl topic.. :-)
Scathach Rhiadra: :)
Scathach Rhiadra: well some say we only give love to receive, even if it is unconciously done
Tarmel Udimo: do you think that
Scathach Rhiadra: no, I think we are capable of selfless love
Scathach Rhiadra: how about you?
Tarmel Udimo: well my friend who I am visiting says " you have to be able to receive it to be able to give it."
Corvuscorva Nightfire: I think giving love is like opening a channel
Tarmel Udimo: yes so you are opeing to receive first
Tarmel Udimo: we are love....
Tarmel Udimo: or so my friend says :-)
Scathach Rhiadra: do you see any difference between love and compassion?
Tarmel Udimo: in a way its about context
Tarmel Udimo: I feel compassion for those who are suffering or when I understand something deeply
Tarmel Udimo: and try to see where the other person is coming from or experiencing
Tarmel Udimo: and love well... there seem to be so many kinds :)
Scathach Rhiadra nods
Scathach Rhiadra: so how would we define love?
Tarmel Udimo: how do you define love?
Scathach Rhiadra: hmmm, not sure:)
Tarmel Udimo: how about you claire & corvi?
Corvuscorva Nightfire: Letting go of "self" to really be present.
Tarmel Udimo: and you clare?
Tarmel Udimo: my friend says: love is the fruit of surrendering to what is in the now
Claire Beltran: I don't know... I'm not sure what it is to love. Not really.
Scathach Rhiadra: that is a nice definition Corvi, I would also see compassion in that light
Claire Beltran: In my expierience, the only way I can tell is if someone I care about is in pain.
Claire Beltran: So... really... it's that if I start to cry... that is love. There is no real joy attached.
Tarmel Udimo: you can cry with love and cry with suffering
Tarmel Udimo: you can also bless out with love
Tarmel Udimo: I remember once I was so happy I was crying and laughing at the same time....
Tarmel Udimo: *bliss
Scathach Rhiadra: I think you also have to have include yourself in the love you feel for others
Corvuscorva Nightfire: oh
Corvuscorva Nightfire: say more?
Scathach Rhiadra: to feel you are capable of receiving love
Scathach Rhiadra: to be open to others requires an amount of being happy with your self, so to speak
Tarmel Udimo: yes
Scathach Rhiadra: or in yourself maybe
Corvuscorva Nightfire: I don't know about that...
Tarmel Udimo: say more
Corvuscorva Nightfire frowns...I think that one can be quite unhappy with oneself...and still be loving.
Tarmel Udimo: hummmmm
Corvuscorva Nightfire: but...accepting that one is loved is harder.
Tarmel Udimo: yes my friend and I totally agree
Tarmel Udimo: and to accept that one is loved one must be able to love oneself
Tarmel Udimo: otherwise it doesn't work
Tarmel Udimo: you can only allow the amount of love you give to yourself
Tarmel Udimo: like when we are babies we receive love unconditionally
Tarmel Udimo: and then as we mature we can't seem to do that for lost of reasons
Tarmel Udimo: *lots
Scathach Rhiadra: and parents give unconditional love to their children
Scathach Rhiadra: even when they grow and maybe not turn out as they had hoped, they still love them
Tarmel Udimo: hummmm
Tarmel Udimo: so is this the open channel you talked about corvi?
Corvuscorva Nightfire thinks..
Claire Beltran: I feel like I may have let... well... I always feel that it's me I've let down. I don't know how that works.
Claire Beltran: But I'm always worried about disgracing other people.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: how?
Tarmel Udimo: I think we all feel like that sometimes...
Tarmel Udimo: unloved and unacceptable
Tarmel Udimo: and when I feel like that I try to look objectively at what is happening
Tarmel Udimo: and ultimately realised that hey I'm okay
Tarmel Udimo: that ultimately everything is okay
Claire Beltran: But it's hard for me to see myself that way.
Scathach Rhiadra: sometimes we can judge ourselves too harshly
Claire Beltran: It's more like... 'If the world's okay, it is okay without my being in it, and I am standing behind a screen while everyone passes on the other side.'
Corvuscorva Nightfire: i think what i mean by open channel...it has to do with how giving love lets us feel like we -can- recieve it....it lets us be open to it...somehow.
Tarmel Udimo: the world is with everything in it - nothing can be on the outside
Tarmel Udimo: can you explin more corvi?
Tarmel Udimo: *explain
Corvuscorva Nightfire is kind of digging into feelings here...
Corvuscorva Nightfire: not logic.
Tarmel Udimo: yep
Scathach Rhiadra: :)
Corvuscorva Nightfire: and not something i have alot of language for.
Tarmel Udimo: so by giving love we become more open to receive it?
Tarmel Udimo: me neither
Corvuscorva Nightfire: still thinking...
Corvuscorva Nightfire: to actually be loving, for me..means letting go of a little bit of fear and hold backedness.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: so...I have to relax...allow...
Corvuscorva Nightfire: to be loving.
Corvuscorva Nightfire: but it's compelling...so I do it...which allows...
Scathach Rhiadra nods:)
Tarmel Udimo: yes I feel the same way
Corvuscorva Nightfire: me to open myself to being loved...at least a little.
Tarmel Udimo: thats nice I liked reading that :-)
Scathach Rhiadra: :)
Tarmel Udimo: well that was a good session
Scathach Rhiadra: and a nice thought to end on:)
Tarmel Udimo: yes...
Corvuscorva Nightfire: bye all.
Scathach Rhiadra: bye Corvi, namasté
Tarmel Udimo: okay bye claire and scath see you at the next one :-)
Corvuscorva Nightfire grins. Namaste.
Scathach Rhiadra: byre Tarmel, namasté:
Scathach Rhiadra: I have to leave too, Claire, take care of yourself:)