2008.12.19 07:00 - Catching up...

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    I (Quen) arrived very late due too some logistical and traffic problems. Thankfully both Adams and Corvi gave me their logs. My contribution is minimal: I was behind and reading, trying to catch up and never really did...

    Adams Rubble: hello Corvi :)
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: Hi, Adams..
    Adams Rubble: Ah. Did you see I mentioned you in my blog?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: No!
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: I haven't looked today. ^.^
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    Adams Rubble: Don;t have an answer yet
    Adams Rubble: not as simple as it might appear
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: no, it's not.
    Adams Rubble: Sorry you can't stay
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: actually, I can.
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: I just disentangled my self from my distraction.
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: That's not always such an easy thing to do :)
    [7:24]  Corvuscorva Nightfire: no

    stevenaia joined them:

    Adams Rubble: In watching myself, I may just be a composite of "selves" with them moving in and out as they so desire
    Adams Rubble: Hello Steve
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods. That's quite interesting.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: Hi, Steve!
    Adams Rubble: I just can't get a handle on it
    stevenaia Michinaga: hello, snow day here...smiles
    Adams Rubble: Yes, on the edge here
    stevenaia Michinaga: Hi corvi
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: ah, nice, Steve.
    Adams Rubble: we were just discussing "selves". I have been struggling with this former self which emerged during my big project
    Adams Rubble: I am having trouble getting rid of it
    Adams Rubble: Corvi wisely asked "who" is trying to get rid of it
    Adams Rubble: I have no idea who
    stevenaia Michinaga: self as in more than one? or reflection of your past
    Adams Rubble: It comes with its own set of memory and actions
    Adams Rubble: I needed it to implement the project
    Adams Rubble: Now it won;t go away gracefully :)
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: another question, then..
    Adams Rubble: yes?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: Do you have a use for this set of actions/ideas/experiences/memories/feelings?
    Adams Rubble: Hmmm
    Adams Rubble: Other than the project, of course....
    Adams Rubble: maybe :)
    Adams Rubble: Another good pointer Corvi
    Adams Rubble: It is interesting that it is so easy to move in and out of these selves at times
    stevenaia Michinaga: I know I missed the ebgining, but what atributes of this do you feel you need to shed
    Adams Rubble: Oh, this self is a curmugeon...
    Adams Rubble: it is suspicious
    Adams Rubble: it is angry
    Adams Rubble: generally very diifficult to get along with
    stevenaia Michinaga: yes, crankieness of sorts, I can understand niw
    stevenaia Michinaga: now
    Adams Rubble: It is the self before PaB
    Adams Rubble: It doesn;t have any memory of what I learned in PaB
    Adams Rubble: I had a dream two days ago which pointed this out to me
    stevenaia Michinaga: I find, for me it i a state "fall in to" when I am in a specific physical state, usually distraction or tiredness
    stevenaia Michinaga: a cue for me, usually after I feel it
    Adams Rubble: yes, this is more than that though

    So far what I had missed, from here my catching up started...

    Adams Rubble: I am not tired but maybe still experiencing post-project stress
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: Hi, Quen!
    Adams Rubble: Hello Quen
    stevenaia Michinaga: hello Quen
    quen Oh: hi Adams, Corvi and Stevenaia!
    quen Oh: ah nice, I had some bad luck getting home in time
    Corvuscorva Nightfire grins. snowing?
    Adams Rubble: We kept the cushions warm :)
    quen Oh: no, people, on the road, leaving early for christmas holidays and spamming the roads and around my house nowhere to park due to a dickens christmas 'festival here
    quen Oh: thanks Adams
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: ook
    stevenaia Michinaga: the Exec Director of the Regional Planning Commission is a nortorious curmugeon, he uses it to defuse certain arguments that anny him
    Adams Rubble: :)
    quen Oh: I would be delighted to put your logs on online if you give them, unless of course you have nice comments yourself ;-)
    stevenaia Michinaga: maybe we can get storm to change the fountain for the holidays
    quen Oh: you can ask
    quen Oh: so what have you been discussing?
    quen Oh: some christmas thoughts?
    Adams Rubble: Not unless it was about Scrooge :)
    Adams Rubble: hehe
    stevenaia Michinaga: so Adams do you do this with specific people, yourself, or at specific times?
    stevenaia Michinaga: your scroogieness
    Adams Rubble: No, I don't use it that wisely
    Adams Rubble: It came on in the early in the project but I recognized it and used it
    quen Oh: scroogieness...
    Adams Rubble: Near the end there some impediments to the project which I needed to bull my way through
    quen Oh chews the word...
    quen Oh: mmm nice texture
    Adams Rubble: Then it just remained and has pretty much stuck with me. But it comes and goes
    Adams Rubble: maybe it will subside on its own
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: Adams...
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: if you are storing bits of your memory/experience/ideas/ways of doing things
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: in seperate categories...
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: well..
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: you may need parts of that at times.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: and telling it to "go away"
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: may not be the only strategy.
    stevenaia Michinaga: I was once in a play, where I had do Priate talk... it too followed me off stage for a while
    stevenaia Michinaga: now they have a Talk like a Pirate Day... I avoid it
    Adams Rubble: :)

    Grr and now my phone has detected me being at home and starts to ask attention...

    Corvuscorva Nightfire laughs at Steve.
    Adams Rubble: Do you have a strategy suggestion Corvi?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: I think so, maybe?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: What if you kind of "looked" at it?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: were aware fully of that being.
    stevenaia Michinaga: just trying to reference parallels in my own life, not trying to be trite (if that;s the coroect word)
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: allowed it to be itself, fully....
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: see it with sort of 9 second eyes?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire resolves to try this on herself a little.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: but she'll have to be brave to do it.
    Adams Rubble: That is related to your question last night. yes, i have being doing that this morning in response to the suggestion
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: what has happened? wait..i"m going to look at the blog?
    Adams Rubble: Nothing yet but it is an important pointer
    Adams Rubble: It takes a while to know what we are seeing I think
    Adams Rubble: at least for me anyway
    Adams Rubble: Suddenly, if I keep watching, whammo!
    Adams Rubble: there it is
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods, smiling.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: ok...here's my suggestion then.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: focus on that..and forget, for now, asking it to leave.
    Adams Rubble: yes, i haven;t asked this morning :)
    Corvuscorva Nightfire smiles.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: then I should stop talking..cause you're way ahead of me.
    Adams Rubble: I like the idea of the uninvited guest around the house learning to do some chores. Maybe cleaninga little or fixing the squeaky screen door
    Adams Rubble: sort of along Steve's suggestion :)
    Adams Rubble: Maybe some use for this self :)
    Adams Rubble: hehe
    Adams Rubble: please never stop talking Corvi :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: agreed
    Corvuscorva Nightfire grins.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire gave you New Note.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: I think I'm beginning to feel a little sorry for him.
    stevenaia Michinaga: who?
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: former self.
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: Former self thanks Corvi
    Adams Rubble: doesn;t want to be put to work around the house
    Corvuscorva Nightfire nods.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: Yeah...
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: I suspect, like most of us, he'd like to be treasured.
    quen Oh: (me is trying to catch back in the chat log)
    quen Oh: catch up*
    stevenaia Michinaga: I came in late as well
    Adams Rubble: You didn't miss much Steve
    quen Oh now got more behind, due to phonecall
    quen Oh: not my day...
    Adams Rubble: the tricky part of embracing former self is that it is completely ignorant of what I have elarned in PaB
    Adams Rubble: learned
    Adams Rubble: The question is then, can it start at the end, as Pema suggests
    Adams Rubble: or does it have to read all of my blog from the very beginning and then all the chat logs. hehe
    quen Oh: indeed...
    Adams Rubble: It might be easier to do chores around the house
    quen Oh: feels hebrew to start at the end
    Adams Rubble: hehe
    quen Oh: oh yes!
    quen Oh: ;-)
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: heheh
    Adams Rubble: Or is there no former self? all an illusion
    stevenaia Michinaga: cleaning lady just left my house
    Adams Rubble: :)
    quen Oh: will just quietly sit and try to see if she understands
    stevenaia Michinaga: Adams, you are partly your former self and it;s one step that made you your current self
    stevenaia Michinaga: ie, a good thing in that regard
    Adams Rubble: :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: but no need to fish in that pond again
    Adams Rubble: That is my sense of it....that I should be beyond it
    stevenaia Michinaga: think of all the other things from log ago that are part of your makeup that don;t shine through to your present, the 5 year old, the annoyed teenager... the things you never bring forward
    stevenaia Michinaga: *long
    stevenaia Michinaga: just a thought
    Adams Rubble thinking about the thought
    stevenaia Michinaga: those are thigns you have let go of
    stevenaia Michinaga: some perhaps long ago
    quen Oh: why not see the self as a ongoing changing sentive plate which is continuosly changed by new information and interpretation of it.. in which by interpreting the things we try to make sense and bring consistency in the plate....
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: wait...
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: instead of trying to change how we see the self...
    quen Oh: well have not really the rest now to seriously contemplate what that means now... I think I better call it a day and focus on drinking a cup of tea
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: perhaps it's useful too...to see it as we know it this second?
    quen Oh: yes, the non-existing gap between past and future, which is dynamic too
    Adams Rubble: OK Quen, good to see you. Just sitting here talking about this helps me to focus on the changes I have made in my life in the last six months and to see how I had grown past these things that are coming out now. Just that is a wonderful thing and I thank you all for it
    stevenaia Michinaga: good to see you Quen
    stevenaia Michinaga: enjoy your tea
    quen Oh: the self somehow connects it there, we only know about our past or context and about the direction we head in the now... and we influence the now but also get influenced... yes...
    quen Oh: need really really to focus more on tea
    Adams Rubble: :)
    Adams Rubble: near lunch time here :)
    Adams Rubble thinks about lunch
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: bye all.
    Corvuscorva Nightfire: I have to go, too.
    quen Oh: here it is 17.15 pm
    Adams Rubble: bye Corvi, thanks :)
    stevenaia Michinaga: by corvi
    quen Oh: me too, bye all, will read the logs and see to put it online
    quen Oh: thanks for catching up for me!
    Adams Rubble: Thanks Quen :)
    Adams Rubble: bye
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