2008.12.25 19:00 - That consumeristic feeling

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    Sylectra Darwin: Hi Claire!
    stevenaia Michinaga: hello Splash
    Splashinda Pond: hi
    Sylectra Darwin: How are you?
    Splashinda Pond: good
    Sylectra Darwin: Steven, Claire, this is my good friend Splashinda.
    stevenaia Michinaga: hi Claire
    stevenaia Michinaga: I see by his group :)
    Sylectra Darwin: Three!
    Sylectra Darwin: Adelene ...grins
    Sylectra Darwin: Ade is a bunny tonight
    Adelene Dawner: ^.^
    Adelene Dawner: too cold for lions, I think.
    Claire Beltran: ... Hi...
    Claire Beltran: Hello, Splashinda.
    Splashinda Pond: hi
    Threedee Shepherd: hi folks, is this stuff not yet rezzed snow?
    Claire Beltran: I'm afraid I'm not at my hapiest right now... I wish I hadn't gone out for something tonight. Too many miserable faces... it made me feel sick.
    Splashinda Pond: aww
    Threedee Shepherd: ahh it is
    Threedee Shepherd: ahh it sort of is, now
    Adelene Dawner nuzzles Claire's hand.
    Claire Beltran: ;_;
    stevenaia Michinaga: yes, thanks for the snow Sylectra
    Sylectra Darwin: Three, my hat is doing that. Do you find it distracting?
    Claire Beltran: It's so discouraging... when I try to smile at someone and they roll their eyes like I was insane... it makes me question my faith in humanity, even though that's such a histrionic reaction.
    Threedee Shepherd: no
    Sylectra Darwin: Christmas is a very amped up season, Claire. I feel it too.
    Claire Beltran: What do you mean?
    Threedee Shepherd: Well, people who are out on Xmas often do not have a pleasant place where they can be in, so you are not seeing a random sample.
    Sylectra Darwin: Well, the consumerism makes me feel pretty bleak.
    Sylectra Darwin: Just listening to the children having screaming fits about wanting toys immediately makes me so sick.
    Splashinda Pond: i agree
    Sylectra Darwin: Yes, Three, people get frantic from all the present-related expectations and forget what the season is all about - appreciating the ones you love.
    stevenaia Michinaga: I find my material needs are low, the older I get
    Threedee Shepherd: Actually, ALL year is a season for that :)
    Adelene Dawner: ^^
    Sylectra Darwin: Yes indeed.
    Sylectra Darwin: This year I got rid of a lot of stuff. And it felt so good!
    Sylectra Darwin: I need to do more.
    Threedee Shepherd: Christmas/Hanukkah in modern American (and possibly European) culture bears little relation to the origins of such winter solstace traditions.
    Sylectra Darwin: Celleon, hello and welcome
    Sylectra Darwin: Yes.
    Sylectra Darwin: I got sick of Thanksgiving too because it became the season of fussy cooks in the kitchen making life hell for everyone around them.
    Sylectra Darwin: Not that there aren't some wonderful cooks who aren't a drag during the holidays...
    Splashinda Pond: amen
    Sylectra Darwin: But geez, let's just chill, you know? We're supposed to be happy and enjoy each other.
    stevenaia Michinaga: welcome Celleon, have you been here before?
    Threedee Shepherd: Actually, without the frenzy, I have come to like thanksgiving as a time of renewed "fellowship", not just with family. and there are no gifts to worry about.
    Splashinda Pond: i know
    Sylectra Darwin: I had the most wonderful Thanksgiving about 4 years ago. My ex-husband's father in law was stuck in the hospital with a long recuperation from surgery.
    Sylectra Darwin: We brought Marie Callender's takout to him and his wife there.
    Sylectra Darwin: We shared the pie with the nurse's station.
    Threedee Shepherd: It will be interesting to see what (if any) lasting impact the current economic devastation has on consuming/consumer culture????
    Sylectra Darwin: We ate on plastic plates on the bed and it was so simple and pleasant.
    Claire Beltran sniffles.
    Claire Beltran: I can't believe I let something so simple make me so unhappy... but it may also have been tied up in deeper worries about race and prejudice and conflict, ones that I refuse to voice and so usually suffer through quietly.
    Claire Beltran: I'm sorry to throw all this on you...
    Sylectra Darwin: You're dead on, Claire.
    Sylectra Darwin: It's a good time to think about such things.
    Sylectra Darwin: I do long for simplicity at this time of year, but Americans are complex creatures...or should I maybe say that people in most countries around the world are complex.
    Threedee Shepherd: Claire, people come in all sorts, the news rarely reports about the non-bad stuff that is the majority of daily life.
    Claire Beltran: I don't mean that... it's like fear for me. Fear about the way the world works, fear about the way black people see me.
    Claire Beltran: I'm sorry to throw this out so bluntly... but I feel a great and pressing need these days to express what I think.
    Sylectra Darwin: Fear is our indicator that we care about something.
    Sylectra Darwin hugs Claire.
    Claire Beltran: I get scared... there are so many homeless people in our neighborhood. And they're mostly male and black.
    Threedee Shepherd: I have been to New Mexico (the state) many times and always feel "different" and uncomfortable there because the dominant culture in most places is non-Anglo. I think that is a normal response to the "different" culture or values or customs.
    Claire Beltran: I'm exasperated that my conscience dictates that I give money to at least one or two of them because I perpetually worry that the money will be spent on drugs.
    Claire Beltran strokes Adelene's back.
    Adelene Dawner: ^.^
    Adelene Dawner: You can overrule your conscience, or redirect it - that money may be better used by a charity that works with the homeless, for example.
    Claire Beltran: I've been wondering about that.
    Claire Beltran: Part of the problem, I'm fairly certain, is guilt - I worry too much about being perceived as heartless for ignoring these people.
    Adelene Dawner: There are other options betwen those two, tho.
    Sylectra Darwin: It's hard to decide what to do when faced with someone who is asking for help in that way.
    Sylectra Darwin: I usually give a buck or two if I can, not really knowing what they will do with it. But I also like to give to organizations like Goodwill and Salvation Army.
    Sylectra Darwin: If I could interject, this is my mother's birthday - or would be if she were still living.
    Sylectra Darwin: So I am thinking about her a lot tonight.
    Splashinda Pond: hugs sylectra
    Sylectra Darwin: I find that now that I am on my journey of discovery and a new life, some sadnesses have come back, like missing Mom.
    Sylectra Darwin: Thanks Splash :)
    Splashinda Pond: pats sylectra on the back
    Sylectra Darwin: Ade, have you completed your move yet?
    Adelene Dawner: Nope. Two weeks from today. ^.^
    Sylectra Darwin: Where to, if it's okay to disclose?
    Splashinda Pond: unfourtunatley, one of the days that i find important in a positive way is important in a negative way to someone close to me
    Claire Beltran: I'm sorry to hear that, Sylectra... a lot of my mother's family members have been dying recently, ones in her parents' generation.
    Adelene Dawner: Near Corvi, who I'm sure would rather I not.
    Threedee Shepherd: Claire, do you have any ideas about what would help you with your current mood, right now?
    Sylectra Darwin: smiles
    Sylectra Darwin: Corvi is a sweetheart and it will be good to be near a friend.
    Adelene Dawner: yes :)
    Adelene Dawner nudges Claire's hand again.
    Pila Mulligan: Merry Christmas
    Threedee Shepherd purrs
    Threedee Shepherd: Hi Pila
    Claire Beltran runs a hand across Three's man. "I have little idea. Like I said, the issue is rooted deep in hang-ups I have about race, ones that I can barely come to terms with."
    Claire Beltran: *Three's mane, gah!
    Pila Mulligan: hi 3d
    Claire Beltran: Despite my family, I think I also feel more than a little lonely tonight.
    Sylectra Darwin: Pila, good to see you. How is the weather in Hawaii?
    Pila Mulligan: rainy
    Pila Mulligan: let me not interrupt the discussion, please
    Splashinda Pond: i hope you feel better, Claire.
    Claire Beltran: Hello, Pila.
    Pila Mulligan: hi Claire :)
    Threedee Shepherd: what is it about race that is disturbing, Claire?
    Claire Beltran: Fear.
    Adelene Dawner: "The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution."
    Sylectra Darwin: That's interesting Claire... I think that fear is the basis for our perception of separation from other human beings.
    Sylectra Darwin: And we all feel it.
    Sylectra Darwin: Adelene, would like to hear where that quote came from if you know.
    Adelene Dawner: it's by Bertrand Russell ... googling.
    Sylectra Darwin: Would stating the problem include asking a question? Because I am interested in questions.
    Adelene Dawner nods.
    Threedee Shepherd: It could, I think, Syl
    Claire Beltran: Does what you say now pertain to what I'm saying? And if so, do I need to clarify?
    Sylectra Darwin: Claire who are you asking? :)
    Nostrum Forder: Beings.
    Sylectra Darwin: Hi Nostrum!
    Adelene Dawner: Beings in snow. Even some sad beings in snow. ^.-
    Threedee Shepherd: Hi Nostrum
    Pila Mulligan: hi Nostrum
    Splashinda Pond: hi nostrom
    Sylectra Darwin: There is beauty in sadness.
    Adelene Dawner: ok, that's *really* getting to be a bit much with the particles. Hurts.
    Adelene Dawner: Better.
    Sylectra Darwin: I can turn them off.
    Sylectra Darwin: Jack, welcome.
    Sylectra Darwin: Would you like to join us?
    Nostrum Forder: SO CAN Adelene
    Nostrum Forder: :)
    Adelene Dawner: ... :|
    Adelene Dawner: Thanks, Syl.
    Sylectra Darwin: So is there a sense of Being in sadness?
    Sylectra Darwin: No problem, Ade :)
    Adelene Dawner nibbles on the hem of Claire's shirt.
    Squee giggles. that tickles.
    Squee: Remember that this is what you love to do.
    Sylectra Darwin: who is Sqee?
    Adelene Dawner: A pet of mine - similar to Faenic.
    Claire Beltran: What, for that matter, is Faenik? And where do these pets come from, anyway?
    Sylectra Darwin: Cute!
    Sylectra Darwin: What kind of pet?
    Adelene Dawner: Faenic is a pet of Fael's - the body for Squee came from Grendel's (he's a mouse) and Fael gave me the script - I provided the quotes. ^.^
    Sylectra Darwin: I like the quotes!
    Adelene Dawner: ^.^
    Squee: There can be no transforming of darkness into light and of apathy into movement without emotions.
    Threedee Shepherd: Claire, does us all being here together, help you thoughts?
    Claire Beltran: I think so... I think.
    Pila Mulligan: :)
    Claire Beltran: I feel so lonely tonight, of all nights in the year.
    Sylectra Darwin: That totally makes sense
    stevenaia Michinaga: you are amongst your friends here, Claire
    Pila Mulligan: actually loneliness is not an uncommon feeling this time of year, Claire
    Claire Beltran: It would seem so...
    Pila Mulligan: to me the reason -- or one at least -- relates to the intense commercialization of Christmas
    Squee: Stop looking forever - happines is right beside you.
    Sylectra Darwin: Well it's great to hear your thoughts today, all of you.
    Claire Beltran: Even mine?
    Adelene Dawner nods.
    Squee giggles. that tickles.
    Threedee Shepherd: Claire, hearing you and sharing thoughts with you is good, no matter what the content.
    Sylectra Darwin: smiles
    Claire Beltran: Thank you...
    Adelene Dawner: No thanks necessary - we're speaking the truth, not doing you a favor. ^.^
    Sylectra Darwin: Well, I need to get going...
    Sylectra Darwin: Thank you all for the lovely conversation.
    Sylectra Darwin: ")
    Sylectra Darwin: :)
    Adelene Dawner: cya, Syl
    Pila Mulligan: bye Selectra
    Threedee Shepherd: goodnight Syl, and enjoy ^.^
    Pila Mulligan: Sy*
    Pila Mulligan: have a nice evening
    Sylectra Darwin: okies, you guys take care and happy holidays
    Squee: Honor your humanness and all of your feelings - the messy ones, the growing pains, the ache - because we can't have the dark without the light.
    Adelene Dawner: ^.^
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