2011.01.27 13:00 - tension and breathing

The Guardian for this meeting was Lia Rikugun. The comments are by Lia Rikugun.

Sunshine Vayandar: hi Lia ;)
Lia Rikugun: hi sunshine
Lia Rikugun: how are you doing?
Sunshine Vayandar: I hope I won't sit on someone this time
Sunshine Vayandar: I am wel ty ;)
Lia Rikugun: :)
Sunshine Vayandar: well
Sunshine Vayandar: how are you Lia?
Lia Rikugun: i am the only one yet
Lia Rikugun: am good thank you
Sunshine Vayandar: ;)
Wol Euler: hello sun, lia
Sunshine Vayandar: hi Wol ã‹¡
Lia Rikugun: hi wol :)
Lia Rikugun: wow what a nice hat
Wol Euler: ty :)
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm yes nice colors
Wol Euler: part of the outfit, but it was the reason I bought this outfit :)
Lia Rikugun: i love it !
Sunshine Vayandar: reminds me of a burning sombrero I saw here this week
Sunshine Vayandar: ;p
Wol Euler smiles.
Wol Euler: it was relatively cheap, actually, it's an old item and marked down.
Sunshine Vayandar: really
Aubergine Mint: hiya
Wol Euler: hello aubergine, I haven't seen you in a while :)
Lia Rikugun: hello aubergine
Sunshine Vayandar: hi aubergine ;)
Aubergine Mint: don't get much time lately
Sunshine Vayandar: wow someone talked about her Wol
Sunshine Vayandar: ty
Sunshine Vayandar: Eshi
Wol Euler nods. She's famous, and quite good :)
Lia Rikugun: what is that?
Wol Euler: the designer of this outfit, Eshi Otawara
Lia Rikugun: oh i understand, thank you
Aubergine Mint: I like her designs
Sunshine Vayandar: I think she made an amazing build one of the imagine festivals
Lia Rikugun: we have a break soon
Lia Rikugun: should we just try to drop to see what we are :)
Lia Rikugun: or just relax
Sunshine Vayandar: kk ;)
--BELL--
Lia Rikugun: hi mick
Wol Euler: hello mick
Mickorod Renard: Hi Lia ,Wol, sunshine and Aubergine :)
Sunshine Vayandar: hi Mick ;)
Lia Rikugun: so how was the brek for you?
Lia Rikugun: break*
Mickorod Renard: are you all well?
Wol Euler: peaceful
Lia Rikugun: :) yes for me too
Aubergine Mint: hiya Mickorod

sunshine was feeling a bit tense, so we used the breaks to concentrate on our breathing

Sunshine Vayandar: hmm bit tense
Wol Euler: why?
Mickorod Renard: great,,was that the break in your home land?
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm this evening has been a bit like that
Sunshine Vayandar: so the break was like that as well
Lia Rikugun: sorry to hear
Sunshine Vayandar: but hopefully the second will be better
Mickorod Renard: sometimes I feel tense, even for no apparent reason
Lia Rikugun: yes or sad
Sunshine Vayandar: someone upset me just before coming here
Sunshine Vayandar: in RL
Wol Euler: I'm sorry to hear it
Sunshine Vayandar: so it will take time
Mickorod Renard: me too
Sunshine Vayandar: ty Wol ;))
Sunshine Vayandar: thanks guys
Mickorod Renard: I try very hard not to get angry, as that only hurts me more
Wol Euler nods.
Sunshine Vayandar: it's not anger
Lia Rikugun: thats true
Sunshine Vayandar: just tension
Sunshine Vayandar: u know the type of tension when you don't agree with the other person
Lia Rikugun: should we try to do a breathing exercise in the next break to relax
Sunshine Vayandar: but need to accept
Lia Rikugun: ?
Mickorod Renard: but sometimes other things are equaly harmful to the self
Sunshine Vayandar: good idea
Lia Rikugun: hey yaku!
Mickorod Renard: hi Yaku
Sunshine Vayandar: hi Yak ;)
Aubergine Mint: hiya Yaku
Wol Euler: hello yaku
Lia Rikugun: yaku we were talking about tension and anger
Lia Rikugun: and we will try a breathing exercise to relax ;)

sharing or not sharing?

Sunshine Vayandar: you think it's ok to share here? I think it will influence how you guys feel also
Mickorod Renard: I find its always easier to be philosophical about issues after the event
Lia Rikugun: during the next break
Lia Rikugun: it is ok sure
Wol Euler nods.
Mickorod Renard: yea
Mickorod Renard: please
Wol Euler: of course
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm I try to rather solve it by myself
Wol Euler: up to you :)
Sunshine Vayandar: usually
Sunshine Vayandar: what do you think - is it ok if one shares these emotions with others?
Wol Euler: why wouldn't it be?
Lia Rikugun: if it is ok for you it is ok
Aubergine Mint: why ont?
Aubergine Mint: not?
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm sometimes it can get out of hand I think
Mickorod Renard: I like to think that it helps me too, as its likely that your issues are similar to mine
Sunshine Vayandar: lol and suddenly everyone is tense
Lia Rikugun: we will see ;)
Sunshine Vayandar: hi Cal ;)
Mickorod Renard: Hi Cal
Lia Rikugun: hi calvino
Aubergine Mint: hi Calvino
Calvino Rabeni: Hi Sunshine, Mick, Lia
Wol Euler: hello cal
Yakuzza Lethecus: i would see an issue in expressing the unability to verbalize all aspects that lead to issues and therefore can confuse ppl when i talk about my tensions
Sunshine Vayandar: yes I think so
Mickorod Renard: that sounds like what I face when I talk to my wife
Lia Rikugun: :)
Sunshine Vayandar: lol Mick
Sunshine Vayandar: it was my ex that called
Wol Euler: it takes two to be confused. One to speak unclearly or incompletely, and the other to let that stand instead of asking "what do you mean"
Mickorod Renard: yes, patience and an interest helps
Lia Rikugun: hello XXX
Lia Rikugun: i mean lugh
Mickorod Renard: hello Lugh
Sunshine Vayandar: hi Lugh ;)
Sunshine Vayandar: looking great ;p
Aubergine Mint: hello Lugh
Wol Euler: hi lugh
Lia Rikugun: i cannot see anything
Lugh Fehr: hellow pople sorry for that
Yakuzza Lethecus: hy lugh
Lugh Fehr: hey yaku , lookin sharp :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: hello zon
Wol Euler: sorry about that :)
Zon Kwan: hey¨
Lia Rikugun: hi zon
Sunshine Vayandar: hi zon ;)

the second break is coming up

Lia Rikugun: in one minute we do a breathing exercise
Lia Rikugun: to relax
Zon Kwan: k
Wol Euler: hello zon
Lia Rikugun: i think i will just watch my breath
--BELL--
Lia Rikugun: wow this went by fast
Mickorod Renard: hi Zon
Lia Rikugun: so how was that?
Sunshine Vayandar: better ;)
Zon Kwan: 15 thoughts
Wol Euler smiles.
Lugh Fehr: hey zon
Lia Rikugun: yes you feel better? :)
Sunshine Vayandar: I hope for you all too ;)
Lia Rikugun: yes it was very good
Wol Euler: hello sam
Sunshine Vayandar: hi sam ;)
Sunshine Vayandar: how are you?
oO0Oo Resident: hello everybody :)
Lugh Fehr: hey oOOoo
Mickorod Renard: hi oOOOOOo
Aubergine Mint: hi Sam
Zon Kwan: hi o
Yakuzza Lethecus: hello sam
oO0Oo Resident: :) rezing
Sunshine Vayandar: ty all - thanks to u - the second break was much better ;)
Lia Rikugun: great ;)
Mickorod Renard: :)
Lia Rikugun: no tension anymore?
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm may be a bit
Sunshine Vayandar: 'much less - I looked at my tension meter
Lia Rikugun: haha so another breathing in the next break
Sunshine Vayandar: ;D
Wol Euler: :)

dialing down the tensionmeter by smiling at it :)

Lia Rikugun: sowhat happened to the tensionmeter?
Sunshine Vayandar: the first time it broke
Mickorod Renard: I dont think I can hold mine till then
Lia Rikugun: how did you dial it down
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm I smiled at it
Lia Rikugun: ah how nice
Sunshine Vayandar: ;))
Lia Rikugun: i will try to do that next time i am tense
Sunshine Vayandar: well the smile worked and then also your presence
Lia Rikugun: (if i remember and dont buy too much into the tension)
Wol Euler: that can work surprisingly well actually :)
Wol Euler: yes, exactly
Wol Euler: not buy in to it.
Sunshine Vayandar: yes good tip also
Wol Euler: tell yourself "I do not have to feel this way"
Calvino Rabeni: Tension has two sides, does it not... something that wants to happen, and something that wants it not to happen
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm interesting Cal
Lia Rikugun: a clear tension can be good too i think
Sunshine Vayandar: clear tension?
Calvino Rabeni: So another way to change tension - is to say - I will let myself feel this way
Sunshine Vayandar: yes true
Mickorod Renard: I guess the word itself is indicative of something being pulled in two diferent directions
Lia Rikugun: i sometimes need tension to do something
Wol Euler nods.
Lia Rikugun: but if i am going too much into this tension nothing works
Lia Rikugun: so just a little bit :)
Lugh Fehr: i thinck tension is likes ugar has a bad rap for being over used but is as essentil as protains to the body
Lia Rikugun: a clear tension somehow
Sunshine Vayandar: yes the middle way ;)
Lugh Fehr: sugar*
Zon Kwan: balance

avalanches of tension

Yakuzza Lethecus: i think i often seem to do the failure in thinking and buying into tention and then thinking ,,this is what i want to get rid of" but i associate the tention to every attempt against it and i start with tention again
Lia Rikugun: so bilding up tension onto tension?
Yakuzza Lethecus: kind of, binding the tention to the ,,thoughts whom trying to get rid of it" therefore not loosing the tention
Lia Rikugun: for me it can easily happen as well
Wol Euler nods.
Sunshine Vayandar: it can be like an avalanche - it can get out of hand
Calvino Rabeni: A certain amount of my tension I take as something Iearned from parents as a child - "Quiet Down.. you're making too much noise" because they wanted to concentrate their adult attentions on some things known only to them
Wol Euler: you end up being more tense about tension itself, than about what you were originally worried by
Calvino Rabeni: "Keep a lid on it"
Lia Rikugun: so just letting go
Lia Rikugun: how to do that?
Mickorod Renard: I like the practice we do here for these matters,,the becoming lucid in real life for a few seconds,,seeing it from the outside
Lia Rikugun: another breathing in less than 1 minute?
Sunshine Vayandar: especially a kid cannot just stop it easily
--BELL--
Lugh Fehr: say the magick word abracatabra
Sunshine Vayandar: ã‹¡
Calvino Rabeni: Kids do need to learn to self regulate their energy and excitement
Wol Euler: easily said :)
oO0Oo Resident: there is no "lid" on the PaB pavillion
Mickorod Renard: some adults do too
Wol Euler: right
Mickorod Renard: me sometimes
Mickorod Renard: I need to turn mine up more
Lugh Fehr: i thinck we need a place to use our energy not lid it up to satify our surrunding we should do it the other way round

getting too excited and switching to fear

Calvino Rabeni: I saw this with a kitten recently, it was playing and got more and more wild and excited and seemed to be having fun .. but then it got scared by the intensity of its experience and went into a fright and hid itself away for a long time fearing to come out
Calvino Rabeni: so we resolved to watch its limits
Calvino Rabeni: lot let it go past a certain point
Lia Rikugun: thats interesting calvino
Wol Euler nods thoughtfully.
Mickorod Renard: mmm yes
oO0Oo Resident: fitness landscape in ball of yarn
Sunshine Vayandar: I love to see and experiment with this - how things calm down ...
Calvino Rabeni: Excitement flipped to fear .. the difference is coping ability
Sunshine Vayandar: I think for everyone it might be different
Lia Rikugun: did you yourself have this experieence as well calvino?
Sunshine Vayandar: but if one manages to be "in control of this - it's great
Calvino Rabeni: it might be a little different true, but I think, we all have the same functional nature as mammals
Mickorod Renard: imagines Cal jumping about like a kitten
Lia Rikugun: hehe
Sunshine Vayandar: turning tension into calm - negative into positive ...
Calvino Rabeni: in common with other humans and even warm blooded vertebrates
Lia Rikugun: a lot to explore definitely
Sunshine Vayandar: yes Lia
Sunshine Vayandar: I have been a teacher for long and love to experiment with this
Lia Rikugun: nice
Sunshine Vayandar: see how my students feel when they arrive and see if I can make them leave ina smiley happy mood
Wol Euler smiles.
Wol Euler: hello boxy
Alfred Kelberry: hi :)
Lia Rikugun: hey alfred!
Sunshine Vayandar: hi boxy ;)
oO0Oo Resident: smiles are contagious
Zon Kwan: alf
Mickorod Renard: Hi Alf
Aubergine Mint: hi boxy
Alfred Kelberry: fancy hat girl :)
Lugh Fehr: hey alph
Calvino Rabeni: In a way, Lia, it's a common experience .. tension transformed, morphs into a fear like feeling or an excitement like feeling
Sunshine Vayandar: they are sam ;)
Sunshine Vayandar: true Cal
Lia Rikugun: i need to think about this calvino, and see if i have some experiences like that
Lia Rikugun: im wondering
Lugh Fehr: yeey the fluts are back
Mickorod Renard: reminds me of riding motorbikes Cal
Alfred Kelberry: :)
Calvino Rabeni: same Mick
Calvino Rabeni: I recall that too
Mickorod Renard: sweat under the armpits
Mickorod Renard: on the edge
Lia Rikugun: sorry to leave you now, will meet pema eos stim gaya and eliza in a few minutes
Lia Rikugun: take care you all
Wol Euler: oh!
Mickorod Renard: bye Lia
Sunshine Vayandar: ty Lia - take care ;)
Alfred Kelberry: mick, reckless youth? :)
Wol Euler: give them my regards, I hope teh retreat is going well
Mickorod Renard: is wok not on?
Aubergine Mint: cya everyone
Lia Rikugun: will do wol
Lia Rikugun: byebye
Yakuzza Lethecus: bye lia
Sunshine Vayandar: byebye aubergine
Yakuzza Lethecus: bye ginee
Mickorod Renard: c ya aub
Lugh Fehr: byebye :)
Wol Euler: bye ginee
oO0Oo Resident: :) lia ginee
oO0Oo Resident: the energies themselves, without the judgements... they pass through, and phenomena become a Marc Chagall dance of colour
Mickorod Renard: anyone going to WoK?
Zon Kwan: ?
Wol Euler: not I, not tonight
Alfred Kelberry: btw, apparently, there's an italian version of wu wei called "dolce far niente" :)
Calvino Rabeni: I will -
Sunshine Vayandar: what is WoK?
Calvino Rabeni: It is an ongoing workshop called
Calvino Rabeni: Ways of Knowing
Mickorod Renard: ways of knowing
Calvino Rabeni: it happens in the Kira Cafe
Yakuzza Lethecus: http://waysofknowing.kira.org/
Sunshine Vayandar: what is it about
Zon Kwan: now ?
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm never been
Lugh Fehr: sweet not doing anything
Wol Euler: actually, maybe I will. what's tonight's theme?
Sunshine Vayandar: can I get the LM pls?
Calvino Rabeni: It is a kind of contemplation group
Sunshine Vayandar: ty Mick ;)
Alfred Kelberry: sun, it's a walk distance from here :)
Mickorod Renard: I get my days mixed up,,but I thi nk its tonite
Sunshine Vayandar: ty Yaku also ;))
Alfred Kelberry: oh, yaku bond :)
Calvino Rabeni: It has its own wiki, sunshine
Calvino Rabeni: http://waysofknowing.kira.org/
Alfred Kelberry: nice tune, woly :)
Sunshine Vayandar: hmm really I love wikis ;)
Mickorod Renard: ok,,am heading there now
Calvino Rabeni: :)
Yakuzza Lethecus: good night everyone
Zon Kwan: nite all
oO0Oo Resident: night Ku
Lugh Fehr: good night yaku
Calvino Rabeni: I'll head on over there too - bye for now
Sunshine Vayandar: nitenitee yaku
Wol Euler: goodngiht all
Mickorod Renard: nite anyone who is not going to see me in a few seconds
oO0Oo Resident: hehe
Lugh Fehr: bye bye people who aere leaving